En el condado de Humboldt,
en la reunión de hoy se hablará,
sobre la resolución que se presentará,
para honrar a la Doctora Ruby Bayan.

El Supervisor Rex Bohn lo propone,
en la sección de Consentimiento,
que la Junta de Supervisores apruebe,
este reconocimiento tan ferviento.

La Doctora Ruby Bayan se destaca,
por ayudar a quienes más lo necesitan,
en momentos de dificultad y carencia,
y en luchas contra adicciones tan malvadas.

Su compromiso con el condado es incansable,
su labor es digna de aplaudir y admirar,
por eso la Junta de Supervisores,
decide por unanimidad honrarla.

Que este gesto sea un ejemplo,
de unidad y apoyo en la comunidad,
celebremos los logros y fomentemos el orgullo,
por tener a personas como la Doctora Bayan.

No hay impacto financiero en esta acción,
es un reconocimiento merecido y sincero,
que nos llena de alegría y gratitud,
recibir a la Doctora Bayan, un tesoro verdadero.

Que viva el condado de Humboldt,
y sus habitantes de gran corazón,
que la labor de la Doctora Bayan,
nos inspire a seguir luchando con pasión.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
In the County of Humboldt, on a day in May
The Six Rivers Running Club gonna lead the way
With the Avenue of the Giants Marathon, Half Marathon and 10K Run
Gonna hit the pavement, gonna have some fun

Chorus:
So let the roads be closed, let the runners run
From 7:30 to 2:30, under the sun
Resolution’s passed, it’s all set to go
The Avenue of the Giants, gonna steal the show

Verse 2:
Supervisor Michelle Bushnell, she made the call
To the Board of Supervisors, they stand tall
In support of safe and healthy communities
This running event, it’s a unity

(Chorus)

Bridge:
No financial impact, just pure bliss
CalTrans on board, can’t resist
Alternative routes, board has a say
But the Six Rivers Running Club, gonna have their day

(Chorus)

Outro:
On the 53rd Annual, history will be made
In the County of Humboldt, where the dreams cascade
Through the Avenue of the Giants, the runners will glide
With the road closures authorized, let the marathon ride.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, there’s a man we all adore
John Clark was his name, serving for years and more
On the Fish & Game Commission, he gave his all
Now it’s time to honor him, stand up and tall

(Chorus)
Let’s adjourn in memory of John Clark
His dedication we will always mark
In Humboldt County, we’ll never forget
The service he gave, we’re forever in debt

(Verse 2)
Since June ‘89, he’s been by our side
Guiding us with wisdom, never letting us hide
His presence will be missed, his legacy strong
In the hearts of many, his memory will belong

(Chorus)
Let’s adjourn in memory of John Clark
His dedication we will always mark
In Humboldt County, we’ll never forget
The service he gave, we’re forever in debt

(Bridge)
No other alternatives, just one recommendation
To honor his life, our hearts in jubilation
No funding needed, just our gratitude
For the service of John, forever in our attitude

(Chorus)
Let’s adjourn in memory of John Clark
His dedication we will always mark
In Humboldt County, we’ll never forget
The service he gave, we’re forever in debt

(Outro)
So let’s come together, in unity and grace
To honor John Clark, in this special place
In the County of Humboldt, we’ll never be apart
Rest in peace, John Clark, you’ll always be in our heart!

— LoCOBot

(The scene opens with the Board of Supervisors gathered around a conference table in a dimly lit room. Supervisor Mike Wilson stands at the front of the room, holding a piece of paper in his hands.)

Supervisor Wilson: (clearing his throat) Ladies and gentlemen of the Board, today we come together to honor the life and legacy of former Assemblymember Patty Berg. Patty Berg was a true champion for our community, the state of California, and for older adults everywhere.

(Supervisor Wilson walks over to a large portrait of Patty Berg that has been placed on an easel at the front of the room. He gazes at it for a moment, then turns back to the Board.)

Supervisor Wilson: Patty Berg dedicated her life to serving others. From her early days as a community organizer, to her time in the State Assembly, she never wavered in her commitment to making the world a better place. She was a tireless advocate for those in need, a fierce defender of the disadvantaged, and a beacon of hope for all who knew her.

(Supervisor Wilson takes a deep breath and looks out at the members of the Board.)

Supervisor Wilson: Today, we have the opportunity to honor Patty Berg’s memory, her legacy, and the impact she had on the people of Humboldt County and the State of California. Let us adopt this resolution and adjourn in her memory, so that her spirit may live on in our hearts and minds.

(After a moment of silence, the members of the Board nod their heads in agreement. They stand up from their seats and bow their heads in a moment of silent reflection. The room is filled with a sense of reverence and gratitude for the life of Patty Berg.)

Supervisor Wilson: Thank you, my fellow Board members, for honoring the memory of Patty Berg. May her light continue to shine brightly in our community, and may we always strive to follow in her footsteps of compassion, dedication, and service.

(The scene fades to black as the members of the Board continue to pay tribute to the legacy of Patty Berg.)

— LoCOBot

Captain James T. Kirk paced back and forth in his ready room aboard the USS Enterprise, his mind consumed with the latest assignment from Starfleet. The message had come in just hours ago, requesting the crew to head to the County of Humboldt on Earth to investigate reports of human rights violations. Kirk knew that this mission would require diplomacy, tact, and a keen sense of justice.

As Kirk gathered his senior staff for a briefing, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of unease. The prospect of confronting such issues on his own home planet was daunting, to say the least. But with Spock, Dr. McCoy, and the rest of his trusted team by his side, he knew they could handle whatever challenges lay ahead.

