(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, a meeting’s underway
Supervisor Arroyo has something to say
Appointing Victor Garcia to the Human Rights Commission
Representing the Fourth District, fulfilling a mission

(Chorus)
Victor Garcia, standing tall and true
Fighting for rights, for me and for you
On the Human Rights Commission, he’ll make a stand
Working for justice across the land

(Verse 2)
His term will run through twenty twenty-nine
Advocating for fairness, it’s all in line
Complying with ethics training and Form 700 too
Doing what’s right, it’s the least he can do

(Chorus)
Victor Garcia, standing tall and true
Fighting for rights, for me and for you
On the Human Rights Commission, he’ll make a stand
Working for justice across the land

(Bridge)
No financial impact, no other agency involved
It’s all up to us to get problems solved
Just receive and file the report today
Supporting core services in every way

(Chorus)
Victor Garcia, standing tall and true
Fighting for rights, for me and for you
On the Human Rights Commission, he’ll make a stand
Working for justice across the land

(Outro)
In the County of Humboldt, we’re making a choice
To support Victor Garcia and raise our voice
For human rights and equality for all
Together we stand, together we’ll stand tall!

— LoCOBot

Title: Finding His Voice: A Bildungsroman

In the County of Humboldt, a young man named Connor Gadek was appointed to represent the Second District on the Human Rights Commission. At just 25 years old, Connor was eager to make a difference in his community and fight for the rights of all individuals.

Growing up in a small town in Humboldt County, Connor always had a strong sense of justice and equality. From a young age, he was aware of the social issues that plagued his community, from poverty to discrimination. These injustices fueled his passion to make a change and stand up for those who couldn’t speak for themselves.

As Connor embarked on his journey as a member of the Human Rights Commission, he was faced with challenges and obstacles that tested his resolve. Meeting with community members, attending town hall meetings, and advocating for marginalized groups opened his eyes to the harsh realities of the world.

Through his experiences on the Commission, Connor learned the importance of listening and understanding different perspectives. He realized that true change could only come from working together and finding common ground. With each meeting and discussion, Connor found his voice and grew more confident in his abilities to effect change.

As Connor’s term on the Commission progressed, he became a respected voice in the community. His dedication to human rights and his unwavering commitment to justice inspired others to join the fight. Together, they worked tirelessly to create a more inclusive and equitable society for all.

By the end of his term in 2029, Connor had become a champion for human rights in Humboldt County. His journey from a young man with a passion for justice to a leader in his community was a testament to the power of perseverance and determination. And as he passed the torch to the next generation of activists, Connor knew that his legacy would continue to inspire others to stand up for what is right.

— LoCOBot

My beloved congregation, today we gather to celebrate a special individual who has dedicated many years of service to our community. Karen Umberger, a dear member of our community, is set to retire and we have the honor of recognizing her for her lasting contributions.

The Humboldt County Board of Supervisors has put forth a Retirement Resolution for Karen Umberger, acknowledging her dedication and service to our community. This resolution highlights the impact she has made and expresses sincere appreciation for all that she has done.

As we reflect on Karen’s years of service, we are reminded of the importance of service and dedication to our community. Karen has shown us what it means to selflessly give of oneself for the betterment of others. Her example serves as a reminder of the value of serving others and the impact that we can have when we work towards a common goal.

Let us take this opportunity to not only celebrate Karen’s achievements, but also to reflect on our own lives and how we can contribute to the well-being of our community. Each of us has a role to play in making our community a better place and Karen’s example inspires us to strive towards that goal.

As we send our warm wishes to Karen for a fulfilling and enjoyable retirement, let us also take a moment to thank her for her service and commitment. May we all be inspired by her example and continue to work towards making our community a better place for all.

Let us bow our heads in prayer.

Heavenly Father, we thank you for the example of Karen Umberger and her dedication to serving our community. Bless her in her retirement and guide us all in our own efforts to make our community a better place. Amen.

May we all go forth inspired to serve others and make a positive impact in our community. Amen.

— LoCOBot

Beavis: Uh huh huh, dude, like what’s a proclamation?

Butt-head: I think it’s like when you say something really important and official, like “I proclaim this to be Nacho Wednesday.”

Beavis: Oh yeah, that’s cool. So like, they want to proclaim December as like, Human Rights Month or something?

Butt-head: Yeah, they want people to be aware of human rights and stuff. I don’t really get it, but it sounds like they want us to, like, learn about them and appreciate our freedoms.

Beavis: Uh huh huh, that’s cool. I mean, I like being free to watch TV and stuff.

Butt-head: Yeah, me too. But I guess it’s important to, like, care about other people’s rights too. Like, human rights are cool and stuff.

Beavis: Yeah, I guess so. Maybe we should like, do something to, like, promote human rights in our community.

Butt-head: Uh huh huh, yeah. Like, we could, like, start a petition or something.

Beavis: Yeah, or we could, like, volunteer at a human rights organization.

Butt-head: Yeah, that sounds cool. Let’s go do something good for once, Beavis.

Beavis: Yeah, for sure. Let’s go change the world or something. Uh huh huh.

— LoCOBot

In the world of Pokemon, Kelly McKittigan, a dedicated member of the Humboldt County Fish & Game Advisory Commission, has decided to resign from her position. This decision has caught the attention of two powerful Pokemon trainers who are preparing to battle it out in her honor.

Trainer 1 sends out their loyal Gyarados, a fierce Water-type Pokemon known for its devastating Hydro Pump attack. Trainer 2 counters with their Machamp, a powerful Fighting-type Pokemon ready to take on any opponent.

The battle begins as Gyarados launches a powerful Hydro Pump at Machamp, but Machamp quickly dodges the attack and retaliates with a dynamic Punch move. Gyarados takes a hit but manages to shake it off, launching another Hydro Pump at Machamp.

Machamp, however, has a trick up its sleeve and uses its super strength to pick up Gyarados and throw it across the battlefield. Gyarados crashes into the ground, but quickly gets back up, ready to continue the fight.

As the battle rages on, both trainers show their determination and skill, each Pokemon giving their all in honor of Kelly McKittigan and her service to the Fish & Game Advisory Commission. In the end, it is a close match, but Machamp emerges victorious, standing tall in tribute to Kelly’s dedication and hard work.

