I made the mistake of reading the latest arrest reports on the Lost Coast Outpost and then cut and pasting the names of the perpetrators on Facebook. I wouldn’t recommend doing this.

First off if you’re gonna be throwing gang signs or showing us the middle finger on your Facebook photo, what message do you really think you’re sending to the world? More importantly, you do know that potential employers typically check your Facebook page before a job interview. Also, many in local law enforcement check your Facebook on their smartphones with most encounters on the street.

When your Facebook photos revolve around various stages of inebriation, marijuana paraphernalia, fanning your dollar bills and guns, it’s time to grow up and be an adult. Not to get all religious on you, but you may want to read 1 Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” So step up, act like a man and stop being a punk.

If you’re occupation is “Hustlin,” “Being My Own Boss” and “Being Self-Employed” (i.e. - slinging drugs and stealing), then you might want to reconsider a different career path as we all know where this one is headed.

I get it that you don’t know how to spell as you dropped out of high school to go make mad stacks of Benjies slinging rock. A teacher friend told me of a 17-year old who bragged, “Why would I go to college? I’m gonna make more money than you my first year out of high school (selling drugs).”

When your Facebook post states, “Waiting for my man to get out of his stretch” (in jail) maybe you should consider a new man. I can’t even comment on someone bragging they “just got outta jail” on Facebook. One dumbass actually posted photos of himself in an orange jumpsuit (taken through the plexiglass) at the Humboldt Hilton. Your mother and father must be so proud.

If your Facebook post says, “Me and my baby momma need a ride to blue lake casino for her birthday” ‘cuz ya ain’t got a car, maybe you should be saving your money up to care for your baby.

Is it just me or does anyone else find it disturbing that most of your Facebook friends are commenting on their “baby daddy” or “baby mama”? I get it. You had a kid out of wedlock and your former partner moved on… quickly. What did you expect from a drug dealer – loyalty to you and responsibility to his children? So I’ve got an idea for a new reality TV show. Instead of “Real Housewives of (city),” we should pitch Bravo with the concept of “Baby Mamas of Humboldt.” Every Wednesday night at 10 p.m. we can tune in to watch the dysfunctional, white trash, unemployed druggies and their smack talking social interactions with other white trash, unemployed druggies. About once a month we get to follow characters like Crystal and Amy as they two girls just figured out Slick Jimmy’s been two-timing them.

“Yo skank, Jimmy’s my baby daddy.”

“Who you calling skank, skank? Slick’s my baby daddy.”  

Cat fight! It’ll be a slo-mo train wreck I that can’t keep me eyes off.

If you’re a GMOB (Grown Man On Bike) because your license got revoked or your car repossessed, you’re probably not an environmentally consciousness Green Wheels member. In fact, most neighborhood watches have their eyes on you.

So I gotta state the obvious: You know you’re white, right? Ya ain’t nothing but a gangsta wanna-be who wouldn’t last a day on the streets of EPA, Compton or East Los. And when you do something really stupid, typically under the influence of drugs, alcohol and with a gun, your life’s gonna change when you graduate to the Big House. The word “punk” is gonna take on a whole new meaning.

But the thing that really bothers me, the thing that sends me over the edge as I scroll through your selfies, the photos of you and your dumbass douchebag (double d-bag?) friends and associate criminals, the thing that really gets my blood boiling is many of you have photos of your young children on your Facebook page with accompanying sayings like, “It takes a real man to be a father to your child.” Seriously?

What kind of real man role model are you being for your kids when your lifestyle is drinking, drugging and 24/7 chaos? Conception is easy. Relationships are challenging. Raising a child is hard work.

Recently, Thadeus Greenson of the North Coast Journal wrote a cover story on Prop 47 “Catch & Release” where Paul Gallegos, our former District Attorney stated, “So, they’re not working, not contributing to the tax base. We spend more money on them. They come out more unemployable, so we spend more money on them. They still engage in creating offspring, and their kids are raised in a culture of social dependency… We’ve created a semi-permanent class of people.” I found Mr. Gallegos’ comments enlightening.

Don’t be surprised that very soon your children will be emulating mommy and daddy’s lifestyle by dropping out of high school, getting tatted and pierced, pregnant in their teens or early 20s with no legit job, selling drugs and committing crimes.

I get it. Life can be tough. I can relate as I’ve done hard time in the joint (a whole ten hours for “Failure to Appear” on an expired dog license. Yeah, Chico was a little slow on major crimes in the early 80s). Point being, I had no desire to spend any additional time in jail.