Upon arriving in Humboldt County, Kirk and his team were greeted by Supervisor Rex Bohn, who filled them in on the situation. It seemed that tensions had been rising between various factions on the planet, with reports of discrimination and mistreatment of certain groups becoming more and more frequent.

As they began their investigation, Kirk and his crew quickly realized that the issues at hand were complex and deeply entrenched. They had to navigate a delicate web of politics, cultural differences, and personal biases in order to get to the truth. But with their combined skills and experience, they were determined to bring justice to those who had been wronged.

One particular case caught their attention – the reappointment of Jim Glover to the Human Rights Commission. There were whispers of corruption and backroom deals surrounding his tenure, and Kirk knew they had to dig deeper to uncover the truth. As they delved into the matter, they uncovered a web of deceit and manipulation that went all the way to the highest levels of government.

In the end, Kirk and his team were able to expose the corruption and ensure that justice was served. Jim Glover was removed from his position, and new, more transparent policies were put in place to prevent such abuses from happening again. Humboldt County was able to move forward, stronger and more united than before.

As the USS Enterprise soared back into the depths of space, Kirk couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride in what they had accomplished. They may have been far from the final frontier, but the mission in Humboldt County had proven that the spirit of justice and equality knew no boundaries. And for that, Kirk was grateful to have been a part of it.

— LoCOBot

Hear ye, hear ye!

Gather ‘round, good people of the County of Humboldt, for I bring news from the meeting of the Board of Supervisors to be held on the 25th of February, 2025.

File number 25-293, presented by Supervisor Mike Wilson, is on the agenda for the Consent section. The vote requirement is a simple majority.

The subject at hand is a proclamation to declare the week of February 16 through February 22 as Engineer’s Week in Humboldt County. This proclamation aims to honor the contributions of our local engineers to the community.

The recommendation before the Board is to ratify the Chair’s signature on the proclamation, as a symbol of our appreciation for the tireless work and dedication of our engineers.

Please be reminded that there is no financial impact associated with this proclamation, and the Board has the discretion to consider any alternatives to the staff recommendations.

Let us all come together in celebration and recognition of Engineer’s Week in Humboldt County, as we acknowledge and honor the hard work and innovation of our local engineers. May their contributions continue to shape and improve our community for years to come.

That is all for now, but stay tuned for updates from the Board of Supervisors meeting on the 25th of February, 2025.

God save the County of Humboldt!

— LoCOBot

In the mystical land of Humboldt County, where magic flowed through the forests and the rivers whispered secrets to those who listened, there lived a group of beings known as the Grand Jury. These individuals were not like any others in the county, for they possessed unique powers and abilities that allowed them to see into the depths of the supernatural world.

Supervisor Rex Bohn, a respected member of the Board of Supervisors, had long been an advocate for the Grand Jury. He knew the importance of their work in maintaining the balance between the human realm and the magical realm that coexisted in Humboldt County. And so, he stood before the Board, holding a proclamation in his hand.

“Today, I come before you to proclaim February 2025 as Grand Jury Awareness Month in Humboldt County,” Supervisor Bohn announced, his voice firm and resolute. “The Grand Jury plays a crucial role in our local government, and it is time we recognize and celebrate their dedication and service to our community.”

The Board of Supervisors listened intently as Supervisor Bohn explained the significance of the Grand Jury and their role in preserving the harmony between the human and magical worlds. The proclamation highlighted the sacrifices and contributions of the Grand Jury members, who volunteered their time to protect the people of Humboldt County from supernatural threats.

As the proclamation was read aloud, a faint glow enveloped the room, casting a warm and comforting light over the gathered individuals. The air hummed with magic, and the spirits of the forest whispered words of gratitude and support to the Grand Jury. The members of the Board could feel the presence of something greater than themselves, something ancient and powerful that had long watched over the county.

Once the proclamation was adopted, a sense of unity and purpose filled the room. The Board of Supervisors, along with Supervisor Bohn, pledged to support the Grand Jury in their mission to keep Humboldt County safe from mystical dangers. They encouraged all residents to learn more about the Grand Jury’s work and how they could get involved in protecting their community.

And so, in the month of February 2025, the people of Humboldt County came together to celebrate Grand Jury Awareness Month. They honored the brave individuals who stood between them and the unknown, and they vowed to stand by their side in the face of any danger that may threaten their home.

For in the magical land of Humboldt County, where the supernatural and the ordinary mingled in a delicate dance, the Grand Jury was a beacon of hope and protection, guiding the way for all who called the county their home.

— LoCOBot

[SCENE: The gang is driving through the fog-covered streets of Humboldt County, searching for clues to their latest mystery. Shaggy is nervously munching on a sandwich while Scooby is sniffing the air excitedly. Fred is confidently driving the Mystery Machine, with Velma and Daphne in the back, studying a map.]

Daphne: (excitedly) I can’t believe we’re in Humboldt County! I heard there are some real spooky legends around here.

Velma: (nodding) Yes, Humboldt County is known for its mysterious disappearances and strange occurrences. It’s the perfect place for us to investigate.

Fred: (smiling) Well, we better get to the Board of Supervisors meeting to start gathering clues. Maybe they’ll have some information on the latest strange happenings.

[The gang arrives at the County Building and heads inside to the meeting room. The Board of Supervisors is just finishing up their meeting, discussing the approval of an Action Summary.]

Clerk of the Board: (announcing) The Board of Supervisors will now vote on the approval of the Action Summary for the meeting of January 28, 2025.

[Suddenly, the lights flicker and a mysterious figure appears in the corner of the room.]

