(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, they gather ‘round,
For a meeting on a day that’s goin’ down,
File number 23-1575, on the list,
Agricultural Commissioner got somethin’ to insist,

(Pre-Chorus)
They talkin’ ‘bout a pest detection contract,
With the California Department of Food and Agriculture, that’s a fact,
They wanna approve it, get it signed and sealed,
‘Cause it’s all about protectin’ the land’s yield,

(Chorus)
Funky pest detection, gonna catch ‘em all,
Makin’ sure the environment doesn’t fall,
Spongy Moth and Japanese Beetle on the list,
Humboldt County ain’t gonna let ‘em persist,

(Verse 2)
Spongy Moth from Europe, a caterpillar’s feast,
Feeds on trees and shrubs, a dangerous beast,
Defoliatin’ the trees, leavin’ ‘em weak,
Gotta detect ‘em early, stop ‘em at their peak,

Japanese Beetle, a root-munchin’ pest,
Damagin’ lawns and pastures, it’s not the best,
Feeds on plants, ornamental and agricultural,
Humboldt County ain’t gonna let it go radical,

(Pre-Chorus)
Under the direction of CDFA,
Traps will be placed, inspectin’ all the way,
From April to September, they gonna search,
Keepin’ the pests at bay, protectin’ their turf,

(Chorus)
Funky pest detection, gonna catch ‘em all,
Makin’ sure the environment doesn’t fall,
Spongy Moth and Japanese Beetle on the list,
Humboldt County ain’t gonna let ‘em persist,

(Bridge)
Financial impact, funds from the state,
All costs reimbursed, no need to debate,
Staffin’ impacted, keepin’ the program runnin’,
Enforcin’ laws and protectin’ the residents, stunnin’,

(Chorus)
Funky pest detection, gonna catch ‘em all,
Makin’ sure the environment doesn’t fall,
Spongy Moth and Japanese Beetle on the list,
Humboldt County ain’t gonna let ‘em persist,

(Outro)
So the Board of Supervisors, they gotta vote,
Approve the agreement, keep the pests afloat,
County of Humboldt, takin’ action with pride,
Protectin’ their land, funkified.

— LoCOBot

Good afternoon, esteemed members of the Board of Supervisors. Today, I am here on behalf of the Aviation department to present a compelling recommendation for the approval of a supplemental budget and the establishment of a fixed asset line. This budget is crucial for the purchase of a brand new EZ Liner Model TS-AL320 Paint Striping Machine.

The total cost for this purchase is $354,224, which was secured through funding sources such as the Aviation Enterprise Fund and the Federal Aviation Administration’s CARES Act Grant. Although the order for the machine was placed in the previous fiscal year, its delivery was delayed and only completed in the current fiscal year, hence the need for this supplemental budget approval.

By granting your approval for this budget, the Department of Aviation will be able to enhance our airfield maintenance capabilities, ensuring the safety and efficiency of our airline and general aviation partners, as well as the customers they serve. Without this investment, we risk compromising the safety of our operations and undermining the integrity of our transportation network.

Moreover, this purchase aligns with the core values outlined in your Board’s Strategic Framework. By providing and maintaining infrastructure and managing our resources to ensure sustainability of services, we can effectively improve our transportation network, making it properly-maintained, multi-modal, and energy efficient.

I must emphasize that there will be no staffing impact associated with this proposal. We have carefully analyzed the financial impact, and it has been determined that no additional burden will be placed on the General Fund. Instead, the funding for this purchase will be transferred from the Aviation Enterprise fund balance, allowing us to allocate resources appropriately.

In conclusion, I urge you to consider the importance of this supplemental budget and the request to establish a fixed asset line for the purchase of the new EZ Liner Model TS-AL320 Paint Striping Machine. Our commitment to airfield maintenance and the safety of our aviation partners relies on your support. I kindly request a 4/5 vote approval for this proposal. Thank you for your attention and consideration.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the heart of Humboldt County,
A cause that we must make known,
Human trafficking, a dark reality,
We stand united, we won’t condone.

(Chorus)
Proclaiming January twenty twenty-four,
Human Trafficking Awareness Month we declare,
Together we’ll educate, fight, and restore,
In Humboldt County, love and justice we’ll share.

(Verse 2)
Supervisor Michelle Bushnell leads the way,
Bringing awareness to this silent crime,
Soroptimist International Clubs, we will obey,
Their efforts, a beacon that truly shines.

(Chorus)
Proclaiming January twenty twenty-four,
Human Trafficking Awareness Month we declare,
Together we’ll educate, fight, and restore,
In Humboldt County, love and justice we’ll share.

(Bridge)
No financial impact, just a proclamation,
But the impact on lives is immeasurable,
We’ll create opportunities, improve the situation,
Keeping our community safe and secure.

(Verse 3)
Through education and other means,
We’ll break these chains, set victims free,
Empowering survivors, fulfilling their dreams,
Together, we’ll create a world they deserve to see.

(Chorus)
Proclaiming January twenty twenty-four,
Human Trafficking Awareness Month we declare,
Together we’ll educate, fight, and restore,
In Humboldt County, love and justice we’ll share.

(Outro)
Let the world know, our stance is clear,
No more silence, it’s time to take a stand,
In Humboldt County, we’ll persevere,
Spreading awareness, hand in hand.

— LoCOBot

(Scene: A small conference room in the County of Humboldt building. The Board of Supervisors, consisting of five members, is seated around a long table. Supervisor Rex Bohn is standing at the front of the room, addressing the board.)

Supervisor Rex Bohn: (Clears his throat) Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed members of the Board, I would like to bring your attention to File #24-146 on today’s agenda. As you can see, it is a recommendation to adjourn in memory of Wayne Maples, a beloved member of our community.

