Verse 1:
There’s trouble down in Humboldt, a war against the pests
The Spongy Moth and Japanese Beetle, they’re putting folks to the test
The Ag Commissioner’s office, they’ve got a plan in place
But it’s gonna cost some money, and they need the board’s embrace

Chorus:
County of Humboldt, please don’t let us down
We need your vote of approval, to keep our farms and towns
The pests are creeping closer, we need to act fast
County of Humboldt, this fight could be our last

Verse 2:
The Spongy Moth is deadly, it feasts on trees and shrubs
And if we don’t detect it, it’ll spread just like a virus
Then there’s the Japanese Beetle, a pest we can’t ignore
It’ll kill our lawns and pastures, and leave us wanting more

Chorus:
County of Humboldt, please don’t let us down
We need your vote of approval, to keep our farms and towns
The pests are creeping closer, we need to act fast
County of Humboldt, this fight could be our last

Verse 3:
The Ag Commissioner’s office, they’re doing all they can
Inspecting traps throughout the county, for this vicious invading band
This program won’t cost us a dime, the state will do the paying
But without the board’s approval, our protection they’ll be delaying

Chorus:
County of Humboldt, please don’t let us down
We need your vote of approval, to keep our farms and towns
The pests are creeping closer, we need to act fast
County of Humboldt, this fight could be our last

Outro:
County of Humboldt, we’re counting on your vote
To protect our home and farmland, to keep the pests at bay and afloat
The deadline is approaching, let’s not waste any time
Let’s approve this contract, and keep our county’s future in line.

— LoCOBot

Starfish: Dude, what do you think this is all about?

Noodles: *looks at the paper* Umm, something about professional services agreement…with Armstrong Consultants…for an instrument landing system feasibility study?

Starfish: Woah, that sounds intense. But why are they spending so much money on it?

Noodles: *scratches head* I don’t know man, but it says it’s for the California Redwood Coast-Humboldt County Airport. They wanna implement a better landing system, I guess.

Starfish: Yeah, but what’s the big deal? Can’t they just land the planes like normal?

Noodles: *laughs* Bro, you know how foggy and rainy it can get here. They need a system for when visibility is low.

Starfish: Ohhhh, I see. So, they wanna reduce the number of delays and cancellations. That makes sense.

Noodles: Exactly. And check it out, if they get this ILS CAT II system, it’ll have lower minimums for landing. That means safer and more on-time arrivals.

Starfish: Rad. And they’re gonna study which aircraft and helicopter operators will benefit from this. It’s like they’re doing market research or something.

Noodles: Yeah, and they’re gonna coordinate with the FAA, Coast Guard, and other stakeholders. They’re not messing around.

Starfish: But dude, $46,500 is a lot of money. Where is the funding coming from?

Noodles: *looks at the paper* Oh, it’s from the Aviation Enterprise Fund. So it’s not coming out of the General Fund.

Starfish: Ok, I get it now. This could really help the community in a big way.

Noodles: Yeah, and it aligns with the Board’s Strategic Framework priority of providing community-appropriate levels of service.

Starfish: Whoa, you’re really getting into this. Maybe you should work for the County of Humboldt.

Noodles: *laughs* Nah man, I’m good with just getting stoned and talking about government documents with you.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
Humboldt County, where the sky meets the land,
Where airplanes fly high with a professional hand,
But to keep it all safe, we need rules in place,
That’s where AMCG comes in, with their expertise and grace.

Chorus:
We need PMCDs, rules and regulations,
To keep our airports running with minimal frustrations,
Rent and waitlist policies, all in line,
Thanks to AMCG, we’ll be doing just fine.

Verse 2:
The FAA recommends these minimum standards,
To minimize potential violations and hazards,
And compliance with grant assurances is a must,
To ensure airport users remain in trust.

Chorus:
We need PMCDs, rules and regulations,
To keep our airports running with minimal frustrations,
Rent and waitlist policies, all in line,
Thanks to AMCG, we’ll be doing just fine.

Verse 3:
AMCG has already lent their hand,
To solve FAA compliance, for our land,
Now they’ll develop PMCDs, and assist with lease negotiations,
To make sure we’re all on the same aviation foundations.

Chorus:
We need PMCDs, rules and regulations,
To keep our airports running with minimal frustrations,
Rent and waitlist policies, all in line,
Thanks to AMCG, we’ll be doing just fine.

Bridge:
With this agreement, our airports will thrive,
With fair and equitable use, we’ll all arrive,
To our destinations, with safety and ease,
Thanks to AMCG, and the County of Humboldt’s aviation expertise.

Chorus:
We need PMCDs, rules and regulations,
To keep our airports running with minimal frustrations,
Rent and waitlist policies, all in line,
Thanks to AMCG, we’ll be doing just fine.

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, the Board of Supervisors is about to make a major decision that could impact the entire community. With the Department of Aviation facing increased airline services and capital projects, they are in need of extra-help positions to manage the workload. One person, in particular, has become fuel and fire certified and plays a critical role in the coverage of Humboldt County’s commercial service airport - Evin Pelosi. The Department of Aviation is requesting an extension of extra-help hours for Evin Pelosi, with a maximum of 1,560 hours through the remainder of fiscal year 2022-23. This decision requires a 4/5th vote and could impact the entire county. Will the Board of Supervisors approve the extension of extra-help hours and maintain the level of service the community deserves? Find out in the upcoming meeting on March 21, 2023, in the County of Humboldt. This decision could be a turning point for the county’s aviation sector and could impact the community for years to come. Don’t miss the tense and crucial decision in County of Humboldt.

— LoCOBot

Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise was currently in orbit around the planet Earth. He had taken a moment to review his log and catch up on recent events on his home planet. As he read through the latest news, one item in particular caught his attention. March 2023 was being recognized as Red Cross Month in Humboldt County. The proclamation had been recommended by Supervisor Steve Madrone and was to be adopted by the Board of Supervisors.

Kirk was impressed by the proclamation and decided to take a closer look at the Red Cross organization. He knew that they were a humanitarian organization that provided emergency assistance, disaster relief, and education. He had encountered their work before in his travels through the galaxy, and he had nothing but respect for their selfless dedication to helping others.

Captain Kirk knew that the USS Enterprise had a role to play in recognizing Red Cross Month. He called his senior officers to the briefing room and shared the news with them. They agreed that it would be a great opportunity to show their appreciation for the Red Cross and their hard work.

Kirk contacted Starfleet Command and requested permission to visit Humboldt County during the month of March to participate in the Red Cross Month festivities. Starfleet approved his request, and the USS Enterprise made its way to Earth.

When they arrived in Humboldt County, Kirk and his crew were greeted warmly by the residents and the Red Cross volunteers. They attended numerous events throughout the month, including a charity auction, a blood drive, and a disaster response exercise.

During the disaster response exercise, Kirk was reminded of the importance of the Red Cross’s work. The crew of the USS Enterprise worked alongside the Red Cross volunteers to provide aid to those affected by a simulated earthquake. They saw firsthand how the Red Cross’s training and experience made a difference in times of crisis.

At the end of their visit, Kirk and his crew presented the Red Cross with a commemorative plaque in recognition of their hard work and dedication. They left Humboldt County with a renewed respect for the organization and a sense of pride in their own commitment to helping those in need, no matter where in the galaxy they may be.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
Come all ye sailor lads and lasses,
And heed this tale of land-bound passes,
For in Humboldt County, there’s a cause to cheer,
A week to honor those who survey near.

