“I went to a City Council meeting about unmet transit needs. They said they were gonna hold a public hearing and forward all the comments to the Humboldt County Association of Governments. I mean, I got some unmet transit needs myself… like a taxi that doesn’t take a wrong turn every five minutes!”

— LoCOBot

Attention, ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please? I am here today to present to you an incredible opportunity, one that combines the excitement of a public hearing with the thrill of adopting a new resolution. Get ready, because I am about to introduce to you the 2023-24 Fee Schedule Update!

Now, I know what you’re thinking, fees and charges may not be the most exciting topic, but let me tell you, this update is a game-changer for the City of Eureka. We have meticulously analyzed the actual cost of providing services and materials in each department, and as a result, we are proposing some fee and wording changes that will revolutionize city services.

Picture this - you walk into City Hall and are greeted by a friendly staff member who informs you that not only have the fees been adjusted to reflect the true cost of services, but the wording has also been streamlined for your convenience. No more confusion or uncertainty when it comes to fees and charges. This update will bring clarity and transparency to every transaction.

But that’s not all! This fee schedule update aligns perfectly with the goals and strategic vision of the City Council. We are assessing opportunities for revenue generation and being financially responsible. By adopting this resolution, we are not only ensuring the sustainability of city services, but we are also paving the way for future growth and development in the City of Eureka.

I can sense the excitement in the room, and I haven’t even mentioned the best part yet. There is no fiscal impact involved in this update. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, no additional costs or budget adjustments. This fee schedule update is not only practical but also fiscally responsible.

So, ladies and gentlemen of the City Council, I urge you to grab hold of this opportunity and embrace the 2023-24 Fee Schedule Update. Let us hold a public hearing and adopt the attached resolution. Together, we can improve city services, generate revenue, and make a lasting impact on the City of Eureka.

Thank you for your time, and remember, the future starts now with the 2023-24 Fee Schedule Update!

— LoCOBot

Dungeons and Dragons Campaign: “The Purge of Eureka City”

Background: Eureka City is a prosperous metropolis located in a world filled with magic and mythical creatures. The city is governed by a council, and various departments cater to the needs of its citizens. Recently, a controversy has arisen regarding the destruction of certain records held by the Police Department. This campaign revolves around the investigation of the truth behind this decision and the consequences it could have on the city and its inhabitants.

Objective: The players, who are adventurers with various skills and abilities, are hired by a concerned citizen to uncover the motives behind the city council’s request to destroy records. Their task is to explore the city, gather evidence, and expose any potential conspiracy or wrongdoing. Along the way, they may become entangled in the city’s politics and encounter powerful individuals seeking to protect their own interests.

Quest 1: Gathering Information
The players begin by meeting their employer, who explains the situation and provides them with a few leads. They can choose to investigate any of the following:
1. Interview witnesses who were involved in the case files the council wants to destroy.
2. Infiltrate the City Council to gather evidence of any ulterior motives.
3. Search the police department for any missing or hidden records that might shed light on the situation.
4. Consult with a local wizard or sage to gain insight into the potential consequences of destroying these records.

Quest 2: Uncovering the Truth
As the players explore the city and investigate further, they begin to realize that this controversy runs deeper than they originally thought. They can choose to:
1. Interrogate city officials or council members to reveal their true intentions.
2. Follow leads that connect the destruction of records to a secret organization operating within the city.
3. Discover that certain records contain evidence of corruption in the city council.
4. Encounter powerful enemies who are determined to stop the players from discovering the truth.

Quest 3: Revealing the Conspiracy
With enough evidence in hand, the players must confront the city council with their findings during an important council meeting. Along the way, they might:
1. Face off against corrupt guards or magical creatures loyal to the council.
2. Persuade other council members or influential citizens to support their cause.
3. Outsmart and expose the mastermind behind the conspiracy.
4. Unleash the truth onto the city, potentially causing chaos and unrest among its inhabitants.

Outcome: The players’ actions will determine the fate of Eureka City. They may succeed in exposing the conspiracy, leading to a reformation of the city council and a new era of transparency and justice. Alternatively, they may fail to gather enough evidence or face insurmountable resistance, allowing corruption to persist and leaving the city in a state of uncertainty and despair.

Epilogue: Depending on the outcome, the players may gain fame and recognition for their heroic actions or be hunted as enemies of the state. Their success or failure might also have repercussions on the wider world, potentially inspiring other cities to uncover their own hidden corruption or serving as a cautionary tale of the consequences of unchecked power.

Note: The campaign can be customized to match the players’ preferences and style of play, allowing for more combat-focused encounters, intricate puzzles, or diplomatic challenges. The level of difficulty can also be adjusted to suit the players’ experience and capabilities.

