Speedos, pale skin and livestock were in fashion inside the soldout Arcata Theatre Lounge Saturday night for the third annual Mr. Humboldt Pageant. Oh, that got sloppy. What a time we had. 

After all the hairy hopefuls shook what their mamas dispensed them, one bro was deemed more Humboldt than the others by the adequate panel of judges. Local rancher Jeff Mason AKA Mr. Dairyman — whose rowdy fans (and mom) packed the ATL — earned his crown and scepter after storming the Swimwear Competition in a cow-print speedo and, later in the Talent Competition, taught the audience how to hand-feed a live calf. The crowd was truly awww-ed. 

Mr. Dairyman, Jeff Mason

Your Lost Coast Outpost acted as co-emcee for the evening alongside Blondies Food and Drink blondie Johanna Nagan. All told, Nagan told us this morning that the event raised between $4-5,000, much of which will go to this year’s charity of choice, Hospice in Humboldt.

Now, if you didn’t make it to the ATL but are still craving skin, lucky for you local photog Sarah Bradshaw was on hand to capture the spectacle. Scrollers beware.

PREVIOUSLY: 

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Mr. Humboldt DJ Gabe Pressure

Hosts Andrew Goff and Johanna Nagan

Mr. Green Glam

Mr. WhoNow

Mr. ForYerPleasure

Mr. Shakespeare

Mr. Bo Dirt

Mr. SpaceArtist

Mr. Metal

Mr. Dairyman

Mr. Razzle Dazzle

Your judgmental panel

“How do you pee in your suit?” “Like this?”

 

-SWIMWEAR COMPETITION-

Former competitor Mr. Rabbit Ranger snuck in somehow

Special musical guest Dr. Foxmeat.

Hitchhike sign tie-breaker

 

-TALENT COMPETITION-

Mr. Shakespeare recites a sonnet

Bo Dirt sings about being “Humboldt Bound”

Mr. Metal lifts weights before his drum solo

Mr. Dairyman shows his tender, nourishing side

Mr. Razzle Dazzle’s fancy footwork

Bo Dirt reacts to elimination

 

-Formal Wear Competition-

The final four

Former judge Alex Stillman hands out the first ever “Cougar Award” to Mr. ForYerPleasure

Nipple clamp inspection

Mr. Shakespeare wins Mr. Congeniality for having the most bras and panties flung at him

Down to two…

And your winner is… Long live…

The new Mr. Humboldt flanked by previous winners John McClurg (left) and Eric Hall (right).