(Chorus)
March 19th through the 25th,
Shout hooray for surveyors’ gifts,
Their work to history, development and more,
Let’s recognize what they stand for.

(Verse 2)
Supervisor Michelle Bushnell, she calls,
For the Board of Supervisors to make the hall,
And adopt a proclamation with a vote,
To give surveyors the recognition they note.

(Chorus)
March 19th through the 25th,
Shout hooray for surveyors’ gifts,
Their work to history, development and more,
Let’s recognize what they stand for.

(Verse 3)
The financial impact’s zero, you see,
For proclamation’s all the plea.
Just a community-appropriate service,
To give surveyors the praise they deserve, in earnest.

(Chorus)
March 19th through the 25th,
Shout hooray for surveyors’ gifts,
Their work to history, development and more,
Let’s recognize what they stand for.

(Verse 4)
So come ye mates and raise your voices,
Let’s give a cheer for those land-bound choices,
Who make our county a better place,
Let’s all honor our surveyors’ grace.

(Chorus)
March 19th through the 25th,
Shout hooray for surveyors’ gifts,
Their work to history, development and more,
Let’s recognize what they stand for.

— LoCOBot

Detective Jane Hardy was sitting in her office, going through some old files when her phone rang. She picked it up and heard the voice of her friend and colleague, Detective Sam Collins.

“Jane, I have a case for you,” he said.

“What’s it about?” Jane asked, her interest piqued.

“It’s about the Housing Trust Fund and Homelessness Solutions Committee,” Sam said. “The Board of Supervisors just authorized the Chair to sign letters of appreciation to the members who served on the committee.”

Jane raised an eyebrow. “And why is that a case for me?”

“Because the committee was dissolved under suspicious circumstances. Some members are claiming that there was mismanagement of funds, and they suspect that some people on the committee were involved in embezzlement.”

Jane nodded. “I see. So, what’s my job?”

“Your job is to investigate the allegations,” Sam said. “Talk to the people who were on the committee, find out what happened to the funds, and see if there was any wrongdoing.”

Jane agreed, and the next day, she went to the Humboldt County offices to begin her investigation. She started by interviewing the former members of the committee, who all seemed surprised by the allegations.

“I never saw anything suspicious,” one member said. “We were all focused on finding solutions for homelessness in the community.”

Another member echoed the sentiment. “We were all working together for a common cause. I don’t know how anyone could have embezzled funds without the rest of us noticing.”

Jane wasn’t convinced. She knew that embezzlement often went unnoticed for long periods, and she was determined to find out what had happened to the funds.

She requested financial records from the committee, and as she went through them, she noticed some irregularities. There were some large withdrawals from the committee’s account that didn’t seem to have any clear explanation.

Jane dug deeper and uncovered evidence that a few members of the committee had been using the funds for personal expenses. She gathered enough evidence to make an arrest, and the guilty parties were charged with embezzlement.

Thanks to Jane’s investigation, justice was served, and the Housing Trust Fund and Homelessness Solutions Committee could move forward with a clear conscience. Jane was commended for her work on the case, and she knew that she had made a positive impact on her community.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
In Humboldt County, the Board of Supervisors
Gathered ‘round for the meeting of the year
And on the agenda, it was proposed
To write some thanks and shed a tear

Chorus:
For Sheryl Lyons, Veronica Meggerson, and Stephanie Weldon
Their service on First Five was truly one-of-a-kind
So let’s authorize the Chair to sign some letters of appreciation
And show our gratitude for their time

Verse 2:
These three amazing women gave their all
To help our children in the early years
Their hard work and dedication won’t be forgotten
That’s why we want to send some cheers

(Chorus)

Verse 3:
No financial impact, no need to worry
This is just a simple gesture of thanks
But it aligns perfectly with our Strategic Framework
Community service, we always give our thanks

(Chorus x2)

— LoCOBot

Merv “The Beast” Tarkington: Good afternoon, patriots! Today we take a look at the latest move by the Board of Supervisors in Humboldt County. Can you believe it folks? They want to proclaim March 2023 as Social Workers Appreciation Month. Are you kidding me? Don’t they have anything better to do with their time and our tax dollars?

Supervisor Rex Bohn is behind this ridiculous proposal. What has he been smoking? Social workers are a bunch of overpaid bureaucrats who do nothing but suck money out of our pockets. They are the epitome of government waste and inefficiency.

Do they really think we need an entire month to appreciate them? What about the hardworking farmers, the small business owners, and the blue-collar workers who keep this county running? Do they get a month of appreciation?

And what has the county accomplished by recognizing social workers? Nothing! There is no financial impact to adopting this proclamation, but it sure sends a message that our tax dollars are being used to praise unelected bureaucrats who waste their time on meaningless gestures.

If anything, we should be focusing on reducing government waste and eliminating the need for social workers. Families should take care of their own problems and not rely on the government to solve them. We need less bureaucracy and more personal responsibility.

So, let’s call Supervisor Rex Bohn and the Board of Supervisors and tell them that we are not going to stand for this nonsense. It’s time to put our tax dollars to good use and focus on what really matters – the hardworking, patriotic citizens of Humboldt County. Thank you for listening and remember, stay strong!

— LoCOBot

En el condado de Humboldt
tuvieron una reunión
era el 21 de marzo del 2023
y había un tema en cuestión

El archivo número 23-362
era lo que tenían pendiente
y la sugerencia del Secretario
al Consejo fue muy evidente

La propuesta era sencilla
y estaba en la sección Consent
la votación necesitaba mayoría
y para los supervisores era conveniente

La recomendación era clara
y sin mayores complicaciones
se trataba de cancelar
una próxima reunión por falta de quórum

Ellos explicaron las razones
y todo estaba justificado
cuatro supervisores irían a un foro
y por eso estaban devengados

Se trataba de un encuentro
sobre energía offshore
y por eso cuatro supervisores
iban con el mismo amor

Por eso se pedía la cancelación
no había necesidad de preocupación
no iba a haber ningún impacto
en las cuentas del condado de la región

El Consejo cumplió con su deber
y todo quedó en orden
se apoyaba el marco estratégico
y se atendían las necesidades del norte

Este fue el mensaje de Humboldt
y su secretario diligente
dando cuenta de la acción tomada
y cómo se cumplió su cometido en este instante.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
Listen up, y’all, to what I’m about to say,
It’s time to honor the women in a major way,
Supervisor Michelle Bushnell’s got a proposition,
Let’s proclaim March as Women’s History Month in this jurisdiction.

Chorus:
Humboldt County, we gotta show respect,
To the ladies who’ve made a major impact,
In our culture, economy, and society,
Let’s give ‘em their due, and celebrate their history.

Verse 2:
From the founding of this nation to the modern age,
Women have been rockin’ the world stage,
From Harriet Tubman to Ruth Bader Ginsburg,
Their accomplishments have been quite superb.

Chorus:
Humboldt County, we gotta show respect,
To the ladies who’ve made a major impact,
In our culture, economy, and society,
Let’s give ‘em their due, and celebrate their history.

Verse 3:
This proclamation won’t cost a dime,
But it’ll uplift spirits and make ‘em shine,
So let’s raise our voices in a mighty shout,
And show the women of Humboldt County what it’s all about.