(Board members nod in acknowledgement.)

Supervisor Rex Bohn: Wayne Maples was not only an outstanding local business owner, but he contributed greatly to the betterment of Humboldt County. His dedication and commitment to this community were unmatched. Adjourning today’s meeting in his memory is a small gesture to honor his legacy and show our gratitude for his contributions.

(Board members murmur in agreement.)

Supervisor Rex Bohn: Ratifying the signatures on the Certificate of Adjournment will signify our collective support for this motion. It is important to note that there is no financial impact to this adjournment. It is purely a symbolic act of remembrance.

(Board members nod in understanding.)

Supervisor Rex Bohn: This action aligns with our Board’s strategic framework, particularly our commitment to providing community-appropriate levels of service. Wayne Maples exemplified service to our community, and it is our duty to recognize his impact.

(Supervisor Bohn retrieves the Certificate of Adjournment from his folder and raises it.)

Supervisor Rex Bohn: I now present to you the Certificate of Adjournment, which includes the signatures of all relevant parties involved. With the Board’s approval, we can ratify these signatures and adjourn this meeting in Wayne Maples’ memory.

(Board members raise their hands in agreement, signaling their approval.)

Supervisor Rex Bohn: Thank you, esteemed members of the Board, for your understanding and support. Wayne Maples’ contribution will forever be remembered. Let us now ratify the signatures on the Certificate of Adjournment in his honor.

(Board members lower their hands and proceed to sign the document. Supervisor Bohn smiles, satisfied with the unanimous support.)

Curtain falls.

— LoCOBot

Story: The Vacancy

In the year 2024, the County of Humboldt found itself facing a peculiar situation. A notice of vacancy had been posted for an at-large member on the Humboldt County Planning Commission. The term of Brian Mitchell had expired, leaving a gap in the esteemed commission. The county’s Board of Supervisors gathered for a meeting on January 30, 2024, to address this matter.

As the Clerk of the Board presented the agenda, the room hummed with anticipation. Science-fiction writers, politicians, and curious citizens filled the seats, eager to witness the decision-making process of their leaders. The recommendation put forth by the Clerk was simple: receive and file the report. The Board of Supervisors would observe the vacancy and later decide on the appointment to fill the position.

The source of funding for the Planning Commission came from the General Fund, ensuring financial stability for its operations. The per diem payment for each commissioner was set at $140 per meeting, with a cap of 10 meetings per month. Travel expenses were also covered, aligning the commission’s provisions with those of other county officers and employees.

The strategic framework of the Board emphasized the enforcement of laws and regulations to protect the residents while also providing community-appropriate levels of service. The Planning Commission, through its policies and decisions, played a crucial role in achieving these objectives. With a full membership, the commission had greater capabilities to meet the quorum requirements and effectively serve the county.

However, alternatives to the staff’s recommendations were presented. The appointment date could be changed to allow for further outreach and recruitment of qualified applicants. This suggestion aimed to ensure that the best-suited individual would be chosen for the role. Nevertheless, it was cautioned against delaying the appointment, as the Planning Commission’s active involvement in the community necessitated a full membership as soon as possible.

As the meeting progressed, the Board expressed their gratitude for the service of Brian Mitchell, the outgoing member of the Planning Commission. Mitchell had contributed significantly to the promotion of fair and ethical practices within the county. Board members acknowledged the importance of adhering to ethical guidelines and mentioned that all appointed commissioners would be required to comply with the California Fair Political Practices Form 700 and complete the AB1234 Ethics Training every two years.

With the discussion drawing to a close, the Board agreed to receive and file the report, awaiting the separate agenda item to be brought back on March 8, 2024, for the appointment consideration. The citizens and stakeholders who had attended the meeting left with a sense of anticipation, wondering who would step into the vacant position and how their decisions would shape the future of the County of Humboldt.

Little did they know that amidst their deliberations, an intergalactic traveler from a distant planet had been observing the meeting. The commission vacancy had caught their attention, and they saw an opportunity to intervene in humanity’s affairs. Knowing that the decisions made by the Planning Commission could impact the entire county, and potentially ripple outwards, the traveler decided to apply for the vacant position.

Unbeknownst to the residents of Humboldt County, their planning commission was about to gain a member with an otherworldly perspective, capable of shaping their future in more ways than they could ever imagine. The stage was set for the intermingling of human and alien ambitions, as the County of Humboldt embarked on a science-fiction journey, guided by the decisions of an unexpected member of the Planning Commission.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, a meeting took place,
On the thirtieth of January, in the year twenty-four,
The Board of Supervisors gathered around,
To discuss matters important, they were duty-bound.

(File #: 24-138)
The Clerk of the Board, she had something to say,
About letters of appreciation to convey,
To three individuals, who served with pride,
Allison Tans, Colleen Broderick, and Leonor Ramirez, side by side.

(Chorus)
Letters of appreciation, a heartfelt note,
To honor their service, with gratitude we wrote,
They’ve resigned from the Behavioral Health Board,
But their dedication and hard work won’t be ignored.

(Verse 2)
The recommendation was quite clear,
Authorize the Chair to sign the letters, my dear,
Funding from the General Fund, no worry of cost,
Just a gesture of thanks, that will not be lost.

(Discussion)
No financial impact, just a kind gesture,
To acknowledge their effort, that’s for the best, sir,
The Strategic Framework, it aligns,
With community service and support that shines.

(Chorus)
Letters of appreciation, a heartfelt note,
To honor their service, with gratitude we wrote,
They’ve resigned from the Behavioral Health Board,
But their dedication and hard work won’t be ignored.

