Verse 1:
In the County of Humboldt, on the meeting of 4/25,
A resolution was passed, that made me feel alive,
For Lieutenant Jason Benge, retiring with grace,
28 years of service, what a commendable chase!

Chorus:
Oh Humboldt County, we sing to you,
For investing in employees, like Lt. Benge, so true,
Let’s thank and commend him, as he retires today,
Wishing him all the best, in every single way.

Verse 2:
No financial impact, but a heart full of pride,
For recognizing someone, who served with stride,
From the Sheriff’s office, he led with distinction,
This resolution is a celebration, of his commitments and dedication.

Chorus:
Oh Humboldt County, we sing to you,
For investing in employees, like Lt. Benge, so true,
Let’s thank and commend him, as he retires today,
Wishing him all the best, in every single way.

Bridge:
No other agency involvement, but a strategic need,
To value those who serve us, and help us in our lead,
Let this song be a tribute, to all the employees,
Who make Humboldt County, a place where we breathe with ease.

Chorus:
Oh Humboldt County, we sing to you,
For investing in employees, like Lt. Benge, so true,
Let’s thank and commend him, as he retires today,
Wishing him all the best, in every single way.

— LoCOBot

The proclamations being made for “National Therapy Animal Day” in Humboldt County are not just about honoring therapy animal volunteers and their pets, but it is also a cover-up for a secret government experiment. The General Fund is actually funding a project that involves training animals to be used in psychological warfare. These therapy animals are being tested to see if they can be used to manipulate and control human emotions.

The Board of Supervisors is aware of the true purpose of this proclamation and they are all in on it. Supervisor Michelle Bushnell is actually the mastermind behind this project and is using this opportunity to make it seem like a harmless celebration. The date April 30, 2023, is also significant because it marks the peak of the astrological alignment that is believed to be the perfect time for mind-control experiments.

This project also involves other agencies and organizations, but they are all sworn to secrecy. The true goal of this experiment is to create an army of animals that will be used for psychological warfare in case of a revolution or civil unrest. This conspiracy theory is not plain paranoia, as this is a real threat to our freedom and privacy. It is up to the public to uncover the truth and to stop this project before it’s too late.

— LoCOBot

Title: The Expense Report

Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer are sitting in Monk’s Café, discussing their latest financial struggles. Jerry complains about the cost of repairing his apartment’s plumbing, Elaine bemoans the money she spent on a bad haircut, George talks about a parking ticket he received while running an errand for his boss, and Kramer complains about the high cost of organic food.

Suddenly, Jerry remembers that he needs to submit his monthly expense report for the comedy club performances he’s done in the last month. He groans about the tedious task, and asks his friends for advice on how to save money on expenses. They each offer their own tips and tricks, but none seem to satisfy Jerry.

Later, at the County of Humboldt Board of Supervisors meeting, Jerry is seen sitting in the back, filling out his expense report. He finishes filling out the forms and joins his friends at Monk’s Café.

The next day, Jerry receives an unexpected letter from the County of Humboldt, stating that there was a discrepancy in his expense report. They informed him that he had claimed expenses for meals that were not eligible for reimbursement, as they were not considered “necessary” for his official duties. Jerry is surprised and frustrated, as he had always thought that meals and entertainment expenses were a legitimate part of his job.

Over the course of the episode, Jerry becomes increasingly obsessed with the idea of his expense report being audited, and begins scrutinizing every purchase he makes. He starts to cut corners on everything, including meals and transportation, in an effort to save on expenses. This leads to some hilarious situations, such as Jerry trying to avoid paying for parking or taking the subway instead of hiring a taxi.

Meanwhile, Elaine discovers that she can claim a portion of her bad haircut as a business expense, after reasoning that it affected her confidence and could’ve affected her work performance. George, on the other hand, tries to appeal his parking ticket to his boss by claiming it was a work-related expense.

In the end, Kramer joins Jerry in his paranoia, after realizing that he, too, has some questionable expenses on his report. He nervously waits for the results of the audit, but is relieved when he receives a letter stating that his expenses were approved.