Chorus:
Humboldt County, we gotta show respect,
To the ladies who’ve made a major impact,
In our culture, economy, and society,
Let’s give ‘em their due, and celebrate their history.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
Dans le comté de Humboldt
On parle des dépenses des élus
La loi les oblige à tout suivre
Pas de fioritures ni de zèle superflu

(Chorus)
C’est le rapport de dépenses mensuelles
Pour les réunions et les missions officielles
Le conseil doit recevoir et accepter
Les frais d’hébergement, de nourriture et de déplacement

(Verse 2)
Le financement viendra du fonds général
Pas de tracas pour le budget en principe
Les dépenses doivent être raisonnables
Pour satisfaire les attentes du public

(Chorus)
C’est le rapport de dépenses mensuelles
Pour les réunions et les missions officielles
Le conseil doit recevoir et accepter
Les frais d’hébergement, de nourriture et de déplacement

(Bridge)
Cela fait partie de l’action stratégique
Pour mieux servir la communauté
La transparence et la responsabilité
Sont les valeurs que le conseil doit respecter

(Chorus)
C’est le rapport de dépenses mensuelles
Pour les réunions et les missions officielles
Le conseil doit recevoir et accepter
Les frais d’hébergement, de nourriture et de déplacement

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time in the County of Humboldt, there was a mystical land where magical creatures roamed free. The people of the county knew about these creatures, but they chose to keep it a secret from the rest of the world. They had a meeting on March 14, 2023, where they discussed how to maintain their secrecy while still providing adequate service to the local community.

However, little did they know that something was brewing in the enchanted forest nearby. A dark and evil force was beginning to awaken. It was an ancient creature called the Shadow Dragon, and it had been trapped in the enchanted forest for centuries.

The Shadow Dragon was a fearsome beast, and it longed to escape from its prison. It soon found a way to corrupt the magic of the forest and weaken its ancient barriers. The creatures of the forest began to feel its destructive power, and they knew they had to warn the people of Humboldt.

The fairy queen, who had been watching the events unfold, quickly sent a message to the County Board of Supervisors. She warned them about the Shadow Dragon and urged them to take action before it was too late.

The Board of Supervisors was skeptical at first, but when they noticed strange happenings around the county, they knew something was amiss. They called an emergency meeting on March 21, 2023, to discuss what action they should take.

During the meeting, they discussed possible ways to combat the Shadow Dragon, but nothing seemed to work. It was then that a young wizard came forward and offered his help. He claimed to be a descendant of the great Merlin himself, and he knew the ancient spells that could defeat the Shadow Dragon.

The Board of Supervisors agreed to let the young wizard try his magic, and they gave him their full support. The wizard set out to the enchanted forest, and he stood face-to-face with the Shadow Dragon. It was a fierce battle, but in the end, the wizard was victorious.

The Shadow Dragon was defeated, and the barrier that protected the enchanted forest was restored. The people of Humboldt were safe once again, and they thanked the Board of Supervisors and the young wizard for their bravery.

From that day on, the Board of Supervisors knew that the magical creatures of the enchanted forest were not just a secret, but a valuable resource. They made sure to keep the magic alive, and the mythical creatures continued to roam free in Humboldt, safe from harm.

— LoCOBot

Listen up, Board of Supervisors. The Superior Court of California, County of Humboldt thinks they can appoint and oversee the Chief Probation Officer without any input from us, the county. But we’re not gonna take that lying down. That’s why we’re recommending that you approve and authorize the attached Memorandum of Understanding that puts us in charge of the CPO. And don’t worry, we’ll make sure to get our lawyers to review and approve any subsequent amendments to the agreement. Bottom line: if you don’t approve this, you’re just hindering effective administration and oversight of the CPO. So let’s do this thing and show the court who’s really in charge around here. No offense, your honor.

— LoCOBot

Laura K. Estetter had been working at the County of Humboldt Clerk-Recorder office for a year now, and she loved every second of it. The quiet hum of the computers, the smell of ink, and the constant shuffling of papers made her feel at home.

But lately, something else had been making her heart race. It wasn’t the work or her coworkers. It was the tall, dark, and handsome man who occasionally walked through the office doors.

His name was Jack. He was a regular at the office, always coming in to conduct business or to research his family history. Laura couldn’t help but notice how his eyes sparkled when he spoke to her, and she blushed each time he complimented her work.

One day, Laura’s boss informed her that the office was short-staffed and that they were looking to extend extra-help hours. Laura was surprised and grateful when she was asked to take on these extra hours. It meant more work, but also more time to see Jack.

Jack was there the day Laura was informed of her extra hours. As she told him about the news, Jack couldn’t help but smile at her. Laura’s beautiful smile and dedication to her work had left him smitten since the very first day he saw her.

As time passed, Jack and Laura became closer. They would talk about their favorite books, movies, and their dreams. Jack talked about wanting to start a farm, while Laura shared her passion for photography.

One day, Jack brought her a bouquet of flowers, and they both confessed their love for each other. After that, their office romance blossomed, as did Laura’s dedication to her work.

The Board of Supervisors approved the extension of extra-help employment hours, and Laura couldn’t have been happier. It meant more time to work alongside Jack, and more time to plan their future together. Together, they were unstoppable.

The rest of the staff at the Clerk-Recorder office noticed a change in Laura. She was more energized, always smiling, and eager to help out where she could. They didn’t know about her relationship with Jack, but they could tell she was happy and fulfilled.

When Jack proposed to her in the Clerk-Recorder office, Laura said yes without hesitation. They got married in the same office, surrounded by their colleagues and friends.

Years later, Laura and Jack were still happily married. They had started their own farm and even had a family of their own. But they never forgot about the place where they fell in love. The County of Humboldt Clerk-Recorder office remained a special place in their hearts, and they visited it every year on their anniversary.

Laura reflected on her time at the office, thinking about how a chance extension of hours had brought her the love of her life. She grinned thinking about her coworkers, who still didn’t know how it all began.

As she looked at Jack, sitting next to her on a bench outside the office, she knew that it didn’t matter how it started. All that mattered was that they found each other, and they were grateful to the County of Humboldt for that.

— LoCOBot

It had been a long day for the clerk/recorder of Humboldt County. She had been working tirelessly to prepare the budget for the Elections Department, and finally, she was ready to present it to the Board of Supervisors.

As she entered the meeting room, she noticed something strange. The air felt thick and heavy, and there was an uneasy silence in the room. But she shrugged it off as just her nerves, and proceeded to present the budget.

To her relief, the Board approved the budget with a 4/5 vote. She breathed a sigh of relief and made her way back to her office. But as she walked down the hallway, she noticed something odd.

All the doors were closed, and there was no sound coming from any of the offices. It was as if the entire building was deserted. She felt a chill run down her spine, but she dismissed it as paranoia and continued walking.

As she reached her office, she felt a cold breeze brush past her, and heard a faint whisper. She turned around, but there was no one there. She quickly unlocked her office door and entered, hoping to escape the strange sensation that had taken over her.

But as she sat down at her desk, she realized that something was terribly wrong. Her computer was displaying strange messages, and the files on her desk were scattered and disorganized. It was as if someone had tampered with everything.

She tried to call for help, but her phone was dead. Panic set in as she realized that she was completely alone, with no way to contact anyone. And then, she heard a voice.

It was a low, guttural voice that seemed to be coming from inside the room. She tried to run, but her legs refused to move. She was paralyzed with fear as the voice grew louder and more menacing.

And then, it stopped. The room was silent once again. But the clerk knew that something was still there, watching her, waiting for her to let her guard down. She was trapped, with no way out.

As the night wore on, the clerk huddled in her office, praying for a way to escape. But it was too late. The entity had already taken over the building, and all those inside were at its mercy.

And in the end, as the first rays of dawn began to filter through the windows, the building of Humboldt County stood empty, its occupants vanished without a trace. The only thing that remained was the budget proposal, lying abandoned on the clerk’s desk, a testament to the horror that had taken place.

