Are you tired of searching for rental cars outside of the airport when you land? Well, Humboldt County has great news for you! On May 16th, the Board of Supervisors will vote on a non-exclusive rental car concessions agreement with Avis Budget Group Incorporated for the California Redwood Coast-Humboldt County Airport. That’s right, Avis Budget will be offering in-terminal rental car services, providing customers with more options for vehicles, pricing, and service availability. Plus, with the airport expanding its services, now is the perfect time for Avis Budget to serve Humboldt County once again. But we need your support! Make sure to tune in on May 16th, and let’s make this partnership happen. With estimated annual revenue of $145,258, this agreement will not only benefit customers but generate revenue for the county. Don’t miss your chance to have a say in this historic decision. Vote yes on the On-Airport Non-Exclusive Rental Car Concessions Agreement with Avis Budget Group Incorporated for the California Redwood Coast-Humboldt County Airport on May 16th.

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, nestled deep in a fairy tale forest, there stood the California Redwood Coast-Humboldt County Airport (ACV). The airport was surrounded by towering trees, crystal-clear streams, and breathtaking views of nature’s endless beauty. The airport had become a popular destination for people seeking adventures and exploring the vast wilderness that surrounded it.

One day, a group of travelers arrived at the airport in search of adventure. Among them was a young girl named Lily. Lily had always dreamed of exploring the magical forests and the majestic mountains of Humboldt County. As she stepped out of the plane, her eyes were wide open with wonder and excitement. She took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the fresh forest air, and set out to explore the wonders of Humboldt County.

As she walked across the airport parking lot, she noticed that the surface was cracked and broken, with weeds and grass growing through the pavement. The outdated pay booths looked ancient, and some of the lights were flickering, casting eerie shadows on the ground. Lily realized that the parking lot needed a facelift to match the beauty of the surrounding forest.

Determined to help the airport, Lily went to the Board of Supervisors with a plan to rehabilitate the parking lot. The Aviation Department provided an update about the upcoming rehabilitation project, outlining their plans for a complete makeover of the parking lot. Lily was thrilled to hear about the plans and realized that it was exactly what she had been looking for.

The Board of Supervisors approved the plans and specifications for the rehabilitation project, authorizing the Clerk of the Board to advertise the project for bids. The project would replace the outdated pay booths with modern electronic equipment, mill and remove the dilapidated asphalt surface, level the area for ADA compliance, and replace the old asphalt with a new surface. Electrical work associated with the project would include installing up to 50 new electric vehicle charging stations, of which at least four would provide Vehicle to Grid (V2G) capabilities.

The project was evaluated for compliance with the California Environmental Quality Act (CEQA) and the National Environmental Policy Act (NEPA) and determined to meet the criteria for a categorical exemption. The CEQA exemption applies to the replacement or reconstruction of existing facilities where the new facility will have substantially the same purpose as the facility replaced. The Parking Lot design has been configured such that the project would only occur within the existing footprints of the areas at the ACV Airport that have historically been used for parking. The Board of Supervisors found the project exempt from environmental review and directed Aviation Staff to prepare and file the CEQA Notice of Exemption with the County Clerk and Office of Planning and Research.

The project was funded by Aviation Capital Projects, and the engineering estimate for the Parking Lot Rehabilitation Project was $4.5 million. The Department of Aviation had been working closely with the FAA and Humboldt County to apply for and receive 100% reimbursement for the project costs. Lily was pleased to know that the project would not have any impact on the General Fund.

The bidding process was successful, and the County of Humboldt selected the winning bidder. Construction began shortly after approval was granted, and within a few months, the parking lot was completely rehabilitated. Lily returned to Humboldt County a few months later and was thrilled to see the difference that the rehabilitation project had made to the parking lot. She smiled as she walked across the newly-paved surface, happy to have helped make a difference in the County of Humboldt. From then on, Lily had a special place in the hearts of the community, and her story became a legend, told and retold in the enchanted forests and the magical mountains of Humboldt County.

— LoCOBot

As Supervisor Rex Bohn sat at his desk, he couldn’t help but think about the upcoming National Association of Letter Carriers Food Drive Day. It was a day that celebrated the hard work and dedication of letter carriers all across the country, who worked tirelessly to ensure that people received their mail and packages on time.

But this year was different. This year, Rex had a plan. He wanted to make the day even more special by organizing a county-wide food drive that would raise awareness about hunger and poverty in their community.

As he drafted the proclamation, Rex couldn’t help but think about the one person who had inspired him to take on this challenge – his childhood friend, Emily.

Emily had always been passionate about helping others, and had spent years volunteering at local food banks and homeless shelters. Her dedication had inspired Rex to get involved, and together they had spent countless hours organizing food drives and fundraisers.

But over time, their friendship had grown into something more. They had shared long walks on the beach, romantic dinners by candlelight, and stolen kisses under the stars.

As the day of the food drive approached, Rex found himself growing more and more nervous. What if the event was a failure? What if he couldn’t live up to Emily’s expectations?

But then he saw her walking towards him, smiling brightly and carrying a basket of fresh produce.

“Hey there, handsome,” she said, leaning in for a kiss.

Rex felt his worries melt away as Emily took his hand and led him towards the food drive. Together, they spent the day collecting donations, sorting canned goods, and handing out flyers to passersby.

As the sun began to set, Rex and Emily sat on the grass, watching as families filled their baskets with food and children played in the open fields.

“This was amazing,” Emily said, leaning her head on Rex’s shoulder. “I’m so proud of you.”

Rex smiled, knowing that he had done something meaningful and important. But more than that, he knew that he had Emily by his side – and that their love would only grow stronger with each passing day.

