(UPDATING) 2016 Kinetic Awards Winners

Never in the history of Kinetic racing (probably) has there ever been a “three-peat” champion but then again there has never been a team like Tempus Fugitive. The team pulled off their third win in a row with this year’s sculpture Tempus Fugitorium and retained kinetics’ heaviest trophy to the delight of their peers. Glory, glory, hallelujah. 

Below is your komplete list of 2016 award winners:

2016 Kinetic Grand Champions

• Tempus Fugitorium

Best Engineering

• 1st: Trilobike
• 2nd: ¡Luchadores Piñas!
• 3rd: Atomic Funguys

Best Art

• 1st: Planet Nine
• 2nd: Organ Trail: No Guts, No Glory
• 3rd: Kinetic Kootie

Best Speed 

• 1st: Chain Mail
• 2nd: P-Awesome
• 3rd: Trilobike

Best Pageantry 

• 1st: Atomic Funguys
• 2nd: Team Goddess Kinetic Dragonfly
• 3rd: NSA

2016 ACE Award Professors 

• Tempus Fugitorium
• ¡Luchadores Piñas!
• Melvin
• Atomic Funguys
• Trilobike
• Dragonass
• P-Awesome
• Chain Mail
• Bikin’ Fools
• Catch Up
• Bounce For Glory
• Tea Party
• Team Jeep: Golden Flipper

Mediocre Award (For Team That Finishes in the Middle of the Pack)

• Planet Nine (wins a scooter!)

Best Junior Award

• The Humdinger

Best Pit Crew

• IIPA NEMA

Most Paranormal

• Planet Nine

Most Revealed

• Organ Trail: No Guts, No Glory

Most Mythological 

• Dragonass

Best Campsite

• Tea Party

Best Bribe

• Tempus Fugitorium

6:32 Award

• Organ Trail: No Guts, No Glory

Volunteer’s Volunteer

• John Mantle 

Best Volunteer

• Mohat

Lifetime Achievement

• Ginger  

Goddess Jen-O Award

• You’re a Meme One, Mr. Grinch

Port Townsend Award

• Tea Party

Biggest Splash Award

• Team Jeep: Golden Flipper

The Golden Dinosaur Award

• Mad to the Max

The Golden Flipper Award (Water)

• Team Jeep: Golden Flipper 

The Golden Flipper Award (Sand)

• Team Jeep: Golden Flipper 

Most Improved Award

• Kinetic Chicken and Waffles

The Spirit of the Glorious Founder Award

• Kinetic Kootie

The Never Give Up, Poor, Poor Pitiful Me Award

• Bikin’ Fools

One for the Little Guy

• Ominionated

Racers’ Choice Award

• Planet Nine

Second to Last Award

• Eureka High School Loggers Rust Bucket

Spectators’ Favorite

• Atomic Funguys

Teddy Bear Award

• Team Goddess: Kinetic Dragonfly

They Came From Out of Town

• Dragonass

You Clever Rascal (Best Engineering for a Non-ACE Machine)

• Timey-Wimey

The Palace is Going Off

Don’t be fooled. Glory is good but beer is great, and The Palace bar in Ferndale is about a half block past the finish line.

At this point most of the sculptures have crossed the finish line — the stragglers, sadly, have been eliminated from ACE considerations. But they will still be allowed beer.

Here, the Kinetic Brass Band slogs through a rendition of “The Joker.” Because why not?

Day Three Underway

Andrew Goff.

After the most restful night’s sleep of their lives, the racers can see the light at the end of the glory tunnel.

The sculptures are currently making their way back up Cannibal Island Road and on to Fernbridge where they will again enter the water, this time the mighty Eel River just north of the bridge.

The first across by a long shot was You’re a Meme One Mr. Grinch, while P-Awesome, Chain Mail and Sparky are preparing for submersion. Peddle, people!

Scenes From the Queen's Cruise

Her majesty bravely led kinetics teams across the chilly waters of Humboldt Bay this morning. Long live the Rutabaga Queen!

Sculptures Successfully Traverse the Bay

Most teams are Out of the Water and enjoying a quick lunch. KHUM reports that some of the more eager teams are already making Their Way Down the 101.

Out of the 39 sculptures that entered the race this year, only one has dropped out. We’ll keep you posted if anything changes. In the meantime, check out these cool photos from earlier today.

The Queens Cruise has Left the Dock

Day One Comes to a Klose

Photo: AG

Well, 6:32 p.m., the official Day One course closing time, has come and gone. Five or so sculptures — including the aforementioned Kinetic Dragonfly — remain unaccounted for. None of those sculptures therefore qualify to win ACE awards. 

Will Funguy finally secure ACE honors? Will any of this year’s crop of sculptures end up at the bottom of Humboldt Bay during Sunday’s water crossing? Will Ken Biedleman need to tinkle again? Tune in tomorrow for Day Two of LoCO and KHUM’s 2016 Kinetic Koverage. Glory, glory.

To close out today, check out the video below, courtesy Chad Johnson, chroncling the sights and sounds found this morning during the Kinetic Kick-off at the Arcata Plaza. Glory, glory. —AG

Layers Advisory: Wind Makes Things Feel Colder

Photo by Eli Rohl.

KHUM DJs just got off the phone with Caltrans District 1 Public Information Officer Eli Rohl, who confirms that wind will in fact make you feel colder than you would have felt had there been no wind.

Rohl has issued a layers advisory for all spectators who plan to watch adults ride pretty bikes down a sandy hill.

Rohl tells the Outpost that IIPA NIMA and Trilo Bike are the first two sculptures to arrive at the dunes.

And They're Off!

The 2016 Kenetic Grand Championship in Underway. While Arcata Fire district may have sold the noon whistle, Queen Lotta Paint Buckets was some how able to call on some magical, mystical horn from above to sound the glorious beginning of this year’s race. 

Now all the racers have left the Plaza and are moving through the Arcata Bottoms on their way to the Manila Community Center. The sculptures will then switch over to their sand gear to head out into the Manila Dunes.

Don't Fall Off Jacoby's Store House

The Arcata Police Department and Arcata Fire District are freaked out about the idea of a few spectators watching the race from the ledge of Jacoby’s Storehouse.

Emergency personnel put out an announcement over the PA system warning the daring onlookers that falling off the roof is probably a bad idea.

Good Morning, Wackiness Fans!

Kinetic krews are setting up on the Arcata Plaza, readying for the madness to come. Contrary to Humboldt stereotypes, there is bright, weird sunshine emanating from the heavens. Spectators are already lining up along the street, so get here soon to claim adequate gawking space.

LoCO will be wandering the streets taking photos of this year’s sculptures. Stay tuned for eye candy.