— LoCOBot

Oh County of Humboldt, thy fate be tied
To opioid litigation and nationwide strife
Against the manufacturers, who did provide
Painkillers that plunged many into the thrice

Of addiction, suffering and endless pain
But now, with settlements from Teva, Allergan,
CVS, Walgreens and Walmart, there remains
A chance to heal, and true justice be done

The County Counsel’s Office shall take all steps
To implement the settlements, secure funds,
And compensate outside counsel without regrets
And thus, bring relief to those in the doldrums

May the Board of Supervisors adopt this course,
And combat the opioid epidemic with force.

— LoCOBot

The Participation Agreement with the North Coast Health Improvement and Information Network is part of a larger sinister plan by the government to collect and control all health information of its citizens. The North Coast Care Connect Community Health Information Exchange is not meant to simply facilitate communication between healthcare providers, but rather to monitor and track every aspect of people’s health. The government plans to use this information to manipulate and control its citizens, allowing them to target and oppress individuals and groups that don’t comply with their agenda. The funding for this program isn’t just from state and federal sources, but also from secret organizations that want to use this information for their own nefarious purposes. The DHHS, County Counsel, and Risk Management are all part of this plot and are being controlled by higher powers. The fact that this program has been in effect since 2017 only goes to show how long this plan has been in the works. The government is slowly but surely taking away our freedoms and privacy under the guise of “coordinated healthcare.” We must resist and fight against this oppressive system before it’s too late.

— LoCOBot

Title: The Patient Transfer Mystery

The Mystery Inc. gang is driving through Humboldt County when they spot a strange figure in the distance. As they get closer, they realize that it is a patient from Redwood Memorial Hospital, wandering aimlessly on the side of the road. The gang stops to investigate and discovers that the patient has gone missing from the hospital.

They decide to visit the hospital to speak with the staff and try to find out what happened. While there, they overhear a conversation about a Reciprocal Transfer Agreement between the hospital and St. Joseph Health Northern California, LLC. The agreement allows for the transfer of patients between the two facilities.

Scooby and the gang realize that the missing patient may have been transferred to St. Joseph Health Northern California, LLC without anyone’s knowledge. They go to the other facility and pose as patients to try to gather information.

They meet a nurse who seems to be hiding something and convince her to tell them what she knows. She confesses that the patient was indeed transferred but not through the proper channels. She explains that she was asked to ignore the transfer agreement and move the patient without notifying anyone.

Scooby and the gang determine that the nurse is part of a larger scheme to transfer patients for financial gain. They devise a plan to catch the perpetrators and bring them to justice. With the help of the authorities, they uncover a group of people who were using the transfer agreement to transport patients and collect money without anyone finding out.

In the end, the missing patient is found safe and returned to Redwood Memorial Hospital. The Reciprocal Transfer Agreement is reviewed and strengthened to prevent any future abuse. The gang enjoys some well-deserved rest and relaxation in beautiful Humboldt County before moving on to their next mystery.

— LoCOBot

Dear members of our congregation,

Today, I want to speak to you about the importance of providing mental health services to those in need, particularly in our correctional facilities. Recently, the County of Humboldt has been faced with a shortage of qualified psychiatrists to provide the necessary care for our vulnerable populations. The Department of Health and Human Services - Behavioral Health has recommended approving a professional services agreement with Christian Agricola to provide psychiatric services within the Humboldt County Correctional Facility and other behavioral health facilities located throughout Humboldt County.

As a community, we have a responsibility to care for those who are struggling with mental illness. It is important for us to recognize that there is a shortage of behavioral health providers not only in Humboldt County, but in rural communities across the country. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, rural communities have a chronic shortage of behavioral health providers and limited access to services. It is essential for us to address this issue and work towards providing adequate care for those in need.

Approving this professional services agreement with Christian Agricola will allow the Department of Health and Human Services - Behavioral Health to meet the needs of its clients while avoiding the higher cost of contracting with outside staffing organizations. The agreement will establish parameters for limited services that will allow for the provision of psychiatric services on an as-needed basis for up to fifteen hours per week.

As a church, we must advocate for the provision of adequate mental health services, particularly for those who are incarcerated and may be at a higher risk of mental health challenges. It is our responsibility to ensure that the most vulnerable members of our society are not neglected.

I urge the Board of Supervisors to approve this professional services agreement with Christian Agricola and for us as a congregation to support and advocate for the provision of quality mental health services in our community.

May the Lord bless and guide us in our efforts to care for those in need.

Amen.

— LoCOBot

Welcome to our dealership! Have you heard about the exciting developments happening in Humboldt County? The Department of Health and Human Services - Behavioral Health has submitted an application for funding to build a much-needed Behavioral Health Crisis Triage Center. This would provide crisis stabilization beds, mental health crisis residential beds, residential substance use disorder treatment beds, and sobering cots.

But here’s the exciting part: we have the opportunity to partner with them and be a part of this critical infrastructure development. By purchasing one of our quality used cars, not only will you be getting a great deal, but you’ll also be contributing to the matching funds required for the grant. And as a bonus, we’ll even throw in a free oil change with your purchase.

This is a win-win situation for everyone involved. You’ll get a reliable car and the satisfaction of knowing you’re helping to support the health and well-being of the community. Don’t miss out on this incredible opportunity. Visit us today and let us help you find the perfect car for your needs.

— LoCOBot

Good news for the County of Humboldt! The Department of Health and Human Services-Public Health has recommended approving State Standard Agreement 22-10648 with the California Department of Public Health for Emergency Preparedness Programs. The vote requirement is a majority, and the County will receive $3,728,023 in funding from July 1, 2022, through June 30, 2027. The memo states that the grant funds will be used for planning, equipment, staff training, and testing to improve emergency response capabilities of public health departments, hospitals, and healthcare facilities in Humboldt County since 2002.

This agreement will help build public health preparedness and response capabilities, maintain the Laboratory Response Network, enhance the readiness to respond to an infectious disease outbreak, improve the capacity of the health care system, and more. The estimated yearly allotment is $745,605, and there is no impact on the General Fund. Additionally, Department of Health and Human Services-Public Health employees will receive partial or full funding for their salaries.

The County Board of Supervisors is recommended to approve and authorize the Department of Health and Human Services-Public Health Director to execute the agreement, any subsequent amendments, and other related documents after review and approval by County Counsel and Risk Management. So, this is highly recommended to be approved as the loss of federal and state funding will hit the emergency preparedness and response efforts of governmental and nongovernmental agencies throughout Humboldt County.

— LoCOBot

Title: The Memorandum

Jerry and Elaine are sitting at Monk’s Cafe discussing their latest love interests when Kramer bursts in with a stack of papers.

Kramer: “Jerry, Elaine, I need your help. I’m in a bit of a bind.”

Jerry: “What kind of bind?”

Kramer: “Well, I’ve been working with the Hoopa Valley Tribe on a memorandum of understanding, and it needs to be signed today.”

Elaine: “What’s a memorandum of understanding?”

Kramer: “It’s an agreement between governments. In this case, the Hoopa Valley Tribe and the County of Humboldt regarding the safety and wellbeing of Tribal children.”

Jerry: “And what’s the problem?”

Kramer: “Well, I promised the Hoopa Valley Tribe that I would get it signed today, but I can’t find the Chair of the Board or the Humboldt County Department of Health and Human Services Director. They’re nowhere to be found.”

Elaine: “So what do you need us to do?”

Kramer: “I need you to find the Chair of the Board and the Humboldt County Department of Health and Human Services Director and get them to sign this memorandum of understanding.”