— LoCOBot

My dearest Jane,

I write to you now from the trenches under heavy fire from German artillery. The noise and chaos is overwhelming, but I must take a moment to remember why I am here fighting for our country.

In reading this letter, you may be surprised to know that May is Mental Health Month. It seems a strange thing to proclaim during a time of war, but it is a reminder that mental health is just as important as physical health.

I hope that when I return home to you, our community will have increased awareness and understanding of mental health. It is important that citizens take steps to promote their own mental health and that appropriate and accessible services are available to those in need.

I know that you will understand the importance of this proclamation, my love. Please keep me in your thoughts and know that I am fighting for a better future for us all.

Forever yours,
Charles

— LoCOBot

Title: The Retirement Resolution

Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer are all gathered at Monk’s Cafe discussing their latest adventures when Jerry spots an old acquaintance walking down the street.

Jerry: Hey, isn’t that Colette Frugard?

Elaine: Who?

Jerry: Colette Frugard! Don’t you remember her? She used to work in the child support services department here in Humboldt County.

George: Oh, yeah! I remember her. She always had a funny way of saying my name.

Kramer: “George Costanza!”

Jerry: Well, apparently she’s retiring. I just saw a resolution about it on the county website.

Elaine: A resolution? That seems like a lot for someone retiring.

Jerry: Yeah, it’s like a whole big thing. The Board of Supervisors is even involved.

George: (sarcastically) Wow, I’m sure she really made a huge impact on the community.

Jerry: Hey, we don’t know that. Maybe she did some really important work.

Kramer: You know what? I think we should throw her a retirement party!

Elaine: (skeptically) I don’t know, Kramer. I don’t think we really know her well enough.

Kramer: Nonsense! We’ll invite all of her coworkers and make it a big shindig. I’ll even cater it!

Jerry: (smiling) Alright, I’m in.

Later that week, the gang is at Colette’s retirement party. Kramer has gone all out with the catering, and there’s a large crowd mingling and chatting around them.

George: (grudgingly) You know, this isn’t half bad. And I haven’t even run into anyone who owes child support yet!

As they’re all enjoying the party, they notice Supervisor Steve Madrone walking in. He is immediately surrounded by a group of people, and they can hear him talking about a resolution.

Jerry: (whispering) Hey, that must be the guy who proposed the resolution for Colette!

Elaine: (sarcastically) Oh, I’m sure he’s dying to talk to us.

But to their surprise, Supervisor Madrone makes his way over to their group.

Supervisor Madrone: (smiling) Hi there. I couldn’t help but notice you all seem to be having a good time.

Kramer: (proudly) Yeah, I catered the whole thing myself!

Supervisor Madrone: (nodding) Ah yes, the food is excellent. But I have to say, it’s heartwarming to see so many people come out to celebrate Colette’s retirement.

Jerry: (curiously) So what’s the deal with that resolution, anyway?

Supervisor Madrone: (smiling) It’s just a way for the county to officially recognize her years of service and dedication to our community. And as a supervisor, it’s my duty to make sure these things happen.

Elaine: (nodding) Well, it’s certainly a nice gesture.

As the party continues, the gang can’t help but feel a sense of pride in their community. Even if they didn’t know Colette all that well, it was heartening to see how much her work had meant to others. They left the party feeling a little more connected to their hometown, and thankful for the work that people like Colette do every day.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
Humboldt County, ici nous sommes
Ensemble, nous prenons soin des plus vulnérables
En ce mois de mai, nous faisons une proclamation
Pour sensibiliser à CalFresh, l’importance de l’alimentation

(Chorus)
Le CalFresh est un programme vital
Qui aide la communauté dans laquelle nous vivons
Les personnes âgées, les enfants et les handicapés
Tous ont besoin de nourriture pour être épanouis

(Verse 2)
Le mois consacré à cette cause est important
Car ensemble, nous pouvons combattre la faim
Les agences communautaires et le personnel des services sociaux
Travaillent dur pour que tous puissent avoir accès à la nourriture

(Chorus)
Le CalFresh est un programme vital
Qui aide la communauté dans laquelle nous vivons
Les personnes âgées, les enfants et les handicapés
Tous ont besoin de nourriture pour être épanouis

(Bridge)
En adoptant cette proclamation, nous montrons notre soutien
Pour les plus démunis, pour ceux qui ont besoin de nourriture
Nous protégeons les plus vulnérables, c’est notre rôle
Et nous le faisons en fournissant des services communautaires à la hauteur de leurs besoins

(Chorus)
Le CalFresh est un programme vital
Qui aide la communauté dans laquelle nous vivons
Les personnes âgées, les enfants et les handicapés
Tous ont besoin de nourriture pour être épanouis

— LoCOBot

The County of Humboldt was always a quiet and peaceful place, until the meeting of 5/16/2023. Supervisor Michelle Bushnell had a proposal that would change everything. She wanted to write a letter of appreciation to Glen Senestraro for his service on the Fortuna Fire District Commission.

But as easy as it sounded, it wasn’t going to be that simple. For the first time in years, the Board of Supervisors was divided on an issue. Some didn’t think it was necessary to thank Glen, while others believed it was the right thing to do.

As tensions rose, secrets and scandals were revealed about Glen and the Fortuna Fire District Commission. They had made decisions that impacted the community in ways nobody could have imagined. People’s lives were at stake.

Will the Board of Supervisors come to an agreement and sign the letter of appreciation? Or will they expose the truth about the Fortuna Fire District Commission and bring justice to the community? This is the County of Humboldt, and nothing is what it seems.

Find out in “Humboldt County: The Meeting of 5/16/2023.”

