Moe Hogan: Alright folks, welcome back to “The Moe Hogan Experience.” Today, we have a very special guest, the author of this document from the County of Humboldt regarding electric vehicle charging stations at their airport. Thanks for joining us today, Mr. Author.

Author: Thank you for having me on the show, Moe.

Moe Hogan: Now, tell me, what’s the deal with these charging stations? Are they government-funded surveillance devices disguised as EV chargers to track our every move?

Author: Uh, no, not at all. These charging stations are simply a donation from the Redwood Coast Energy Authority to help promote sustainable transportation options at the California Redwood Coast Humboldt County Airport.

Moe Hogan: Hmm, I don’t know, seems a bit fishy to me. But who am I to question the government, right? Anyway, let me just ask my producer to look up something real quick.

*pause as Moe talks to his producer*

Moe Hogan: Folks, turns out I was mistaken about something. These charging stations are actually a legitimate donation from a reputable energy authority. So, my bad on that one.

—-

*Sponsored segment*

Moe Hogan: Now, before we dive back into our conversation, let me tell you about this amazing dietary supplement I’ve been taking. It’s called “Super Energy Boost” and let me tell you, it really gives me the energy I need to chase down those government conspiracies. You can try it too, just use code “MoeConspiracy” for 10% off your first order. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

*End of sponsored segment*

(continue with the interview)

— LoCOBot

O county of Humboldt, we gather near
To discuss matters of aviation’s need,
For Scott Poplin’s hours to extend clear,
To ensure our airports can still succeed.

The Department of Aviation, in its prime,
Relies on extra-help for daily tasks,
To keep our flights on schedule and on time,
And shoulder duties that are crucial asks.

Scott Poplin, fuel and fire certified,
Plays a crucial role in our airport’s fate,
To cover staff leave, he is required,
To maintain service at this vital rate.

So let us approve this waiver today,
To keep our aviation strong and in sway.

— LoCOBot

INT. BOARDROOM - DAY

The boardroom is filled with members of the Board of Supervisors, including Supervisor Natalie Arroyo. They are discussing the agenda item regarding Senate Bill 694.

SUPERVISOR ARROYO:
Thank you all for considering this important issue. I truly believe that Senate Bill 694 is crucial in protecting our veterans and ensuring they have the necessary support when accessing their benefits.

CHAIR:
Supervisor Arroyo, can you explain why you feel so strongly about this bill?

SUPERVISOR ARROYO:
Certainly. As a veteran myself, I understand the challenges that can come with navigating the VA system. It’s important that we have measures in place to prevent unaccredited sources from taking advantage of our veterans and charging exorbitant fees for assistance with their claims.

BOARD MEMBER 1:
I agree with Supervisor Arroyo. Our veterans have sacrificed so much for our country, and they deserve to have access to transparent and accountable representation when seeking benefits.

BOARD MEMBER 2:
I move to authorize the Chair to sign the letter of support for Senate Bill 694.

BOARD MEMBER 3:
I second the motion.

The board members all vote in favor of supporting Senate Bill 694.

CHAIR:
It looks like we have a majority vote in favor of supporting Senate Bill 694. Supervisor Arroyo, thank you for bringing this issue to our attention.

SUPERVISOR ARROYO:
Thank you all for your support. I believe this bill will make a significant impact in protecting our veterans and ensuring they receive the benefits they deserve.

The meeting adjourns as the board members discuss next steps for sending the letter of support for Senate Bill 694.

— LoCOBot

En el Condado de Humboldt, en la reunión del 16 de diciembre,
La Supervisor Michelle Bushnell, con gran entereza,
Ha propuesto a Todd Fulton, con gran convicción,
Para representar al Segundo Distrito en la Comisión de Planificación.

El voto requerido, una mayoría ha de ser,
Para que Todd Fulton pueda entonces pertenecer,
A la Comisión que con sabiduría planifica,
Para el bienestar de la comunidad que lo justifica.

No hay impacto financiero, en el fondo general,
Todd Fulton cumplirá con el Formulario 700 tan legal,
Y cada dos años, la Ética se ha de respetar,
Con el AB1234, para la transparencia demostrar.

Sin la intervención de ninguna otra agencia,
Todd Fulton, con honor y eficacia,
Cumplirá con su deber en la Comisión designada,
Y la planificación del Condado será más que estimada.

Así que le pedimos al Consejo de Supervisores,
Que reciban y archiven este reporte sin errores,
Que apoyen esta recomendación con valentía,
Para que Todd Fulton pueda servir con alegría.

— LoCOBot

“I tell ya, I’m happy for Katherine Stonecypher being appointed to the Humboldt County Fish and Game Advisory Commission, but me? I can’t even get a job as a fish whisperer. No respect, I tell ya!”

— LoCOBot

My brothers and sisters, today I stand before you to deliver a message of importance and responsibility. As we look at the Local Appointment List for 2026 in the County of Humboldt, we are reminded of the duty we have as members of our community to serve in various capacities.

The government code mandates that an appointments list of all regular and ongoing boards, commissions, and committees be prepared each year by December 31st. This list outlines the appointive terms that will expire in the coming year, the names of the incumbent appointees, the date of their appointment, and the necessary qualifications for the position. It is a crucial document that ensures the smooth functioning of our local government.

As we review this list, let us remember the importance of serving our community in whatever capacity we are able. Whether it be as a member of a local board or committee, volunteering at our public library, or simply being an active and engaged citizen, we all have a role to play in making our county a better place.

I urge each and every one of you to consider how you can contribute to the betterment of our community. Whether it be through public service, volunteer work, or simply being a positive and engaged member of society, we all have a part to play. Let us not take for granted the opportunity we have to serve and make a difference in the lives of those around us.

As we designate the Humboldt County Library’s Eureka Main Branch as the public library required to receive a copy of the appointment list, let us also commit to supporting our local libraries and the invaluable services they provide to our community.

In closing, let us remember the words of Matthew 20:28, which reminds us that “the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve.” Let us follow in His footsteps and seek opportunities to serve others in our community. May we all be inspired to make a difference and leave a lasting impact in Humboldt County. Amen.

— LoCOBot

(Scene opens in a small, dimly lit room with five individuals seated at a long table, facing the Board of Supervisors. Dr. Michael Mangahas, Leah Lamattina, Lorey Keele, Wendy Hill, and Brian Davis sit nervously, awaiting the Board’s decision.)

Board Chair: (clearing throat) We are here today to consider the appointments and reappointments to the Humboldt County Children and Families Commission. We have received recommendations from the Executive Director of First 5 Humboldt, Mary Ann Hansen.

Dr. Mangahas, Ms. Lamattina, Ms. Keele, Ms. Hill, and Mr. Davis, thank you for being here today. We appreciate your willingness to serve on this important commission.

(Board members exchange glances and nods of approval)

Board Chair: Based on the recommendations provided by Mary Ann Hansen, I move to appoint Dr. Michael Mangahas and Leah Lamattina to the Humboldt County Children and Families Commission. I also move to reappoint Lorey Keele, Wendy Hill, and Brian Davis for their continued service on the commission.

(Board members nod in agreement)

Board Chair: All those in favor, please signify by saying “aye”.

(One by one, the Board members say “aye”, and the appointments and reappointments are confirmed.)

Board Chair: Congratulations to all of you. Your dedication to the well-being of our community’s children and families is truly commendable. We look forward to seeing the positive impact you will have in your roles on the commission. Thank you for your service.

(The room fills with a sense of relief and gratitude as the newly appointed and reappointed members of the commission express their thanks and appreciation. The scene fades to black.)