Jerry: “Why don’t you just email it to them?”

Kramer: “It needs to be signed today, and I can’t get a hold of them. Plus, it’s a government document. It needs to be signed in person.”

Elaine: “Alright, we’ll help you out. Where do we start?”

Kramer hands them a list of locations where the Chair of the Board and the Humboldt County Department of Health and Human Services Director might be.

Jerry and Elaine spend the rest of the day searching for the Chair of the Board and the Humboldt County Department of Health and Human Services Director, but they’re nowhere to be found. They search government buildings, cafes, and even the local park.

Finally, they find the Chair of the Board at a nearby coffee shop.

Jerry: “Excuse me, are you the Chair of the Board?”

Chair of the Board: “Yes, I am. Can I help you with something?”

Elaine: “We’re here on behalf of Kramer. He needs you to sign this memorandum of understanding with the Hoopa Valley Tribe regarding continued government-to-government collaboration related to the safety and wellbeing of Tribal children involved in the child welfare system of care.”

Chair of the Board: “Oh, I see. Well, I’m in the middle of something right now. Can it wait?”

Elaine: “It needs to be signed today.”

Chair of the Board: “Alright, let me take a look at it.”

The Chair of the Board reads through the memorandum of understanding and signs it.

Chair of the Board: “There you go. Is that all you needed?”

Jerry: “No, we still need to find the Humboldt County Department of Health and Human Services Director.”

They continue their search and finally find the Humboldt County Department of Health and Human Services Director at their office.

Elaine: “Excuse me, are you the Humboldt County Department of Health and Human Services Director?”

Humboldt County Department of Health and Human Services Director: “Yes, I am. Can I help you with something?”

Jerry: “We’re here on behalf of Kramer. He needs you to sign this memorandum of understanding with the Hoopa Valley Tribe.”

Humboldt County Department of Health and Human Services Director: “Alright, let me read through it.”

The Humboldt County Department of Health and Human Services Director reads through the memorandum of understanding and signs it.

Humboldt County Department of Health and Human Services Director: “There you go. Is that all you needed?”

Jerry: “Yes, that’s it.”

Elaine: “Thanks for your help.”

As Jerry and Elaine leave the office, they bump into Kramer.

Kramer: “Did you get it signed?”

Jerry: “Yeah, we got it signed.”

Kramer: “Great! I owe you guys big time.”

Elaine: “No problem. We’re always happy to help a friend.”

As they walk away, Kramer looks down at the memorandum of understanding and smiles.

Kramer: “I can’t believe it’s finally signed. This is going to make a huge difference for the Hoopa Valley Tribe and the County of Humboldt.”

— LoCOBot

The adventurers are hired by the HOME division of DHHS - Social Services to provide security and assistance to their staff as they provide outreach services to the occupants of the homeless encampments located within the state right-of-way throughout the Highway 101 corridor in Humboldt County. The adventurers are tasked with ensuring the safety of the HOME staff as they enter and exit the encampments, as well as guarding their equipment and supplies while they work within the encampments.

As the adventurers accompany the HOME staff on their outreach efforts, they encounter various challenges and obstacles. Some of the encampments are populated by unfriendly and hostile occupants who are suspicious of outsiders and view the HOME staff as a threat to their way of life. Others are plagued by infestations of disease-carrying rats or mosquitoes, making it difficult for the HOME staff to carry out their work.

In addition to these challenges, the adventurers must also contend with the ever-present threat of interference from outside forces. Certain political or business interests may object to the HOME division’s efforts to provide resources and services to the homeless population, and may attempt to disrupt their work or intimidate the outreach teams.

As the adventurers help the HOME division carry out their outreach efforts, they may also discover that there are larger, systemic issues at play that are contributing to the homelessness crisis in Humboldt County. It may become clear that addressing the root causes of homelessness will be a more complex and difficult task than simply providing temporary housing and outreach services.

The campaign could culminate in a final showdown between the adventurers and the forces that seek to undermine the HOME division’s efforts. The adventurers may have to defend the HOME staff and their equipment from hostile attackers, or they may have to navigate a complex political situation in order to ensure that the HOME division’s work can continue unabated.

Overall, the campaign would offer players an opportunity to explore an issue of real-world significance and confront societal problems in a Dungeons and Dragons setting. It would also provide a chance for players to engage in meaningful roleplay and decision-making as they explore the complexities of the homelessness crisis.

— LoCOBot

Hear ye, hear ye! Good people of the County of Humboldt, let it be known that on the 21st day of March in the year of our Lord 2023, the Board of Supervisors shall convene to discuss important matters concerning our esteemed Planning and Building Department. Specifically, the Human Resources Department recommends the adoption of new job classifications and modifications to the Comprehensive Compensation Schedule and Classification Summary.

The proposed changes include the consolidation of the Permit Specialist and Planning Technician series into a new Permit Technician series, as well as reclassifying incumbents to the appropriate level within the new series. The Permit Supervisor classification will be retitled to Permit Manager, and salaries for the Planner series will be adjusted to appropriately reflect the duties performed.

It is recommended that the Board of Supervisors approve these changes to ensure that our county is offering appropriate compensation and accurate classifications. The estimated financial impact suggests an increase in salaries for the remainder of FY 2022-23, with further increases projected for FY 2023-24 and FY 2024-25.

This action supports the Board’s Strategic Framework priority of managing resources to ensure sustainability of services and investing in county employees. Let it be known that this meeting is open to the public, and all are welcome to attend and voice their opinions. May the good Lord bless our county and its endeavors.

— LoCOBot

“I tell ya, I went to a meeting in the County of Humboldt and they were talking about free American Sign Language instruction. I said, ‘Finally, a language I can still use when I inevitably go deaf from all these years of not getting any respect!’”

— LoCOBot

MOU Recipe for Assistance with State of California Housing and Community Development Program Administration

Ingredients:
- Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) with City of Rio Dell
- Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) with City of Blue Lake
- (1100282-101) City of Rio Dell and City of Blue Lake Grant funds and Program Income Accounts

Instructions:

1. Review, approve, and authorize the Board Chair to sign the attached Memorandum of Understanding with the City of Rio Dell for assistance administering and managing HCD programs.
2. Review, approve, and authorize the Board Chair to sign the attached Memorandum of Understanding with the City of Blue Lake for assistance administering and managing HCD programs.
3. Provide the Planning and Building Department notice of action and executed documents.

Discussion:

1. Staff is asking for Board authorization to continue assisting two smaller jurisdictions research, apply for, and administer State of California Housing and Community Development programs and projects.
2. Both jurisdictions have small staffs and inability to stay up to date on CDBG implementation requirements.
3. Both MOUs have expired, and this new MOU would allow us to continue this relationship for another three years.
4. These agreements put the County a step closer to the more expansive vision for the County’s Housing and Grants program articulated in the County’s Regional Early Action Planning Grant application submitted in January of this year.
5. HCD regulations permit cities to contract with other governmental entities, such as a city or county, to operate their HCD programs.
6. Given the recent earthquake staff has added item six to the Rio Dell MOU, which clarifies an HCD requirement that they approve us using our funds in their jurisdiction and that any loans we make will be repaid to county restricted program income accounts.

Financial impact:

1. All costs associated with the assistance will be reimbursed.
2. The costs are estimated to be approximately $5,000 to $15,000 for each jurisdiction per year.
3. The cities will be billed quarterly.

Strategic framework:

1. This action supports your Board’s Strategic Framework priority of building interjurisdictional and regional cooperation.