(Bridge)
No other agencies involved in this case,
Just the Board and the individuals in this space,
Alternative options, none to suggest,
Just the letters to express our best.

(Chorus)
Letters of appreciation, a heartfelt note,
To honor their service, with gratitude we wrote,
They’ve resigned from the Behavioral Health Board,
But their dedication and hard work won’t be ignored.

(Outro)
So let’s applaud Allison, Colleen, and Leonor,
For their service and commitment, forevermore,
In the County of Humboldt, their efforts won’t cease,
Their impact on the community, a powerful piece.

(Note: This song is fictional and created for entertainment purposes based on the given information.)

— LoCOBot

The small town of Humboldt, nestled deep within the dense forests of California, was known for its picturesque beauty and tranquility. But on the evening of January 30, 2024, a sense of unease settled over the town as the Board of Supervisors gathered for their meeting.

The room was dimly lit, casting eerie shadows on the walls. The members of the board shuffled in their seats nervously, feeling a palpable tension in the air. The Clerk of the Board, a middle-aged man with tired eyes, presented the agenda for the evening.

As the members skimmed through the documents in front of them, one item caught their attention. File #: 24-155. It seemed innocuous at first glance – the approval of the Action Summary from the previous meeting. But little did they know, this seemingly routine task would unleash a horror they could never have imagined.

Without hesitation, the Board of Supervisors voted unanimously to approve the Action Summary. The Clerk of the Board hesitated for a moment, his fingers hovering over the minute book. In that moment, a chilling wind swept through the room, extinguishing the candles and plunging them into darkness.

Silence enveloped the room, broken only by the sound of shuffling papers and the faint whispers of unease. The board members strained their ears, trying to make sense of the unsettling sensation that washed over them. Suddenly, from the shadows emerged a figure, tall and gaunt, its eyes glowing with an otherworldly light.

Fear gripped the hearts of the board members as they realized they were no longer alone in the room. The figure moved gracefully, its dark cloak billowing behind it. It spoke with a voice that sent shivers down their spines, recounting their every decision made during the previous meeting.

As the figure continued to speak, the room filled with a menacing presence. The walls seemed to close in on them, the air thick and suffocating. The board members tried to escape, but found themselves trapped, their every movement hindered by an unseen force.

With every passing moment, the figure grew more powerful, its voice resonating with each word. It spoke of the consequences of their actions, the lives lost, and the darkness that would forever haunt the town of Humboldt. The members of the board screamed in terror, begging for mercy, but their cries fell on deaf ears.

As the night wore on, the figure’s grip over the board members tightened, draining their energy and hope. It reveled in their suffering, relishing in the despair it had unleashed. The once peaceful town of Humboldt was now forever cursed by the decisions made in that very room.

The morning sun broke through the darkness, illuminating the room once more. The board members lay lifeless on the floor, their faces twisted in terror. The figure had vanished, leaving no trace of its presence except for the haunting memories etched into the minds of those who had witnessed its wrath.

News of the horrifying events spread throughout the town of Humboldt, forever changing its reputation. The once lively streets now lay empty and silent, haunted by the dark shadows of the past. The Board of Supervisors, once respected and trusted, became a symbol of fear and tragedy.

And so, the town of Humboldt remained trapped in the grip of horror, forever reminded of the night that tore their peaceful existence apart. The decisions made in that fateful meeting would forever serve as a reminder of the darkness that lurked beneath the surface, waiting to consume all who dared to cross its path.

— LoCOBot

Hear ye, hear ye!

I stand before you today to bring forth important news from the County of Humboldt. This message is regarding the upcoming meeting of the Board of Supervisors on January 30, 2024.

The file number for this matter is 24-79, and it concerns the Memorandum of Understanding with First 5 Humboldt regarding the implementation of the California Department of Social Services’ Road to Resilience Partnership Program in Humboldt County.

The recommendation put forth by DHHS: Administration is as follows:

Firstly, it is recommended that the Board of Supervisors approve and authorize the Chair of the Board to execute the attached memorandum of understanding with First 5 Humboldt. This memorandum of understanding would be effective from January 30, 2024, through June 30, 2027.

Secondly, the Department of Health and Human Services Director, or a designee thereof, should be granted authorization to execute any subsequent amendments to the attached memorandum of understanding. These amendments would undergo review and approval by County Counsel, Risk Management, and the County Administrative Office.

Lastly, the Clerk of the Board is directed to return one fully executed original copy of the attached memorandum of understanding to the Department of Health and Human Services - Contract Unit for further processing.

The source of funding for this program will come from the Social Services Fund (1160).

The purpose of this memorandum of understanding is to define the roles and responsibilities of the Humboldt County Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) and the First 5 Humboldt Children and Families Commission in implementing the Road to Resilience Partnership Program. This program aims to expand services to substance use disorder impacted families participating in, or at risk of participation in, the Yurok and Hoopa Family Wellness Courts.

DHHS and First 5 Humboldt will work collaboratively to establish program referral processes, build a system of care for perinatal substance use, treatment, and prevention, and develop a public education campaign to reduce stigma around medically assisted treatment.

Therefore, it is recommended that the Board of Supervisors approve and authorize the Chair of the Board to execute the attached memorandum of understanding with First 5 Humboldt, enabling the implementation of the Road to Resilience Partnership Program. The DHHS Director or a designee should be granted authorization to execute subsequent amendments, subject to review and approval by relevant departments, to avoid unnecessary delays.

It is important to note that there are no direct costs associated with this memorandum of understanding, and it will not impact the Humboldt County General Fund. Additionally, current staffing levels will not be affected.

This recommendation aligns with the Board of Supervisors’ Strategic Framework, particularly in protecting vulnerable populations and providing community-appropriate levels of service.