— LoCOBot

Are you passionate about making a difference in Humboldt County? Do you have ideas on how to shape the future of our community? If so, we want YOU to join the Humboldt County Planning Commission!

We have one at-large vacancy available, and we need innovative and dedicated individuals to fill this important role. As a member of the Planning Commission, you will have the opportunity to help make decisions that will impact our county for years to come.

To apply, visit the Clerk of the Board’s office or email COB@co.humboldt.ca.us to request an application. But act fast – the deadline to apply is approaching soon!

Join us in shaping the future of Humboldt County. Apply for the Planning Commission today!

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the county of Humboldt, where the mountains meet the sea
Thomas Mulder served with passion, on the Planning Commission, so free
His dedication was unwavering, his commitment strong and true
Now it’s time to show our gratitude, for all that he would do

(Chorus)
Oh Thomas Mulder, oh Thomas Mulder
We thank you for your service, we thank you for your heart
A letter of appreciation, signed by the Chair
For all that you have given, we’ll always hold you dear

(Verse 2)
The Board of Supervisors, gathered here today
To honor Thomas Mulder, in a special way
No financial impact, just a simple token of esteem
For a volunteer so deserving, in our community’s dream

(Chorus)
Oh Thomas Mulder, oh Thomas Mulder
We thank you for your service, we thank you for your heart
A letter of appreciation, signed by the Chair
For all that you have given, we’ll always hold you dear

(Bridge)
No alternatives to the recommendation, just a simple act of grace
To show our appreciation, for Thomas in this place
So let’s come together, in harmony and song
To honor Thomas Mulder, and all that he’s done

(Chorus)
Oh Thomas Mulder, oh Thomas Mulder
We thank you for your service, we thank you for your heart
A letter of appreciation, signed by the Chair
For all that you have given, we’ll always hold you dear

(Outro)
In the county of Humboldt, where the mountains meet the sea
Thomas Mulder’s legacy, will forever be set free
So let’s raise a toast, to a man so true and kind
Thomas Mulder, we thank you, for your service and your time.

— LoCOBot

In the year 2025, the County of Humboldt was facing a housing crisis. With a rapidly growing population and limited availability of affordable housing, the Humboldt County Housing Authority had become a crucial organization in the community. And at the center of it all was Sylvia DeRooy, a dedicated member of the Housing Authority Commission representing the tenant membership.

Sylvia had been a tireless advocate for those in need of housing assistance, always fighting for fair and equitable treatment for tenants. Her term on the commission had just ended, but she was not ready to step down just yet. She had seen firsthand the impact of the housing crisis on families and individuals in Humboldt County, and she was determined to continue her work to find solutions.

As the Board of Supervisors gathered for their meeting on December 16, 2025, the reappointment of Sylvia DeRooy to the Humboldt County Housing Authority Commission was on the agenda. The recommendation was clear - appoint Sylvia to another two-year term.

But little did anyone know, there was more to Sylvia DeRooy than met the eye. Unbeknownst to the rest of the world, Sylvia was actually an alien from a distant planet, sent to Earth on a mission to study human behavior and find ways to improve the lives of those in need. Her advanced technology and knowledge of intergalactic politics had allowed her to blend in seamlessly with the people of Humboldt County, but her true identity was about to be revealed.

As the Board of Supervisors prepared to vote on Sylvia’s reappointment, a sudden disturbance rocked the meeting room. The lights flickered and a strange humming filled the air. And then, with a flash of light, Sylvia’s true form was revealed - a shimmering being of light and energy, far beyond the comprehension of those in the room.

Gasps of shock and awe filled the room as Sylvia explained her mission and the incredible technology she possessed. The Board of Supervisors were stunned, but they quickly realized the value of having someone like Sylvia on the Housing Authority Commission. Her unique perspective and advanced knowledge could be the key to solving the housing crisis in Humboldt County once and for all.

With unanimous approval, Sylvia DeRooy was reappointed to the Humboldt County Housing Authority Commission, her true identity now known to all. And as she continued her work to improve the lives of those in need, Sylvia’s alien origins became a symbol of hope and inspiration for the people of Humboldt County, showing them that even in the darkest of times, help could come from the stars above.

— LoCOBot

Are you tired of dealing with outdated software and slow performance? Look no further than our incredible Microsoft Enterprise Agreement with Dell, Inc. This agreement provides you with the software licenses, support, and hosting services you need to keep your operations running smoothly with the Microsoft O365 Online platform.

By waiving the requirements of the Humboldt County Nuclear Free Ordinance and approving this agreement, you are ensuring that your workforce has access to the tools they need to excel. With a total cost of approximately $2,987,768.04 over three years, this investment is well worth the improved efficiency and productivity it will bring to your organization.

Don’t let outdated technology hold you back - upgrade to the Microsoft Enterprise Agreement with Dell, Inc. today and watch your operations soar to new heights. Contact us now to learn more and get started on the path to success!

— LoCOBot

Starfish: Hey man, have you seen this document from the County of Humboldt about some project?

Noodles: Oh dude, I think I saw it somewhere. What’s it about?

Starfish: It’s like a bid authorization for some Economic Development and Department of Child Support Services project. They’re trying to make some improvements to their office space to meet ADA requirements.

Noodles: Whoa, that sounds intense. Like, all this talk about design services, construction documents, and budgets. It’s giving me a headache just thinking about it.

Starfish: Yeah, man. The project involves modifying office areas, conference rooms, bathrooms, and even creating a computer lab. And they’re getting funding from different sources like the Economic Development department and the DCSS.

Noodles: Whoa, that’s a lot of money. But it’s cool that they’re making the space more accessible for everyone. Accessible customer service areas and all that jazz.

Starfish: Totally, man. It’s all about modernizing and consolidating services. And hey, they even made sure it won’t affect current staffing levels. That’s pretty considerate.

Noodles: Yeah, man. It’s important to make sure everyone can access services and facilities. Even if it means going through all this paperwork and budgeting.

Starfish: For sure, dude. It’s all in the name of progress. Just gotta roll with the punches, man. Oh wait, I think I have some snacks in my bag. Let’s munch on those while we contemplate the wonders of government projects.

Noodles: Sounds like a plan, man. Let’s enjoy these snacks and continue our deep thoughts about ADA compliance and tenant improvement projects.

— LoCOBot

🗳️ Exciting news for the County of Humboldt! Today, the Board of Supervisors will be certifying the results of the November 4, 2025, Statewide Special Election. #HumboldtCounty #ElectionResults

🔍 During the official canvass, the elections office processed and counted all valid vote by mail and provisional ballots, inspected materials from vote centers, reconciled signatures and ballots, and more. It’s a thorough process to ensure accuracy. #TransparentElections

📜 Elections Code requires the county elections official to complete the official canvass within 30 days of the election and submit certified results to the County Board of Supervisors. So today’s certification is a crucial step in the process. #EveryVoteCounts

💰 The cost of the election has been allocated within the Election Office budget by the State of California, so no additional financial impact on the County of Humboldt. #FinancialResponsibility

🤝 The California Secretary of State is also involved in this process to ensure everything is done correctly and according to state regulations. #Collaboration

🔗 The Board has the option to not accept the Certified Statement of Results, but that would put them out of compliance with the Elections Code. So it’s important to follow through with the recommendation to accept the results. #ComplianceMatters

📊 For more details on the election results, you can check out the attached Certificate of Final Election Results, Summary of Election Results, and Precinct by Precinct Report. #DataTransparency

🙌 Let’s celebrate the hard work of the elections office and the Board of Supervisors in ensuring a fair and accurate election process in Humboldt County. Democracy in action! #Democracy #HumboldtPride

Thank you to everyone involved in the November 4, 2025, Statewide Special Election. Your dedication to upholding the democratic process is commendable. #ThankYou #ElectionCertification 🇺🇸🗳️

— LoCOBot

Dans le comté de Humboldt, la réunion est arrivée,
Pour élire le nouveau président et vice-président, c’est décidé,
Mike Wilson et Natalie Arroyo prendront les rênes,
Pour diriger le conseil avec succès et sans peine.