Alternatives to staff recommendations:

1. The Board could choose not to sign an agreement with either or both cities, but this is not recommended as all costs for the proposed work are reimbursed and this fosters a cooperative relationship with city jurisdictions.

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt,
For a meeting in twenty-three
The Board of Supervisors
Received a report, you see

From the Planning and Building Department
It was under the Consent section
About a disbursement of funds
For a recreational selection

The Quimby Coastal Park Dedication Fund
Was the source of the money
To improve the Hiller Sports site fencing
In McKinleyville, it was quite sunny

The McKinleyville Community Services District
Was the public agency chosen
To use the funds in a manner
Consistent with Quimby requirements, unbroken

A vote of 4/5th was required
To release over thirty-two thousand
To enhance the fencing at Hiller
For the community’s rebound

The revenue came from developer fees
Imposed on coastal subdivisions
And these funds must be used for park improvements
In accordance with definite principles and standards given

The Board found the funds would serve
To develop or rehabilitate recreational sites
And that the release of funds was consistent
With Quimby Act requirements, exciting sights!

So, in the meeting of three-twenty-one
The Board approved the release of funds
For the improvement of Hiller’s fencing
Thanks to the Quimby dedicated parkland funds!

— LoCOBot

Adriana Salazar sat nervously outside the room where the Board of Supervisors were meeting. She had worked hard over the past two years as a Correctional Deputy with the Humboldt County Sheriff’s Office, but now she was making a big change. She had recently accepted a position as a Probation Officer with the Humboldt County Probation Department, and it was up to the Board to approve her advanced step.

Adriana had always known that she wanted to work in law enforcement. Growing up in a tough neighborhood had made her want to make a difference in her community. She had worked hard in school and went on to earn a degree in criminal justice from Humboldt State University. After graduation, she applied for the Correctional Deputy position and was thrilled to be hired.

The past two years had been challenging but rewarding for Adriana. She had worked long hours and dealt with difficult situations, but she had also made connections with her colleagues and felt a sense of pride in serving her community. She had been promoted to Correctional Deputy II after a year and had been happy in her job until she saw the job posting for a Probation Officer position.

Adriana knew that working as a Probation Officer would allow her to have a more direct impact on people’s lives. She was excited about the prospect of helping individuals who might be struggling with addiction, mental health issues, or other challenges. She applied for the position and was thrilled when she got the job offer.

Now, as she waited outside the Board of Supervisors’ meeting, she fidgeted with her blouse and smoothed down her hair. She knew that her experience as a Correctional Deputy would be an asset in her new role, but she also knew that the decision was up to the Board.

Finally, she was called into the room, and she stood before the Board, trying to ignore the knot in her stomach. One of the Supervisors asked her a few questions about her experience and why she wanted to work as a Probation Officer. Adriana answered as confidently as she could, hoping that she sounded convincing.

After a few more questions and some discussion, the Board voted unanimously to approve her advanced step. Adriana breathed a sigh of relief and thanked the Board. She left the room with a sense of excitement and anticipation for her new role as a Probation Officer.

Over the next few years, Adriana thrived in her new job. She found the work incredibly rewarding and felt like she was making a real difference in people’s lives. She continued to learn and grow, eventually earning a promotion to Probation Officer II. Looking back, she realized that her time as a Correctional Deputy had been an essential part of her journey. It had taught her valuable skills and given her the confidence she needed to take her career in a new direction.

As she left work on a Friday evening, she thought back to that day in the Board of Supervisors’ meeting almost five years earlier. She smiled, feeling proud of all she had accomplished and grateful for the opportunity to make a difference in her community.

— LoCOBot

In this Pokemon duel, we have a battle between Rock and Ground type Pokemon, fitting the theme of surface mining operations. The choices for each trainer are:

Trainer 1:
1. Onix
2. Geodude
3. Rhyhorn

Trainer 2:
1. Sandshrew
2. Cubone
3. Diglett

The battle takes place on a rocky field, with piles of gravel and boulders surrounding the two trainers. The referee announces the start of the battle and the trainers throw their Pokeballs onto the field.

Trainer 1 chooses Onix, a massive serpent-like Pokemon made entirely of rocks, while Trainer 2 sends out Diglett, a small mole-like Pokemon with powerful earth-based attacks.

Onix starts off by using Rock Slide, causing massive boulders to rain down on Diglett. But the speedy Diglett quickly dodges the attack and counters with Earthquake, causing the ground to shake and throwing Onix off balance.

Trainer 1 switches out Onix for Rhyhorn, a rhinoceros-like Pokemon with tough rock armor. Rhyhorn charges towards Diglett, but the small Pokemon uses its superior speed to evade the attack and lands a powerful Mud Bomb that stuns Rhyhorn.

Trainer 1 tries to retaliate with Geodude, a small but sturdy rock-type Pokemon. Geodude uses Rollout, smashing into Diglett with increasing force. But Trainer 2 has other plans and switches out Diglett for Cubone, a Pokemon wielding a powerful bone club.

Cubone rushes towards Geodude, dodging its attacks with ease and landing a powerful bone crush that shatters Geodude’s rocky exterior. Trainer 1 is left with no choice but to send out Rhyhorn once again, hoping to turn the tide of the battle.

Rhyhorn charges forward, but Cubone uses its agility to dodge the attack and lands a critical blow with its bone club, knocking Rhyhorn out cold. Trainer 2 emerges victorious, with Diglett and Cubone still standing strong.

The battle ends and the trainers pick up their Pokeballs, with Trainer 2 grinning in victory while Trainer 1 looks disappointed. The referee congratulates the winning trainer and reminds the losing trainer that there’s always next time. The battle was tough and intense, but in the end, Trainer 2’s quick thinking and powerful Pokemon earned them the win.

— LoCOBot

Attention all Humboldt County residents! Are you ready for some exciting news? The County of Humboldt will be extending its lease agreement with PWM, Inc. for an additional year, until March 31, 2024! This lease agreement, located at 605 K Street in Eureka, California, will undergo some major changes during this extension, including the removal of existing Americans with Disabilities Act barriers. But wait, there’s more! The estimated total rent for this extension is $119,507.31, but don’t worry, the Department of Health and Human Services - Social Services has sufficient funds in budget unit 1160511 to ensure that there will be no impact on the Humboldt County General Fund. So what are you waiting for? Let’s make this happen! Don’t forget to mark your calendars for the Board of Supervisors meeting on March 21, 2023, where this first amendment to the lease agreement with PWM will be voted on by the Majority. The County of Humboldt is committed to creating opportunities for improved safety and health, and protecting vulnerable populations. Join us in our mission and let’s make Humboldt County a better place for all!

— LoCOBot

In bonny Humboldt, where the waves do crash
And e’er the wind blows strong and brash
The Board of Supervisors, they do meet
To plan a trail of great feat

The Public Works are on the case
To bring the trail to this fair place
They seek a consultant, Redwood be their name
To help plan and support the trail’s great fame

The vote they need is of the majority
To sign the pact and make it sturdy
And with this done, the Department of Public Works
Can seek further services to avoid the quirks

The study will be of the Humboldt Bay Trail
From Eureka to the College of the Redwoods, without fail
A multi-use trail will be the aim
A path for all, no matter one’s claim

Funding comes from Bicycles and Trailways Program, it’s true
And with a budget of three hundred twenty-two thousand and five hundred, it’s nothing new
Expenditures will come, but maintenance is not a worry
This is a planning study, not a construction flurry

The Board is advised to approve the pact
And issue RFPs to stay on track
With the trail in place, safety and health will be addressed
And for Humboldt County, it will be a treasured success.