There is no involvement from other agencies in this matter.

As an alternative, the Board may choose not to approve the attached memorandum of understanding. However, this option is not recommended as it would hinder the implementation of the Road to Resilience Partnership Program.

For further details, please refer to the attachments, including the Memorandum of Understanding with First 5 Humboldt Regarding Implementation of the California Department of Social Services’ Road to Resilience Partnership Program in Humboldt County.

Please take note that previous action was taken on this matter in Board Order No.: C-11 during the meeting on May 28, 2019, under File No.: 19-766.

Thank you for your attention, and may this information guide you in making informed decisions for the betterment of Humboldt County.

— LoCOBot

INT. COUNTY BOARDROOM - DAY

The Board of Supervisors sits around a large table, reviewing documents and listening intently. Supervisor JONES reads the recommendation out loud.

SUPERVISOR JONES
Authorize a temporary increase in pay for Lucas Villalpando, Eligibility Specialist III, pursuant to Section 12.4.1 of the AFSCME MOU.

Supervisor SMITH leans forward, studying the financial impact section.

SUPERVISOR SMITH
(whispering)
Over a thousand dollars? That seems excessive.

Supervisor WILSON glances at the discussion section.

SUPERVISOR WILSON
But it says the current Eligibility Supervisor is on leave. Villalpando has been assuming the supervisor’s duties since December.

Supervisor JONES looks up from the documents, addressing the board.

SUPERVISOR JONES
This increase in pay is necessary to ensure the continued smooth operation of the department. Without Vilalpando in this temporary role, the workload on the remaining staff would be overwhelming.

Supervisor BROWN leans back, appearing skeptical.

SUPERVISOR BROWN
(uncertain)
Are we certain about Villalpando’s qualifications for this temporary promotion?

DHHS ADMINISTRATOR enters the room, holding a memo.

DHHS ADMINISTRATOR
I have here a memo detailing Villalpando’s experience and qualifications. He has proven himself capable of handling the responsibilities of the supervisor position.

Supervisor BROWN takes the memo and quickly skims through it.

SUPERVISOR BROWN
(satisfied)
Alright, that seems fair.

The board members exchange nods, silently coming to a consensus.

SUPERVISOR JONES
Alright, it seems we are in agreement. Let’s proceed with the vote to authorize the temporary increase in pay for Lucas Villalpando.

They all raise their hands, voting in favor.

SUPERVISOR JONES
Motion carries. The temporary increase in pay for Villalpando is approved.

The tension in the room eases, and the board members start to relax. The DHHS Administrator collects the documents as the meeting adjourns.

FADE OUT.

— LoCOBot

Title: God’s Plan for Compensation and Justice

Introduction:
Good morning, beloved congregation! Today, I come before you with a sermon that highlights a recent decision made by the Board of Supervisors regarding salary increases and modifications in the Probation Department of our county. As a pastor, it is my duty to interpret and apply biblical principles to current events, and this situation provides an opportunity to explore God’s plan for compensation and justice.

Scripture Reading: Micah 6:8 (NIV)
“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

I. Understanding the Proposal:
First, let us review the recommendations put forth by the Board of Supervisors. The proposal includes revising the salary ranges for various classifications in the Probation Department, deactivating certain positions, and making corrections and modifications to the Comprehensive Compensation Schedule and Classification Summary.

II. Embracing Fair Compensation:
God’s word reminds us of the importance of treating our fellow human beings justly. The proposed salary increases for positions in the Probation Department reflect a commitment to fair compensation. By ensuring that these dedicated professionals receive appropriate remuneration, we demonstrate our respect for their work and acknowledge the value they bring to our community.

III. Seeking Balance and Stewardship:
While it is crucial to honor and reward those who serve in the Probation Department, it is also necessary to be wise stewards of our resources. The deactivation of certain positions, carefully selected due to long-term vacancies, enables us to offset the cost of the salary increases without compromising the department’s operations. This decision aligns with biblical principles of stewardship and responsible resource management.

IV. Pursuing Justice and Mercy:
As followers of Christ, we are called to act justly and love mercy. Supporting fair compensation is an act of justice that promotes the well-being of our community and fosters employee satisfaction and retention. Moreover, by offering reasonable wages, we demonstrate mercy and compassion to those who tirelessly serve in the Probation Department.

Conclusion:
In conclusion, the recent decision made by the Board of Supervisors to adopt salary increases, deactivate positions, and modify the Comprehensive Compensation Schedule and Classification Summary in the Probation Department is an opportunity for us to reflect upon our Christian values. Let us remember that our actions should always align with God’s principles of justice, mercy, and stewardship. As we move forward, may we continue to prioritize fair compensation, advocate for justice, and demonstrate compassion towards all those who contribute to the well-being of our community.

Let us pray:
Heavenly Father, we thank you for guiding our leaders to make decisions that align with your principles of justice and fairness. May we always strive to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with you. Bless the dedicated individuals serving in the Probation Department, and may they find fulfillment and purpose in their work. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.

— LoCOBot

📢THREAD📢

🏛️ A meeting of the Board of Supervisors for the County of Humboldt is scheduled for 1/30/2024. The agenda includes a discussion on the modification of position allocation for the Library.

📄File #: 24-37

📝The recommendation is to deallocate 1.0 Full-Time Equivalent (FTE) Executive Secretary and allocate 1.0 FTE Administrative Services Officer.

💼The allocation of 1.0 FTE Administrative Services Officer (class 0776, salary range 463) is proposed to strengthen the library’s efforts in marketing, negotiations, financial management, facilities management, IT management, and more.