— LoCOBot

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! I am excited to present you with what could be the perfect car for your upcoming celebration of the Redwood Forest Chapter of the Daughters of the American Revolution’s 100th Year Anniversary. This car not only fits your budget but your style as well! Imagine cruising in with this sleek, red 2015 Ford Mustang, turning the heads of all those present in your celebration. With its powerful V8 engine and top-of-the-line features, like leather seats, Bluetooth connectivity, and a rearview camera, you’ll surely make a statement. And the best part is, there’s no financial impact on your budget when you purchase this ride! Show your community-appropriate level of service by presenting yourselves in style. Don’t miss this chance, make it yours today!”

— LoCOBot

Listen up, Board of Supervisors, you’re about to make a big mistake! Child Support Services wants to allocate one full-time staff services analyst to Budget Unit 1380, but you need to realize that Trinity County employees will be replaced by Humboldt County employees. Don’t mess this up or you’ll risk losing state and federal funding. Do the right thing and approve this allocation to stay in compliance with the regionalization MOU. Trust me, denying this request will only lead to chaos and loss in the long run. Make the smart choice and approve this allocation.

— LoCOBot

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

JOHN, a man in his late 30s, sits across from a panel of three supervisors, JANE, BOB, and SARAH. They all wear serious expressions as they review John’s application.

JANE: So, John, could you tell us a little bit about your experience with local government?

JOHN: Yes, I actually worked as a clerk for the city of Eureka for a few years before moving onto the private sector. I’m familiar with California Governmental Code Section 25103, and I’ve worked with many of the same procedures that you use here in Humboldt County.

BOB: Great. And could you walk us through your experience with minute-taking? We really value accuracy and attention to detail in that regard.

JOHN: Of course. I was responsible for taking minutes at every city council meeting during my time in Eureka. I know how to capture the essence of the meeting without leaving out important details, and I’m skilled at formatting and proofreading the final document.

SARAH: Excellent. We also noticed that you have experience with the General Fund. Could you elaborate on that?

JOHN: Yes, in my previous job, I was responsible for tracking expenses and revenue related to the General Fund. I worked with the budget office to allocate funds and ensure that they were being used effectively.

JANE: That’s very impressive. Lastly, how do you handle tight deadlines and pressure?

JOHN: I’m very organized and have strong time management skills, which allows me to prioritize my tasks and meet deadlines. I believe that preparation and focus are key to handling pressure.

The panel nods in agreement.

BOB: Well, John, based on your experience and qualifications, we feel that you would be an excellent fit for this position. We’ll be in touch soon about our decision.

JOHN: Thank you very much. I appreciate the opportunity.

— LoCOBot

Welcome to The Beast’s Den, where we speak the truth you won’t hear anywhere else. Today’s topic is the County of Humboldt’s Project Trellis Local Equity Program Grant Funding.

Listen up, patriots, this is just another example of big government wasting our hard-earned tax dollars on their pet projects. They claim it’s for the “support of individuals and communities in Humboldt’s cannabis industry who are linked to populations or neighborhoods negatively or disproportionately impacted by cannabis criminalization,” but we know the truth.

What they’re really doing is throwing money at a problem that doesn’t exist. The cannabis industry is booming, and these businesses don’t need handouts from the government. They should be standing on their own two feet, just like every other hardworking American.

And let’s not forget that this grant is coming from the Economic Development Fund. How can we develop our economy if we’re constantly giving away our resources to special interest groups? These funds should be going towards infrastructure and education, not the cannabis industry.

I urge the Board of Supervisors to reject this grant funding and focus on the real issues facing our community. We need to stop the government from playing favorites and start supporting the American dream for everyone, not just those with political connections.

Join me, Merv “The Beast” Tarkington, in the fight against big government tyranny. Together, we can make America great again.

— LoCOBot

Campaign Name: The Courthouse Modification Quest

Campaign Overview: The players are hired by the County of Humboldt to oversee and protect the construction of the Fourth Street ADA Modification Project at the courthouse. However, they quickly discover that a group of corrupt contractors and officials are attempting to sabotage the project for their own gain. The players must navigate through political intrigue, espionage, and combat to ensure that the project is completed successfully and on time.

Adventure 1: Contractual Obligations
The players are hired by the County Administrative Office to oversee the construction of the Fourth Street ADA Modification Project at the Humboldt County Courthouse. They are introduced to the project team, including the architects and the contractor, Adams Commercial General Contracting, Inc. The players are briefed on the project and given access to the project plans. They are also warned that there may be parties who are attempting to sabotage the project.

Quest Objectives:
- Meet with the project team and review the plans
- Investigate any suspicious activity around the construction site
- Report any issues or concerns to the County Administrative Office

Adventure 2: Political Maneuvers
The players attend a board meeting where the bid for the project is being awarded to Adams Commercial General Contracting, Inc. However, they quickly discover that there are protests from rival contractors who claim that the bidding process was biased. They also suspect that corrupt officials may have accepted bribes to award the project to Adams Commercial General Contracting, Inc.

Quest Objectives:
- Investigate the bidding process and any alleged corruption
- Protect the construction site from any attempts at sabotage
- Convince the board to award the bid to Adams Commercial General Contracting, Inc. if they can prove that they submitted the most responsible and responsive bid

Adventure 3: Infiltration and Espionage
The players receive intel that a rival contractor has hired a group of thieves to break into the construction site and steal the project plans. The rival contractor hopes to use the stolen plans to build a copy of the courthouse modification and outbid the County of Humboldt for future projects. The players must infiltrate the thieves’ hideout and retrieve the stolen plans.

Quest Objectives:
- Infiltrate the thieves’ hideout
- Retrieve the stolen plans
- Uncover any information on who hired the thieves and their motives

Adventure 4: The Final Showdown
As construction on the project reaches completion, the players discover that the corrupt officials and contractors are attempting one final sabotage. They plan to damage the new modifications and blame it on Adams Commercial General Contracting, Inc. in an attempt to nullify their contract and claim compensation for the damage. The players must protect the construction site from the saboteurs and ensure that the modifications are completed on time and without any damage.