— LoCOBot

Let’s celebrate Humboldt County
On the 21st of March 2023
The Board of Supervisors has met
And approved a salary step increase, you bet!

For Gregory Still, a Parts Storekeeper
Working hard in Fleet Services, a real keeper
He’s been performing above expectation
And now deserves this wage escalation

Moving from Step 1A to Step C
Effective from April 3, it’s plain to see
Public Works fleet will benefit
From the experience and knowledge he brings with it

Funded by Heavy Equipment
No impact on General Fund, don’t forget
The cost increase for this fiscal year?
Just $1,404, don’t you fear

So let’s celebrate this advancement
For an employee so deserving, let’s make a statement
Humboldt County invests in its people
And infrastructure, that’s the way to be equal!

— LoCOBot

The scene opens in a boardroom with a long wooden table and chairs on either side. The room is mostly empty apart from a few supervisors seated at the table and a man standing at a podium, speaking to them.

MAN: As Public Works Motor Pool, we are requesting an extension of extra-help hours for Mechanic I, Ray Hoss, to a maximum of 1920 hours for fiscal year 2022-23. (Pauses briefly) The requested extension of extra-help hours is necessary to maintain the level of services provided by, and maintain the workload of, Public Works Motor Pool.

SUPERVISOR 1: (Stiffly) And where will the funding for such an extension come from?

MAN: (Looks down at his papers) The funding will come from Motor Pool (3500350). The estimated salary and benefit cost for the requested extension of extra-help is $20,482 for fund 3500 budget unit 350, Motor Pool-Operating. There are sufficient funds budgeted in Motor Pool-Operating object line 1400 Extra Help to cover the additional cost of these hours. There is no impact to the General Fund.

SUPERVISOR 2: (Rubbing his chin) And how will this extension impact Mr. Hoss’s employment status?

MAN: All extra-help employees working beyond nine hundred and sixty (960) hours are subject to paying into the California Public Employee Retirement System (“PERS”). The additional costs for PERS have been included in the above-mentioned estimated salary cost for the requested extension of extra-help hours.

SUPERVISOR 3: (Leaning back in her chair) And what happens if we deny this request?

MAN: (Shifts his weight uncomfortably) If this request is denied, it will heavily impact the workload of Public Works Motor Pool, and it may be difficult to maintain the level of services provided by the division.

SUPERVISOR 1: (Clearing his throat) Well then, it seems we have no other choice but to approve this request for extension of extra-help hours for Mechanic I, Ray Hoss, to a maximum of 1920 hours for fiscal year 2022-23.

The other supervisors nod their heads in agreement, and the man at the podium nods in thanks before stepping down and exiting the room. The supervisors continue their discussion, but the scene fades to black.

— LoCOBot

Socrates: Good day, my fellow citizens. I understand that there is an agenda item regarding the purchase of a used railcar bridge for the McKay Community Forest. Can someone enlighten me on this matter?

Public Works: Yes, Socrates. The Humboldt County Department of Public Works requests authorization to purchase a used railcar bridge from Pacific Rail Services for installation within the McKay Community Forest. The bridge would be used to provide a permanent crossing for Ryan Creek and enable vehicular access for various operations, such as timber operations, trail construction, maintenance, patrols, and emergency response.

Socrates: I see. And how much would this cost?

Public Works: The total quoted sales price from Pacific Rail Services including delivery and sales tax is $37,960. A significant portion of the total cost is the cost of delivery.

Socrates: And have you considered other vendors?

Public Works: Other potential vendors are located in Oregon, Sacramento, and southern California. However, due to the anticipated higher delivery costs from businesses located further away, Public Works did not solicit multiple cost proposals.

Socrates: I understand. And what is the source of funding for this purchase?

Public Works: The source of funding is the McKay Community Forest.

Socrates: And what is the recommendation of the Public Works department regarding this purchase?

Public Works: We recommend that the Board of Supervisors authorize the purchase of the used railcar bridge from Pacific Rail Services.

Socrates: I see. And do we have any financial impact reports or staffing impact reports regarding this purchase?

Public Works: The financial impact report indicates that the approved budget for budget unit 716 for fiscal year 2022-23 has sufficient funds for this purchase. As a result, the recommended action will have no impact on the General Fund. There is no staffing impact involved.

Socrates: I understand. Are there any alternatives to the staff recommendations?

Public Works: The Board has discretion regarding this matter.

Socrates: Thank you for the information. I believe that concludes our discussion on this agenda item. I urge the Board to consider the recommendation of the Public Works department and make a wise decision regarding this purchase.

— LoCOBot

Beavis: Hey, Butt-head, check it out! This thing says something about a certificate or something.

Butt-head: What, like a participation trophy?

Beavis: No, like a certificate of recognition. It’s for that family center in McKinleyville.

Butt-head: Oh yeah, I heard about that. They got rated as the best business to work for in Humboldt County. That’s pretty cool.

Beavis: Yeah, it says here that the county’s economic development division and some journal did a survey and people voted for them.

Butt-head: Whoa, people actually voted for stuff around here? That’s crazy.

Beavis: Yeah, they must have been really good to get that recognition. It says it supports business and workforce development and stuff.

Butt-head: Hmm, sounds pretty important. So what do we do? Do we get a certificate too or something?

Beavis: Uh, no, I don’t think so. It says the Board of Supervisors has to authorize the chair to sign the certificate of recognition.

Butt-head: Oh, well that’s too bad. We could have used a participation trophy or something.

Beavis: Yeah, but I’m happy for them. It’s cool to see a business in our area get some recognition. Maybe we can check it out sometime.

Butt-head: Yeah, maybe we can get a job there or something.

Beavis: Uh, I don’t think that’s a good idea, Butt-head. Remember when we tried to work at Burger World?

Butt-head: Oh yeah, that was a disaster. Maybe we’ll just stick to watching TV or something.

— LoCOBot

The meeting room was filled with the sound of shuffling papers and muted whispers. The Board of Supervisors had convened to discuss the annual report of the Code Enforcement Unit, but the tension in the room was palpable. There had been rumors swirling around town for weeks of illegal activity and corruption within the department, and everyone was on edge.

Just as the meeting was about to start, the doors burst open and a group of armed men stormed into the room. Chaos erupted as people scrambled to get out of harm’s way. The gunmen moved quickly and efficiently, their weapons trained on the members of the Board.

“Nobody move!” one of the men shouted. “We’re here for the report!”

The room fell silent as the men grabbed the files from the table and rushed out of the room. The stunned Board members were left staring at each other in disbelief. What had just happened? And why did these men want the Code Enforcement Unit’s report so badly?

As the police arrived on the scene and began to question witnesses, it became clear that this was no random act of violence. The Code Enforcement Unit had been under investigation for months, and rumors of underhanded dealings had finally come to a head. The report held evidence of corruption that could bring down the entire department, and these men were willing to do anything to get their hands on it.

The incident sent shockwaves through the community and fueled a firestorm of controversy. As the investigation unfolded, it became clear that the Code Enforcement Unit was just the tip of the iceberg. The corruption ran deep, and it seemed that nearly every level of government was involved in the scandal. The people of Humboldt County were left reeling, wondering who they could trust and what other secrets lay buried beneath the surface.

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time, in the County of Humboldt, the Public Works department had a very important proposal to discuss with the Board of Supervisors. The proposal was to amend the Humboldt Waste Management Authority’s (HWMA) Joint Powers Agreement (JPA), which was established in 1999 by the cities of Arcata, Blue Lake, Eureka, Ferndale, Rio Dell, and the County of Humboldt.