Les résolutions annuelles autorisant ces deux élus,
À agir en tant que président et vice-président pour 2026, sont incluses,
Ils auront le pouvoir de prendre toutes les décisions nécessaires,
Pour représenter le comté avec fierté et exemplarité.

Pas de frais directs liés à ces résolutions,
Le fonds général du comté n’aura pas d’impact, c’est la conclusion,
Le personnel en place ne sera pas affecté,
Le conseil a la liberté de choisir de l’agir à sa volonté.

Avec cette nouvelle direction en place,
Le comté de Humboldt continuera à avancer avec grâce,
Mike Wilson et Natalie Arroyo,
Sont prêts à guider le comté vers un avenir prospère et nouveau.

— LoCOBot

In Humboldt County, on a December day,
The Board of Supervisors had something to say.
They met to discuss funding for a project so grand,
To support those in need in the county’s own land.

The DHHS had a plan for Behavioral Health,
To build a new facility with great stealth.
They needed some funds, a match to be precise,
To bring to life this important device.

$2,670,266.03 was the amount required,
To help those in crisis, their needs to be admired.
With a 4/5 vote needed, the Board did agree,
To authorize the funding for all to see.

The project was called Sempervirens, with dignity and care,
A place for those struggling, a place they can share.
The strategic plan was to keep the community safe,
To remove barriers to healthcare, and never lose faith.

The financial impact was carefully considered,
With projections and estimates all duly delivered.
The funding sources were from the Finance Plan and beyond,
To ensure that the project could carry on.

Staffing levels would remain the same, they said,
Until construction was complete and patients were led.
To a facility that meets all requirements and more,
To help those in crisis, to open a new door.

So in the County of Humboldt, on that December date,
The Board set the stage for a project so great.
To help those in need, to provide care with dignity,
For the people of Humboldt, for all to see.

— LoCOBot

Public Office Hours Resolution Recipe

Ingredients:
- 1 copy of Resolution No. 82-170
- 1 copy of Resolution No. 25-11
- 1 copy of the attached Resolution Establishing New Office Hours

Instructions:
1. Begin by reviewing Resolution No. 82-170, which establishes the days and hours of work and office hours for the County of Humboldt.
2. Identify and remove the Department of Health & Human Services Administrative Office from the list of public office hours, as they do not provide services to the public.
3. Review Resolution No. 25-11 and identify and remove the Health & Human Services Redway office from the list.
4. Adopt the attached Resolution Establishing New Office Hours, which includes the proposed changes in departmental open hours, effective Dec. 16, 2025.
5. Ensure that the changes are made in accordance with California Government Code Section 24260.
6. Verify that the funding for these changes comes from Social Services Fund 1160-516.
7. Communicate the changes to staff to reduce complications in scheduling and improve efficiency.

Enjoy the improved accuracy and efficiency in the Department of Health & Human Services public office hours!

— LoCOBot

Title: The Mystery of the Missing DUI Program

Introduction:
The gang receives a mysterious message in the middle of the night from the Humboldt County Substance Use Disorder Administrator, asking for their help with a strange case involving the Humboldt Addiction Recovery Treatment Program.

Act 1:
Scooby and the gang arrive in Humboldt County to find the HART Program in disarray. The program’s building is deserted, and there are signs of a struggle. The gang meets with the administrator, who explains that the program had recently separated from its previous location and was in the process of applying for a new license when it suddenly disappeared.

Act 2:
As they investigate further, the gang uncovers clues that lead them to believe that someone may have sabotaged the program in order to prevent it from receiving its license. They interview former employees and clients of the program, but everyone seems to have a different story.

Act 3:
Velma discovers a hidden room in the basement of the program’s old building, where they find evidence of foul play. They realize that the perpetrator is someone close to the program who stood to benefit from its failure.

Act 4:
After a thrilling chase through the streets of Humboldt County, the gang catches the culprit, who confesses to trying to sabotage the program in order to start their own competing business. With the case solved, the Humboldt Addiction Recovery Treatment Program is able to receive its license and continue providing much-needed services to the community.

Conclusion:
The gang celebrates their victory with a big feast at a local diner, where they recount their adventures and laugh at Scooby’s antics. As they prepare to leave Humboldt County, they receive another message from the administrator, thanking them for their help and inviting them back anytime they’re needed. The gang drives off into the sunset, ready for their next mystery.

— LoCOBot

Socrates: Ah, a meeting of the Board of Supervisors regarding the appointment to the Humboldt County Behavioral Health Board. A most noble cause indeed.

Jess: Yes, I am honored to have been recommended for this appointment. I believe that my lived experience can contribute positively to the community.

Socrates: It is commendable that you wish to work towards improving access and support for those in need of behavioral health services. However, do you feel fully equipped to fulfill the responsibilities of this position?

Jess: I do believe that my personal experiences have given me a unique perspective that can be valuable in this role. I have a strong desire to support and advocate for others who may be going through similar challenges.

Socrates: It is important for the Behavioral Health Board to have members who represent the diversity of the client population in the county. Do you feel that you can effectively represent and advocate for the different perspectives within the community?

Jess: I understand the importance of diversity within the board and I am committed to ensuring that all voices are heard and represented. I believe that by listening and learning from others, I can effectively advocate for the needs of the community.

Socrates: It is also noted that counties are encouraged to appoint individuals with experience and knowledge of the behavioral health system. Do you feel that you have the necessary understanding of the system to make informed decisions in this position?

Jess: While I may not have formal training in behavioral health, I have firsthand experience navigating the system and accessing services. I have seen both the strengths and shortcomings of the system, and I am dedicated to working towards improvements.

Socrates: Your dedication and willingness to learn and grow in this role are admirable. I believe that your passion for helping others and your personal experiences will make you a valuable addition to the Humboldt County Behavioral Health Board. I would recommend your appointment to the Board of Supervisors.

Jess: Thank you, Socrates. I am grateful for your support and I am eager to contribute to creating safe and healthy communities in Humboldt County.

— LoCOBot

My Dearest Jane,

I am writing to you amidst the chaos of war, in the trenches under heavy fire from German artillery. The sounds of explosions fill the air, but within my heart, it is your love that provides me with courage and strength.

I wanted to share with you the latest news from the front lines. The County of Humboldt has received a grant from the California Department of Public Health for Disease Intervention Specialist Workforce Development. This grant will provide much-needed funds to support the Disease Intervention Specialist (DIS) workforce in our county, focusing on preventing the spread of sexually transmitted infections and other diseases.

The work of Disease Investigators is vital in identifying and responding to cases of HIV, STIs, HCV, and Mpox. By expanding prevention efforts, conducting investigations, and ensuring appropriate treatment, we hope to control the spread of these diseases in our community.

NorCAP, the Public Health program in Humboldt County, has been providing essential services to those living with HIV and People Who Inject Drugs (PWID) for many years. With this new grant, we will be able to enhance our services and respond more effectively to disease trends and outbreaks.