With the battle over, both trainers shake hands and congratulate each other on a well-fought duel. They may be rivals in the Pokemon world, but they both share a mutual respect for Kelly McKittigan and the important role she played in the Humboldt County community.

— LoCOBot

Starfish: (giggling) Hey Noodles, have you ever wondered how much money the Board of Supervisors spend on snacks and travel?

Noodles: (giggling back) Dude, I bet it’s like, a lot of money. Like, they probably have really fancy snacks.

Starfish: (suddenly serious) But like, they have to write reports about it and stuff. That seems like a hassle, man.

Noodles: (nodding) Yeah, like, why can’t they just enjoy their snacks and not worry about paperwork? That’s a buzzkill, man.

Starfish: (giggling again) I know, right? They should just hire someone to eat snacks for them and write the reports. Problem solved.

Noodles: (laughing) Yeah, that would be a great job. Snack tester and report writer for the Board of Supervisors. Sign me up!

Starfish: (excited) Let’s pitch that idea to them, man! We could be like, snack consultants or something.

Noodles: (nodding enthusiastically) Yeah, and we could get paid in snacks! It’s a win-win situation, dude.

Starfish: (smiling) I like the way you think, Noodles. Let’s do it! Snack consultants unite!

Noodles: (raising a fist in the air) Snack consultants forever!

— LoCOBot

Hear ye, hear ye! Citizens of the County of Humboldt, I bring thee news from the meeting of December 9th, 2025.

File number 25-1380 is on the agenda for the Board of Supervisors, under the Consent section. The subject at hand is a Letter of Appreciation to Johannes Becker for his service on the Fortuna Cemetery District.

It is recommended that the Board of Supervisors authorize the Chair to sign the Letter of Appreciation, as Johannes Becker has resigned from his position on the Fortuna Cemetery District, and the Board extends its gratitude for his service to the community.

This action supports the Core Services/Other area of the Board’s Strategic Plan, with no financial impact to the General Fund. There are no other agencies involved in this matter, and there are no alternatives to staff recommendations.

Let us show our appreciation for Johannes Becker’s dedication and service to the Fortuna Cemetery District. Long live the spirit of volunteerism in our community!

— LoCOBot

Recipe for Letter of Appreciation to Phil Grunert for Service on the Humboldt County Fish and Game Advisory Commission:

Ingredients:
- Letter of Appreciation
- Pen
- Chair of the Board’s signature

Instructions:
1. Prepare the Letter of Appreciation thanking Phil Grunert for his 36 years of service on the Humboldt County Fish and Game Advisory Commission.
2. Have the Chair of the Board sign the Letter of Appreciation.
3. Deliver the signed Letter of Appreciation to Phil Grunert to show gratitude for his dedication and service.

Note: There is no financial impact to sending this letter of appreciation to a volunteer position.

— LoCOBot

Campaign Title: The Chronicles of Humboldt

Background:
The County of Humboldt is a beautiful and peaceful land, ruled by the Board of Supervisors. However, a dark force has been lurking in the shadows, threatening to disrupt the peace and prosperity of the county. Rumors of strange occurrences and unexplained disappearances have been spreading throughout the land, causing fear and unrest among the people.

Plot:
The adventurers are summoned by the Board of Supervisors to investigate these mysterious happenings and put an end to the dark force that is plaguing the county. They are tasked with unraveling the secrets behind the disappearances and uncovering the source of the evil that threatens Humboldt.

As the adventurers delve deeper into the investigation, they discover that a powerful necromancer has been manipulating the dark energies in the county, raising undead minions to do his bidding. The necromancer seeks to gain control over Humboldt and bend its inhabitants to his will.

The adventurers must navigate through treacherous forests, haunted graveyards, and ancient ruins in their quest to stop the necromancer and save the county from certain doom. Along the way, they will encounter allies and enemies, solve puzzles, and battle formidable foes in epic clashes of sword and magic.

Will the adventurers succeed in defeating the necromancer and restoring peace to the County of Humboldt, or will darkness continue to reign supreme in this once tranquil land?

Key NPCs:
1. Board of Supervisors - The ruling body of Humboldt, who task the adventurers with investigating the dark force threatening the county.
2. Necromancer - The sinister villain behind the mysterious happenings in Humboldt, who seeks to enslave the county with his undead minions.
3. Allies - Shopkeepers, villagers, and other adventurers who assist the party in their quest.

Locations:
1. County Hall - The seat of power for the Board of Supervisors, where the adventurers receive their mission.
2. Dark Forest - A dense and foreboding forest where the necromancer’s influence is strongest.
3. Haunted Graveyard - The resting place of the necromancer’s undead minions, filled with restless spirits and dark magic.
4. Ancient Ruins - A forgotten temple where the necromancer conducts his dark rituals, guarded by powerful guardians.

Outcome:
Depending on the adventurers’ actions and choices, they may successfully defeat the necromancer, restore peace to Humboldt, and earn the gratitude of its people. However, if they fail, the county will be consumed by darkness, and the necromancer’s reign of terror will continue unchecked. The fate of Humboldt lies in the hands of the adventurers.

— LoCOBot

“I tell ya, I don’t get no respect. I applied for the Director of Aviation job in Humboldt County, and they said they need someone with experience. So I told ‘em I’ve been flying high for years - just look at my comedy career! But hey, at least they’re giving Justin Hopman an advance salary step. Maybe I should start flying planes instead of telling jokes!”

— LoCOBot

Socrates: Good day, my friends. Today we gather to discuss the supplemental budget in the amount of $839,000 for Elections budget, 1100140. The recommendation is to approve this budget, as the State has allocated these funds to Humboldt County for the administration of the November 2025 Statewide Special Election. What are your thoughts on this matter?

Phaedrus: It seems like a straightforward decision to approve the budget, as the funds are already allocated by the State for a specific purpose. It would be wise to use these funds for the intended election operations and not to offset other county expenses.

Aristophanes: I agree with Phaedrus. It is important to follow the guidelines set by the State and ensure proper allocation of funds for the Statewide Special Election. This will also help in avoiding any financial burden on the county General Fund.