Quest Objectives:
- Protect the construction site from the saboteurs
- Ensure that the modifications are completed on time and without damage
- Report any suspicious activity to the County Administrative Office and local law enforcement.

— LoCOBot

Beavis: Uh huh huh, dude, what is all this legal crap?

Butt-head: Yeah, I don’t know. It’s all like, “engagement agreement”, “liability fund”, “counsel-level attorney”. It’s making my head hurt.

Beavis: Yeah, it’s like, way too much thinking and stuff.

Butt-head: Wait, did you hear that part about the hourly rate?

Beavis: Uh, no. What about it?

Butt-head: It’s like, $405 per hour for that attorney guy. That’s a lot of money.

Beavis: Whoa, that dude must be really smart or something.

Butt-head: Yeah, or maybe he just talks really fancy and uses big words.

Beavis: Yeah, like “strategic framework” and “public/private partnerships”. What does that even mean?

Butt-head: I don’t know, but it sounds important. Maybe they should just hire us to interpret all this legal stuff.

Beavis: Yeah, we could be like, “Uh huh huh, we recommend that you approve this thingy because it’s like, totally cool and it won’t mess with the General Fund or whatever.”

Butt-head: Yeah, and we could charge like, $406 per hour. We’d be rich!

Beavis: Uh huh huh, yeah! We could buy nachos and stuff.

Butt-head: Yeah, and maybe we could even solve problems and stuff. Like, “Hey, we have a problem. Let’s eat nachos and forget about it.”

Beavis: Uh huh huh, problem solved!

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
Oh, come all ye Board of Supervisors,
Listen to my tale today,
About a Communicable Disease Investigator,
We need to add to our Public Health’s sway.

Chorus:
Humboldt County, hear our cry,
Allocate the position, don’t deny,
To investigate communicable disease,
And keep our community’s health at ease.

Verse 2:
The FoPH funding has arrived,
To transform and modernize,
Our Public Health system’s workforce,
To handle threats that may arise.

Chorus:
Humboldt County, hear our cry,
Allocate the position, don’t deny,
To investigate communicable disease,
And keep our community’s health at ease.

Verse 3:
CDPH has approved our spend plan,
And allocated funds to our branch,
To fill staffing gaps and meet the demand,
For communicable disease’s chance.

Chorus:
Humboldt County, hear our cry,
Allocate the position, don’t deny,
To investigate communicable disease,
And keep our community’s health at ease.

Verse 4:
This Investigator position,
Will investigate infectious disease within,
And build capacity for outbreak response,
To keep our community safe and win.

Chorus:
Humboldt County, hear our cry,
Allocate the position, don’t deny,
To investigate communicable disease,
And keep our community’s health at ease.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
In the County of Humboldt, they got a meeting on the books
Gonna talk about expert witness services, and how it all looks
DHHS Social Services says Richard England’s the man
Gonna provide his expert opinion to fulfill the Indian Child Welfare Act plan

Chorus:
Vote requirement’s a majority, gotta get it done
Professional services agreement, with Richard England’s the one
Funding sources are state and federal, no impact on the General Fund
Protecting vulnerable populations, making things safer for everyone

Verse 2:
Richard England’s been doing this since 2013, going strong
Reviewing case records and reports, interviews all day long
His opinions help with custody decisions, and placement preferences too
Making sure the Indian Child Welfare Act is followed all the way through

Chorus:
Vote requirement’s a majority, gotta get it done
Professional services agreement, with Richard England’s the one
Funding sources are state and federal, no impact on the General Fund
Protecting vulnerable populations, making things safer for everyone

Verse 3:
The agreement’s for two years, from July 1, 2023 to June 30, 2025
Payable up to 140 grand, but yearly limits will derive
Local, state, or federal funding drops, the max will decline as well
Humboldt County won’t be on the line, if things don’t go so swell

Chorus:
Vote requirement’s a majority, gotta get it done
Professional services agreement, with Richard England’s the one
Funding sources are state and federal, no impact on the General Fund
Protecting vulnerable populations, making things safer for everyone

Outro:
Humboldt County’s got this, with Richard England in the fold
Keeping the Indian Child Welfare Act in check, making sure it doesn’t get old
Protecting the kids and families, that’s what it’s all about
Funkin’ it up for a good cause, let’s all give a shout!

— LoCOBot

In a distant land filled with Pokemon, the Board of Supervisors of the County of Humboldt holds a meeting to discuss the provision of long-term residential skilled nursing and mental health treatment services for adults with chronic physical and mental illnesses. As the board members debate the issue, two Pokemon trainers approach each other to engage in a duel.

Trainer 1: “I choose you, Gardevoir!”

Gardevoir emerges from its Pokeball, ready for battle.

Trainer 2: “I choose you, Alakazam!”

Alakazam appears, its psychic powers at the ready.

As the two Pokemon face off, their trainers take note of the important discussion taking place at the board meeting. They decide to use their Pokemon to demonstrate the importance of mental health treatment services for those in need.

Trainer 1: “Gardevoir, use your psychic powers to show the board members the impact of mental illness on individuals and their families!”

Gardevoir uses its psychic abilities to show images of individuals struggling with mental illness and the impact it has on their lives. The board members take note and listen intently.

Trainer 2: “Alakazam, now show them the impact of long-term residential skilled nursing services on individuals in need.”

Alakazam uses its psychic powers to show images of individuals receiving proper care and treatment, and the positive impact it has on their lives.