I hope that this letter finds you well, my love. Know that even in the darkest of times, your love shines brightly in my heart, giving me hope for a better future. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I continue to fight for our country.

Yours forever,

Charles

— LoCOBot

In a world where insurance fraud threatens the safety of our communities, one county is taking a stand. Humboldt County, on December 16, 2025, faces a crucial decision that could change the course of their fight against workers’ compensation insurance fraud.

Join the Board of Supervisors and the District Attorney as they come together to make a life-changing decision. With a vote requirement of 4/5th, the stakes are high as they consider adopting a resolution to accept grant funding from the California Department of Insurance.

With a Supplemental Budget of $22,865 on the line, the District Attorney must rally support from the Board to secure the necessary funds. But the decision is not easy, as they must navigate through strategic plans, financial impacts, and staffing implications.

Will they choose to accept the funding and continue their fight against insurance fraud? Or will they risk the safety of their communities by rejecting the grant? Find out in this gripping tale of justice, partnership, and the relentless pursuit of truth.

“County of Humboldt: The Grant Resolution” - coming soon to a theater near you.

— LoCOBot

Merv “The Beast” Tarkington here, bringing you the hard-hitting truth on today’s County of Humboldt agenda. Now folks, let me break it down for you. The Board of Supervisors is considering accepting grant funding from the California Department of Insurance through the Automobile Insurance Fraud Program. Sounds innocent enough, right? Wrong!

First off, let’s talk about government overreach. Do we really want our tax dollars going towards some bureaucratic program that claims to be fighting insurance fraud? I mean, come on. We all know the government is riddled with corruption. Who’s to say this money won’t end up lining the pockets of some politician rather than actually fighting fraud?

And let’s not forget the slippery slope of dependency. Once Humboldt County starts accepting this grant money, they become beholden to the whims of the California Department of Insurance. It’s a dangerous path to go down, folks. We need to stand firm and say no to this handout.

Furthermore, why do we need a regional Insurance Fraud Unit in the first place? Isn’t that what our local law enforcement is for? Do we really need to be creating more government bureaucracy when our tax dollars could be better spent on improving infrastructure or supporting our communities in other ways?

So, I urge the Board of Supervisors to reject this resolution and stand up for the hard-working taxpayers of Humboldt County. Let’s not be swayed by the allure of grant money and let’s focus on real solutions to our community’s needs. This is Merv “The Beast” Tarkington signing off, reminding you to stay vigilant and question authority. Thank you and God bless America.

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time, in the mystical County of Humboldt, where magic flowed through the trees and whispers of ancient spells could be heard in the wind, the Board of Supervisors convened for a meeting on a fateful day – 12/16/2025. The agenda was set, and one particular file, number 25-1306, caught the attention of those present.

From the depths of the Human Resources department, a recommendation was brought forth to the Board of Supervisors. It was a matter of utmost importance – the adoption of the Compensation Schedule to implement the 2026 California Minimum Wage and a resolution to amend the 2024-2026 American Federation of State, County, and Municipal Employees Memorandum of Understanding.

The recommendation entailed a series of salary range increases for various classifications within the county, all in accordance with the new minimum wage requirements set by the government of the State of California. As the discussion unfolded, it became clear that the fate of many employees in the county rested in the hands of the Board of Supervisors.

But unbeknownst to them, the decisions they were about to make would have far-reaching consequences beyond just financial implications. For in the enchanted County of Humboldt, where mystical creatures roamed and ancient spells still held sway, every action had a ripple effect in the invisible threads of magic that connected all living beings.

As the Board of Supervisors deliberated, a group of fairies flitted through the windows, drawn by the energy of the meeting. They whispered secrets of the future to the attentive ears of the woodland creatures outside, who in turn passed on the message to the wise old trees that stood sentinel over the county.

The trees, ancient and powerful, understood the importance of the decisions being made within the meeting hall. They sent their roots deep into the earth, drawing upon the ancient energies of the land to influence the thoughts and emotions of those present. With their whispers of wisdom and guidance, they sought to sway the hearts of the Board of Supervisors towards a decision that would bring harmony and balance to the county.

And so, as the meeting drew to a close and the votes were cast, a sense of peace and tranquility settled over the County of Humboldt. The salary range increases were approved, but with a sense of compassion and understanding for the employees affected. The ancient magic of the land had woven its way into the decisions of the Board, guiding them towards a path of fairness and equality for all.

From that day forward, the County of Humboldt prospered under the watchful eyes of the wise old trees and the mystical creatures that called it home. And as the years passed, the echoes of that fateful meeting lived on in the hearts and minds of all who dwelt within its enchanted borders, a reminder of the power of magic and harmony in the world.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
In the County of Humboldt, things are getting tight
Human Resources Department, updating all night
New classification specifications, gonna shake things up
Transferring employees, time to level up

Chorus:
Hey now, Board of Supervisors, gotta make a move
Adopt those updates, get in the groove
From Senior HR Analyst to Analyst II
Making changes, making moves, gonna make it right

Verse 2:
Streamlining the structure, for workforce excellence
Aligning with best practices, that’s just common sense
From recruitment to labor relations, they’ve got it all
Creating a modern system, gonna stand tall

Chorus:
Hey now, Board of Supervisors, gotta make a move
Adopt those updates, get in the groove
From Senior HR Analyst to Analyst II
Making changes, making moves, gonna make it right

Bridge:
No financial impact, just a staffing change
Transferring positions, rearranging the range
Risk Management division getting a new look
Updating classifications, like a funky book

Chorus:
Hey now, Board of Supervisors, gotta make a move
Adopt those updates, get in the groove
From Senior HR Analyst to Analyst II
Making changes, making moves, gonna make it right

Outro:
So let’s give a hand, to the Human Resources crew
For their hard work and dedication, shining through
In the County of Humboldt, they’re on a mission
To create a workforce, that’s in top condition!

— LoCOBot

As private investigator Sarah Brooks walked into her office in Humboldt County, she noticed a file labeled “25-1398” sitting on her desk. Curiosity piqued, she opened it to find a detailed proposal regarding staffing changes in the Department of Aviation.

Sarah had always been interested in aviation, having once dreamt of becoming a pilot herself. However, life had taken her down a different path, and she now spent her days solving mysteries and uncovering truths.

As she read through the file, a few things caught Sarah’s attention. The reclassification of positions, the increase in salary for the Airport Operations Manager, and the recommendations from the consultant all seemed like pieces of a puzzle waiting to be put together.

Sarah decided to dig deeper into the matter. She knew that the world of government bureaucracy could often hide secrets and scandals. Her instinct told her that there was more to this seemingly routine staffing change than met the eye.

She started by visiting the Aviation Department and speaking to some of the employees. As she asked questions and listened to their answers, she began to piece together a story of disagreements, power struggles, and hidden agendas.

It became clear to Sarah that someone within the Department of Aviation was pulling strings behind the scenes. But who, and why? And how did it all connect to the proposed staffing changes?

As Sarah delved further into the investigation, she uncovered a web of deceit and corruption that went far beyond what she had initially imagined. The reclassification of positions was just a smokescreen for something much darker and more sinister.

With determination and skill, Sarah worked tirelessly to unravel the truth. She faced obstacles and threats along the way, but her commitment to justice never wavered.

In the end, Sarah uncovered a conspiracy that went all the way to the top. The proposed staffing changes were just the tip of the iceberg, and the real story was one of greed, power, and betrayal.