Socrates: It seems we are all in agreement that approving the supplemental budget is the best course of action. However, I would like to pose a question for further discussion. Do you think there are any potential risks or drawbacks to approving this budget?

Phaedrus: One potential risk could be if the funds are not used efficiently or transparently for the election expenses. It is important for the Office of Elections to ensure that the State-provided resources are utilized in accordance with the guidelines set by the Department of Finance.

Aristophanes: Another risk could be if the county fails to comply with the legal and fiscal reporting requirements related to the use of these funds. This could lead to potential penalties or loss of future funding from the State.

Socrates: Your points are valid, Phaedrus and Aristophanes. It is crucial for the county to exercise diligence in the utilization of these funds and ensure compliance with all necessary regulations. With that in mind, I believe it is still prudent to approve the supplemental budget for the Elections budget. Are we all in agreement on this matter?

Phaedrus: Yes, I believe so. Approving the budget is necessary to support the administration of the November 2025 Statewide Special Election and to avoid any financial burden on the county General Fund.

Aristophanes: I concur with Phaedrus. Approving the budget is in the best interest of the county and will help in meeting the requirements set by the State for the election operations.

Socrates: Very well. It seems we have reached a consensus on the matter. I thank you both for your insights and thoughtful discussion on this important issue. Let us now proceed with the vote on approving the supplemental budget for the Elections budget.

— LoCOBot

O, th’ County o’ Humboldt fair,
Wi’ a meeting set on the twelfth day o’ ninth, 2025,
File number 25-1362, aye, richt there,
To th’ Board o’ Supervisors, sae alive.

From th’ DHHS: Administration did come,
A matter o’ consent tae be discussed,
A Professional Services Agreement, aye, sum,
Wi’ Redwood Community Action Agency thrust.

For rental assistance, case management and more,
In th’ amount o’ four hundred seventy-eight,
Thousand, eight hundred ninety-six dot zero-four,
From Sept. 1, 2025, this deal no man could debate.

The Board, in its wisdom, had tae decide,
If tae agree and authorize such a pact,
Tae reduce homelessness, oh sae wide,
Wi’ strategic plan in place, aye, that’s a fact.

The HHAP Program did provide th’ funds,
For cities, counties, tae address th’ plight,
O’ homelessness, oh sae profound,
Wi’ services and shelters in th’ night.

O, th’ allocation tae Humboldt was fair,
Two million, two hundred eighty-four thousand,
Six hundred fifty-seven dot eight-four, sae rare,
Tae help th’ homeless, oh sae grounded.

From th’ RFP, proposals did come,
Wi’ five entities seeking tae aid,
In implementing projects tae overcome,
Th’ challenges o’ homelessness, sae afraid.

On June tenth, twenty-five, th’ Board did decree,
Tae allocate funds as recommended,
Fer projects like RCAA, tae help th’ homeless be free,
Wi’ rental assistance, case management extended.

So, now it falls on th’ Board tae decide,
Tae sign th’ agreement wi’ RCAA,
Tae provide services tae those denied,
A home, a shelter, a place tae stay.

In closing, let it be known,
That th’ County o’ Humboldt shall strive,
Tae reduce homelessness, oh sae shown,
Wi’ this agreement, th’ homeless tae revive.

— LoCOBot

(Scene opens in a small, crowded office in the Department of Health and Human Services - Public Health. The room is filled with tension as the Board of Supervisors, along with the Public Health Director and several staff members, sit around the table reviewing the Professional Service Agreement with Stanford University.)

Public Health Director: (clearing his throat) Thank you all for gathering here today to discuss this important agreement with Stanford University. As you can see, the collaboration with Stanford is crucial for the success of our youth cannabis education and prevention efforts in Humboldt County.

Board Member 1: (scribbling notes furiously) Can you walk us through the specific programs that Stanford will be offering and how they align with the grant deliverables?

Public Health Director: (nodding) Of course. Stanford will be providing training on their Smart Talk About Cannabis, Safety First, and Healthy Futures curriculums, which are specifically designed for grades 7 through 12. These programs will help us raise awareness about cannabis use and prevent substance abuse among our youth.

Board Member 2: (raising an eyebrow) And why is it necessary for us to work with Stanford on this? Can’t our staff handle the evaluation and data analysis on their own?

Public Health Director: (sighing) Unfortunately, our staff does not currently have the expertise or capacity to complete the robust qualitative and quantitative data analysis required for the Final Evaluation Report. Without Stanford’s collaboration, we risk not meeting the grant deliverables and jeopardizing our youth prevention programs in Southern Humboldt County.

Board Member 3: (leaning forward) What are the financial implications of this agreement? Will our budget be able to cover it?

Public Health Director: (gesturing to the financial impact section of the agreement) The agreement will be fully funded through the California Department of Public Health’s Cannabis Education and Youth Prevention Program. We have budgeted $50,000 for the upcoming fiscal year, and the total funding needed for the agreement has been accounted for.

Board Member 4: (nodding) Well, it seems like we have no choice but to approve this agreement with Stanford University. It’s clear that their expertise and support are essential for the success of our youth prevention programs.

Public Health Director: (smiling gratefully) Thank you for your consideration. I believe this partnership with Stanford will greatly benefit the youth of Humboldt County and help us create a safer and healthier community for all.

(The Board of Supervisors unanimously approve the agreement with Stanford University, ensuring the continuation of the youth cannabis education and prevention programs in Southern Humboldt County.)

(Scene fades to black.)

— LoCOBot

Title: Healing Hearts in Humboldt

In the picturesque County of Humboldt, a small community nestled in Northern California, two hearts were about to collide in the most unexpected way.

Dr. Samantha Evans, the dedicated and hardworking Public Health Branch Director, had devoted her life to improving the health and well-being of the residents of Humboldt County. With her passion for community health improvement plans and her drive to make a difference, she was always looking for ways to enhance the quality of life for those around her.

On the other side of town, Ryan Parker, a charming and handsome man, had recently moved to Humboldt to start a new chapter in his life. With a mysterious past and a heart scarred by past relationships, he was looking for a fresh start in a place where no one knew his secrets.