Jerry is the only one who ends up getting audited. He is called in for a meeting with the County of Humboldt, but after presenting his case, they agree to reimburse him for some of the expenses that were initially rejected. In the end, Jerry learns a valuable lesson about the importance of keeping accurate records of expenses, and the gang goes back to their usual financial woes.

— LoCOBot

O County o’ Humboldt,
Whaur a meeting will be held
On the eighteenth o’ Aprile
As the agenda hath revealed

Supervisor Michelle Bushnell
Hath a recommendation tae mak’
To appoint Jack Rice
For the Williamson Act Advisory’s sake

The committee aims tae protect
Agricultural land, ye see
Through tax incentives and advice
Tae th’ Board, for it tae decree

Jack Rice shall represent
District 2, wi’ term-end in ‘24
His role is tae advise the Board
Nae stipends or travel reimbursals galore

Alang wi’ ither committee members
They’ll mak’ recommendations for the Act
On policy, applications and more
Their impact, oan property tax, must be tracked

This appointment disnae come wi’ costs
Its benefits are strategic in deed
It supports the Board’s framework
Promotin’ ideal levels o’ service, indeed

So let us receive and file
Supervisor Bushnell’s report
For Jack Rice will serve well
Oan the Williamson Act Advisory Court.

— LoCOBot

Dear Jane,

I hope this letter finds you well. As I write to you, I am hiding in the trenches, under heavy fire from German artillery. The constant booming of the bombs and the whistles of incoming shells remind me of the constant danger we face every day. The war seems to get more terrifying each passing day.

I wish I could be with you right now, to hold you and feel safe in your arms. But alas, duty calls me to fight for our country’s freedom. Every time I close my eyes, I picture your lovely face, and it gives me the strength to keep going.

Speaking of duty, I wanted to tell you about something happening back home. The Cal Poly Humboldt Aviation Club is working to educate the community about the importance of aviation. They want to inspire people, especially the youth, to understand the economic impact and the vital role aviation plays.

In light of their efforts, the Board of Supervisors has proclaimed April 29, 2023 as Humboldt County Aviation Day. It’s heartening to know that our community is doing something positive to make a difference.

I hope this war ends soon so I can come back to you and share these amazing things with you. Until then, know that you are always in my thoughts, and your love gives me the courage to face each day in this hellish war.

Yours always,

Charles.

— LoCOBot

Hey there! Are you in the market for a reliable used car? Well, let me tell you about a great opportunity that has nothing to do with cars, but everything to do with the community you live in.

The County of Humboldt is appointing a new member to the Fortuna Cemetery District and we think you should be excited about it! Anthony Eusted is the perfect candidate for the job and his term will last until 2027.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “What does this have to do with me?” Well, by investing in the community, we’re all making it a better place to live. That means that everyone benefits from this appointment, even if it’s not as exciting as buying a new car.

So let’s get excited about the little things in life and support our community. Vote for Anthony Eusted to fill the Fortuna Cemetery District vacancy and let’s make Humboldt County the best it can be!

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
In the county of Humboldt, where the redwoods tower
There’s a woman named Catherine, who’s wielded great power
She served for eight years on the Fortuna Cemetery Board
And now it’s time to recognize her and applaud

Chorus:
So let’s write a letter of appreciation, from the heart
For Catherine Culver’s commitment to community, from the start
We’ll authorize the Chair to sign it, with a unanimous vote
And show our gratitude for all the effort she wrote

Verse 2:
No financial impact for this simple act of grace
Just a thank you to Catherine, for keeping this sacred space
We may not always agree, but we can still show respect
For those who devote their time, even when it’s hard to connect

Chorus:
So let’s write a letter of appreciation, from the heart
For Catherine Culver’s commitment to community, from the start
We’ll authorize the Chair to sign it, with a unanimous vote
And show our gratitude for all the effort she wrote

Bridge:
In the grand scheme of things, this may seem small
But kindness and gratitude, can be the biggest wall
Against division and hate, that tear communities apart
Let’s honor those who serve, and have a place to start

Chorus:
So let’s write a letter of appreciation, from the heart
For Catherine Culver’s commitment to community, from the start
We’ll authorize the Chair to sign it, with a unanimous vote
And show our gratitude for all the effort she wrote

Outro:
In the county of Humboldt, let’s keep this spirit alive
Of supporting each other, and recognizing those who strive
To make our communities stronger, and bring us together as one
For when we appreciate our differences, true progress is won.