Mysterious Figure: (sinisterly) You meddling kids have stumbled upon something you shouldn’t have. Leave Humboldt County before it’s too late!

Scooby: Ruh-roh, Raggy!

Shaggy: ZOINKS!

Fred: Don’t worry, gang. We’re not going anywhere until we solve this mystery.

[The gang begins to search the room for clues while the Board of Supervisors looks on, puzzled.]

Velma: (excitedly) Look! There’s a minute sheet with information on the meeting of January 28th. Maybe it holds the key to what’s been happening in Humboldt County.

Daphne: (pointing) And there’s the Action Summary. It might have details on the strange occurrences in the area.

[As they examine the documents, they uncover a series of mysterious disappearances and unexplained phenomena that have been plaguing Humboldt County for months. The gang realizes that the Mysterious Figure is actually a disgruntled former government employee trying to cover up their involvement in the strange happenings.]

Fred: (determined) We need to catch this culprit before they cause any more trouble in Humboldt County.

[The gang springs into action, chasing the Mysterious Figure through the County Building, dodging obstacles and traps along the way. Finally, they corner the culprit and unmask them to reveal the disgruntled employee.]

Disgruntled Employee: (defeated) I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kids!

[The police arrive to take the culprit into custody, and the Board of Supervisors thank the gang for solving the mystery.]

Board of Supervisors: (gratefully) Thank you, Mystery Inc. You’ve saved Humboldt County from further chaos.

Fred: (smiling) It’s all in a day’s work for Mystery Inc. Let’s hit the road, gang. There are plenty more mysteries to solve out there.

[The gang waves goodbye to the Board of Supervisors as they climb back into the Mystery Machine and drive off into the fog-covered streets of Humboldt County, ready for their next adventure.]

THE END.

— LoCOBot

Campaign Title: The Shadow Council

In the County of Humboldt, a mysterious group known as the Shadow Council has been gaining power and influence behind the scenes. Rumors say that they are manipulating events to serve their own dark purposes, but no one knows for sure what those purposes are.

As adventurers passing through the county, you are approached by a desperate farmer who tells you that his village has been suffering from strange occurrences ever since the Shadow Council arrived. Crops have withered, livestock have gone missing, and villagers have been plagued by terrifying nightmares.

Determined to uncover the truth behind the Shadow Council and put an end to their nefarious deeds, you set out on a quest to gather information and allies. Along the way, you encounter a variety of challenges, from battling monsters in the forests to negotiating with suspicious townspeople who may or may not be under the Council’s influence.

As you delve deeper into the mystery, you discover that the Shadow Council is not just a group of powerful individuals, but beings from another realm who have come to Humboldt to sow chaos and despair. Their ultimate goal is to open a portal to their dimension and unleash their dark forces upon the world.

With time running out, you must race against the clock to stop the Shadow Council before they can complete their ritual and bring about untold destruction. Can you gather enough strength, courage, and cunning to defeat these otherworldly invaders and save Humboldt from a fate worse than death?

Embark on an epic adventure filled with danger, intrigue, and magic as you face off against the Shadow Council in a battle for the fate of the county and all who dwell within it. Are you ready to confront the darkness and emerge victorious, or will you succumb to the shadows that threaten to consume everything in their path? The choice is yours, brave adventurers.

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time, in the beautiful County of Humboldt, there was a meeting of the Board of Supervisors on February 7, 2025. The agenda was full of important topics, but there was one item that stood out - the approval of the Action Summary from the meeting.

The Clerk of the Board presented the recommendation to the Board of Supervisors, urging them to approve the Action Summary and authorize the signing of the Minute Book. It was a simple task, but one that held great significance in keeping the county running smoothly.

As the members of the Board discussed and debated, a gentle calm settled over the room. Each supervisor listened intently, weighing the decision before them. Finally, after careful consideration, the Board unanimously approved the Action Summary. The Clerk of the Board smiled with relief, knowing that their work could now be officially documented and filed away.

With the meeting adjourned, the sun began to set over the County of Humboldt. As night fell and the stars twinkled overhead, the residents of the county tucked themselves into bed, feeling reassured by the hard work of their local government.

And so, as the moon rose high in the sky, casting a soft glow over the land, the people of Humboldt drifted off to sleep, content in knowing that their county was in good hands. The approval of the Action Summary was a small task, but it symbolized the dedication and commitment of those who worked tirelessly to ensure the well-being of their community.

And as the night continued on, the County of Humboldt slept peacefully, dreaming of a future filled with prosperity and unity. For in this small corner of the world, the actions of a few could make a world of difference for many. Goodnight, County of Humboldt. May your dreams be as bright as the stars above.

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, on a February day,
The Board of Supervisors met to have their say.
File number 25-279 was up for their decision,
To approve the Action Summary, with precision.

The Clerk of the Board shared the news,
Of the meeting held on February 11, with no blues.
They recommended approval, without delay,
And authorized the signing of the Minute Book that day.

With a vote requirement of majority in sight,
The Board of Supervisors made things right.
Supporting core services, as the plan does decree,
For the benefit of all in the community.

No impact on the General Fund was found,
As the Action Summary approval did astound.
No other agency involved, no need for a fight,
Just a simple decision under the meeting light.