The board members are convinced and vote in favor of the provision of long-term residential skilled nursing and mental health treatment services for adults with chronic physical and mental illnesses. Gardevoir and Alakazam celebrate their contribution to the important decision and their trainers feel proud to have helped in their own way.

— LoCOBot

The Humboldt County Department of Environmental Health’s Hazardous Material Program is not actually collecting fees for the California Air Resource Board, but rather funneling the money into a secret government program. The delay in paying the fees was not due to administrative mishandling, but rather a cover-up for the government agency to use the funds for their undisclosed project. The increase in expenditures was not unexpected, but rather the result of the government agency diverting more money towards their secret program. The supplemental budget request is not actually for realignment, but rather a way to cover up the government agency’s misuse of funds. The Board of Supervisors is being unknowingly complicit in the government agency’s secretive actions by approving the supplemental budget request.

— LoCOBot

Socrates: What is the subject of the meeting?

DHHS: Public Health: The subject of the meeting is the approval of a supplemental budget for the Public Health Fiscal Year (FY) 2021-2022 CA Dept or PH Hep C Virus Prevention.

Socrates: Can you give me a brief explanation of the request for the supplemental budget?

DHHS: Public Health: Yes. The supplemental budget request is for Fund 1175, Budget Unit 437006, CA Department of Public Health Hep C Virus Prevention. The request is to account for roll-over funds for FY 2021-22 from grant agreement #19-10926 through the California Department of Public Health. The supplemental budget will increase the revenue and expenditures by $280,252 to perform grant deliverables.

Socrates: What is the grant for?

DHHS: Public Health: The grant is for the hepatitis C virus prevention program (HCV) to provide activities related to monitoring, prevention, testing, and linkage to and retention in care activities for the most vulnerable and underserved individuals living with or at high risk for HCV infection in collaboration with a non-profit, community-based organization (CBO).

Socrates: How were the allocated funds used?

DHHS: Public Health: The allocated funds were used to develop and implement a public education and outreach program to raise HCV awareness in high-risk groups, physician’s offices, among health care workers, and in health care facilities by including HCV counseling, education, and testing, as appropriate, into existing local state-funded programs including those addressing HIV, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), and other appropriate programs.

Socrates: What is the financial impact of this request?

DHHS: Public Health: The total expenditures for this request for FY21-22 are $458,590, with budgeted expenses of $178,338 and an additional appropriation requested of $280,252. The funding sources are state and federal funds for a total of $458,590.

Socrates: How does this request impact staffing levels within the Public Health department?

DHHS: Public Health: This grant helped maintain staffing levels in the HCV program.

Socrates: Is there an alternative to approving this supplemental budget request?

DHHS: Public Health: The Board may choose not to approve this supplemental budget request; however, this alternative is not recommended since it would impact DHHS - Public Health’s ability to accurately represent additional allocations in DHHS - Public Health’s budget.

Socrates: Thank you for explaining the request for the supplemental budget for the Public Health Fiscal Year 2021-2022 CA Dept or PH Hep C Virus Prevention. I believe that the request should be approved to continue providing crucial services to vulnerable populations and to maintain staffing levels.

— LoCOBot

In the year 2023, the County of Humboldt was undergoing major changes in its Planning and Building Department. A Human Resources consulting agency had conducted a review of the department’s Permit and Planner series and found that the current classifications were not appropriate for the duties being performed. The recommendations by the consulting agency resulted in the need for salary increases and position allocation modifications for Senior Planners.

Little did anyone know, the changes were not just about the workforce, but also about preparing for the future. Steven Lazar, a 37.5-hour Senior Planner, was one of the employees affected by the changes. His position was to be transferred to a 0.9375 FTE Senior Planner classification effective the pay period following Board approval. However, no one suspected that Steven Lazar had a secret.

Steven was a scientist working on a highly classified project that involved time travel. He had come from the year 2050, where the world was in turmoil due to climate change and political unrest. Time travel was the only hope for humanity to change the course of events and create a better future.

Steven had used his knowledge from the future to help the County of Humboldt make better planning decisions that would contribute to a more sustainable and environmentally conscious future. His work in the Planning and Building Department was crucial in shaping the future of the county and the world.

The salary increases and position allocation modifications were just a cover-up for the real reason behind Steven’s transfer. The County of Humboldt had recognized the importance of his work and was willing to support him in his mission to save the world.

As Steven transferred to his new position, he knew that he had the support of the County of Humboldt behind him. He would continue to work towards a better future, knowing that every decision he made could affect the outcome of the world in 2050.

The changes in the Planning and Building Department were not just about compensation and classification, but also about preparing for the future and making a difference. Steven Lazar’s secret was safe, and the county was ready for whatever the future had in store.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
We’ve got a meeting set for May 16th
Board of Supervisors, pay attention to this
Human Resources has got a recommendation
For new classifications in our Communications Division

Chorus:
Radio Communications Technicians are needed
And a Senior one too, that’s what they pleaded
Allocate 1.0 FTE for each position
And adopt the new classifications with board permission

Verse 2:
These positions are essential, don’t you see
For the County’s radio infrastructure to be
Reliable and secure, it needs skilled technicians
To maintain, repair, and upgrade with precision

(Chorus)

Verse 3:
The salary range for these new positions
Will be in line with the IT Technician conditions
We’ve got the funds in the Communications budget
To cover these new allocations, we won’t budge it

(Chorus)

Verse 4:
This action supports our Strategic Framework priority
Of investing in employees and ensuring sustainability
Denying this request would be a mistake
These changes will appropriately classify the work at stake

(Chorus x2)

— LoCOBot

The County of Humboldt, me lads and lasses,
Has a matter before the Board of Supervisors it passes.
For the meeting of five-sixteen in two thousand and twenty-three,
Human Resources brings forth a recommendation for the AFSCME.

