Today the Lost Coast Outpost regrets to inform its readers that we are once again soliciting your letters of endorsement concerning the races on the June 2 ballot, provided those letters are in the form of a limerick.

Look: We’ve demonstrated again and again and again that Humboldt County has zero sense of rhythm, and even sometimes has trouble understanding the concept of “rhyme.” These character flaws seem to be incurable.

But we’re doing this once more because the form does at least demand that the letter-writer put some thought and effort into their support of a candidate, rather than just recycling the copy-and-paste boilerplate provided to them by a campaign. Plus, even when they are total failures, as they usually are, endorsement limericks can be kind of amusing.

And we’re starting now, because even though ballots aren’t due back at the Elections Office until June 2, people can vote as early as next week! Time sure does sneak up on you.

Send your endorsement limericks to “news@lostcoastoutpost.com” and put the word “limerick” in the subject line. Include your real name and a phone number. No gross imagery, no libelous charges against the candidate you do not favor.

Here are some early-submitted endorsement limericks to get your juices flowing.

MARY BURKE FOR FIFTH DISTRICT SUPERVISOR:

Mary Burke brings exceptional calm
Even when faced with great qualms
She’s decidedly kind
Which is quite hard to find
And builds community with great aplomb

— Natalie Arroyo

JOSH NEWMAN FOR STATE SUPERINTENDENT OF SCHOOLS:

While others stayed south in the fray,
Candidate Newman came to Humboldt Bay.
He met students and staff,
Will work on our behalf,
To make schools stronger in every way.

He understood our schools’ plight,
And marveled at Humboldt’s beautiful sight.
So when ballots arrive,
Keep our schools alive,
Help Newman win this fight.

— Jessica Callahan