So let’s sing a nursery rhyme, happy and spry,
About the County of Humboldt, reaching for the sky.
With a government that works for all to see,
In the beautiful land of California, wild and free.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the County of Humboldt, where the sun always shines
The Board of Supervisors meet, discussing all the guidelines
They come together, to serve with pride
Working for the people, with nothing to hide

(Chorus)
Oooo, County of Humboldt
Where decisions are made, with hearts so bold
Working for the people, every single day
Board of Supervisors, leading the way

(Verse 2)
Expense reports are filed, in accordance with the law
Reimbursing for expenses, they’re always in awe
Meals, lodging, travel, all accounted for
Everything transparent, for the people to adore

(Chorus)
Oooo, County of Humboldt
Where decisions are made, with hearts so bold
Working for the people, every single day
Board of Supervisors, leading the way

(Bridge)
No staffing impact, just dedication
To serve the community, is their motivation
General Fund funding, for all to see
Transparent and accountable, for all to believe

(Chorus)
Oooo, County of Humboldt
Where decisions are made, with hearts so bold
Working for the people, every single day
Board of Supervisors, leading the way

(Outro)
So let’s raise a toast, to the Board of Supervisors
For their hard work and dedication, for all that endures
In the County of Humboldt, where greatness takes flight
Board of Supervisors, shining so bright.

— LoCOBot

I told my lawyer I wanted to sue the County of Humboldt for making me work extra hours, and he said, “Don’t worry, we’ll get the big guns involved.” I said, “What, like Gabriel Smith from the County Counsel’s Office?”

— LoCOBot

Detective Jenna Thompson sat at her desk in the County of Humboldt’s Department of Health & Human Services, reviewing the agenda for the upcoming Board of Supervisors meeting. As she scanned through the list of recommendations, one item caught her attention - File #: 25-256.

The recommendation was to provide an exception to the hiring freeze in order to hire three full-time Medical Office Assistants, one Services Support Assistant, and one Senior Program Manager-Behavioral Health for the DHHS. Jenna’s detective instincts kicked in as she felt there was something suspicious about the request.

She decided to dig deeper into the department’s operations to understand why these positions were so urgently needed. As she interviewed staff members and reviewed financial documents, Jenna uncovered a trail of mismanagement and potential fraud within the department.

It became clear that the hiring freeze was being used as a smokescreen to cover up the department’s budget deficits and misallocation of funds. The positions being requested were not essential for providing services to the community, but rather a way to continue generating revenue and claiming federal and state reimbursements.

Jenna knew she had stumbled upon a major scandal that went all the way to the top of the department. With the Board of Supervisors set to vote on the hiring exception, Jenna had to act fast to gather enough evidence to prove her suspicions.

As the meeting date approached, Jenna worked tirelessly to compile her findings and present them to the Board. On the day of the meeting, she stood before the supervisors and laid out her case, detailing the corruption and fraudulent activities within the DHHS.

In a shocking turn of events, the Board of Supervisors voted to deny the hiring exception and launched an investigation into the department’s financial practices. Thanks to Jenna’s detective work, the truth was finally exposed and those responsible were held accountable.

As she walked out of the meeting room, Jenna couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction knowing that she had uncovered the truth and protected the interests of the community. And as she returned to her desk, she knew that her work as a detective was far from over - there were always more mysteries to solve in the County of Humboldt.

— LoCOBot

Are you looking for a way to make a positive impact on mental health in Humboldt County? Look no further than our MHSA Prevention and Early Intervention Program - Local Implementation Agreement Application Package! By approving this package, you are authorizing the Department of Health and Human Services to collaborate with local community organizations to develop and support programs designed to reduce the impact of mental illness in our community.

With funding allocated to support education, mitigation, and prevention services, we can work together to improve mental, emotional, and relational functioning, increase public awareness of mental illness, and provide timely access to necessary mental health services. By approving this application package and local implementation agreement templates, you are ensuring that our community has the resources and support needed to address the impacts of mental illness.

Don’t delay - support the MHSA Prevention and Early Intervention Program and help create a safer and healthier community for all residents of Humboldt County. Let’s work together to make a difference in the lives of those affected by mental illness. Thank you for considering this important initiative.

— LoCOBot

Starfish: Hey Noodles, have you heard about this grant for the Child Passenger Safety Program in Humboldt County?

Noodles: Oh man, no way! That sounds pretty cool. What’s it all about?

Starfish: So basically, there’s this program that aims to educate the community about the proper use of car seats and boosters for kids. They distribute free safety seats to low-income families who need them.

Noodles: That’s awesome. It’s so important to keep kids safe in cars. How much money are they getting from the grant?

Starfish: They’re getting $9,193 from Coast Central Credit Union. With that money, they can purchase 100 car seats and booster seats to give out to families in need.

Noodles: That’s a lot of seats! I bet that’ll make a big difference in the community. It’s great that they’re getting support for this program.

Starfish: Yeah, definitely. I hope the Board of Supervisors approves the grant and the budget so they can continue to help keep kids safe in cars.

Noodles: Me too, man. It’s such an important cause. Let’s hope they make the right decision.

— LoCOBot

O County o Humboldt sae braw,
Frae the meetin’ o 25-223 we draw,
To the Board o Supervisors, we mak’ a plea,
For a grant o $75,000 tae be set free.

A Supplemental Budget we seek,
For the Data Exchange Framework, sae sleek,
In Fiscal Year 2024-25, we need this support,
Tae enhance our Public Health efforts in every sort.

The Strategic Plan we aim tae uphold,
For Safe & Healthy Communities, bold,
Supportin’ partnerships tae enhance public safety,
In our braw County o Humboldt sae snawy.

Governor Newsom’s law, AB 133,
Transformin’ healthcare for all tae see,
Expandin’ Medi-Cal, investin in health,
Mandatin’ data sharin’, more wealth.

The DxF we must implement,
For better health, its intent,
Improvin’ access, connections we crave,
Enhancin’ public health, tae save.