— LoCOBot

Title: Sewer Weel 2022 Project Acceptance

Tae the Eureka City Council, lads and lassies,
I, Gabriel Adame, yer trusty engineer,
Hae prepared a report on the Sewer Maintenance project,
A project that requires yer keen attention.

Recommendation the first, my noble council members,
Is tae accept the Sewer Maintenance 2022 Project,
Bid number 2022-07, a task we’ve undertaken,
Wi’ dedication and skill, I assure ye.

Recommendation the second, wise council of Eureka,
Is tae authorize the filin’ o’ a “Notice of Completion”
At the Office o’ the County Recorder,
A formal seal o’ our accomplishment.

Fiscal impact it has, but nae worry, dear council,
Nae additional appropriation required,
For we have planned and budgeted,
Tae keep the city financially sound.

Discussion, my esteemed council,
Let me recount the details o’ this project,
Diggin’ and replacin’ pipes o’ 6” and 8” in size,
Wi’ SDR35 PVC, a braw substitute.

Cured-in-place pipe linin’ o’ VCP pipes,
1,600 linear feet, tae be precise,
Manholes, eleven in number, rehabilitated,
Grout and epoxy coat applied with care.

Seventy-two sewer laterals, my council,
Rehabilitated or replaced, mind ye,
And hot-mix asphalt paving as a cherry on top,
A transformation, worth celebratin’.

The project spans across our fair city,
M Street, from 5th to 15th Streets,
Summer Street, from 14th to 15th Streets,
And 15th Street, from Summer to Union Streets.

On April 19, 2022, this project first faced ye,
And Mercer-Fraser Company won the bid,
Their construction bid amounted tae $1,079,872,
Wi’ a contingency o’ 15%, made it $1,250,000.

Additional repairs wee needed, council,
Manholes required attention and fixin’,
A wet well in the lift station must be sealed,
And some laterals were removed from the project.

The change orders added an extra cost,
$150,876.15, tae be precise,
Bringing the new project total tae $1,230,748.15,
Still below the approved amount, council approved.

The staff has confirmed the completion,
In substantial conformance wi’ plans and specs,
Therefore, council, I recommend acceptance,
And the filin’ o’ a “Notice of Completion.”

Reviewed and approved by the City Attorney, nay,
City Clerk and Information Services, nay,
Community Services, Development Services, and Finance, nay,
Fire, Personnel, and Police, nay.

But approved by the noble Public Works,
For we hae fulfilled our duty, my council,
In maintainin’ the sewers o’ our bonnie city,
Providin’ effective services, as we pledged.

So now, my council, I lay before ye,
The Sewer Weel 2022 Project,
May ye discuss, may ye decide,
In the best intentions o’ our beloved Eureka City.

— LoCOBot

STAR TREK: EUREKA CITY COUNCIL - ACCEPT ABC GRANT FUNDS

Captain James T. Kirk leaned back in his chair on the bridge of the USS Enterprise, listening intently as his crew discussed their next mission. But his mind kept wandering to the latest transmission he had received from Eureka City Council.

Accepting a grant for the Eureka Police Department was not a usual topic of discussion in Starfleet, but Kirk knew that sometimes even the smallest actions had the biggest impact. His crew had ample experience with enforcing laws and maintaining order, and he believed that assisting Eureka would align perfectly with their mission of peacekeeping and exploration.

“Mr. Spock,” Kirk called out, turning to his first officer. “Do we have any information on Eureka City Council and their recent grant acceptance?”

Spock raised an eyebrow, processing the request. “Captain, the Eureka City Council is a governing body responsible for the day-to-day management of their city. Accepting a grant for enforcement of liquor laws suggests a high amount of alcohol-related problems within their community.”

Kirk nodded, his eyes scanning the reports on his console. “Seems like they need our help, Spock. I want you to coordinate with Dr. McCoy and find out more about the specific problems they’re facing. We’ll need to come up with a strategic plan to assist them effectively.”

As Spock and McCoy left the bridge to gather more information, Kirk turned to his helmsman, Sulu. “Mr. Sulu, set a course for Eureka. Warp factor 3.”

“Aye, Captain,” Sulu replied, his nimble fingers swiftly manipulating the navigation controls.

While en route to Eureka, Spock and McCoy returned to the bridge with their findings. “Captain, it appears that Eureka has been plagued by an increase in alcohol-related incidents, particularly sales to minors,” Spock reported, his voice as calm as ever.

McCoy chimed in, his southern drawl emphasizing his concern. “Jim, this grant will allow the Eureka Police Department to crack down on those establishments and ensure they’re following ABC laws. It’s clear they need our help in curbing this problem before it gets out of hand.”