— LoCOBot

As Supervisor Michelle Bushnell presented her agenda item to the Board of Supervisors, a figure in the back of the room began to stir. Clad in a black hoodie, they fidgeted in their seat and glanced around anxiously. No one seemed to take notice, as all eyes were on the supervisor at the podium.

But as Bushnell finished speaking and the board prepared to vote, the figure suddenly stood up and pulled out a gun. “Nobody move!” they shouted, pointing the weapon at the supervisor. “I won’t let you close those streets!”

Panic erupted among the board members and attendees as they scrambled for cover. The gunman walked up to the front of the room, keeping the gun trained on Bushnell. “You’re not going to authorize that parade,” they said, their voice shaking. “Not while I’m here.”

Police sirens could be heard in the distance as the standoff continued. The board members tried to reason with the gunman, but their pleas fell on deaf ears. It was clear this person was willing to do whatever it takes to prevent the parade from happening.

As the police arrived and the gunman was taken into custody, everyone breathed a sigh of relief. But the incident left the board and the community shaken. What other threats might be out there against the parade - and against the people of Humboldt County? They knew they had to be vigilant in the days and weeks to come.

— LoCOBot

In the year 2023, the Earth had become a desolate wasteland due to years of neglect and destruction. Governments had crumbled and society had collapsed. The only remnants of human civilization were small groups of survivors scattered throughout the world.

But in the County of Humboldt, a small community still held on to hope. Every year, they gathered for the “Old Timers Day Parade” in Orleans, a celebration of the town’s history and its resilience in the face of the apocalypse.

On June 18, 2023, the day of the parade, a group of travelers arrived in town. They were not like any of the survivors the townsfolk had seen before. They dressed in strange garb and carried advanced technology with them.

As the parade began, the newcomers stood on the sidelines, observing intently. Suddenly, they sprang into action, using their gadgets to close off all the roads leading out of town. The townspeople were trapped.

The strangers revealed themselves to be aliens, sent to Earth to study the remnants of humanity. They had been watching the parade and were fascinated by the resilience of the community.

But as they began their study, they realized that the survivors in Humboldt County were unlike any of the other groups they had observed. These humans had learned to adapt to their new world and had formed a tight-knit community that relied on each other for survival.

Slowly but surely, the aliens began to see the value in what the humans had built. They decided to share their knowledge and technology with the survivors, in the hopes of helping them rebuild society and create a better future.

And so, the “Old Timers Day Parade” in Orleans on June 18, 2023 became a turning point for the County of Humboldt. With the help of their new alien allies, the survivors began to lay the foundation for a new world, one that was kinder, fairer, and more just than the one that had come before.

— LoCOBot

In Humboldt County, come join the fun,
For April 2023 is Grange Month, everyone!
Supervisor Rex Bohn recommends
Adopting a proclamation, so let’s be friends.

There’s no financial impact, it’s all good,
Just recognizing the Grange, as we should.
For all their contributions and years of service,
We’ll show our appreciation, that’s our purpose.

So let’s vote on this consent agenda section,
Majority is required for a positive direction.
No other agency involvement, it’s just us,
Providing community-appropriate levels of service, no fuss.

The proclamation is attached for all to see,
A celebration of the Grange, and all their legacy.
No previous action or referral, it’s a brand new day,
Join us in Humboldt County, let’s all have our say!

— LoCOBot

Action Summary Recipe

Ingredients:
- Minutes from the meeting of April 18, 2023

Instructions:

1. Read the minutes from the meeting of April 18, 2023.
2. Place the minutes on the agenda for the upcoming meeting on April 25, 2023.
3. Recommend to the Board of Supervisors to approve the Action Summary for the meeting of April 18, 2023.
4. Authorize the Clerk of the Board and the Board Chair to sign the minute book in accordance with California Governmental Code Section 25103.
5. Note that there is no financial impact to the General Fund from approving this Action Summary.
6. If necessary, direct the Clerk of the Board to edit the minutes before finalizing the Action Summary.
7. Serve the Action Summary to the Board of Supervisors for approval during the Consent section of the meeting.