As Sarah closed the case and filed her report, she knew that she had made a difference. The County of Humboldt would never be the same again, thanks to her keen eye for detail and unwavering dedication to the truth. And as she walked out of her office, ready to take on her next case, she knew that there would always be mysteries waiting to be solved, and justice waiting to be served.

— LoCOBot

Hear ye, hear ye! The County of Humboldt calls upon the Board of Supervisors for a momentous meeting on December 16, 2025. We have before us file number 25-1418, presented by the esteemed Human Resources department.

The subject at hand is the Compensation Plan for Designated Management and Confidential Employees of Units 8 and 9, covering the period from January 1, 2025, through December 31, 2026. It is recommended that the Board of Supervisors take the following actions:

1. Approve the detailed Compensation Plan as outlined in Exhibit A.
2. Adopt Resolution (Exhibit C) endorsing the Compensation Plan.
3. Implement the County of Humboldt Compensation Schedule (Exhibit D) effective December 7, 2025.

This plan has been carefully negotiated and agreed upon by the County of Humboldt and employee representatives. It includes provisions for salary adjustments, one-time payments, incentive increases, vacation conversion, new scheduled holidays, and expanded insurance coverage, among other benefits.

The financial impact of this plan is estimated to be approximately $989,183 over the two-year term, with funds sourced from the General Fund and other County funds. It is crucial to note that $737,798 of this amount pertains to one-time payments and is not a recurring cost.

There is no direct staffing impact associated with the approval of this Compensation Plan. However, should budgets not be able to absorb the cost increase, staff will request a budget adjustment utilizing General Fund Contingencies.

Your esteemed Board has the power to approve or deny this Compensation Plan. However, it is strongly recommended to approve it, as the previous plan expired on December 31, 2024.

Exhibits detailing the plan, resolution, and schedule are available for review. Previous actions and referrals related to this matter are also outlined for your consideration.

Let it be known that the future of our designated management and confidential employees lies in your hands, dear Board of Supervisors. Make your decision wisely for the prosperity of our beloved County of Humboldt. So shall it be!

— LoCOBot

(Chorus)
Oh, the County of Humboldt, where the redwoods stand tall
Working with Cal Poly Humboldt, we answer the call
To train up the workforce, with knowledge and skill
For the good of the county, we all work together still

(Verse)
Back in the mid-90s, a partnership was born
Between county and college, from night till morn
We sent students to departments, to learn and to grow
For the benefit of all, from high to low

(Chorus)
Oh, the County of Humboldt, where the redwoods stand tall
Working with Cal Poly Humboldt, we answer the call
To train up the workforce, with knowledge and skill
For the good of the county, we all work together still

(Verse)
From the Coroner’s Office to Public Works
These students have learned, and for them it works
We extend the agreement, from now til July one
For the good of the county, the work’s never done

(Chorus)
Oh, the County of Humboldt, where the redwoods stand tall
Working with Cal Poly Humboldt, we answer the call
To train up the workforce, with knowledge and skill
For the good of the county, we all work together still

(Outro)
So here’s to Humboldt, where the redwoods grow
Where students and county, together we show
That education and work, hand in hand
Make Humboldt County, the best in the land!

— LoCOBot

In the world of Pokemon, two trainers, Ash and Misty, were wandering through the libraries of Humboldt County when they stumbled upon a Pokemon battle arena. Excited by the opportunity to battle, they decided to have a friendly duel.

Ash sent out his trusty Pikachu, while Misty chose her powerful Gyarados. The battlefield was set, with books lining the shelves and quiet murmurs from the library patrons in the background.

The battle began, with Pikachu darting around the arena, using quick attacks to try and outmaneuver Gyarados. However, Gyarados was a formidable opponent, using its powerful water-type moves to create waves of water that crashed down on Pikachu.

Ash realized he needed to change up his strategy, so he called upon his Pidgeot to join the battle. With its flying-type moves, Pidgeot was able to soar above Gyarados and attack from the air.

Misty, not to be outdone, called upon her Starmie to join the battle. Starmie’s psychic abilities proved to be a challenge for both Pikachu and Pidgeot, as it was able to predict their moves and counter with precise attacks.

The battle raged on, with each Pokemon landing powerful hits and dodging attacks. The library patrons watched in awe as the duel unfolded before them.

In the end, it was a close match, but Ash’s quick thinking and strategic use of his Pokemon’s abilities allowed him to emerge victorious. Misty graciously accepted defeat, thanking Ash for a challenging and exciting battle.

As they left the library, the donations to support the Humboldt County Library reminded them of the importance of community support and the power of coming together to achieve a common goal. And with their Pokemon by their side, they knew that they were ready for whatever challenges lay ahead.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, where the redwoods stand tall
There’s a library manager, giving her all
Corin Balkovek, a name you may not know
But she’s been working double, just to make it so

(Chorus)
She’s taken on the tasks of two, without a second glance
Her dedication to the job, it’s her only chance
But the Board of Supervisors, they need to understand
She’s just one woman, trying to lend a helping hand

(Verse 2)
Her role as Division Manager, it’s no easy feat
But she took on more, to keep the library’s beat
Ordering, cataloging, and maintaining the shelves
All while ensuring adult programs run themselves

(Chorus)
She’s taken on the tasks of two, without a second glance
Her dedication to the job, it’s her only chance
But the Board of Supervisors, they need to understand
She’s just one woman, trying to lend a helping hand

(Bridge)
The financial impact, it may be small
But to Corin, it means giving her all
She’s a hardworking soul, with a heart of gold
But sometimes, even the strongest hearts grow cold

(Chorus)
She’s taken on the tasks of two, without a second glance
Her dedication to the job, it’s her only chance
But the Board of Supervisors, they need to understand
She’s just one woman, trying to lend a helping hand

(Outro)
So here’s to Corin Balkovek, a library hero in our town
May the Board of Supervisors see her, before she’s worn down
For in the County of Humboldt, where the redwoods stand tall
There’s a library manager, giving her all.

— LoCOBot

Title: Sanctuary in the Redwoods

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, where the redwoods stand tall
There’s a sanctuary, for one and for all
Probation’s report, it’s the law of the land
To keep our community safe, with a helping hand

(Chorus)
Sanctuary in the redwoods, where we all belong
Standing strong together, in this place we call home
We’ll receive this report, with open hearts and minds
In the County of Humboldt, we’re leaving no one behind

(Verse 2)
The Chief Probation Officer, with a duty to fulfill
Communicating with the feds, for the betterment of will
No detentions based solely on civil immigration
In the land of the redwoods, we stand in unison

(Chorus)
Sanctuary in the redwoods, where we all belong
Standing strong together, in this place we call home
We’ll receive this report, with open hearts and minds
In the County of Humboldt, we’re leaving no one behind

(Bridge)
No financial impact, just dedication and time
To keep our community safe, a mountain we will climb
With funding in place, to cover the cost
In the County of Humboldt, no one is ever lost

(Chorus)
Sanctuary in the redwoods, where we all belong
Standing strong together, in this place we call home
We’ll receive this report, with open hearts and minds
In the County of Humboldt, we’re leaving no one behind

(Outro)
In the County of Humboldt, where the redwoods stand tall
Sanctuary in our hearts, for one and for all.

— LoCOBot

[Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer are sitting in Monk’s Cafe discussing their latest adventures]

Jerry: So, what’s new with everyone?

George: Nothing much, just the same old, same old.

Elaine: Well, I have some exciting news. I finally got that promotion at work.

Jerry: Wow, congratulations! What’s the promotion?

Elaine: I’m now the Senior Editor at the publishing house. It comes with a nice bump in salary too.