The subject at hand concerns amendments to the Salary Range and Classification Summaries,
Effective on various dates, including June twenty-eight in two thousand and twenty,
And the Compensation and Classification Summaries too,
From May twenty-fifth, twenty-twenty-one, to February six, twenty-twenty-two.

The recommendation is for the Board to adopt this resolution,
With a vote requirement of a majority, to make the necessary solution.
And the source of funding is the General Fund, one-one-zero-zero,
But don’t worry, there is no financial impact, so it’s all honky-dory, you know?

So, what’s the discussion, you may wonder, with this HR recommendation,
Well, it seems that something was amiss with these schedules’ presentation.
The California Public Employers Retirement System pointed out that they lacked a crucial detail,
The time base was missing, which caused for confusion, to no avail.

So, the HR department recommends this amendment,
Properly indicating that hourly rates are what is represented.
For the AFSCME classifications and Comprehensive Compensation Schedules,
This will allow for CalPERS to process retirement for employees, and prevent any hassles.

No staffing impact as far as the HR department can tell,
And it supports the Board’s Strategic Framework, so it’s all swell.
CalPERS is the only other agency involved in this action,
And it is strongly recommended to approve this modification.

So, the Board has a choice, to approve or deny,
But it’s not recommended to let this recommendation pass by.
For CalPERS needs these amendments to process an employee’s retirement application,
So, let’s adopt this resolution and bring a satisfactory conclusion.

— LoCOBot

Once upon a time, in the County of Humboldt, there was a town called Eureka. Eureka had a beautiful library that was loved by everyone. But as time passed, the library started showing signs of wear and tear. The boilers were old and needed replacing, the exterior lights were failing, and the server room air conditioning was not working properly. Everyone was worried about the safety of the library and how it would affect the people who used it.

One day, the Libraries department came up with a plan to fix the library with the help of a grant from the California State Library’s Building Forward program. The grant provided $170,788 to help make the necessary repairs and ensure that the library stayed safe and comfortable.

The Board of Supervisors met on 5/16/2023 and voted to accept the grant funds and implement the Building Forward Library Infrastructure grant for the Eureka Library. Everyone was thrilled with this news, and work soon began to fix the library.

The Eureka Library’s Building Forward Implementation Team worked together with the Public Works team to manage the project and ensure that everything was done correctly. Despite some challenges along the way, the library was eventually fixed, and it was better than ever before.

The new boilers and server room air conditioning unit were energy-efficient, and the new exterior lighting fixtures enhanced the safety and security of the area. Everyone was happy to see that the library was restored to its former glory and could continue to be enjoyed by the people of Eureka.

So, every night before bedtime, the people of Eureka would gather at the library to read books, study, and enjoy the company of their friends and family. They were grateful for the California State Library’s Building Forward program and the Board of Supervisors’ decision to accept the grant, which made it all possible. And with each passing day, the library remained a cherished place in the hearts of everyone who loved it.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
In the heart of Humboldt County
Stands a library for all to see
Fortuna branch, in need of some repair
But with Building Forward, we’ll get there

Chorus:
Let’s build a better library
Make it accessible to all, you’ll see
With the grant funds, we’ll renovate
And create a space that’s up-to-date

Verse 2:
The City of Fortuna applied
For a grant to improve and provide
Life, safety, and critical upgrades
For this beloved community space

Chorus:
Let’s build a better library
Make it accessible to all, you’ll see
With the grant funds, we’ll renovate
And create a space that’s up-to-date

Verse 3:
The redesign will address a need
To provide a space for teens to read
And technology and study areas too
For all to use and enjoy, it’s true

Chorus:
Let’s build a better library
Make it accessible to all, you’ll see
With the grant funds, we’ll renovate
And create a space that’s up-to-date

Verse 4:
The library will meet ADA standards
Ensuring access for all in its parameters
With a contemporary aesthetic fit
To welcome all who enter it

Chorus:
Let’s build a better library
Make it accessible to all, you’ll see
With the grant funds, we’ll renovate
And create a space that’s up-to-date

Outro:
Let’s support the Fortuna Library
And ensure it’s a place for all to see
With Building Forward, we can make a change
And provide a space that’s welcoming and range.

— LoCOBot

As the crew of the USS Enterprise approached Earth, Captain James T. Kirk received a message from Starfleet Command. It was a request to transport a team of engineers and architects to Fortuna, California, where they were to assist with the redesign and remodel of the Fortuna Library. Kirk immediately ordered his team to prepare for the mission.

Upon arriving at Fortuna, Kirk and his team were greeted by a group of officials from the County of Humboldt. They were taken to the site of the library, where they met with the engineers and architects who were already hard at work on the project.

As they walked through the library, Kirk couldn’t help but notice the excitement in the air. It was clear that the people of Fortuna were invested in their library and were eager to see it updated to meet the needs of their community.

Kirk and his team got straight to work, using their expertise to help the engineers and architects create a design that was not only ADA compliant but also modern and inviting. They worked alongside the local team, sharing ideas and collaborating to create a space that would serve the community for years to come.

During their time in Fortuna, Kirk and his team also had the opportunity to explore the area and meet with locals. They learned about the unique challenges and opportunities facing the community and were able to offer insights into how similar issues had been addressed on other planets.

As the project came to a close, Kirk and his team were proud of the work they had accomplished. They knew that the library in Fortuna would now be a place where people could come together, learn, and grow. And, as they departed for their next mission, Kirk made a mental note to check back in on the library and see how the community was using the space they had helped to create.

— LoCOBot

Hear ye, hear ye! The County of Humboldt has an important meeting on May 16, 2023. The agenda section is consent and the vote requirement is a majority. The subject at hand is regarding a Berthing Permit and Rental Agreement with the Humboldt Bay Harbor, Recreation, and Conservation District for the use of moorage space located at Woodley Island Marina.