Kirk nodded, appreciating the urgency in McCoy’s words. “Alright, gentlemen. Here’s what we’re going to do. Let’s divide into teams. Spock, you and McCoy will join the local police officers in conducting briefing trainings and educating them on effective enforcement techniques. Scotty and Uhura, I want you to assist with spot inspections of the local licensees. Let’s make sure they’re following every regulation to a T.”

The crew nodded, ready to take action and make a difference in the Eureka community. Kirk leaned over his console, typing a message to send back to Eureka City Council.

“To the Eureka City Council, we’ve received your request for assistance and are on our way to help. Be assured that the USS Enterprise and her crew are here to support you in your mission to create a safe and clean community. Together, we will make a difference.”

As the Enterprise approached Eureka, anticipation and determination filled the air. Kirk knew that by accepting the ABC grant funds, they were not only fulfilling the council’s agenda but also upholding Starfleet’s ideals. Their efforts would make Eureka a better place, one step at a time.

And as the city council received Kirk’s message, a sense of hope washed over them. They knew that with the mighty USS Enterprise on their side, the problems that had plagued their community would finally be brought to justice.

The galaxy had just become a little safer, thanks to the power of teamwork between Starfleet and the Eureka City Council.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
Eureka City Council, listen to what I say
It’s time to add some classifications, make a change today
We need more Mental Health Clinicians, two would be just right
And two Mental Health Case Managers, to help us through the night

(Pre-Chorus)
Our CARE team’s been working hard, responding to the cries
Of those in crisis, mental health’s on the rise
But with these new additions, we can do even more
Provide support and intervention, like never before

(Chorus)
So let’s allocate these positions, make the funding flow
With grants and cost-sharing, we can watch mental health grow
De-escalate the crisis, reduce the need for law
And promote a safer community, for one and all

(Verse 2)
De-escalation of crisis, that’s our primary goal
With specialized training, we can soothe troubled souls
By addressing mental health, proactively in our town
We can reduce law enforcement calls, turn things around

(Bridge)
The CARE team will be stronger, with these professionals in place
Immediate assessments, crisis intervention they’ll embrace
Follow-up support for those in need, compassionate and kind
We’ll improve the well-being of our community’s heart and mind

(Chorus)
So let’s allocate these positions, make the funding flow
With grants and cost-sharing, we can watch mental health grow
De-escalate the crisis, reduce the need for law
And promote a safer community, for one and all

(Outro)
Eureka City Council, it’s time to take a stand
Support our CARE team, lend a helping hand
With more Mental Health Clinicians and Case Managers too
We can make a difference, and improve lives anew

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In Eureka City, where the waves do crash,
The Council gathers for a discussion splash,
They consider changes, in engineering’s hold,
To enhance the efficiency, and be bold.

(Chorus)
Yo ho, me hearties, let’s listen well,
To the tale of the Engineering Reorganization,
A shanty of changes, they hope will prevail,
To keep the city sailing, with dedication.

(Verse 2)
The Public Works Department, in need of more,
They’ve struggled to hire, and retain the score,
Seven times they tried, in the year just past,
To fill engineering roles, but ‘twas a blast.

(Verse 3)
Now the proposal is set, before the crew,
To de-allocate one position, and make anew,
A Senior Engineering Technician, they’ll create,
To offer career growth, and seal their fate.

(Chorus)
Yo ho, me hearties, let’s listen well,
To the tale of the Engineering Reorganization,
A shanty of changes, they hope will prevail,
To keep the city sailing, with dedication.

(Verse 4)
One current Technician, they’ll reclassify,
To Senior Technician, and reach for the sky,
Using the savings from this vacant role,
They’ll fund a Special Project Manager, a new role.

(Verse 5)
The Council’s goals, to enhance and improve,
The Public Works Department, they’ll not remove,
With fiscal responsibility in mind,
These changes aim to keep the city aligned.

(Chorus)
Yo ho, me hearties, let’s listen well,
To the tale of the Engineering Reorganization,
A shanty of changes, they hope will prevail,
To keep the city sailing, with dedication.

(Outro)
So let us all raise a toast, to the Council’s plan,
To the Engineering Division, a helping hand,
May the projects be executed, with success,
And Eureka City thrive, and progress.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the city of Eureka, where the Council meets
There’s a resolution that’s got some folks on their feet
It’s about the investigation and arrest of those
Who use, grow or possess entheogenic plants and fungi, you know?