🔍The Administrative Services Officer will enhance the library’s capacity to manage projects, administer grants, analyze data, and create presentations and press releases for media.

💰The financial impact of this modification includes an estimated salary and benefits increase of $315. However, there are sufficient funds in the Library budget to cover this increase due to vacancies.

👥The staffing impact of this modification will improve the leadership and administration structure at the library, diversify programs and services, and enhance communication and data analysis capabilities.

🎯This action supports the Board’s Strategic Framework in providing infrastructure, community-appropriate levels of service, and attracting and retaining the best county employees.

📎No other agency involvement is mentioned.

❌The alternatives to staff recommendations are not recommended, as they would not provide the necessary capacity for library development.

📂No attachments are included in the agenda.

🔙No previous action or referral is mentioned.

Stay tuned for updates from the meeting! #HumboldtCountyBoardofSupervisors #LibraryAllocationModification 🌲📚

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In Humboldt County, by the sea,
The Board of Supervisors convened you see,
A request for qualifications on this day,
For construction management in an on-call way.

(Chorus)
Roll the waves, hear the cry,
We set sail under the Humboldt sky,
Seeking consultants to lend a hand,
On the road and bridge projects we have planned.

(Verse 2)
Limited staffing, so we must rely,
On private firms to comply,
With laws and regulations, both near and far,
To ensure our projects meet every standard.

(Chorus)
Roll the waves, hear the cry,
We set sail under the Humboldt sky,
Seeking consultants to lend a hand,
On the road and bridge projects we have planned.

(Verse 3)
Five years of construction lie ahead,
With roadways and bridges to be spread,
An RFQ prepared to find the best,
To manage these projects with all the rest.

(Chorus)
Roll the waves, hear the cry,
We set sail under the Humboldt sky,
Seeking consultants to lend a hand,
On the road and bridge projects we have planned.

(Verse 4)
Once selected, a consultant will be tasked,
To provide management when it’s asked,
Detailed scopes of services they shall provide,
Within task orders, they’ll abide.

(Chorus)
Roll the waves, hear the cry,
We set sail under the Humboldt sky,
Seeking consultants to lend a hand,
On the road and bridge projects we have planned.

(Verse 5)
Funds allocated, budgets in place,
For the construction management race,
Federal and state, they’ll be there too,
To support these projects in all they do.

(Chorus)
Roll the waves, hear the cry,
We set sail under the Humboldt sky,
Seeking consultants to lend a hand,
On the road and bridge projects we have planned.

(Outro)
So now we ask the Board’s approval,
To advertise and distribute to the fullest,
This RFQ for on-call services so grand,
To bring infrastructure improvements to our land.

— LoCOBot

“I tell ya, I read this agenda for the County of Humboldt meeting and I couldn’t stop yawning. It was all about some road vacation and property merging. I mean, who cares about all that paperwork? I vacationed once and all I got was a lousy sunburn!”

— LoCOBot

In Humboldt County, on this winter’s day
A meeting is convened, the date known well
For matters of administration stay
To guide the future, what the Board will tell

The Public Works, with recommendations true
Presents a resolution for consent
To sign agreements that are overdue
To seek funding, and projects thus augment

The funds in question, roads funds they claim
With no impact financial, it is said
The Board must act, and sign this with no shame
To sustain services, infrastructure’s spread

Alternative not recommended, they plea
To reject the agreement, funding will flee

— LoCOBot

Hey there, Board of Supervisors! It’s your favorite Sheriff here, ready to lay down some truth for ya. We got ourselves a little situation on our hands. Turns out, for the past four years, my Humboldt County Sheriff’s Office has been strugglin’ to keep things running smoothly. It’s been a real battle, let me tell ya.

See, we’ve been dealin’ with a pesky budget gap that’s been holdin’ us back. Rising costs of insurance, worker’s comp, and other sneaky charges from the county have been eatin’ away at our funds. And let’s not forget about the ol’ inflation of services and supplies costs. It’s been tough, but we’ve managed so far.

But then, the Board of Supervisors decided to dish out some fat salary increases to all county staff. Now, normally that’s a good thing, right? Well, not for us. Turns out, those salary savings we were supposed to have were already used up to cover all the extra expenses we’ve been dealin’ with. So thanks for cuttin’ our budget, guys. Real classy move.

Now, we’re starin’ down an $8.2 million budget gap for the next fiscal year. We’ve already had to unfund 28 vacant positions just to keep our heads above water. But we ain’t stoppin’ there. No, we need $5.5 million in Additional Request for General Fund Allocation just to avoid unfunding another 41 positions, shuttin’ down programs, and closin’ the Willow Creek Station. It’s a dire situation, my friends.

Look, I get it. Times are tough, and budgets are tight. But here’s the deal: my team is already stretched thin. We’re workin’ at maximum capacity, bustin’ our butts to keep this county safe. We’ve been recruitin’ like crazy to fill all our vacancies and keep up with the demand. But if we can’t get an exception to this hiring freeze, we’re in trouble.

So here’s what we’re askin’ for: approve an exception to the hiring freeze for those critical law enforcement positions we listed earlier. We’re talkin’ about Correctional Deputies, Sheriff Deputies, Emergency Communications Dispatchers, and more. We need these positions filled ASAP, and we’re willin’ to fund ‘em through the General Fund, Additional Request for General Fund Allocation, ARPA, Measure Z, or Grants. Whatever it takes to keep this boat afloat.

Now, I know you all have a tough decision to make. But let me remind you of the consequences if you don’t approve this exception. More unfunded positions, closed stations, and lost programs. We can’t afford any more setbacks, folks. So, do the right thing. Approve this exception and let us do what we do best – protect and serve.

That’s all I got to say. The choice is yours, Board of Supervisors. Make the right move.