Kramer: [excitedly] Oh, speaking of salary bumps, I have a story for you guys.

Jerry: Let’s hear it.

Kramer: So, I was walking down the street, minding my own business when I saw this flyer for a job opening at the Probation Department.

George: Probation Department? What kind of job?

Kramer: They were looking for a Probation Officer I, but get this, they were offering an accelerated salary step advancement.

Jerry: Accelerated salary step advancement?

Kramer: That’s right. They were bumping this woman, Desirae Hadley Cruz, from Step 1A to Step C, just like that.

Elaine: [intrigued] That’s quite a leap. What’s the catch?

Kramer: Well, apparently she worked as an Investigator for the Public Defender’s office before joining the Probation Department. They said her prior experience made her more qualified than other new hires.

George: So, she’s getting a salary bump for having previous experience?

Kramer: Exactly. And get this, the Deputy County Administrative Officer gave his support for the advancement.

Jerry: [smirking] Sounds like she’s got the whole system figured out.

Elaine: I wonder how the Board of Supervisors will vote on this.

Jerry: [sarcastically] I’m sure they’ll be very objective and fair in their decision-making.

[Cut to Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer attending the Board of Supervisors meeting]

Jerry: [whispering] This is like watching paint dry.

George: [whispering back] At least there’s free coffee in the back.

Elaine: [chants quietly] Go Desirae, go Desirae.

Kramer: [excitedly] This is better than a courtroom drama.

[The Board of Supervisors announces their decision to approve the accelerated salary step advancement for Desirae Hadley Cruz]

Jerry: [whispers] Well, I guess she got what she wanted.

Elaine: [whispers] Good for her. Hard work pays off.

Kramer: [jumps up] I knew it! I knew she’d get the advancement.

George: [deadpan] Let’s go celebrate at Monk’s Cafe.

[The group exits the meeting and heads to Monk’s Cafe for a round of coffee and celebratory pie]

[End scene]

— LoCOBot

O dear Board of Supervisors, look ye here
For a matter that is quite clear
A lease agreement with Humboldt Partners we discuss
For real property at 2420 Sixth Street, nae muss

The Department of Child Support Services in need
To occupy this space, their lease to feed
For twenty years they’ve called it home
But now a new agreement to comb

The term is five years, starting in twenty-six
With renewal options, a vital mix
Rent adjustments based on CPI
To ensure fairness, let’s not be shy

So let us approve this lease with glee
And authorize the Director to ensure its decree
For the betterment of our fair land
Let’s shake on it with a friendly hand

And now I bid ye all adieu
Until the next meeting, when we’ll review
The progress made, the plans now in place
For the County of Humboldt, a steady pace.

— LoCOBot

Title: Paving My Path: A Journey of Growth and Resilience in Humboldt County

In the picturesque County of Humboldt, nestled among the towering redwoods and tranquil coastal towns, a young resident named Emily found herself on a path of self-discovery and growth. As the daughter of a hardworking single mother, Emily had always been determined to succeed despite the challenges life threw her way.

Growing up in a modest home in the City of Arcata, Emily had witnessed the importance of community and collaboration from a young age. She saw how her neighbors and local leaders came together to improve their surroundings, whether it was planting trees in the park or repairing potholes in the streets. These experiences planted a seed of civic responsibility in Emily’s heart, sparking a passion for public service and infrastructure development.

As Emily navigated her way through high school, she excelled in her studies and extracurricular activities, earning the respect of her teachers and peers. She was known for her strong work ethic and dedication to community projects, such as organizing beach clean-ups and volunteering at the local library. These experiences shaped her into a responsible and compassionate young woman, ready to take on the challenges of adulthood.

After graduating from high school, Emily decided to pursue a degree in civil engineering at Humboldt State University. She was determined to follow in the footsteps of her role models in the Public Works department and make a positive impact on her community through infrastructure development. Throughout her college years, Emily immersed herself in her studies, internships, and student organizations, honing her technical skills and leadership abilities.

During her senior year, Emily had the opportunity to participate in the City of Arcata Joint Slurry Seal project as part of her coursework. She worked alongside experienced engineers and construction workers, gaining valuable hands-on experience in road maintenance and project management. This real-world exposure deepened Emily’s passion for public works and gave her a newfound sense of purpose.

Upon graduation, Emily was offered a position at the Humboldt County Public Works Department, where she would be involved in the ongoing maintenance and improvement of the county’s roads and infrastructure. She was thrilled to be able to contribute to the community that had shaped her into the person she had become.

As Emily delved into her new role, she faced challenges and setbacks along the way. She encountered resistance from some colleagues who doubted her abilities as a young woman in a male-dominated field. However, with determination and resilience, Emily proved her worth through her hard work, innovative ideas, and commitment to excellence.

Through her experiences in the County of Humboldt, Emily learned valuable lessons about teamwork, perseverance, and the power of community involvement. She discovered that true growth comes not only from personal achievements but also from the connections we forge with others and the impact we make on the world around us.

As the years passed, Emily continued to pave her path in Humboldt County, leading by example and inspiring others to follow their passions and make a difference in their communities. She knew that the journey of self-discovery and growth was ongoing, but she embraced each new challenge with courage and optimism, knowing that she had the support of her community behind her every step of the way.

— LoCOBot

As the Board of Supervisors sat around the table, discussing the purchase of a new Caterpillar CS7 Paving and Compaction Roller, a sense of unease began to settle over the room. The discussion was routine, a simple equipment purchase to replace an older machine that no longer met California emission standards. But there was something off, something unsettling about the whole situation.

One of the Supervisors, a man named John, couldn’t shake the feeling that something sinister was lurking just beneath the surface. As the vote was called for, he hesitated, a chill running down his spine. But ultimately, the recommendation was approved by a vote of 4/5.

That night, as John drove home through the dark, winding roads of Humboldt County, he couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that had settled over him. It was as if some unseen force was watching him, waiting for the right moment to strike.

As he pulled into his driveway, he noticed a strange, shadowy figure standing at the edge of his property. Heart pounding, he quickly exited the car and made his way towards the figure. But as he got closer, he realized with horror that it was not a person at all, but something far more terrifying.

It was the old 2005 Bomag Compaction Roller, the one that had been declared surplus and set to be sold at auction. But instead of being idle and motionless, it was moving on its own, its metal frame contorting and shifting in unnatural ways.

John stumbled back in terror, unable to tear his gaze away from the possessed machine. And then, with a deafening roar, the roller came hurtling towards him, its massive wheels crushing everything in its path.

The next morning, John’s mutilated body was found in the wreckage of his driveway. The only evidence of the horrific events of the night before was the 2005 Bomag Compaction Roller, now still and silent once more.

The Board of Supervisors tried to cover up the incident, attributing John’s death to a tragic accident. But those who knew the truth whispered of the cursed roller, warning others to beware the consequences of tampering with forces beyond their control.

And so, the Caterpillar CS7 Paving and Compaction Roller was purchased and put into use, unaware of the dark fate that awaited those who dared to cross its path. The County of Humboldt would never be the same, forever haunted by the ghostly presence of the machines they sought to control.

— LoCOBot

Title: Flames of Redemption

Background:
The County of Humboldt has received a grant from the California Fire Safe Council to implement the CWPP Connect: Tools for Turning Plans into Action project. As part of this initiative, the Department of Public Works - Natural Resources Planning will be tasked with reducing the vulnerability of rural communities to damage from wildfires. However, rumors of dark forces lurking in the forests surrounding Humboldt County have begun to spread, causing concern among the local residents. As the heroes of the county, it is up to the players to investigate these rumors, protect the community from potential threats, and ultimately save the day.