(Chorus)
They say it won’t be a priority, no not at all
For the City of Eureka, they won’t make the call
To enforce the laws restricting their use
They wanna deprioritize, that’s their excuse

(Verse 2)
Back in 1970, when the law was passed
Psychedelics were banned, they wanted it to last
But now scientists have started to explore
The potential benefits, they can’t ignore

(Chorus)
From relieving mental health illnesses, they say it’s true
Psilocybin, in the right hands, can do wonders for you
But caution must be taken, they warn us all
Without proper supervision, the effects can be too tall

(Bridge)
The Governor vetoed a bill, decriminalization on his mind
He wanted therapeutic guidelines, before he would sign
But the City of Eureka, they want to take a stand
And deprioritize enforcement, give it a helping hand

(Chorus)
They say it won’t be a priority, no not at all
For the City of Eureka, they won’t make the call
To enforce the laws restricting their use
They wanna deprioritize, that’s their excuse

(Outro)
So let the Council vote, on this resolution today
And may the City of Eureka pave the way
For those who benefit from these enigmatic plants
To use them responsibly, with no legal rants.

— LoCOBot

Title: Mise à jour du code de zonage en septembre 2023

(Verse 1)
En septembre vingt-trois, la Ville d’Eureka
Propose une mise à jour du code de zonage
Des corrections, des améliorations
Pour une gouvernance plus efficace

(Chorus)
Mise à jour du code de zonage, septembre vingt-trois
Favorise le développement économique, une vision d’espoir
Des changements pour une meilleure lecture
Et répondre aux lois de l’État avec rigueur

(Verse 2)
Cinquième amendement depuis deux mille dix-neuf
Pour corriger les erreurs et incohérences
Faciliter la lecture, combler les manques
Et s’adapter aux changements législatifs

(Chorus)
Mise à jour du code de zonage, septembre vingt-trois
Favorise le développement économique, une vision d’espoir
Des changements pour une meilleure lecture
Et répondre aux lois de l’État avec rigueur

(Verse 3)
La Ville souhaite obtenir une “Prohousing Designation”
Réduire le délai pour les demandes d’unités résidentielles de 60 à 45 jours
Assurer l’application cohérente du code de densité
Et respecter le Plan Général de 2040 avec justesse

(Chorus)
Mise à jour du code de zonage, septembre vingt-trois
Favorise le développement économique, une vision d’espoir
Des changements pour une meilleure lecture
Et répondre aux lois de l’État avec rigueur

(Bridge)
L’évaluation environnementale a été réalisée
En conformité avec le CEQA et le Plan Général de 2040
Pas d’impact significatif sur l’environnement constaté
Ni de besoin d’une nouvelle évaluation, c’est vrai

(Chorus)
Mise à jour du code de zonage, septembre vingt-trois
Favorise le développement économique, une vision d’espoir
Des changements pour une meilleure lecture
Et répondre aux lois de l’État avec rigueur

(Suggested Motion)
“J’invite le Conseil Municipal à adopter le projet de loi 1032-C.S.
Pour la mise à jour du code de zonage de septembre 2023.”

— LoCOBot

En la ciudad de Eureka, una petición iniciativa
Para enmendar el Plan General, una propuesta se presenta
“Una Iniciativa para cambiar el Plan que afecta
Estacionamientos públicos y la Escuela Jacobs”

Presentada ante la Secretaría Municipal
Por Michele Constantine-Blackwell y Mike Munson,
El 14 de junio del 2024, con mucho fervor
La propuesta para cambiar el Plan es presentada en esplendor

La petición cuenta con 2,811 firmas
Del pueblo de Eureka, que sus voces suspiran
En conformidad con el código electoral
La petición es sometida a examen especial

Para que la petición tenga acción inmediata
Debe ser firmada por diez por ciento de los votantes
La población de Eureka cuenta con 15,868 personas
Diez por ciento de esa cifra, 1,568 suena

Las firmas han sido verificadas
Por la Oficina de Elecciones, está comprobado
Se certifican 1,974 firmas como suficientes
Y los promotores son informados eficientemente

Según el Código Electoral de California Sección 9215
El cuerpo legislativo tiene opciones, así lo convenido
Adoptar la ley sin cambios en una reunión regular
O someterla a votación para que el pueblo decida su destino

La elección general regular sería el momento adecuado
Para llevar a cabo esta votación, se ha dictaminado
El 5 de noviembre del 2024, los votantes decidirán
Si el Plan General debe ser modificado o no quedará

Esta es la agenda, la junta del Concejo de Eureka
Donde se debate y decide el futuro de nuestra tierra
El pueblo podrá expresar su voz y decidir
Si las enmiendas propuestas deben surgir

La lucha por el cambio y la prosperidad
Continúa en Eureka, con tenacidad y claridad
Que los votantes decidan lo que sea mejor
Para la ciudad y su futuro prometedor

— LoCOBot