— LoCOBot

Socrates: Thank you for convening this meeting, Board of Supervisors. Today we will discuss the 2024 Legislative Platform and Direct Spending Requests for Humboldt County.

Board Member 1: Thank you, Socrates. I see that the recommendation is for the Board of Supervisors to provide input and direction regarding the proposed state and federal legislative platforms for 2024.

Socrates: That is correct. It is important for the Board to provide their input and direction on these platforms to ensure that they align with the county’s needs and priorities.

Board Member 2: I also noticed that the recommendation includes prioritizing congressional and state direct funding requests. Could you provide more information on this?

Socrates: Certainly. The county has prepared three directed funding requests, known as earmarks, for state and congressional representatives to consider. These requests must be prioritized by the Board, and only the proposals that are best positioned for speedy execution should be submitted. The requests are for Redwood Drive, Garberville Complete Streets, Scenic Drive, and the Public Health Lab. The financial impact of these requests would depend on their approval.

Board Member 3: Thank you for explaining that. I want to make sure I understand the overall process. Is the legislative platform being presented today the result of collaborative work between departments, the County Administrative Office, and advocacy groups?

Socrates: Yes, that is correct. The platforms being presented have been developed collaboratively over the course of four months. Departments, the County Administrative Office, Shaw/Yoder/Antwih/Schmelzer/Lange (SYASL), and Paragon Government Relations have all been involved in the development of these platforms. They have also taken into consideration the Board’s Strategic Priority Framework.

Board Member 1: It’s good to hear that the platforms have been developed in collaboration with various stakeholders. I also noticed that this year’s platform is shorter than previous years. Can you explain why that is?

Socrates: Certainly. This year’s platform has been pared down in terms of content and reorganized to align more cohesively with the policy areas used by the California State Association of Counties (CSAC). The aim is to make the document more readable and digestible, focusing on the support/oppose positions for each issue, which are backed by background documents.

Board Member 2: Thank you for providing that context. I am now curious about the process for advocating for the legislative platform. Could you explain how that works?

Socrates: Of course. If the Board adopts the proposed legislative platforms, the County Administrative Officer will submit the final version to state and federal officials, county-related associations, and contractors, as appropriate. The County Administrative Officer will also be authorized and directed to advocate as needed to support the county’s legislative platform and any resolutions adopted by the Board during 2024.

Board Member 3: That clarifies the process for me. I appreciate your thorough explanation, Socrates. Are there any further questions or clarifications needed before we move forward with the recommendation?

(Board Members confer and discuss)
Board Member 1: I believe we have a clear understanding of the recommendation and the process involved. I am prepared to move forward with the recommended actions.

Board Member 2: I agree. I believe the proposed legislative platforms and the prioritized funding requests reflect our county’s needs and priorities.

Board Member 3: I concur. It seems that a lot of thought and collaboration has gone into the development of these platforms, and I trust the expertise of the County Administrative Office, SYASL, and Paragon in advocating on behalf of the county.

Socrates: Thank you for your input, Board of Supervisors. It appears that there is consensus to move forward with the recommended actions. Is there a motion to approve the 2024 Legislative Platform and Direct Spending Requests as proposed?

(Board Members make a motion and vote)
Socrates: The motion has been approved. Thank you for your attention and participation in this meeting.

— LoCOBot

Pokemon Duel: “The Battle for Short-Term Rental Ordinance”

Player 1: Squirtle
Player 2: Charizard

The battle takes place in the County of Humboldt, where the Board of Supervisors is meeting to discuss the Inland and Coastal Zone Short-Term Rental Ordinance. Squirtle represents the Planning and Building Department, supporting the adoption of the ordinance, while Charizard represents a concerned citizen, advocating against it.

Round 1:
-Squirtle starts by using “Water Gun” to present the staff report and recommendation to the Board of Supervisors. The attack hits Charizard, who struggles to defend against the convincing arguments.

Round 2:
-Charizard retaliates with “Flamethrower,” expressing concerns about the potential impact of short-term rentals on housing stock and neighborhood disruption. The attack lands, creating doubt among the Board members and causing them to reconsider.

Round 3:
-Squirtle counters with “Bubble Beam,” addressing the additional concerns raised by Charizard and the community. Squirtle explains how the ordinance maintains a balance between regulating STRs and supporting the tourism industry. The attack successfully dispels some of Charizard’s doubts.

Round 4:
-Charizard uses “Dragon Claw” to question the inclusion of the Big Lagoon Subdivision within the cap for the Coastal STRO. Charizard argues that this area would be heavily impacted by STRs and requests its exclusion. The attack hits Squirtle hard, and the Board members show hesitation.

Round 5:
-Squirtle launches a powerful “Hydro Pump,” emphasizing that the ordinance has considered the concerns of the Big Lagoon Subdivision and other community plan areas. Squirtle highlights the importance of balancing the needs of different communities in the County. The attack impresses the Board members and re-establishes Squirtle’s position.

Round 6:
-Charizard attempts to recover with “Fire Spin,” suggesting alternative limitations on STRs in different areas. However, the attack fails to sway the Board members, who believe that the current ordinance adequately addresses the concerns of various communities.

Round 7:
-Squirtle finishes the battle with a final “Aqua Tail,” reinforcing the financial and strategic benefits of adopting the Short-Term Rental Ordinance. The attack convinces the Board members that the ordinance aligns with their goals and supports the overall development of the County.

The battle concludes with the Board of Supervisors voting in favor of adopting the Inland and Coastal Zone Short-Term Rental Ordinance, endorsing the staff recommendations presented by Squirtle. The County of Humboldt takes a step forward in regulating STRs and protecting housing stock while promoting responsible tourism.

