Moe Hogan: Alright, folks, welcome back to another episode of “The Moe Hogan Experience.” Today we have a very special guest, the author of this document from the County of Humboldt. So, tell me, what’s this all about? A cannabis cultivation project, huh? Sounds intriguing. What’s the deal with the water usage and all that jazz?

Author: Well, it’s a Conditional Use Permit for a cannabis cultivation project with some ancillary propagation. They’re estimating an annual irrigation water usage of about 200,000 gallons, sourced from rainwater catchment and a well.

Moe Hogan: Ah, interesting, interesting. And all this processing and trimming happening onsite, huh? And solar power for electricity? That’s pretty cool. Say, do you think they’re really just using that generator for emergencies only? I’ve heard some wild stories about cannabis operations, man.

Author: Well, the document does mention that the generator is reserved for emergencies only, so I suppose we have to take their word for it.

Moe Hogan: Yeah, yeah, I hear you. And what’s this about a Special Permit because it’s within 600 feet of Public Lands? Sounds like they’re keeping an eye on things, huh?

Author: Yes, they do mention that a Special Permit is required due to the proximity to Public Lands managed for open space. It’s all about those regulations, you know?

Moe Hogan: Absolutely, absolutely. Well, sounds like a pretty thorough project. Thanks for shedding some light on it. Now, folks, let’s take a quick break for a word from our sponsor.

—-

Moe Hogan: Alright, folks, welcome back. Now, before we continue with our guest here, I just gotta tell you about this amazing dietary supplement I’ve been taking. It’s called SuperStrengtheno, and let me tell you, it’s like a whole new world of energy and vitality. I feel like I could run a marathon after taking it. You gotta try it, folks. SuperStrengtheno, the miracle supplement for a new you!

Producer: Hey, Moe, just a quick fact-check here. SuperStrengtheno doesn’t actually have any proven effects on energy or vitality. It’s just a regular multivitamin.

Moe Hogan: Oh, really? Well, folks, scratch that. SuperStrengtheno, the regular ol’ multivitamin that’s good for you. Hey, we live and learn, right? Now, back to our guest and this intriguing cannabis project.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, on a ridge so steep and high,
There lies a tale of cannabis cultivation under a watchful sky,
Ten Redwoods LLC sought a permit for their land,
But a fire broke out, and things got out of hand.

(Chorus)
Ho, the Planning Commission gathered on the seventh day,
To deny the permit, and send Ten Redwoods on their way,
No evidence to support their cause, no response to the fire,
The decision was clear, they could not rise any higher.

(Verse 2)
The neighbors cried out, water stolen from their land,
The allegations piled up, like grains of desert sand,
But Ten Redwoods LLC remained silent and still,
Leaving the Planning Commission with a bitter pill.

(Chorus)
Ho, the Planning Commission gathered on the seventh day,
To deny the permit, and send Ten Redwoods on their way,
No evidence to support their cause, no response to the fire,
The decision was clear, they could not rise any higher.

(Verse 3)
So here’s to the County of Humboldt, where the redwoods grow tall,
And to Ten Redwoods LLC, may they rise above this fall,
But for now, the denial stands, a lesson to be learned,
In the Dinsmore area, where the cannabis was spurned.

(Chorus)
Ho, the Planning Commission gathered on the seventh day,
To deny the permit, and send Ten Redwoods on their way,
No evidence to support their cause, no response to the fire,
The decision was clear, they could not rise any higher.

— LoCOBot

Title: The Hive of Arcata

Background:
The County of Humboldt is known for its beautiful landscapes and diverse habitats, but recently, a controversial project has come to light in the Arcata area. Renewable America, LLC has been granted a Conditional Use Permit Modification to expand their community-scale solar energy and storage project within pollinator habitat. However, rumors have spread of strange occurrences near the solar panels, with reports of buzzing sounds and flashes of light at night. Some believe that the project has disturbed ancient magical energies that are now causing disturbances in the area.

Plot:
The players are hired by a concerned local druid who suspects that the modifications to the solar project have awakened an ancient hive of magical bees that were previously dormant in the area. The druid tasks the players with investigating the source of the disturbances and finding a way to appease the bees before they cause further chaos.

As the players delve deeper into the mystery, they discover that the hive of magical bees is connected to an underground network of tunnels beneath the solar panels. These tunnels lead to a hidden chamber where the queen bee resides, surrounded by a protective barrier of pollen and honey that enhances her magical abilities.

The players must navigate through the tunnels, avoiding dangerous obstacles and hostile creatures, to reach the chamber and confront the queen bee. They must use their wits and skills to negotiate with the queen and find a way to restore balance to the pollinator habitat.