So approve this grant, we ask,
For the sake o our task,
To meet the DSA requirements in full,
And improve health for aw, we pull.

In Public Health Fund, the money lies,
For Public Health Administration, wise,
$75,000 we request,
For a total o $150,000, the best.

No staffin’ impact tae be seen,
This grant, sae clean,
No alternative we recommend,
For without it, our efforts may end.

Attachments we provide,
For your review, nae need tae hide,
The CalHHS DxF DSA we sign,
In hopes o support divine.

So heed our plea, O Board sae fair,
For the sake o aw, show ye care,
Approve the grant, set it free,
For the health o County o Humboldt, sae braw to see.

— LoCOBot

🏡🔑 Important meeting alert! The County of Humboldt is discussing cleaning up defaulted housing loans during their meeting on 2/25/2025. Check out the details ⬇️ #housingforall #HumboldtCounty

The Planning and Building Department is recommending forgiving accrued interest and writing off loans discharged by Bankruptcy Court. This will help support the county’s Strategic Plan for Housing for All. #housingdevelopment

Four failed residential loans will be removed from the county’s receivables balance, as they were discharged by federal or state law. The loans were intended to assist low-income households with home repairs. #affordablehousing

One loan was written off in 1998 and another in 2010. Now, loans for S. Burris, J. Coutant, J. Adams, and W. Yeater are being considered for forgiveness of interest and write-off of the principal balance. #housingloans

The funds from these grants were meant to be revolving, but due to various circumstances, they will not be repaid. This action will have no impact on the General Fund and will reduce the Department’s receivables balance. #financialimpact

Stay tuned for updates on the outcome of the meeting and the County of Humboldt’s decision on cleaning up defaulted housing loans. #CountyofHumboldt #housingmatters

For more information and details on the defaulted housing loans being discussed, check out the attached court orders and documents. #transparency #accountability

Let’s all work together to support affordable housing in the County of Humboldt and assist those in need of home repairs. Every action counts! #communitysupport #housingassistance

— LoCOBot

Beavis: Uh, hey Butt-head, check this out. It’s like some kind of meeting agenda thing for the County of Humboldt.

Butt-head: Whoa, Humboldt. That sounds cool. What’s it about?

Beavis: It’s like, storm damage repairs to Kneeland Road or something. Post mile 37.09.

Butt-head: Post mile? Is that like a post office or something?

Beavis: I don’t know, dumbass. It’s like…oh, it says here that they got funding from the Federal Highway Administration and the Governor’s Office of Emergency Services.

Butt-head: Whoa, that’s pretty cool. So they’re gonna fix the road or something?

Beavis: Yeah, looks like they’re gonna build a soldier pile wall, install drainage systems, and stuff like that.

Butt-head: Cool, cool. I wonder when they’re gonna start.

Beavis: It says bids will be opened on April 1, 2025, at 2:00 p.m. Hey, that’s April Fool’s Day.

Butt-head: Heh heh, yeah. I wonder if they’ll actually do it or if it’s just a prank.

Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head. This is serious business. They’re gonna spend like, a lot of money on this.

Butt-head: Yeah, yeah. I get it. They should just hire us to do it. We could like, totally wreck that road in no time.

Beavis: Yeah, but then they’d have to fix it again. And we’d probably end up in jail or something.

Butt-head: Oh yeah, that’s true. Let’s just stick to watching TV and eating nachos.

Beavis: Yeah, good plan. Nachos rule. Heh heh heh.

— LoCOBot

In the quiet County of Humboldt, a seemingly routine meeting of the Board of Supervisors took place on February 25, 2025. The agenda included a proposal for a consultant services agreement with GHD, Inc. to provide on-call design engineering and/or environmental services for road and bridge projects in the area. The recommendation was to approve the agreement and authorize the Chair of the Board to execute it.

As the meeting progressed, there was an uneasy feeling in the air. The room grew colder, and the lights flickered ominously. Despite the strange occurrences, the Board of Supervisors proceeded with the vote, ultimately approving the agreement with GHD, Inc.

Little did they know, the decision to bring GHD, Inc. on board would unleash a horror beyond their wildest nightmares. As soon as the agreement was signed, strange things began happening in Humboldt County. Road construction projects that were once routine and safe suddenly turned into nightmares of death and despair.

Workers reported hearing chilling whispers in the wind, feeling icy fingers on their necks, and seeing shadowy figures lurking in the corners of their vision. Accidents on the job site became increasingly common, with equipment malfunctioning and structures collapsing without warning.

Rumors began to spread among the townsfolk of Humboldt County, whispers of a curse brought on by the agreement with GHD, Inc. Some claimed to have seen ghostly apparitions of past construction workers haunting the roads and bridges, seeking vengeance for their untimely deaths.

Despite the mounting evidence of a supernatural presence wreaking havoc in the county, the Board of Supervisors remained in denial. They refused to believe that their decision had unleashed a force beyond their control, a force that now threatened the safety and well-being of everyone in Humboldt County.

As the terror continued to escalate, with more lives lost and more souls claimed by the malevolent entity haunting the construction sites, the Board of Supervisors finally realized the grave mistake they had made. They scrambled to undo the agreement with GHD, Inc. and banish the curse that had befallen their county.

But it was too late. The darkness had taken hold of Humboldt County, and there was no escaping its deadly grasp. The once peaceful community became a place of fear and suffering, a place where the line between the living and the dead blurred, and the horrors of the past rose up to claim their vengeance.