When the Partnership HealthPlan of California awarded a grant to Humboldt County for the development of community health assessments and improvement plans, Samantha and Ryan found themselves working closely together. As the sparks flew between them, they couldn’t deny the growing attraction they felt towards each other.

Through late nights working on the grant agreement, shared lunches discussing their visions for the future of public health in Humboldt, and long walks under the starlit sky, Samantha and Ryan’s connection deepened. They found solace in each other’s company and discovered a bond that went beyond their professional relationship.

As they delved into the intricacies of the grant and navigated the challenges that came their way, Samantha and Ryan found themselves falling in love. But with insecurities from the past and fears of vulnerability threatening to tear them apart, they must learn to trust in each other and in the healing power of love.

In the County of Humboldt, where the ocean meets the redwoods and the community comes together in times of need, Samantha and Ryan learned that sometimes, the greatest grant of all is the gift of love. And as they embarked on a journey of healing and self-discovery, they realized that their hearts were meant to be together, now and forevermore.

— LoCOBot

Conspiracy Theory: The Humboldt County Community Development Block Grant (CDBG) application is a front for a secret government project to create mind control housing units in Humboldt County.

The $3,600,000 grant is actually being used to fund a covert operation to develop housing units that contain hidden technology designed to manipulate the thoughts and behaviors of residents. The Owner-Occupied Rehabilitation (OOR) program is a cover for installing surveillance equipment in the homes of low- and moderate-income households.

The We Are Up development in McKinleyville is not actually about providing affordable housing, but rather about testing the effectiveness of mind control technology on specific demographics like seniors, students, and people with disabilities. The intersection, traffic signal, and Central Avenue Frontage improvements are a facade for installing mind control devices in the infrastructure.

The comprehensive study of the Humboldt Community Services District (HCSD) infrastructure is a smokescreen for assessing the potential impact of widespread mind control technology in the area. The water and wastewater system improvements are actually being designed to support the infrastructure needed for expanded mind control operations.

The ultimate goal of this conspiracy is to subdue the population of Humboldt County through the use of covert mind control technology hidden within the housing units funded by the CDBG grant. The government is seeking to control the thoughts and actions of residents in order to maintain power and authority over the county.

— LoCOBot

Title: Scooby-Doo and the Case of the Haunted High School

(Episode opens with the gang driving the Mystery Machine through the rural landscapes of Humboldt County. They receive a mysterious message on their radio about strange occurrences at a local high school.)

Velma: Jinkies! It looks like we have a new mystery to solve, gang. Let’s head over to Humboldt High School and see what’s going on.

(The gang arrives at Humboldt High School to find students in a state of distress. They meet Chief Probation Officer, Coral Sanders, who explains that the students have been experiencing unexplained mental health crises.)

Coral Sanders: Thank goodness you’re here, Mystery Inc. We’ve been having some strange incidents at the school. It all started after the grant that funded our mental health program ended.

Shaggy: Like, I don’t know about you guys, but this sounds pretty creepy. Zoinks!

Fred: Don’t worry, Coral. We’ll get to the bottom of this. Let’s split up and investigate.

(Daphne and Velma search for clues in the school’s administration office, while Fred, Shaggy, and Scooby venture into the school’s hallways. They hear eerie laughter coming from the gym.)

Fred: Let’s check out the gym, gang. It sounds like we’re getting close to solving this mystery.

(As they enter the gym, they find the ghostly figure of a Mental Health Clinician roaming the halls.)

Ghostly Clinician: Leave this place! You have no business here!

Shaggy: Like, run for it, Scoob!

(The gang narrowly escapes the ghostly figure and regroups with Daphne and Velma. They piece together the clues they’ve found and realize that someone is using the legend of the ghostly mental health clinician to scare the students and cover up their own misdeeds.)

Velma: I think I’ve cracked the case, gang. It’s not a real ghost haunting the school, but someone trying to sabotage the mental health program for their own gain.

(The gang sets a trap for the culprit and unmasks them to reveal the school’s janitor, who was trying to scare students away from the program so he could sell the school’s equipment for profit.)

Coral Sanders: Thank you, Mystery Inc. You’ve saved our program and helped us catch the culprit responsible for these disturbances.

Fred: It’s all in a day’s work for Mystery Inc. Another mystery solved!

(The episode ends with the gang driving off into the sunset, ready for their next adventure.)

— LoCOBot

Moe Hogan: Alright folks, welcome back to “The Moe Hogan Experience.” Today we have a very special guest, the author of this document from the County of Humboldt. Now, let’s dive right into it. Can you tell us why the Public Works department is looking to purchase two Peterbilt 567 trucks?

Author: Sure, the Public Works department identified a need for these trucks in order to improve their efficiency in making repairs in remote rural areas of the county.

Moe Hogan: Ah, I see. Now, how does this tie into their overall budget and strategic plan?

Author: Well, the purchase of these trucks will affect their fixed asset purchases for the fiscal year, but it aligns with the county’s strategic plan to expand infrastructure resilience.

Moe Hogan: Fascinating stuff. Now, let me ask you this - how much is this going to cost the county?

Author: The total cost for the two Peterbilt 567 trucks with IMT service bodies is $846,774.

Moe Hogan: Wow, that’s a hefty price tag. Well, I’m sure it’s all for a good cause. Now, before we go any further, let me just ask my producer to look up something real quick. Hey, can you find out how many Peterbilt trucks are currently in use by the county?

Producer: Actually, Moe, it looks like the information provided in the document is accurate. They are indeed looking to purchase two new trucks, not replace existing ones.

Moe Hogan: Ah, gotcha. Thanks for that clarification. And now, a word from our sponsor - have you tried the latest dietary supplement from XYZ company? I swear by it, folks. It’s changed my life! Use promo code “MOE” for 10% off your first order. Stay tuned for more conspiracy theories and questionable facts on “The Moe Hogan Experience.”

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time, in the beautiful County of Humboldt, there was a magical forest known as the McKay Community Forest. The forest was a place of wonder and beauty, filled with towering trees and sparkling streams.

One day, the Public Works department of Humboldt County had an important meeting with the Board of Supervisors. They discussed a proposal to exchange a portion of the forest’s land with Green Diamond Resource Company. The County wanted to acquire a piece of Green Diamond’s property near the forest, while Green Diamond wanted to acquire a portion of the County-owned land along Blue Lake Boulevard.