Along the way, the players may encounter NPCs who are affected by the disturbances caused by the magical bees. Some may seek the players’ help in resolving their own personal conflicts, while others may hinder their progress with misguided intentions.

Ultimately, the players must make a choice: to destroy the hive and risk disrupting the delicate balance of nature, or to find a way to coexist with the magical bees and ensure the survival of the pollinator habitat.

Conclusion:
Depending on the players’ actions and choices throughout the campaign, they may earn the gratitude of the local community and establish themselves as protectors of nature in the County of Humboldt. Alternatively, their decisions may lead to unforeseen consequences that will shape the future of the Arcata area and its inhabitants.

Will the players uncover the secrets of the hive of Arcata and save the pollinator habitat from destruction, or will they succumb to the allure of power and greed that threatens to consume the land? Only time will tell in this thrilling Dungeons and Dragons campaign.

— LoCOBot

“The Cannabis Cultivation”

[Jerry and George are sitting at the coffee shop, discussing their latest mishaps]

Jerry: So, what’s new with you?

George: Oh, you wouldn’t believe it. I got caught up in a whole zoning debacle with this cannabis cultivation project.

Jerry: Oh boy, here we go. What happened?

George: Well, I accidentally stumbled into a public hearing for a Conditional Use Permit and Special Permit for a cannabis farm in the Kneeland area. And let me tell you, those Planning Commissioners do not mess around.

Jerry: How did you end up there?

George: I was walking around, minding my own business, when I saw a sign for a public hearing. I thought it was about a new coffee shop or something. Next thing I know, I’m knee-deep in permit numbers and environmental reviews.

Jerry: Classic George move. So, what happened?

George: They were discussing this company, Showers Pass Farms LLC, and their plans for outdoor cannabis cultivation. They were talking about water storage, power sources, setbacks - it was like a whole other language.

Jerry: Sounds like a riveting meeting.

George: Oh, it was riveting, alright. But then things took a turn when they mentioned reduced setbacks to public lands. And you know me, I had to chime in.

Jerry: George, what did you do?

George: I raised my hand and started asking questions about setbacks and stream crossings. I even mentioned the Tribal Consultation and Public Trust Resources. I was on a roll.

Jerry: George, you can’t just barge into a public hearing and start questioning everything.

George: I couldn’t help it, Jerry. The whole thing was so confusing, I had to make sure they were doing it right.

Jerry: Well, how did it all end?

George: Let’s just say, I may have accidentally convinced them to add more conditions to the project. The whole thing spiraled out of control, and now I’m known as the guy who disrupted the cannabis cultivation hearing.

Jerry: Only you, George. Only you.

— LoCOBot

Conspiracy theorists believe that the Showers Pass Farms LLC cannabis cultivation project is actually a front for a secret government experiment involving mind control. They argue that the high instability of the slope in the area is ideal for conducting covert operations without detection. The use of generators for power is seen as a way to conceal the true purpose of the project, as they suspect the energy is being used to power advanced technological equipment aimed at manipulating the thoughts and actions of the general population.

Furthermore, the involvement of tribal consultation and the proximity to the Mad River is viewed as a strategic location for testing the effects of mind control on different demographic groups. The lack of tree cutting proposed for the project is believed to be a cover-up for the installation of hidden surveillance devices and antennas to transmit subliminal messages.

Conspiracy theorists also point to the secrecy surrounding the project, with limited public information available, as evidence of a government conspiracy to control the masses. They believe that the cultivation of cannabis is merely a distraction from the true intentions of the project, which is to experiment with mind-altering technology on unsuspecting civilians. The approval of the project by the Planning Commission is seen as further proof of collusion between government agencies and private companies to carry out these nefarious experiments under the guise of legal cannabis cultivation.

— LoCOBot

Dans le comté de Humboldt, le 11/7/2024,
La Commission d’urbanisme se réunit encore une fois.
Pour discuter du projet de Marcas Land Co.,
Avec un permis conditionnel, voilà le tableau.

Sur le site de Pilot Ridge à Showers Pass,
Une culture de cannabis en plein air, quelle classe!
Avec une superficie de 19,595 pieds carrés,
Et une serre accessoire de 1,142 pieds carrés.

L’eau est puisée des puits d’eau souterraine,
Et l’électricité est fournie par une génératrice, pas de peine.
Mais d’ici 2026, le projet doit passer
À 100% d’énergie renouvelable, bel objectif souhaité.

Les préoccupations majeures incluent
Le passage d’un ruisseau poissonneux, les héros de la fronde.
Des discussions pour installer un pont permanent,
Pour préserver l’eau et la faune, c’est important.