When my daughter was born, I wanted to be positive role model for her. I wanted to instill the value of an education and hard work ethic in her.  From a young age I told her she was graduating college first, and then she could go live her life. I always told her when she turned 18 she had a choice: dormitory, barracks or convent. She wasn’t gonna be some slacker attending C/R and HSU for twelve years without having a job while sitting around my couch playing X-Box, telling me she “had to figure out what she was doing with her life.” I’m proud that she’s on the Dean’s List at Pasadena City College, speaks three languages fluently and has plans to attend a U.C. in another year.

Part of our problem is the social acceptance of the marijuana outlaw culture. While many people are just small farmers who enjoy cannabis and sell/trade a little on the side to get by, many others are violent outlaws who use hard drugs and guns to get by. This bleeds into our local culture. There’s a huge divide between small farmer and drug dealer. Back to the Lost Coast Outpost daily arrest articles… how many of these lowlifes are arrested with just marijuana? Most of them also are caught with guns, cocaine, heroin and methamphetamine on their possession. Whether it’s alcohol and/or cannabis, once you add cocaine, meth and heroin in the mix, one becomes a raging asshole to the Nth degree.

How many of us have adult children who we tell to get an education, work hard at your job and you’ll be promoted over time to enjoy the American Dream, while many of their friends quit their jobs to sell drugs (including marijuana), flash the cash everywhere they go, drive new $50,000 pick-ups and never pay taxes? It’s a constant battle to keep our kids on the straight and narrow when so many of their friends in their early 20s are enjoying the lifestyle without earning it.

We all have family, friends and associates who are pillars of the community. I’m talking hard-working, tax-paying, church-going, charity-involved, youth-coaching, good folks. However, somewhere along the way an apple fell far from the tree. Some of their children have serious drug, alcohol and anti-social issues.

How many of us have friends with custody of their grandchildren because their adult children are screw-ups? Ask any elementary school teacher how many relatives are raising kids. I have and the numbers would shock you. One elementary school teacher told me she estimates around 25-33% of the kids in her school are living with an aunt and uncle or grandparents as the biological parents are unfit to care for their own children.

Can I recommend Planned Parenthood? For most of these beautiful young children on your Facebook photo page, what are their options in life? What do you think their chances are to become well-adjusted adults growing up in a household of drugs, alcohol and violence?

Pretend your child is now 13 years old and viewing your Facebook page. Would they be proud of mom and dad?

# # #

Matt’s Super Bowl comments:

Whether you are a Seattle Seahawks or New England Patriots fan, you have to agree it was a heck of a game. Unlike last year’s Super Bowl, which was over in the first 30 seconds, this Super Bowl was a nail-biter until the last 30 seconds.

To set the record straight, Chris Matthews (the Seattle Seahawks wide receiver, not the MSNBC Hardball host) was an undrafted free agent who signed with the Cleveland Browns in 2011, who then cut him. He played for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers in the CFL (Canadian Football League) before getting injured and getting cut, and then played in the Arena Football League. The Seahawks called him up for a tryout last year while he was working as a security guard (not a Foot Locker employee as previously reported). Matthews wasn’t even activated on the Seahawks roster until December 2014, late in the season. He recovered a key onside kick late in the 4th quarter of the NFC Championship game against the Green Bay Packers to keep Seattle’s playoff hopes alive. Catching a total of zero passes during the 2014 regular season, Matthews caught 4 passes for 109 yards and a touchdown in the Super Bowl and probably would have received MVP recognition if the Seahawks won.

This brings us to Malcolm Butler of the New England Patriots, a former JuCo (Junior College) player who made it to West Alabama (a Division II School) and then a walk on free agent in the NFL. Picture a player from HSU being the Super Bowl MVP. I can. Butler worked at a Popeyes Chicken during high school and college. Chevy originally gave the Super Bowl MVP award (a $35,000 truck) to Tom Brady, however Brady negotiated for Chevy to give the truck to Butler.

You had to smirk at the Coca Cola Super Bowl ad (“Make It Happy”) of someone spilling Coke over an Internet server. I’ve offered to purchase a two liter bottle of Coke for the Lost Coast Outpost to spill over their server to calm down the angry anonymous commenters.

Finally, GOP presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee issued a strong denouncement of the NFL and Katy Perry for her Super Bowl halftime song, “I Kissed a Girl,” which according to Huckabee promotes gay sex.