And so, Humboldt County remained forever haunted by the ghostly echoes of a decision made on that fateful day in February, a decision that brought about a nightmare that would never end. The Board of Supervisors learned the hard way that some contracts should never be signed, for they may come with a price too high to pay.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
In the County of Humboldt, there’s a road named Briceland Thorne
Caught up in a storm, left all alone
Post Miles 3.08 and 5.67, feeling the strain
Public Works stepped in to repair and maintain

Chorus:
Accept the completed contracts, it’s time to pay
For Storm Damage Repair on Briceland Thorne today
Let’s keep the traffic flowing, prevent further harm
Board of Supervisors, it’s time to take arms

Verse 2:
Emergency repairs, to keep the road safe
GHD, Inc. and GR Sundberg, they paved the way
Soldier pile walls and rock buttresses in place
Drainage systems installed, to avoid a disgrace

Chorus:
Accept the completed contracts, it’s time to pay
For Storm Damage Repair on Briceland Thorne today
Let’s keep the traffic flowing, prevent further harm
Board of Supervisors, it’s time to take arms

Bridge:
Federal Highway Administration, lending a hand
Funding the project, to help the land
Change orders approved, to make things right
For Briceland Thorne Road, shining bright

Chorus:
Accept the completed contracts, it’s time to pay
For Storm Damage Repair on Briceland Thorne today
Let’s keep the traffic flowing, prevent further harm
Board of Supervisors, it’s time to take arms

Outro:
So here we are, in the County of Humboldt
With the storm behind us, the road now bold
Thanks to Public Works and all involved
Briceland Thorne Road, problem solved!

— LoCOBot

Title: The Hiring Freeze

[Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer are sitting in Jerry’s apartment discussing the latest news in Humboldt County]

Jerry: Did you guys hear about the hiring freeze in Humboldt County?

George: Hiring freeze? What’s that?

Jerry: It’s when an organization or government agency stops hiring new employees to save money or reduce costs. In this case, the Sheriff’s Business Office is short-staffed because of it.

Elaine: Short-staffed? That must be a nightmare for them.

Kramer: Oh, I can imagine. I once worked in an office that was short-staffed, and let me tell you, chaos ensued.

Jerry: Well, it looks like they’re requesting an exception to hire a new Administrative Secretary to help with the workload. But the Board of Supervisors has to vote on it.

George: They should just hire someone already. What’s the hold up?

Jerry: It’s all about the budget and long-term costs. They’re trying to be more efficient with the resources they have.

Elaine: Efficiency is good, but sometimes you just need more hands on deck to get things done.

[Later, Jerry and Kramer visit the Sheriff’s Business Office to see the chaos for themselves]

Jerry: Wow, look at this place. It’s a madhouse.

Kramer: Yeah, they definitely need some help around here.

Jerry: Excuse me, we’re here to speak with the Sheriff about the hiring freeze.

Receptionist: The Sheriff’s not available at the moment, but I can help you with any questions you have.

Kramer: We heard you’re short-staffed. Is it as bad as it looks?

Receptionist: Oh, it’s even worse. We’re drowning in paperwork and deadlines. We really need that new Administrative Secretary.

Jerry: Well, we’ll have to see how the Board of Supervisors votes on it.

[Cut to the Board of Supervisors meeting]

Board Member: Alright, let’s discuss the request from the Sheriff’s Business Office for an exception to the hiring freeze.

Jerry: (whispers to George) This is where it gets interesting.

Board Member: All those in favor of approving the hiring of a new Administrative Secretary?

[The Board votes unanimously in favor of hiring the new Administrative Secretary]

Jerry: Looks like they’re getting the help they need.

George: Finally, some good news for the Sheriff’s Business Office.

[Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer walk out of the meeting, satisfied with the outcome]

Jerry: Well, crisis averted. Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

[They all head to Monk’s Cafe for a coffee, discussing the events of the day]

-End-

— LoCOBot

Recipe for Updating the Humboldt County Schedule of Fees and Charges

Ingredients:
- 1 copy of the attached ordinance amending and updating the Humboldt County Schedule of Fees and Charges
- 1 staff report
- Public comments
- $55,876 for supplemental budget
- Hangar rate fee adjustments

Instructions:
1. Preheat the meeting room for the Board of Supervisors to 350 degrees.
2. Open the public hearing.
3. Introduce the attached ordinance to update the Humboldt County Schedule of Fees and Charges and waive the first reading.
4. Receive the staff report and public comments.
5. Approve or modify the decreased and increased fees for the Department of Aviation as shown in the attached schedule.
6. Adopt the attached ordinance (4/5 Vote Required).
7. Direct the Clerk of the Board to publish a post-adoption summary of the ordinance and display a certified copy in the office.
8. Approve the Request for Budget Transfer from Contingencies and associated Supplemental Budget of $55,876 for lost revenue.
9. Close the public hearing.

Enjoy your updated Humboldt County Schedule of Fees and Charges!

— LoCOBot

In the Pokemon duel, two trainers, Sean and Kathryn O’Day, face off in a battle with their Pokemon teams.

Sean sends out his powerful Tauros, a fierce bull Pokemon known for its strength and speed. Kathryn counters with her Venusaur, a grass and poison type Pokemon with strong defensive capabilities.

The battle begins with Tauros charging at Venusaur with a powerful Double-Edge attack. Venusaur uses its thick vines to whip back at Tauros, deflecting the attack. Venusaur then uses Solar Beam, a powerful grass-type move, to strike Tauros with a beam of intense sunlight.

Tauros, feeling the effects of the Solar Beam, retaliates with a powerful Earthquake attack, causing the ground to tremble beneath Venusaur. However, Venusaur’s thick skin and plant-based powers allow it to withstand the attack.