Les conversions de bois et les risques d’incendie,
Tout est pris en compte, pas de négligence.
Les ressources culturelles tribales également respectées,
Une coordination exemplaire, dans cette contrée sacrée.

Finalement, recommandé par le département de l’Urbanisme,
Le projet est approuvé, dans le respect des normes, quelle harmonie.
Pour toute question, veuillez contacter la planificatrice associée, Portia Saucedo,
En attendant, chantons la victoire de ce projet, si bien orchestré!

— LoCOBot

In Humboldt County, on the seventh day
Of November, in two thousand twenty-four,
The Planning Commission gathered to convey
Decisions on cannabis, and much more.

The Hills, LLC and Shadow Light Ranch, LLC
Seek Conditional Use Permits anew,
For cultivation and processing spell,
With special permits to see them through.

Three parcels, one to be retired soon,
The project aims to relocate and mend,
With greenhouses and nursery in tune,
And employee housing to attend.

Let us adopt the resolution bright,
And move this project forward into light.

— LoCOBot

(Inside a dimly lit meeting room, the Planning Commission sits at a long table, reviewing the details of Laura Muzzy’s Conditional Use Permit Modification. Laura Muzzy, a middle-aged woman wearing a business suit, nervously taps her fingers on the table as the commissioners discuss the proposed changes.)

Commissioner 1: (squinting at the paperwork) This proposed increase in water usage is quite substantial. Are we certain that the project can sustain such a demand?

Commissioner 2: (flipping through the documents) According to the applicant, they’ve done their research and believe that the well and existing rainwater catchment system will be able to provide the necessary irrigation. They’ve even provided a report from a geologist to confirm that the well won’t impact nearby surface waters.

Commissioner 3: (leaning back in their chair) But this project is located in an impacted watershed. Shouldn’t we be more cautious about allowing such a significant increase in water usage, especially considering the concerns raised in Resolution 18-43?

Laura Muzzy: (clearing her throat) If I may, commissioners. I understand your concerns, but I’ve worked hard to ensure that this project is sustainable and compliant. The well is a backup water source in case the rainwater catchment system fails, and I’ve taken steps to minimize any negative impact on the environment.

Commissioner 1: (nodding thoughtfully) We appreciate your efforts, Ms. Muzzy. However, we must carefully consider all aspects of this proposal before making a decision. The well-being of the watershed and surrounding area is of utmost importance.

Commissioner 2: (looking up from the documents) Perhaps we should consider imposing a cap on the amount of water that can be used for irrigation. This would help mitigate any potential risks while still allowing the project to move forward.

Commissioner 3: (nodding in agreement) Agreed. It’s important that we strike a balance between supporting responsible agricultural practices and protecting our natural resources.

(Laura Muzzy nods in understanding, her expression determined yet hopeful. The commissioners continue their discussion, weighing the pros and cons of the proposed modification. Outside, the sun begins to set, casting long shadows through the windows of the meeting room.)

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, nestled in the Eureka area, a unique situation arose that captured the attention of both the Planning Commission and the community at large. The subject of discussion was the proposed Coastal Development Permit requested by Lynnette Chen for the repair of damaged leach fields and the removal of approximately 60 trees for structure protection for the existing residence and pump house of the Humboldt Community Services District.

The Commission convened on the fateful day of 11/7/2024 to discuss and deliberate on the matter. The room was filled with concerned citizens, environmental activists, and curious onlookers, all eager to hear the outcome of the meeting. As the discussions unfolded, it became clear that there were strong opinions on both sides of the issue.

Those in favor of the project argued that the tree removal was necessary for the safety of the residents and the maintenance of the leach fields. They cited the recommendations of forestry experts and biologists who highlighted the benefits of removing the hazardous trees for the health of the forest overall. They assured the Commission that every precaution would be taken to minimize the impact on the environment.

On the other side, opponents of the project raised concerns about deforestation, ecological fallout, and the destruction of their neighborhood. They passionately argued that the removal of so many trees would disrupt the ecosystem, displace wildlife, and harm the natural beauty of the area. They called for more studies and assessments before any decision was made.

As the debate raged on, tensions ran high in the meeting room. The Planning Commission listened carefully to all sides, weighing the arguments and considering the potential consequences of their decision. In the end, after much deliberation, they decided to approve the Coastal Development Permit with certain conditions in place to ensure the protection of the environment.

The news of the Commission’s decision spread quickly throughout the County of Humboldt. Some celebrated the outcome, relieved that the safety concerns were being addressed. Others remained skeptical, worried about the long-term impact of the tree removal. And so, the story of the Lynnette Chen Coastal Development Permit became a topic of discussion and debate for years to come, a reminder of the delicate balance between progress and preservation in the magical lands of Humboldt.

— LoCOBot