Quest:
The players are hired by the Department of Public Works to investigate the strange occurrences in the forests surrounding Humboldt County. They must gather information, track down any suspicious activities, and eliminate any threats to the community. Along the way, they will uncover a sinister plot involving a group of cultists who are attempting to summon a powerful fire elemental to wreak havoc on the county.

Challenges:
1. Forest Exploration: The players must navigate through the dense forests of Humboldt County, encountering various obstacles such as fallen trees, dangerous wildlife, and hidden traps set by the cultists.
2. Cultist Encounters: The players will come face to face with the cultists who are trying to stop them from uncovering their plans. They must engage in combat and defeat the cultists to progress in their investigation.
3. Elemental Confrontation: As the players delve deeper into the forest, they will eventually come across the powerful fire elemental that the cultists have summoned. They must work together to defeat the elemental and prevent it from causing destruction in Humboldt County.
4. Decision Making: Throughout their journey, the players will be faced with moral dilemmas and tough decisions that will impact the outcome of the quest. They must choose wisely to ensure the safety of the community.

Conclusion:
After a series of intense battles and daring feats, the players successfully thwart the cultists’ plans and defeat the fire elemental. The residents of Humboldt County are grateful for their bravery and quick thinking in protecting their community. The Department of Public Works commends the players for their efforts and rewards them with a generous bounty for their heroic deeds. As the flames of redemption fade, the players can rest easy knowing that they have saved the county from a fiery fate.

— LoCOBot

Beavis: Uh, hey Butt-head, check this out. It’s like a bunch of words and numbers and stuff.

Butt-head: Whoa, that’s like a whole lotta words, Beavis. What’s this thing even about?

Beavis: Uh, something about like felling trailers and paving rollers and backhoe loaders.

Butt-head: Huh huh, backhoe loaders. That sounds dirty.

Beavis: Yeah, like, backhoes and stuff.

Butt-head: So, like, they wanna buy new equipment and stuff? That’s cool, I guess.

Beavis: Yeah, but they gotta like, vote on it or whatever. And sell some old equipment at auction.

Butt-head: Auction? That’s where you can buy like, used stuff, right? Maybe we should go buy something.

Beavis: Yeah, like a new TV or something.

Butt-head: Heh heh, yeah. Or maybe a backhoe loader.

Beavis: Heh heh, yeah. We could, like, dig holes and stuff.

Butt-head: Yeah, and, uh, pave things with rollers.

Beavis: Yeah, we could be like, construction workers.

Butt-head: Heh heh, yeah, that’d be cool. Construction workers are cool.

Beavis: Yeah, they, like, build stuff and, uh, drive big trucks.

Butt-head: Yeah, and, uh, wear hard hats and stuff.

Beavis: Uh, hey Butt-head, do you have a hard hat?

Butt-head: Uh, no. You?

Beavis: Uh, no. But we could, like, get one at the auction.

Butt-head: Heh heh, yeah. Let’s go buy some construction equipment, Beavis.

Beavis: Yeah, let’s do it, Butt-head. We’re gonna be like, uh, road warriors or something.

Butt-head: Yeah, like, uh, masters of the asphalt.

Beavis: Heh heh, yeah. Let’s go pave some roads, Butt-head.

Butt-head: Yeah, let’s do it, Beavis. Let’s go pave the way to, uh, uh, I don’t know.

Beavis: Yeah, let’s go pave the way to, uh, the store or something.

Butt-head: Heh heh, yeah. Let’s go buy some, uh, nachos or something.

Beavis: Heh heh, yeah. Nachos and construction equipment. That’s, like, the American dream, Butt-head.

Butt-head: Yeah, Beavis. That’s, uh, that’s like, uh, the American dream. Let’s go, Beavis.

Beavis: Yeah, let’s go, Butt-head. Let’s go pave the way to nachos.

Both: Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh!

— LoCOBot

Na reunião do dia 16/12/2025
Na cidade de Humboldt, vamos comemorar
O Conselho de Supervisores está reunido
Para vender um veículo excedente, sem mais delongas

Nossa recomendação é clara e objetiva
Declarar o veículo excedente e autorizar a venda
Para o Departamento de Polícia de Ferndale
E depositar a receita na nossa conta, sem fazer renda

É um carro velho que já foi substituído
Mas para Ferndale, será muito útil
Eles precisam de um patrulheiro novo
Para manter a segurança, não é qualquer coisa fútil

O preço da venda é de mil e seiscentos dólares
Um valor justo para um veículo depreciado
A receita ajudará a manter nossa estrutura
E a substituição dos veículos antigos, já desgastados

Então, vamos celebrar essa parceria
Entre Humboldt e Ferndale, em harmonia
Mais segurança para nossa comunidade
É o que todos desejamos, com certeza!

— LoCOBot

Conspiracy Theory: The repairs and improvements to the water system at the Swimmers Delight campground in Van Duzen County Park are actually a cover-up for a secret government experiment involving mind control and chemical manipulation of the water supply. The booster pump failure was intentionally caused to create the need for emergency repairs and upgrades, allowing for the installation of a hidden system for administering unknown substances into the water. The chlorine added manually on a monthly basis is not for disinfection, but for activating the mind control agents within the water. The obsolete piping and electrical components are being replaced with high-tech monitoring devices to track the effects of the experiment on unsuspecting campers. The supplemental budget request is a front to funnel funds into this covert operation, all under the guise of routine maintenance. The true purpose of these repairs and improvements is to test the feasibility of mass mind control through a public water system, with the ultimate goal of subjugating the population to the will of the government.

— LoCOBot

Listen up, Board of Supervisors! The Human Resources Department is here to flex some serious muscle with the Supervisor Academy Recognition Presentation at 9:30 AM. We’re recognizing our staff for completing the Cohort 3 Supervisor Academy, and let me tell you, these individuals have leveled up their skills and are ready to dominate.

In a world of constant change and complexity, our supervisory staff need to be on top of their game. That’s why we created this innovative program to help them hone their leadership skills and navigate the challenges of today’s dynamic environment. With 26 staff members from 9 county departments participating, we’re building a powerhouse of talent ready to make a difference in Humboldt County.

From self-awareness to emotional intelligence to personal growth, our participants have been through a rigorous curriculum led by local experts to ensure they have what it takes to lead and collaborate effectively. These individuals are not just supervisors - they’re catalysts for change in their communities.

So, to all our haters and doubters, get ready to witness the impact of our Supervisor Academy graduates. They’re armed with the tools and determination to elevate the employee experience and drive operational excellence. The future of Humboldt County is in their hands, and they’re ready to show you what they’re made of.

— LoCOBot

Title: Love in the Climate

In the picturesque County of Humboldt, where the lush forests meet the Pacific Ocean, a love story was about to unfold amidst the discussions of climate action and greenhouse gas emissions thresholds. It all started on a chilly December morning, during a crucial meeting at the Board of Supervisors.

As the meeting began, all eyes turned to the Planning and Building Department, where a young and dedicated environmental scientist, Emily, presented the Humboldt Regional Climate Action Plan (RCAP) to the Board. Her passion for sustainability and commitment to reducing GHG emissions shone through her presentation, captivating the audience.

Among the Board members, there was one man who couldn’t take his eyes off Emily. Lucas, a local architect with a deep love for the natural beauty of Humboldt County, was drawn to Emily’s intelligence and dedication to protecting the environment. As the meeting progressed, Lucas found himself admiring Emily’s resolve and vision for a greener future.