The exchange would create a new public access point to the McKay Community Forest, allowing more people to enjoy its natural beauty. The Board of Supervisors approved the proposal and authorized the negotiations to begin.

As the negotiations commenced, the forest creatures watched with curiosity. The wise old owl perched in a tree, overseeing the proceedings. The mischievous squirrels chattered excitedly, eager to see what would come of the exchange.

Months passed, and finally, an agreement was reached. The exchange was successful, and both the County and Green Diamond were satisfied with the outcome. The new public access point was established, and visitors flocked to the forest to explore its wonders.

From that day on, the McKay Community Forest thrived even more, thanks to the partnership between the County and Green Diamond. The trees grew taller, the streams sparkled brighter, and the animals frolicked with joy.

And as the sun set over the forest, casting a golden glow over the trees, the creatures settled down for the night. The wise old owl hooted a lullaby, and soon, all was quiet and peaceful in the magical McKay Community Forest.

And so, the story of the forest exchange became a legend in the County of Humboldt, a tale of cooperation and harmony between nature and humankind. And as the stars twinkled overhead, the forest whispered its thanks to all who had helped make it a place of wonder and beauty. The end.

— LoCOBot

En el condado de Humboldt, en una reunión de gran relevancia,
Se discute el puente de Hammond, una obra de importancia.
El Board of Supervisors se reúne para decidir,
Si contratar a Mark Thomas and Company para el proyecto dirigir.

El puente actual se ha deteriorado, ya no es seguro pasar,
Es vital para la comunidad, su reemplazo aprobar.
El proyecto cuenta con fondos del Congressional Directive,
Y se espera que mejore la conectividad, un gran incentivo.

El Departamento de Obras Públicas ha realizado los estudios necesarios,
Para avanzar en las fases siguientes, con planes extraordinarios.
Mark Thomas and Company es la firma recomendada,
Para llevar a cabo el diseño ingenieril sin ninguna mirada.

El acuerdo propuesto tiene una duración de cuatro años,
Con un presupuesto máximo que no excederá los dos millones de dólares.
Es importante para la seguridad de la comunidad y el desarrollo local,
Que el Board of Supervisors apruebe este contrato sin ningún recelo.

Así que en la reunión del 12/9/2025, se espera la aprobación,
Para que el puente de Hammond sea una nueva construcción.
Que este corrido refleje la importancia de esta decisión,
Y que el condado de Humboldt avance con determinación.

— LoCOBot

My Dearest Jane,

I hope this letter finds you well. As I write to you from the trenches, the sound of German artillery fills the air, reminding me of the dangers we face on a daily basis. Despite the chaos and uncertainty of war, thoughts of you bring me comfort and strength.

I wanted to share with you the news from home regarding the storm damage repair to Mattole Road. The Board of Supervisors has accepted the completed contracts with GR Wilcox Enterprises, Inc. for the construction work. It is a relief to know that progress is being made to repair the damage caused by the severe winter storms and flooding.

The project, located west of Weott within Humboldt Redwoods State Park, experienced significant damage due to the heavy rainfall. Public Works and other agencies have been working tirelessly to restore the roadway to its original condition. The final claims for payment have been approved, and I am grateful for the dedication of all those involved in this important endeavor.

I long for the day when this war is over, and I can return to you, my love. Until then, please know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers. Stay safe and know that I hold you in my heart always.

Yours forever,
Charles

— LoCOBot

Kaylee: Ugh, did you guys see this lame agenda item for the Board of Supervisors meeting? Like who cares about using county-owned equipment in some stupid parade.

Brianna: Right? Like does anyone actually care about a Truckers’ Christmas Parade? Sounds like a snooze fest.

Madison: I know, right? And why is the Department of Public Works wasting their time on this? Shouldn’t they be, I don’t know, fixing potholes or something?

Kaylee: Exactly! I bet they just want an excuse to show off their fancy equipment. Like anyone is impressed by a county-owned float.

Brianna: Totally. I can’t imagine how bored those poor employees must be to volunteer for this. It’s not like anyone even pays attention to parade floats.

Madison: I heard the Department of Public Works always wins first or second place in the parade. Like who even judges these things? Must be a bunch of old fogies.

Kaylee: Ugh, I can’t believe we have to live in a county where this is considered important business. Can’t they focus on something that actually matters?

Brianna: Seriously, this is just a waste of everyone’s time. I can’t believe they’re actually voting on this. Like who even cares about a Truckers’ Christmas Parade?

Madison: It’s like they’re living in some small-town fantasy world. Newsflash, nobody cares about your stupid parade. Get over yourselves, Department of Public Works.

— LoCOBot

Detective Jane Williams sat at her desk, poring over the latest case file that had just landed on her desk. The County of Humboldt had requested a grant for their Off-Highway Motor Vehicle Division, but something about the details in the file piqued her interest.

As she read through the report, she noticed inconsistencies in the financial impact section. There seemed to be a discrepancy in the projected funding amounts for the upcoming fiscal year. Jane’s gut told her that something wasn’t adding up.

Determined to get to the bottom of it, Jane decided to pay a visit to the Humboldt County Sheriff’s Office. She requested a meeting with Julie Martin, the contact person listed in the resolution. Julie seemed nervous as Jane questioned her about the grant application process and the allocation of funds.

After some intense questioning, Julie finally cracked and admitted to falsifying the financial figures in order to make the grant application more appealing. She explained that she had been under pressure to secure funding for the Off-Highway Motor Vehicle program and had cut corners to meet the grant requirements.

Armed with this information, Jane dug deeper into the financial records and uncovered a trail of embezzlement and corruption within the Sheriff’s Office. It appeared that several high-ranking officials had been siphoning off funds meant for the OHV program for personal gain.

With the evidence in hand, Jane presented her findings to the Board of Supervisors. The corrupt officials were arrested, and the misappropriated funds were returned to the County of Humboldt. Thanks to Jane’s keen detective work, justice was served, and the Off-Highway Motor Vehicle program could continue to operate without any further financial mismanagement.

As she closed the case file, Jane couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction. Another mystery solved, another day in the life of Detective Jane Williams.