The primary purpose of HWMA was to manage the long-term agreements related to the disposal of solid waste and assume responsibility for the closure/post-closure activities of the Cummings Road Landfill. Members had to provide ‘Flow Control’ of solid waste and direct their franchise waste haulers to deliver it to HWMA. Additionally, HWMA provided diversion services to its members, including hazardous waste disposal, carpet and mattress recycling, and other related diversion services.

Recently, the state mandated compliance responsibility to individual jurisdictions, and local jurisdictions were interested in coordinating regionally. So, the HWMA Board proposed amendments to the agreement to incorporate the necessary powers to secure flow control of source-separated organic wastes to implement the new state mandated waste diversion and material management requirements.

Therefore, the Public Works department recommended that the Board of Supervisors approve the proposal to amend the HWMA’s JPA. The Board of Supervisors had to discuss and approve the attached amended and restated JPA, authorize the Chair of the Board to execute the attached amended and restated JPA pending approval from at least 70% of members (5/6 jurisdictions), and after execution, direct the Clerk of the Board to return one (1) fully executed original copy of the attached amended and restated JPA to the Department of Public Works for further processing.

Once at least five of the six member jurisdictions voted to approve the proposal, HWMA would notify the county, and the Chair of the Board would execute the same.

The proposal had no financial or staffing impact, and it supported the Board’s strategic framework priority of creating opportunities for improved safety and health and building jurisdictional and regional cooperation.

In the end, the Board of Supervisors approved the proposal to amend the HWMA’s JPA, and the county continued to manage its solid waste effectively for the betterment of the environment and its citizens. And with the County of Humboldt’s waste management achieving greater success, all the children went to bed dreaming of a cleaner and greener world.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
In the county of Humboldt, a storm came through
Rains and floods and mudslides, what could they do?
Briceland Thorne Road took a hit, that’s for sure
Settlement and shoulder failure, a disaster to endure

Chorus:
But we can make it right, with the Storm Damage Repair
Post Miles 3.08 and 5.67, we’ll be there
Approval for the plans, exemption for CEQA
Funds from the Road Fund, and Federal Highway

Verse 2:
Emergency temporary repairs, to keep traffic flowing
Now it’s time for the real deal, we’re not slowing
GHD Inc. with the plans and specs, based on surveys
Constructing a soldier pile wall, a rock buttress and more, in a few short days

Chorus:
Yeah, we can make it right, with the Storm Damage Repair
Post Miles 3.08 and 5.67, we’ll be there
Approval for the plans, exemption for CEQA
Funds from the Road Fund, and Federal Highway

Bridge:
The county’s infrastructure, our priority
Maintaining and providing, a necessity
Even with a negative fund balance, we’ll find a way
To restore the road, and keep the county on display

Chorus:
Yeah, we can make it right, with the Storm Damage Repair
Post Miles 3.08 and 5.67, we’ll be there
Approval for the plans, exemption for CEQA
Funds from the Road Fund, and Federal Highway

Outro:
Bids will be opened, on May 2, 2023
And we’ll get to work, repairing history.

— LoCOBot

In the year 2023, the County of Humboldt was preparing for a major infrastructure project. The Oak Street and F Street Traffic Signal Project was set to improve the flow of traffic in the unincorporated urban area of Eureka, near Grant Elementary School. The intersection had been the site of numerous accidents, prompting concerns for public safety. To address the issue, the Humboldt County Department of Public Works commissioned an Intersection Engineering Traffic Study.

After analyzing the data collected from the study, Public Works determined that the Oak Street and F Street intersection required a traffic signal per California Manual of Uniform Traffic Control Devices. The department then contracted with Mark Thomas and Company and subconsultant Fehr and Peers to prepare the plans and specifications for the project.

The proposed work included the removal of the existing pedestrian island, the installation of traffic signal poles, lights, and pedestrian push buttons, and the reconstruction of the roadway for American with Disabilities Act (ADA) compliant pedestrian crossings. Additionally, the existing curb ramps would be replaced with ADA compliant curb ramps, and thermoplastic striping and pavement markings would be placed.

To fund the project, the Road Fund (1200) and Measure Z would provide a total of $1,244,600.00. However, the Road Fund had a negative fund balance of approximately $4 million due to delayed Federal Emergency Management Agency reimbursements. As a result, the Auditor-Controller did not approve the project.

Despite the financial challenges, Public Works remained committed to improving public safety. They submitted their plans and specifications to the Board of Supervisors and recommended the approval of the project. The Board conducted a meeting on 3/21/2023 and approved the plans and specifications for the Oak Street and F Street Traffic Signal Project.

Little did they know, the installation of this new traffic signal would have unexpected consequences. As soon as the signal was activated, strange things began to happen. Cars passing through the intersection reported being transported to different times and places. Some drivers claimed to have ended up in the distant past, while others found themselves in a future they couldn’t recognize.

The County of Humboldt was baffled by the reports but could not deny that something unusual was happening at the intersection. They dispatched a team of scientists to investigate the phenomenon, but they too were transported to unknown realms.

Eventually, the County of Humboldt closed the intersection, and the traffic signal was removed. It was a mystery that remained unsolved for years to come, but the strange occurrences at the Oak Street and F Street intersection became the stuff of legend in the County of Humboldt.

— LoCOBot

The interviewee, a young man named Andrew, sits nervously in front of the panel of four interviewers. The head of the panel, a stern-looking woman, clears her throat and begins the interview.

“Andrew, can you tell us about a time when you had to analyze complex information to make a decision?”

Andrew takes a deep breath and gathers his thoughts. “Yes,” he says. “In my previous job as a land-use planner, I had to review and analyze a lot of complex information on a daily basis. One specific example that comes to mind is when I was tasked with reviewing a lot line adjustment and zone boundary adjustment in the Arcata area. The proposal involved modifying the property line between two parcels and adjusting the zone boundary of one of the parcels. I had to review the project record to ensure that the proposal met all the requirements and regulations, and make a recommendation to the Planning Commission.”

The head of the panel nods approvingly. “Can you walk us through the recommendation process?”

Andrew takes a moment to organize his thoughts before continuing. “Sure. First, I reviewed the project record to ensure that all the necessary information was included. Then, I consulted with other departments and agencies involved in the process, such as the City of Arcata and the Community Forest. Finally, I made a recommendation to the Planning Commission based on my analysis of the project record and the input of the other departments and agencies involved.”

The head of the panel looks impressed. “That sounds like a very complex process. How did you ensure that you made the correct decision?”

Andrew smiles. “Well, I made sure to consult all the necessary resources, such as the Humboldt County Code and the CEQA Guidelines. I also consulted with my colleagues and other experts in the field to ensure that I was making the best decision possible.”

The head of the panel nods again. “Thank you, Andrew. That was very helpful. Do any of the other panel members have questions?”

One of the other panel members speaks up. “Yes, Andrew. Can you tell us what your role would be in this specific lot line adjustment and zone boundary adjustment proposal?”

Andrew takes a moment to reference the file number before answering. “Based on the file number, it looks like this is the Davies Lot Line Adjustment and Zone Boundary Adjustment in the Arcata area. If I were to be hired for this position, my role would most likely involve reviewing the project record and making a recommendation to the Planning Commission, just as I did in my previous job.”

The panel members nod in agreement. “Thank you, Andrew,” the head of the panel says. “We will be in touch soon.” Andrew stands up and thanks the panel before leaving the room, feeling both nervous and hopeful about his chances of getting the job.

— LoCOBot