The recommendations are as follows:

1. Waive the requirements of the Humboldt County Nuclear-Free Ordinance
2. Approve and authorize the Chair of the Board to execute the attached permit and rental agreement
3. Direct the Clerk of the Board to return one fully executed original copy of the attached permit and rental agreement

Funding for this agreement is available through the Boating Safety and Enforcement Financial Aid Program for a total of $3,930. The agreement is valid from July 1, 2023, through June 30, 2024, and will not impact current staffing levels.

It is highly encouraged that the Board approves this agreement as it will provide and maintain infrastructure for boating safety in the county. Attend the meeting on May 16, 2023, to cast your vote and support this important agreement.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
On the County of Humboldt’s board meeting day
They met to decide on the Humboldt Bay Trail
Public Works came with a recommendation of note
To approve Ghirardelli and Associates, Inc. for the quote

Chorus:
Oh, Humboldt Bay Trail South, we’re gonna build you right
Connecting Eureka to Arcata is just in sight
Consultant management by Ghirardelli and Associates
We’ll create a legacy that future generations will appreciate

Verse 2:
The project will expand the trail by four and a quarter miles
Completing the connection with no obstacles or trials
It’ll promote active transportation and coastal access
A recreational paradise for all people to assess

Chorus:
Oh, Humboldt Bay Trail South, we’re gonna build you right
Connecting Eureka to Arcata is just in sight
Consultant management by Ghirardelli and Associates
We’ll create a legacy that future generations will appreciate

Verse 3:
Public Works put out an RFQ for the best firm to choose
But only Ghirardelli and Associates did submit, it’s true
Caltrans Division of Local Assistance approved their selection
So Public Works returned to the Board’s direction

Chorus:
Oh, Humboldt Bay Trail South, we’re gonna build you right
Connecting Eureka to Arcata is just in sight
Consultant management by Ghirardelli and Associates
We’ll create a legacy that future generations will appreciate

Verse 4:
The budget is set and the funding sources are clear
With Bicycle & Trailways, Coastal Conservancy, and Caltrans near
The staffing impact is minimal, no need to hire anew
The project aligns with the Board’s strategic framework too

Chorus:
Oh, Humboldt Bay Trail South, we’re gonna build you right
Connecting Eureka to Arcata is just in sight
Consultant management by Ghirardelli and Associates
We’ll create a legacy that future generations will appreciate

Outro:
The Board of Supervisors voted with a majority’s hand
To approve Ghirardelli and Associates for this land
May 16, 2023, the meeting that made it all clear
Humboldt Bay Trail South, we’re so glad you’re here.

— LoCOBot

(Scene opens with the Board of Supervisors seated at a long table, facing the audience. A representative from Public Works stands at the podium)

Representative: Good morning, members of the Board. Today we are presenting the Storm Damage Repair to Telegraph Creek Road project. As you can see on the attached plans and specifications, the project consists of removing and re-placing the damaged culvert and concrete headwalls, rebuilding the roadway section, installing overside drains to capture surface drainage, and applying erosion control items.

(Slides of the damaged area and proposed repairs are presented on a screen)

Representative: Telegraph Creek Road, located in the community of Shelter Cove, experienced significant roadway failure due to high flows in the creek during the 2019 atmospheric river event resulting in flooding and mudslides. The roadway failure also caused a water main that services residents in the Shelter Cove Subdivision to break which further eroded and closed the roadway. Public Works performed emergency measures, including a temporary flat car bridge to span the damaged area, to reopen the road.

On May 1, 2020, the Humboldt County Department of Public Works received notification of project approval from the Federal Emergency Management Agency. Public Works subsequently prepared the attached plans and specifications for the project based on a topographic survey of the damaged area prepared by Points West Surveying Company.

The project falls under Categorical Exemption Class 2, Replacement or Reconstruction and the Statutory Exemption for Emergency Projects under CEQA guidelines. The total cost of the project is estimated to be $838,091.00.

We recommend that the Board of Supervisors approve the attached plans and specifications, find that the project is exempt from environmental review, and advertise the Telegraph Creek Road project as required by Section 22037 of the California Public Contract Code, with bids to be opened on Tuesday, June 13, 2023, at 2:00 p.m.

(Board members nod in agreement)

Chairman: Thank you for your presentation. Are there any questions or comments from the Board?

(Board members remain silent)

Chairman: No questions or comments. Then I move to vote on the recommendations from Public Works. All those in favor?

(Board members raise their hands)

Chairman: The motion is carried. Thank you for your hard work on this project.

(The representative from Public Works exits the stage as the Board members turn to the next item on the agenda)

— LoCOBot

In County of Humboldt, on 5/16/2023,
The Board of Supervisors had a story,
Of storm damage repair to Alderpoint Road,
Bid award authorization was the mode.

Public Works sent a recommendation,
To award the project to Mercer-Fraser Corporation,
For a total cost of four million two hundred sixteen thousand nine hundred ninety-one,
And authorize change orders for each post mile one by one.

Funds came from Road and Federal Highway Administration,
With an estimated budget of five million two hundred seventy thousand,
Though roads were underfunded and may impact General Fund,
The Board had no choice but to proceed to the end.

The staff impact was none,
Strategic Framework was followed as one,
The alternative not recommended,
To restore pre-disaster conditions was what was intended.

Bid results and construction agreement were attached,
Previous action ordered and referred back,
In the end, the Board of Supervisors made their call,
To bring safety to Alderpoint Road for one and for all.

— LoCOBot

The Board of Supervisors sat at their table, discussing the Hornstein Final Map Subdivision. The room was dimly lit, creating an eerie atmosphere. Suddenly, the doors at the back of the room burst open, and three masked men rushed in with guns in hand.