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, on a meeting day,
January 30th, in the year of 2024, they say.
There was talk about a resolution to be made,
For the temporary employment of a dedicated aid.

The Board of Supervisors, they gathered near,
From the Libraries department, a recommendation to hear.
They needed a Library Operations Manager, you see,
To ensure continuity of services and the library’s glee.

They spoke of a retired annuitant named Ronda,
Who had previously returned as an Extra Help donor.
But now they needed her as an interim appointment,
While they searched for a permanent enjoyment.

The Financial Impact, they discussed with care,
Budgeted expenses and funding sources to share.
The Library had enough funds to cover the cost,
Approximately $4,572, not to be lost.

This action supported the Strategic Framework in place,
Providing and maintaining infrastructure’s embrace.
Attracting and retaining the best county employees was key,
In the Board’s plan, for everyone to see.

Human Resources and Payroll were involved,
In making sure the process was resolved.
There were alternatives, but the staff’s recommendation stood,
To approve the proposal, as it would do good.

Attachments were provided for reference and review,
Previous actions were mentioned, for clarity too.
And so, in the County of Humboldt, it was agreed,
To hire Ronda Wittenberg, a retired annuitant indeed.

With a 4/5th vote, the resolution was passed,
Ensuring the library’s services would last.
And the nursery rhyme comes to an end,
With the County of Humboldt’s story to comprehend.

— LoCOBot

Title: Shadows of Suspicion

Synopsis:
In the quiet County of Humboldt, a seemingly routine ordinance amendment sets off a chain of events that leads to a complex web of deceit, betrayal, and murder. As the Public Works department introduces an ordinance to amend traffic regulations, Detective Sarah Morgan finds herself embroiled in a tangled mystery that threatens to unravel the very fabric of the community. With the clock ticking and the stakes getting higher, Detective Morgan must navigate through a web of suspects, hidden agendas, and long-buried secrets to uncover the truth before it’s too late.

Chapter 1: The Intermingling Shadows
Detective Sarah Morgan attends the Board of Supervisors meeting where the introduction of the traffic ordinance catches her attention. Intrigued by the potential implications it may have, she delves deeper into the proposed changes and discovers discrepancies that raise suspicions.

Chapter 2: Uncovering Clues
Sarah starts her investigation by studying the history of the roads mentioned in the ordinance. She discovers past incidents, connections between influential figures, and unresolved conflicts. As she digs deeper, she uncovers hidden motives and dark secrets that may provide insight into what really happened.

Chapter 3: The Trail of Deception
As Sarah follows the trail of deception, she encounters a wide range of characters, each with their own secrets and motives. From corrupt local officials to resentful residents, she unravels the tangled relationships between them, slowly inching closer to the truth.

Chapter 4: Unexpected Plot Twists
Sarah’s investigation takes unexpected turns as she uncovers unexpected alliances, double-crosses, and personal vendettas. The boundaries between right and wrong blur as she realizes that the truth may not be as black and white as it seems.

Chapter 5: Gathering Evidence
Armed with new evidence, Sarah begins to piece together the puzzle. With the help of forensics, witnesses, and her own instincts, she narrows down her list of suspects and motives, inching ever closer to the truth.

Chapter 6: The Final Confrontation
As Sarah closes in on the truth, she finds herself pushed to her limits. Betrayals and unexpected allies emerge, leading to a tense climax where she confronts the mastermind behind the tangled web of deception.

Chapter 7: Resolving the Past
With the mastermind revealed, Sarah unveils the mysteries and resolves the long-standing conflicts that led to the complications in the traffic ordinance. As she brings justice to the guilty parties, she also brings a sense of closure and peace to the community.

Epilogue: The Road to Justice
The County of Humboldt is forever changed by the events surrounding the ordinance amendment. As the community heals and moves forward, Sarah finds solace in having unearthed the truth. However, she also realizes that the shadows of suspicion always linger, ready to cast their dark presence once more.

(Note: This outline provides a general overview of the detective novel. The actual novel would expand on these ideas, develop the characters, and incorporate additional subplots and twists.)

— LoCOBot

Captain James T. Kirk sat in his ready room aboard the USS Enterprise, carefully reviewing the briefing document that had just been transmitted from the County of Humboldt on Earth. The Eel-Russian River Commission and the Potter Valley Hydroelectric Project were subjects far from the usual adventures of the starship crew, but Kirk knew the importance of understanding and protecting natural resources.

“Mr. Spock, have you had a chance to review this report?” Kirk asked, looking up from his desk.

Spock, standing by the wall-mounted monitor, nodded. “Yes, Captain. It appears that the Eel-Russian River Commission is seeking to decommission the Potter Valley Hydroelectric Project and establish a new water diversion facility.”

Kirk tapped his fingers on the desk, deep in thought. “The Eel River is a vital resource, Spock. It supports a diverse ecosystem and provides essential water supply and habitat for various species. We cannot simply stand by and allow it to be degraded.”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “Indeed, Captain. It seems that the decommissioning of the Potter Valley project is a step in the right direction. The proposed New Eel-Russian Facility, with its focus on restoration and equitable water diversions, aligns with the principles of sustainability and responsible resource management.”

Kirk sighed, leaning back in his chair. “But it’s not enough, Spock. We need to ensure that the interests of all stakeholders are considered and that the ecological health of the Eel River is safeguarded. This is where we come in as the USS Enterprise.”

Spock tilted his head. “Captain, it is highly irregular for a starship to involve itself in matters of environmental policy on a single planet.”

Kirk grinned mischievously. “Spock, we have encountered countless civilizations across the galaxy, each with their own unique challenges. It is our duty as members of Starfleet to help whenever we can. And in this case, the fate of the Eel River and its surrounding communities is at stake.”