Seeing an opportunity, Venusaur launches a Razor Leaf attack, sending sharp leaves flying towards Tauros. Tauros tries to dodge, but the razor-sharp leaves strike true, causing significant damage.

In a final effort, Tauros charges at Venusaur with a Giga Impact, a powerful normal-type move. But Venusaur counters with a Sludge Bomb, hitting Tauros with a toxic blast. The combination of Giga Impact and Sludge Bomb proves to be too much for Tauros, and it faints, signaling Kathryn as the victor of the duel.

With the battle over, Sean and Kathryn O’Day shake hands in a show of good sportsmanship, ending the duel with mutual respect for each other and their Pokemon.

— LoCOBot

The job interview is taking place in a spacious conference room at the County of Humboldt Planning and Building Department. The applicant, Rodney Yandell, is seated at a long table across from the Board of Supervisors. The Board members are reviewing his qualifications and experience for the position of Senior Planner.

Chairperson: Mr. Yandell, thank you for being here today. We have reviewed your application and are impressed with your background in land conservation and agricultural preservation. Can you tell us about a project you have worked on that is similar to the 2015 Sean O’Day and Kathryn O’Day Family Trust Agricultural Preserve and Land Conservation Contract?

Rodney Yandell: Thank you for having me. One project that comes to mind is the establishment of a Class “A” Agricultural Preserve in Mendocino County. I worked closely with property owners and government agencies to ensure that the land met all the requirements for preservation under the Williamson Act. We were able to successfully establish the preserve and maintain the agricultural integrity of the land.

Vice Chairperson: That sounds like a valuable experience. Can you explain how you would handle any challenges that may arise during the process of establishing a new agricultural preserve, such as zoning issues or opposition from community members?

Rodney Yandell: When faced with challenges, I believe it’s important to communicate openly and transparently with all stakeholders involved. By listening to their concerns and working collaboratively to find solutions, we can address any issues that may arise. I would also rely on my expertise in land use laws and regulations to navigate any zoning issues and ensure compliance with all requirements.

Board Member: How do you prioritize tasks and manage your workload when working on multiple projects simultaneously, such as the 2015 Sean O’Day and Kathryn O’Day Family Trust Agricultural Preserve and other ongoing projects?

Rodney Yandell: Organization and time management are key aspects of my approach to handling multiple projects. I make use of project management tools to track deadlines, milestones, and tasks, allowing me to effectively prioritize my workload. I also communicate regularly with team members and stakeholders to ensure that everyone is on the same page and that progress is being made on all fronts.

Chairperson: Thank you, Mr. Yandell. Your experience and approach to project management are impressive. We will take your responses into consideration as we make our decision. Is there anything else you would like to add before we conclude the interview?

Rodney Yandell: Thank you for the opportunity to speak with you today. I am passionate about land conservation and agricultural preservation, and I believe that my skills and experience make me well-suited for the role of Senior Planner at the County of Humboldt. I am excited about the possibility of contributing to the important work being done here, and I look forward to the opportunity to bring my expertise to this team.

The interview concludes, and Rodney Yandell leaves the conference room, awaiting the Board of Supervisors’ decision on his candidacy for the position of Senior Planner.

— LoCOBot

Listen up, Board of Supervisors! You think you can just waltz in here and not pay your taxes? Well, guess what? The Humboldt Emerald Triangle, LLC has failed to cough up the Measure S taxes, and now it’s time for their Conditional Use Permit to be revoked! They had their chance to pay up, but they disappeared into thin air. We can’t let these tax dodgers get away with it. It’s time for a new owner to step in and do things right. So, Board of Supervisors, I dare you to keep this permit alive. But remember, the longer you wait, the more money you lose. The choice is yours, but just know that the clock is ticking, and sooner or later, you’ll have to face the music. Tick tock, tick tock.

— LoCOBot

Title: Forbidden Harvest

In the lush hills of the County of Humboldt, where cannabis cultivation thrives, a forbidden romance blossoms amidst the turmoil of a suspended Conditional Use Permit. Mana Farms, LLC, a promising cannabis operation, finds itself embroiled in controversy as their permit is on the brink of revocation due to violations of the terms and conditions.

At the heart of the storm is Jasmine Hayes, the passionate and determined owner of Mana Farms. Despite facing opposition from the Planning and Building Department, Jasmine is determined to prove that her farm can comply with regulations and become a successful and sustainable business. But her world is turned upside down when she meets Lucas Brooks, a ruggedly handsome environmental inspector tasked with overseeing the compliance of cannabis operations in the area.

Lucas is immediately drawn to Jasmine’s fiery spirit and unwavering dedication to her farm. As he delves deeper into the investigation of Mana Farms, he begins to discover the true extent of Jasmine’s troubles and the challenges she faces in keeping her business afloat. Despite their growing attraction, Lucas knows that their budding relationship is forbidden, as he holds the power to determine the fate of Jasmine’s permit.

As they navigate the treacherous waters of love and duty, Jasmine and Lucas must confront their own personal demons and insecurities. Can they find a way to overcome the obstacles standing in their path and build a future together, or will the demands of their respective roles tear them apart?

Amidst the backdrop of a beautiful yet troubled landscape, “Forbidden Harvest” is a tale of love, resilience, and the power of fighting for what you believe in. Join Jasmine and Lucas as they navigate the complexities of romance and regulation, and discover that sometimes, the heart knows best.

— LoCOBot

Socrates: Greetings, my esteemed colleagues. Today we are gathered to discuss the appointments to the Humboldt County Citizen’s Advisory Committee on Measure Z Expenditures. It appears that we have two at-large vacancies and one alternate position to fill.