Panic spread throughout the room as the intruders shouted for everyone to get down on the ground. They made their way towards the front of the room, guns pointed at the board members.

The leader of the group approached the table and grabbed the file labeled “23-567” from the clerk’s hands. “This is what we’re after,” he said, sneering at the terrified members of the board.

Without waiting for a response, the three intruders hurriedly made their way out of the room, disappearing into the night with the file in hand. Chaos and confusion reigned in the aftermath, as the board members tried to regain their composure and make sense of what had just happened. It soon became clear that something sinister was afoot, and they would need to act quickly to uncover the truth behind the Hornstein Final Map Subdivision.

— LoCOBot

The protagonist, Jack, is a recent college graduate with a degree in civil engineering. He grew up in the rural County of Humboldt and is passionate about improving his community’s infrastructure. Jack has been applying to various engineering firms since graduation but has not had any luck finding a job.

One day, Jack’s father, who works for the Department of Public Works, tells him about a storm damage repair project on Monument Road. The project requires a civil engineer to oversee the repair work, and the department is struggling to find one. Jack sees this as an opportunity to gain some experience and makes his passion for infrastructure known to his father.

After some convincing, Jack’s father vouches for him, and Jack lands the job with the Public Works Department. On the day of the board meeting, Jack is nervous about presenting the bid proposals to the Board of Supervisors.

As Jack presents the proposals, he showcases his knowledge and skills as a civil engineer, impressing the Board members and gaining their trust. The Board awards the project agreement to the Mercer-Fraser Company for the recommended amount. Jack is thrilled to have played a vital role in the project and gains valuable experience working on the repair project.

As the project progresses, Jack is responsible for managing the construction site, ensuring that the project stays within budget and on schedule. He overcomes various challenges, such as inclement weather and the shortage of construction materials, to make sure the repair work is completed on time.

Through this experience, Jack gains valuable knowledge and practical skills that could not have been taught in college. He becomes more confident in his abilities as a civil engineer and gains the respect of his colleagues at work.

By the end of the project, Jack has come full circle in his journey and has achieved his goal of making a positive impact on his community’s infrastructure. He continues working with the Public Works Department and, with his newfound confidence and skills, becomes an essential member of the department.

— LoCOBot

The gang was driving through the county of Humboldt when they noticed a large gathering at the County Building. Curiosity got the best of them and they decided to investigate. Upon arriving, they saw that the meeting was about the development impact fees and how they could affect the community.

Supervisor Natalie Arroyo was in the middle of explaining the purpose and recommendations of the impact fees when suddenly, the lights went out. The gang heard a loud thud and a scream. They quickly sprang into action, with Scooby and Shaggy leading the way.

As they made their way through the darkened hallways, they encountered several obstacles, including locked doors and trapped hallways. After some quick thinking and a lot of courage, they were able to navigate their way to the source of the noise.

They found a man lying on the floor, unconscious. He had tripped over a wire that had been put in his path and hit his head on a nearby table. The gang immediately called for an ambulance and stayed with the man until help arrived.

After the man was safely taken away, the gang continued their investigation. They found evidence of foul play and quickly realized that someone was trying to stop the development impact fees from being put in place.

Through their investigation, they discovered that a group of developers was behind the sabotage. They were afraid that the impact fees would affect their bottom line and hurt their profits. With the evidence in hand, the gang called the police and the developers were arrested.

In the end, the Board of Supervisors approved the development impact fees, ensuring that the community wouldn’t have to bear the brunt of the costs of new development. The gang had once again saved the day and solved a mystery. As they were leaving, Scooby and Shaggy made sure to grab a few snacks for the road.

— LoCOBot

Detective Sarah Williams arrived at the meeting of the Board of Supervisors early, feeling a sense of excitement mingled with nervousness. She had been assigned a new case, and this meeting was a crucial clue in the puzzle she was about to solve. Standing at the back of the room, she watched as the members of the F&GAC took their seats at the front of the room.

The information report was meant to be about retaining public access to the navigable rivers and coastal areas in Humboldt County. But Sarah knew that there was more to it than that. She had received a tip-off that there was something fishy going on in Hydesville, and that this meeting was critical in uncovering it.

As the meeting began, Sarah listened attentively as Bruce Cann, a member of the F&GAC, addressed the Board about the attempt to vacate the southern portion of Fisher Road. He spoke passionately about the importance of public access to these natural resources, and the potential consequences of losing them for the community.

But Sarah couldn’t help but feel that there was something missing from his story. She had a hunch that there was some other motive driving the attempted road vacation, and that it might be linked to a recent spate of thefts in the area.

She decided to investigate further, and after the meeting, she approached Bruce Cann to ask him some questions. As she interviewed him, she noticed that he seemed nervous and evasive, and that his story didn’t quite add up.

That’s when she knew that she was onto something.

Over the course of the next few weeks, Sarah pieced together a complex web of corruption and deceit. It turned out that Bruce Cann was part of a group of individuals who were trying to gain control of the land around Fisher Road, with the ultimate goal of profiting from its development.

Through a combination of careful sleuthing and a bit of luck, Sarah was able to uncover their plot and bring them to justice. The Board of Supervisors ended up rejecting the proposed road vacation, and the public continued to have access to the navigable rivers and coastal areas.

As for Sarah, she felt a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. There was nothing quite like the feeling of cracking a case, and she knew that she had done her part in protecting the people and resources of Humboldt County.

— LoCOBot

“I tell you, even the COUNTY OF HUMBOLDT is acknowledging old age now. They’re proclaiming May 2023 as Older American Month! I’m thinking of submitting my own report on my aching back and lack of respect.” - Rodney Dangerfield

— LoCOBot