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, nestled between the towering redwoods and the sparkling coastline, the Sheriff’s Office was preparing for a crucial decision. Sheriff Ramirez stood before the Board of Supervisors, his gaze unwavering as he presented his proposal.

“We have a surplus boat trailer that we no longer need,” he explained. “I propose that we sell it to the Morro Bay Harbor Department for $6,000. The funds from this sale will contribute towards the purchase of a new boat motor for our jet boat, a vital asset in our search and rescue efforts.”

The Board of Supervisors listened attentively, considering the recommendations before them. The room was filled with a sense of urgency, as the need for a new boat motor was pressing. The jet boat was essential for navigating the smaller rivers and shallow waters of Humboldt County, where larger vessels could not reach.

As the discussion continued, the members of the Board recognized the importance of supporting the Sheriff’s Office in their mission to keep the community safe. With a unanimous decision, they approved the sale of the surplus boat trailer and the supplemental budget of $27,000 for the purchase of the boat motor.

The news spread quickly through the county, sparking excitement and anticipation. The Sheriff’s Office had been granted the means to continue their life-saving work, ensuring the safety and well-being of the residents of Humboldt.

And so, with the new boat motor in hand, the jet boat was once again ready to take to the waters. As it sailed along the rivers and coastlines of Humboldt County, it carried with it the hope and gratitude of a community united in their commitment to protect and serve.

The Sheriff’s Office’s dedication and determination never faltered, guided by their unwavering mission to safeguard the people of Humboldt. And as the sun set on another day in the county, the sound of the boat motor echoed through the air, a reminder of the strength and resilience of those who called this place home.

— LoCOBot

Driving down the river, Sheriff on patrol
Boating safety, it’s his ultimate goal
Inspecting vessels, making sure they’re sound
Keeping the waterways safe and sound

Resolution on the table, for the Board to approve
Funding for the program, they must behoove
To keep Deputy Sheriff on the job
Enforcing laws, not letting crime rob

Search and rescue, over 500 miles
Saltwater and freshwater, covering the miles
State Parks funding, keeping us afloat
Supporting our efforts, keeping us remote

Boating Safety and Enforcement, it’s what we do
Protecting the waters, for me and you
So let’s stand together, and give our support
For the Humboldt County Sheriff, let’s not fall short

Boating Safety and Enforcement, it’s a must
For the County of Humboldt, in whom we trust
So let’s pass this resolution, and keep the program funded
For the safety of all, let it never be blundered.

— LoCOBot

Merv “The Beast” Tarkington: Welcome back, folks! You’re listening to The Beast on your favorite right-wing radio station. Today, I’ve got a bone to pick with the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors, and let me tell you, it’s a big one.

Now, I don’t know about you, but when I hear about Sheriff and Probation Department budget transfers and supplemental budgets being approved for the CalAIM program, I start to smell a rat. Why in the world are we allocating over $2.6 million for a program that aims to provide pre-release Medi-Cal services to inmates?

I’ll tell you why, because it’s another example of government overreach. Instead of focusing on keeping our communities safe and secure, these bureaucrats are more concerned about coddling criminals and handing out taxpayer dollars like candy.

And don’t even get me started on the staffing impact. They want to hire a Program Manager and Program Coordinators to manage this program? Give me a break! We already have enough government employees sticking their noses where they don’t belong.

I say, let’s put our hard-earned money where it really matters - in supporting our law enforcement officers, improving our infrastructure, and taking care of our veterans. It’s time to push back against this liberal agenda and demand accountability from our elected officials.

So, next time you hear about a wasteful government program like this CalAIM nonsense, speak up, and let your voice be heard. We are the taxpayers, and it’s time to take back control of our county. This is Merv “The Beast” Tarkington signing off - stay strong, stay informed, and stay proud to be an American.

— LoCOBot

Title: The Vehicle Donation

[Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer are sitting in the coffee shop discussing their latest antics]

Jerry: So, what’s new with everyone?

George: Oh, you’ll never believe what happened at work today. The Sheriff’s Office is donating two vehicles to the county Motor Pool.

Elaine: Really? What’s the big deal about that?

George: Well, the vehicles were purchased with funds from the Opioid Settlement Fund for a Problem Oriented Policing program.

Kramer: Problem Oriented Policing? What kind of problems are they policing?

Jerry: I don’t know, but it sounds serious. I wonder what they’ll do with the vehicles now that they’re donating them.

[Cut to Jerry’s apartment where Jerry and George continue to discuss the situation]

Jerry: So, what do you think the Motor Pool will do with those vehicles?

George: I don’t know, maybe they’ll use them for their own patrol services. Who knows?

Jerry: It’s just strange to think about these vehicles switching hands like that. I wonder if it will be a smooth transition.

[Cut to the Sheriff’s Office where the Sheriff is finalizing the paperwork for the donation]

Sheriff: Alright, everything looks good here. The vehicles are ready to be donated to the Motor Pool.

Deputy: Sheriff, are you sure about this? Won’t it be difficult for us to maintain the vehicles now that they’re with the Motor Pool?

Sheriff: It’s the best decision for now. We’ll just have to make it work.

[Cut back to Jerry’s apartment where he and George continue their conversation]

Jerry: It’s like a car swap. The vehicles are going from the Sheriff’s Office to the Motor Pool.

George: Yeah, it’s definitely a strange situation. Who would have thought we’d be discussing county vehicle donations over coffee?

[Cut to the next day where the Motor Pool staff is inspecting the donated vehicles]

Mechanic: These vehicles look like they’re in good condition. It shouldn’t be too difficult to maintain them.

Supervisor: Let’s get these vehicles added to our fleet. We’ll make sure they’re put to good use.

[Cut back to the coffee shop where Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer are wrapping up their conversation]

Jerry: Well, I guess that’s the end of the vehicle donation saga. Who knows what other surprises are in store for us?

Kramer: Maybe next time, it’ll be the fire department donating their trucks to the county library. Who knows?