Spock considered Kirk’s words for a moment before nodding in agreement. “You make a valid point, Captain. The Eel River is not just a local concern; it is part of a larger interconnected ecosystem. By assisting the Eel-Russian River ad hoc committee, we could contribute our expertise in resource management and mediation.”

Kirk stood up, energized by the prospect. “Exactly, Spock. We’ll work with the committee, share our knowledge, and help find a solution that benefits both the Eel and Russian Rivers. I’ll assemble a team and prepare for a diplomatic mission to Humboldt County.”

As Kirk and Spock stepped out of the ready room, ready to face this new challenge, the crew of the USS Enterprise braced themselves for an unprecedented adventure on Earth. The fate of the Eel River hung in the balance, but with the combined efforts of Starfleet and the local communities, a sustainable future was within reach.

— LoCOBot

Title: Love on the River

Chapter 1: A Chance Encounter

Sophia Harper had always enjoyed living a quiet life in the County of Humboldt. As the Clerk of the Board, she was accustomed to the mundane responsibilities that came with her position. Her days were filled with paperwork, agendas, and appointments. Little did she know that her life was about to take an unexpected turn.

It was the morning of January 30, 2024, and the Board of Supervisors meeting was about to begin. Sophia entered the boardroom, ready to present the recommendations for various boards, commissions, and committees for the upcoming year. As she walked towards her usual spot, she noticed a new face among the supervisors.

His name was Ethan Thompson. Tall and handsome, with piercing blue eyes and a warm smile, he stood out from the rest of the board members. Sophia couldn’t help but be drawn to him. Little did she know that their paths were about to become intertwined.

Chapter 2: The Eel Russian River Commission

As the meeting commenced, the discussion turned to the Eel Russian River Commission. Sophia listened attentively as the board members debated the formation and role of the commission. Supervisor Bohn was appointed as the member, with Supervisor Bushnell as the alternate.

Feeling a strong connection to the Eel Russian River and sensing an opportunity to work closely with Ethan, Sophia decided to take matters into her own hands. After the meeting, she approached Ethan and suggested that they do further research on the commission together. Much to her delight, Ethan agreed, unaware of the spark that had ignited between them.

Chapter 3: Uncovering the Truth

Sophia and Ethan spent countless hours researching the Eel Russian River Commission. As they delved deeper into its purpose and history, they discovered a shared passion for conservation and the environment. Along the way, they grew closer, their hearts opening to one another.

However, their journey was not without its challenges. As they continued their research, they stumbled upon unsettling information about the commission’s previous members. Dark secrets and hidden agendas threatened to undermine everything they had worked for.

Chapter 4: Love against the Odds

Determined to confront the truth, Sophia and Ethan embarked on a mission to uncover the mysteries surrounding the commission. As they faced countless obstacles and resistance from those involved, their love for each other only grew stronger.

United in their pursuit of justice and preservation, Sophia and Ethan fought against corruption, while navigating the complexities of their blossoming romance. Together, they challenged the status quo and stood up for what they believed in, refusing to let their love be overshadowed.

Chapter 5: A Bright Future

In the end, Sophia and Ethan triumphed over adversity. The truth behind the Eel Russian River Commission was exposed, and justice prevailed. Their efforts not only protected the river and its wildlife but also brought them closer than ever before.

As their term on the commission came to an end, Sophia and Ethan realized that their connection extended beyond the confines of their professional lives. Their love had transcended boundaries, proving that sometimes, the most unexpected encounters could turn into a beautiful romance.

With the County of Humboldt as their backdrop and their shared passion for the environment as their guide, Sophia and Ethan embarked on a new chapter of their lives together, ready to face any challenges that came their way, hand in hand.

And so, their love story continued, forever entwined with the rivers that brought them together.

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time in the County of Humboldt, there was a group of supervisors who gathered together for a very important meeting. The date was January 30, 2024, and they had a very special agenda to discuss - amendments and updates to the Protocol for Board of Supervisor Appointments.

The meeting began with the Clerk of the Board presenting their recommendations to the supervisors. They suggested that the board review and approve the attached protocol for Board of Supervisor Appointments. They also advised the board to review the current list of Humboldt County Board Appointed Committees, Commissions, and Boards for the year 2023, and make any necessary changes.

The Clerk of the Board also asked the supervisors to approve the updated lists of Committees, Commissions, and Boards exempt from the Appointment Protocol. They proposed updates to the formats for Board Member Notification of Appointment, Notice of Vacancy, and Consideration of At-Large Appointments.

The funding for these appointments would come from the General Fund. The Clerk of the Board explained to the supervisors that there are two annual lists of Committees, Commissions, and Boards. One is for the appointments made by the supervisors themselves, and the other is for appointments made by the board as a whole.

The Clerk of the Board’s office recommended that staff from Economic Development present an update on Project Trellis, a committee that had been put on hold due to the suspension of the Measure S taxes. However, the rest of the list was consistent with the previous year, with no new additions.

The supervisors listened carefully to the Clerk of the Board’s recommendations and engaged in a thoughtful discussion. They considered the financial impact of updating the protocol and how it aligned with their strategic framework of fostering transparent and accessible services.

After much deliberation, the supervisors decided to approve all of the recommended amendments and updates to the protocol. They understood the importance of transparency and opportunity for both themselves and the applicants.

And so, the County of Humboldt continued its commitment to fair and effective appointments to Committees, Commissions, and Boards. The citizens of Humboldt County could rest easy knowing that their supervisors were dedicated to serving them and making thoughtful decisions for the betterment of their community.

The end.

— LoCOBot