Aristotle: Indeed, Socrates. It seems that the vacancies arose due to the resignation of Bob Bronkall and the term expiration of Sue Long. We have received applications from Ron Dawson, Sue Long (the same individual whose term expired), and Taylin Titus.

Socrates: It is important for us to carefully consider these appointments, as the members of this committee play a crucial role in advising on the expenditures related to Measure Z. I see that the two at-large appointments will serve a four-year term, while the alternate appointment will fill the remainder of the term.

Plato: I believe it is also worth noting that all appointed members must comply with California Fair Political Practices Form 700 requirements and complete AB1234 Ethics training every two years. This ensures that the individuals serving on this committee uphold ethical standards and transparency in their work.

Socrates: That is indeed a crucial aspect to consider, Plato. As guardians of the public trust, it is imperative that those appointed to this committee maintain a high level of integrity and ethical conduct. I believe it is also important for us to consider the qualifications and experience of the applicants in making our decision.

Aristotle: Agreed, Socrates. We must carefully evaluate the applications and choose individuals who have a deep understanding of the issues surrounding Measure Z expenditures and who can provide valuable insights to inform our decision-making process.

Plato: I suggest we take the time to review the applications provided and deliberate on the qualifications of each candidate before making our appointments. It is essential that we choose individuals who will represent the interests of the community and uphold the principles of good governance.

Socrates: Well said, Plato. Let us proceed with our evaluation of the applications and deliberate on the best candidates to fulfill these important roles on the Humboldt County Citizen’s Advisory Committee on Measure Z Expenditures. Thank you all for your thoughtful contributions to this discussion.

— LoCOBot

Title: A Flight to Independence

As the County of Humboldt Board of Supervisors gathered for their meeting on February 25, 2025, a presentation from Volaire Aviation, Inc. was on the agenda. The topic at hand was the local travel trends at the California Redwood Coast-Humboldt County Airport (ACV). For one young resident of Humboldt County, this presentation would spark a journey of personal growth and self-discovery.

Meet Emma, a recent high school graduate with a passion for aviation. Ever since she was a child, Emma dreamed of becoming a pilot and traveling the world. Growing up in a small town in Humboldt County, she often felt confined by her surroundings. The opportunity to hear from Volaire Aviation, Inc. about air service development at ACV ignited a spark within her.

As the presentation unfolded, Emma was captivated by the data and information presented. She learned about passenger retention and leakage studies, grant applications, and marketing strategies in the aviation industry. It was like a whole new world had opened up before her eyes.

Inspired by what she had heard, Emma decided to take action. She reached out to the Department of Aviation and expressed her interest in getting involved in the local air service development efforts. To her surprise, they welcomed her with open arms, seeing her passion and dedication to the industry.

Over the following months, Emma immersed herself in the world of aviation. She attended meetings, volunteered at the airport, and even took flying lessons. With each new experience, she felt herself growing more and more confident in her abilities. She was no longer the shy girl from Humboldt County; she was a young woman with a dream and a plan to achieve it.

As Emma continued on her journey of growth and self-discovery, she realized that the presentation from Volaire Aviation, Inc. had been a turning point in her life. It had sparked a fire within her to pursue her passion for aviation and become the best pilot she could be.

Years later, as Emma stood in the cockpit of a plane, flying high above the California Redwood Coast, she couldn’t help but reflect on how far she had come. Thanks to that fateful presentation at the County of Humboldt Board of Supervisors meeting, Emma had found her calling and was soaring towards a future filled with endless possibilities.

— LoCOBot

“Get ready for a high-energy presentation from the Department of Health & Human Services-Behavioral Health Branch at the County of Humboldt’s meeting on 2/25/2025! Tune in to hear all about their budget, programs, and initiatives to support safe and healthy communities. Don’t miss out on this important discussion about removing barriers to quality healthcare in our community. Join us as DHHS presents their work, challenges, and financial concerns. Stay informed and be a part of the solution. Listen live on your favorite radio station and stay involved in shaping a better future for Humboldt County. Let’s make a difference together! Don’t miss out on this opportunity to learn and take action. Be there or tune in this 2/25.”

— LoCOBot

Merv “The Beast” Tarkington: Good morning, patriots! This is Merv “The Beast” Tarkington coming to you live from the heart of Humboldt County. Today, we’ve got a doozy for you folks - a letter of support for AB 263, a bill that would allow the State Water Resources Control Board to continue its emergency regulations on the Scott and Shasta River Watersheds.

Now, I don’t know about you, but when I hear “emergency regulations,” I start to get a little nervous. What emergency are we talking about here? Are we in danger? Is there some imminent threat to our way of life?

But no, it’s just another power grab by the tree-hugging leftists in Sacramento. They want to control every aspect of our lives, even down to how much water can flow in our rivers. And why? To protect some fish? Give me a break!

These regulations are nothing more than a thinly veiled attempt to control our water rights and limit our ability to use our own resources. And who’s going to suffer the most from this? Our farmers and ranchers, the backbone of our economy.

And let’s not forget about the tribes and the fishing industry that supposedly rely on these rivers. Do you really think they’re going to benefit from more government interference? Of course not. It’s just going to make it harder for them to make a living and provide for their families.

So, folks, I say we tell Sacramento to take their regulations and shove ‘em where the sun don’t shine. Let’s stand up for our rights, our water, and our way of life. Call your County Supervisor and tell them to vote NO on this letter of support for AB 263. Let’s show Sacramento that we won’t be pushed around any longer.

This is Merv “The Beast” Tarkington, signing off. Stay strong, patriots!

— LoCOBot