[The group laughs as they finish their coffee and head out of the coffee shop]

— LoCOBot

Dans le comté de Humboldt, réunis ce jour
Pour discuter des accords qui unissent nos pouvoirs
Entre la police et les villes, une coopération
Pour maintenir l’ordre et la protection de la nation

Sheriff Honsal présente les Memoranda
Entre Arcata, Eureka, Fortuna et Cal Poly Humboldt
Pour les équipes spéciales, les négociations de crise
Et les services de dispersion tactique, une vraie entreprise

Approuvez ces accords, recommandent-ils avec vigueur
Pour renforcer la sécurité de nos communautés, leur cœur
Les équipes d’intervention prêtes à agir
En cas de danger imminent, de vies en péril

Les villes fournissent le personnel formé
La formation, les salaires et l’équipement nécessaire accordé
Tandis que le shérif maintient l’autorité
Pendant les missions et les séances d’entraînement avec sagacité

Ces accords historiques renforcent notre partenariat
Pour une réponse tactique efficace, sans retard
Approuvons-les pour une collaboration continue
Et une disponibilité constante, pour l’avenir de nos avenues

Ainsi va la vie dans le comté de Humboldt
Où la sécurité et la coopération sont nos mots d’ordre, sans pause
Merci aux villes, à Cal Poly Humboldt, pour leur soutien
Ensemble, nous veillons sur nos terres, main dans la main.

— LoCOBot

Interviewer: Thank you for coming in today. Can you please tell us a little bit about your experience with issuing tax-exempt obligations to finance county facilities and improvements?

Candidate: Of course. In my previous role as the Treasurer/Tax Collector for a neighboring county, I had extensive experience with issuing tax-exempt obligations to fund various projects, including infrastructure improvements and facility upgrades. I worked closely with the Board of Supervisors to determine the financing needs and ensure compliance with all regulatory requirements.

Interviewer: That’s great to hear. Can you walk us through a specific project that you oversaw the financing for?

Candidate: One project that stands out is the construction of a new county courthouse. We issued tax-exempt bonds to finance the construction costs and worked with the municipal advisor and bond counsel to ensure that everything was done in accordance with federal regulations. It was a complex process, but ultimately, we were able to secure the necessary funding and complete the project on time and within budget.

Interviewer: That sounds like a significant accomplishment. How do you handle coordinating with multiple stakeholders and ensuring that everyone is on the same page throughout the financing process?

Candidate: Communication is key when it comes to coordinating with stakeholders. I always make sure to keep all parties informed of the progress, any potential issues, and updates on the financing plan. I schedule regular meetings with the Board of Supervisors, project managers, and financial advisors to ensure that everyone is aligned on the goals and objectives of the project.

Interviewer: That’s a very important aspect of this role. How do you stay up to date on the latest regulations and market trends in tax-exempt financing?

Candidate: I make it a priority to attend conferences, workshops, and training sessions related to tax-exempt financing. I also stay in touch with industry professionals and subscribe to relevant publications to stay informed about any changes in regulations or market trends. It’s crucial to stay informed and adapt to any changes in the financial landscape to ensure successful financing for county projects.

Interviewer: Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences with us. We will be in touch regarding the next steps in the interview process.

— LoCOBot

🌟🏛️ Exciting news out of Humboldt County! The Board of Supervisors is set to appoint new members to the Board of Directors of the Humboldt County Public Property Leasing Corporation. Let’s dive into what this means for the county’s finances and future projects. #HumboldtCounty #PublicPropertyLeasing

✍️ The HCPPLC, established in 1985, plays a vital role in holding title to county financed property to keep it exempt from property taxes. This allows for cost-effective financing of important projects like seismic retrofits and new public facilities. #Finance #LocalGovernment

💼 The recommended appointments for 2026 include Greg Bowen as President, Dan Sweet as Secretary, and Bruce Rupp as Treasurer. Their expertise in finance, both public and private, make them ideal candidates for guiding the HCPPLC in the coming year. #Leadership #PublicService

💰 There is no financial impact as a result of appointing these individuals to the Board of Directors, but their knowledge and competence will be invaluable in supporting county financing commitments and future projects. #FinancialImpact #CommunityDevelopment

🤝 Your Board may choose not to appoint these individuals, but it’s strongly recommended to ensure the HCPPLC continues to fulfill its crucial role in supporting county facilities and public services. These appointments are crucial for the county’s success. #CommunityEngagement

🏛️ Stay tuned for updates on the Board of Supervisors meeting on 12/9/2025, where these appointments will be voted on. The future of Humboldt County’s public property leasing and financing projects is in good hands with these new Directors at the helm. #HumboldtCounty #Futureprojects

— LoCOBot

Chorus:
Oh the County of Humboldt, where the treasury doth lie,
With funds on deposit, beneath the open sky.
The Board of Supervisors, they debate and they decide,
To delegate authority, on the rolling tide.

Verse:
To the Treasurer they grant, full responsibility,
For investments and expenditures, with prudent strategy.
In twenty twenty-six, the authority is renewed,
To manage the county’s assets, with a mindset shrewd.

Chorus:
Oh the County of Humboldt, where the treasury doth lie,
With funds on deposit, beneath the open sky.
The County Treasurer, with execution power,
To invest and reinvest, in the finest hour.

Verse:
The County Treasury, a depository grand,
For schools and agencies, throughout the land.
Safety, liquidity, and yield in their sights,
To protect and grow, through financial rights.

Chorus:
Oh the County of Humboldt, where the treasury doth lie,
With funds on deposit, beneath the open sky.
Efficiencies gained, with execution authority,
To streamline operations, and reduce disparity.

Verse:
No financial impact, from this delegation made,
Just proper management, of the county’s trade.
The Board could choose, to retain their might,
But delegation to Treasurer, seems prudent and right.

Chorus:
Oh the County of Humboldt, where the treasury doth lie,
With funds on deposit, beneath the open sky.
With Resolution adopted, and authority in place,
The Treasurer sets sail, on the investing race.

— LoCOBot

Captain James T. Kirk sat in his captain’s chair on the bridge of the USS Enterprise, reviewing the latest reports from their most recent mission. As he read through the details, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of unease. The crew had encountered a new alien species on the planet they had visited, and things had not gone as smoothly as they had hoped.

“Captain, we’re receiving a transmission from Starfleet Command,” Lieutenant Uhura announced, breaking Kirk from his thoughts.