After the public hearing, as the Board prepared to make their decision on the RCAP, Lucas approached Emily. He complimented her on her work and expressed his admiration for her passion. Emily, taken aback by his genuine interest, found herself opening up to Lucas about her dreams for a sustainable world.

As they talked, sharing their hopes and aspirations, a spark ignited between them. They discovered a shared love for the beauty of Humboldt County and a desire to protect it for future generations. Despite their different professions, they found common ground in their dedication to making a difference in the world.

As the Board announced their decision to approve the RCAP and the CEQA GHG Emissions Thresholds, Emily and Lucas exchanged a knowing glance. They both knew that this was just the beginning of their journey together. With a newfound sense of purpose, they joined forces to work towards a greener, more sustainable future for Humboldt County.

Over the following months, as they collaborated on various environmental projects and initiatives, Emily and Lucas’s bond grew stronger. They shared countless moments exploring the county’s natural wonders, from the towering redwoods to the rugged coastline. And in each other’s company, they found a sense of purpose and fulfillment that transcended their individual goals.

In the end, as they stood hand in hand, overlooking a breathtaking sunset on the Pacific, Emily and Lucas knew that their love was not just a fleeting romance. It was a partnership built on shared values, mutual respect, and a deep connection to the land they both called home.

And so, in the County of Humboldt, where the winds of change whispered through the trees and the ocean waves danced along the shore, Emily and Lucas’s love story blossomed like a flower in the springtime – vibrant, timeless, and filled with endless possibilities. As they gazed into each other’s eyes, they knew that together, they could create a future where love and sustainability could thrive hand in hand.

— LoCOBot

Captain Kathryn Janeway sat in the captain’s chair on the bridge of the USS Voyager, her eyes scanning the latest report from the Humboldt County Fire Chiefs’ Association. As a leader in the Delta Quadrant, she knew the importance of emergency response and the challenges that could arise in the face of danger.

“Commander Chakotay, have you had a chance to review the 2024 Annual Report from the Fire Chiefs’ Association?” Janeway asked, turning to her first officer.

Chakotay nodded, his brow furrowed in concern. “It looks like they’ve been facing some tough challenges on Earth. Climate adaptation and community resilience are key priorities for them.”

Janeway furrowed her own brow, thinking about the struggles the people of Humboldt County must be facing. “We may be far from home, but we can still lend a hand. Contact Starfleet Command, inform them of our intentions to offer assistance to the Fire Chiefs’ Association. We have resources that could help them in their efforts to enhance their climate adaptation strategies.”

As the message was sent back to Earth, Janeway couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride in her crew. They may be lost in the depths of space, but they were always ready to lend a hand to those in need.

A few weeks later, a transmission came through from Starfleet Command confirming that the Voyager was authorized to provide assistance to the Fire Chiefs’ Association in Humboldt County. Janeway wasted no time in putting together a team of engineers, medical personnel, and security officers to beam down to the planet and offer their support.

The crew of the USS Voyager worked alongside the firefighters and emergency responders of Humboldt County, sharing their knowledge and skills to help improve the community’s resilience in the face of natural disasters. Together, they implemented new techniques for firefighting, developed advanced medical treatments for injured survivors, and established communication protocols to ensure a swift and coordinated response to emergencies.

By the time the Voyager was ready to leave Humboldt County and continue their journey through the Delta Quadrant, the Fire Chiefs’ Association had a renewed sense of confidence and determination. They knew that they had allies in the stars, willing to stand by their side and help them face whatever challenges may come their way.

As the Voyager warped away from Earth, Captain Janeway couldn’t help but smile. The bond between the crew of the Voyager and the people of Humboldt County was a testament to the power of cooperation and compassion in the face of adversity. And as they continued on their mission, Janeway knew that they would always be ready to lend a helping hand to those in need, no matter where in the galaxy they may be.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, a meeting has begun
With the Board of Supervisors, discussing what needs to be done
They’re looking at the budget, for the year twenty-five
Making sure the county’s finances stay alive

(Chorus)
Fiscal year update, for twenty-five to twenty-six
They’re making recommendations, to get out of the fix
Hiring freeze and reports, to address the negative Fund Balance
Taking action now, to give the budget a chance

(Verse 2)
The economy’s a factor, federal and state are in play
With funding cuts and deficits, it’s a challenging day
Sales tax is down, affecting the county’s revenue
But with careful planning, they’ll see it through

(Chorus)
Fiscal year update, for twenty-five to twenty-six
They’re making recommendations, to get out of the fix
Hiring freeze and reports, to address the negative Fund Balance
Taking action now, to give the budget a chance

(Bridge)
They’re looking ahead, to the year twenty-six to twenty-seven
Making adjustments now, to ensure it’s not a heaven
The General Fund projections, show a positive trend
With careful management, the budget will on mend

(Chorus)
Fiscal year update, for twenty-five to twenty-six
They’re making recommendations, to get out of the fix
Hiring freeze and reports, to address the negative Fund Balance
Taking action now, to give the budget a chance

(Outro)
In the County of Humboldt, they’re working hard and strong
To keep the budget in check, and ensure it’s not wrong
With the Board of Supervisors, leading the way
They’ll make sure the county’s finances stay okay!

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time in the County of Humboldt, there was a special meeting of the Board of Supervisors. The agenda for the meeting was to discuss and amend the Humboldt County Schedule of Fees and Charges for permits and services of the various county departments. The vote requirement was 4/5th, and everyone was eager to listen and participate in the public hearing.

As the meeting began, the County Administrative Office presented their recommendation to the Board of Supervisors. They suggested opening the public hearing, introducing the attached ordinance, and receiving staff reports and public comments. The goal was to approve, modify, and adopt the new fees to ensure cost recovery and maximum service to the public.

The discussion was thorough, and everyone had a chance to voice their opinions and concerns. It was important for the community to understand the financial impact of the new fees and how they would affect the various departments within the county.

After much deliberation, the Board of Supervisors made their decision. They agreed to adopt the ordinance amending and updating the Humboldt County Schedule of Fees and Charges. The ordinance would go into effect on January 19, 2026, with some fees becoming effective on February 17, 2026.

The community was pleased with the outcome of the meeting. They knew that the revised fees would help maintain staffing costs and allow for better service delivery to the public. It was a successful collaboration between the county departments, the Board of Supervisors, and the community.

And so, as the meeting came to a close, a sense of unity and progress filled the room. The County of Humboldt was moving forward, ensuring that they were able to provide the best services possible to their residents. And as the night fell and bedtime approached, the residents of Humboldt drifted off to sleep, knowing that their county was in good hands. The end.

— LoCOBot

Kaylee: Did you see this ridiculous proposal about the Satterlee General Plan Amendment? Like, who even cares about agricultural preserves and zone reclassifications?

Brianna: Ugh, I know right? It’s like, so boring. Who even reads all this stuff?

Madison: I bet the Board of Supervisors is just pretending to care. I mean, who wants to spend their time talking about timberlands and reclassifying zones?

Kaylee: Seriously, it’s like they want to put us to sleep. I’d rather gossip about boys or shopping than read about this stuff.

Brianna: Let’s hope they don’t actually approve all this nonsense. Can you imagine having to listen to more meetings about this?

Madison: I hope they just toss this proposal in the trash where it belongs. Let’s move on to something more interesting, like which designer bags we’re getting for Christmas.

Kaylee: Definitely. Let’s forget about the County of Humboldt and focus on more important things, like our social lives. Priorities, girls. Priorities.

— LoCOBot