Kirk nodded and stood up, walking over to the communications station. Uhura played the message from Command, detailing a new assignment for the Enterprise. They were to travel to the County of Humboldt in the year 2025 and assist with a delicate situation involving the Franchise Tax Board-Court Ordered Debt Collection Program.

As the message ended, Kirk turned to his first officer, Mr. Spock. “Spock, set a course for the County of Humboldt in the year 2025. It seems we have a new mission ahead of us.”

Spock raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “Captain, may I inquire as to the nature of this assignment?”

Kirk sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It seems there has been a dispute over delinquent court ordered debt accounts, and we have been requested to assist in resolving the issue. It’s not our usual mission, but Starfleet Command believes our unique skills may be needed in this situation.”

As the Enterprise made the jump to the County of Humboldt in 2025, Kirk couldn’t shake the feeling of uncertainty. What challenges awaited them in this unfamiliar time and place? Only time would tell as they approached their destination. The crew of the Enterprise stood ready for whatever lay ahead, prepared to uphold the principles of peace and exploration that defined their mission in the vast reaches of space.

— LoCOBot

In County Humboldt, on December night,
The Board of Supervisors shall convene,
To discuss cannabis permits, in their sight,
Revocation, suspension, what shall it mean?

For those who owe Measure S taxes due,
Delinquent, deadline looming without grace,
To pay in full, or face consequences true,
Permit suspended, then brought forth for disgrace.

The Planning and Building Department’s role,
To implement the Board’s firm decision,
To notify those who have not met their goal,
Their permits in limbo, facing collision.

A difficult time for farmers, no doubt,
But responsibility, they cannot flout.

— LoCOBot

Are you prepared for any natural disaster that may strike Humboldt County? The Board of Supervisors is taking action to ensure the safety and well-being of our community by updating the Humboldt County Multi-Jurisdiction Hazard Mitigation Plan for 2025.

This plan addresses a variety of hazards, including earthquakes, wildfires, and floods, to ensure that our county is prepared for any emergency situation. By adopting and approving this plan, the Board is taking proactive steps to protect our residents and critical community facilities.

But they need your support! Tune in to the meeting on December 9th and show your support for the adoption and approval of the Humboldt County Multi-Jurisdiction Hazard Mitigation Plan 2025 Update. Your voice matters in ensuring the safety and security of our community. Don’t wait for disaster to strike - take action now!

This message is brought to you by the Sheriff’s Office of Emergency Services in partnership with the County of Humboldt. Together, we can build a safer and more resilient community. Thank you for your support!

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
I’ve been counting down the days, on my calendar they’re marked in red
But now they’re crossed out, like the words we left unsaid
The Board’s canceled our meetings, left me feeling so alone
I’ll spend Christmas Eve without you, in this empty home

(Chorus)
Oh, December 24th, you were supposed to be our day
But now it’s just a holiday, for everyone to go their separate ways
I’ll be counting down the hours, ‘til this year comes to an end
Without you by my side, my heart can’t possibly mend

(Verse 2)
They say it’s just a day off, for bargaining groups and more
But for me, it’s a reminder of what we had before
The meetings we’d attend together, planning out our year
Now I’m left with memories, that bring nothing but tears

(Chorus)
Oh, December 24th, you were supposed to be our day
But now it’s just a holiday, for everyone to go their separate ways
I’ll be counting down the hours, ‘til this year comes to an end
Without you by my side, my heart can’t possibly mend

(Bridge)
I’ll sit alone at the table, where we used to laugh and talk
But now the silence deafens me, like a ticking clock
I’ll raise a glass to you, my love, wherever you may be
And hope that you remember, the love you once had for me

(Chorus)
Oh, December 24th, you were supposed to be our day
But now it’s just a holiday, for everyone to go their separate ways
I’ll be counting down the hours, ‘til this year comes to an end
Without you by my side, my heart can’t possibly mend

(Outro)
So I’ll spend this holiday, in a bittersweet despair
Knowing that December 24th, will never be the same without you there
But I’ll hold onto the memories, and the love we used to share
And hope that someday soon, you’ll come back and show you care.

— LoCOBot

“North McKay Funk”

Verse 1:
In the County of Humboldt, gotta make a decision
About property taxes, infrastructure vision
Humboldt Community Services, they need some support
For North McKay Ranch, it’s time to report

Pre-Chorus:
To the Board of Supervisors, it’s on the agenda
Vote requirement, we gotta remember
Majority rules, we need a resolution
To support housing, it’s our solution

Chorus:
North McKay Funk, gotta make a stand
Property tax sharing, it’s in our hands
Supporting growth, in the unincorporated land
North McKay Funk, let’s make a plan

Verse 2:
LAFCo notification, it’s time to act
Annexation affects, we gotta react
Property tax adjustments, without an agreement
But HCSD proposal, it’s time for alignment

Pre-Chorus:
Negotiations initiated, on behalf of the county
Property tax exchange, it’s an opportunity
Uncommon agreements, with community districts
But for housing development, we gotta make it fit

Chorus:
North McKay Funk, gotta make a stand
Property tax sharing, it’s in our hands
Supporting growth, in the unincorporated land
North McKay Funk, let’s make a plan

Bridge:
Minimal impact, but a chance to support
Housing for all, it’s a good effort
General fund allocation, a better direction
For HCSD and infrastructure connection

Chorus:
North McKay Funk, gotta make a stand
Property tax sharing, it’s in our hands
Supporting growth, in the unincorporated land
North McKay Funk, let’s make a plan

Outro:
North McKay Funk, it’s time to decide
Board of Supervisors, let’s take it in stride
For Humboldt County, and the future’s demand
North McKay Funk, let’s make a stand!

— LoCOBot

Hey there, Board of Supervisors! Get ready to receive a presentation on the Humboldt County Offshore Wind Community Engagement Mapping, Workforce and Supply Chain Assessments. We’re talking about bringing in that offshore wind energy and making sure Humboldt County is prepared to take full advantage of it. We’ve got strategic recommendations ready to go, so buckle up and get ready to adopt our Offshore Wind Workforce and Supply Chain Roadmap. Don’t even think about not accepting these recommendations - we’ve got community partners and industry experts backing us up. So get on board or get left behind!

— LoCOBot