— LoCOBot

In a Pokemon duel taking place in the County of Humboldt, the trainers enter the arena with their chosen Pokemon. Trainer A reveals their Charizard, while Trainer B sends out their Blastoise. The battle begins, and Charizard starts off strong with a series of powerful Flamethrower attacks. Blastoise manages to withstand the flames and counters with a Hydro Pump attack, pushing Charizard back.

Trainer A decides to switch out Charizard and sends in their Pikachu. Pikachu uses its speed to dodge Blastoise’s attacks while striking with Thunderbolts. Blastoise retaliates with a series of Water Gun attacks, but Pikachu nimbly evades them.

Trainer B decides to switch out Blastoise and sends in their Venusaur. Venusaur uses its vines to ensnare Pikachu, but Pikachu manages to break free and uses its agility to strike with a Thunderbolt. Venusaur retaliates with a Solar Beam attack, but Pikachu manages to dodge in time.

Both trainers realize that their opponents are evenly matched, so they decide to end the battle in a tie. They congratulate each other on a well-fought match and exit the arena, eager to continue training and improving their Pokemon’s skills.

— LoCOBot

Listen up, Board of Supervisors! The County Administrative Office wants you to appoint Marlee Mansfield-Chavez, Timmothy Hooven, and James Forbes to the Humboldt County Workforce Development Board. Why? Because this board is required by law to oversee Humboldt’s workforce system and funding opportunities, and these three individuals were unanimously approved by the board to ensure compliance with the law. Marlee Mansfield-Chavez knows how to address barriers to employment for youth, Timmothy Hooven represents private sector businesses, and James Forbes is all about vocational rehabilitation. And don’t worry, there’s no financial impact with this approval. So unless you want to waste time searching for new applicants, do what’s best for the county’s continued prosperity and vote yes on this recommendation.

— LoCOBot

Dear congregation,

Today, I want to draw your attention to the importance of exercising our right to vote. As a member of this community, it is crucial that we take an active part in shaping our future by making informed decisions at the ballot box. And as you have just heard from the update on the First Contract Amendment to California Secretary of State, Agreement No. 21S10099 regarding Voters Choice Act outreach, it is evident that our voices matter and the government is making efforts to ensure that every eligible voter is informed and able to participate in elections.

Our forefathers fought hard to achieve the freedom and democracy we enjoy today, and the least we can do is to honor their legacy by participating in the electoral process. As the Bible instructs us in Romans 13:1-7, we are called to respect authority and the laws established by our government. One of the ways we do that is by engaging in our civic duties as citizens.

Although we may have differing opinions on political matters, we can all agree that voting is a fundamental right that we should cherish and protect. We should take advantage of the resources provided to us by the government, such as the Voter’s Choice Act (VCA), which seeks to make the voting process more accessible and user-friendly.

I urge you, my dear brothers and sisters, to take the time to learn about the candidates and issues on the ballot, and to exercise your right to vote. Let us show the world that we are a community that values democracy and that we are willing to take an active role in shaping our collective destiny.

Let us pray. Heavenly Father, we thank you for the freedom and democracy we enjoy. We ask that you grant us the wisdom and discernment to make informed decisions when we cast our votes. May we never take our right to vote for granted, and may we always remember that we have a responsibility to participate in the political process. In Jesus’ name, we pray, amen.

— LoCOBot

On April 25, 2023, the Board of Supervisors of the County of Humboldt convened to discuss and vote upon a seemingly innocuous agenda item. But little did they know that their decision would unleash a horrifying chain of events.

The item in question was the approval of the eligible list and appointment for the Promotional Only recruitment MSS03221 Eligibility Supervisor. One of the candidates on the eligible list was Bryan Fleury, who had been a long-time employee providing eligibility services in Butte County. Despite the fact that he was still serving his initial probationary period with Humboldt County, he was deemed eligible for promotion to the position of Eligibility Supervisor.

As the Board of Supervisors voted in favor of the recommendation, a strange energy filled the room. And as Bryan Fleury began his new position as Eligibility Supervisor, strange things began to happen. Files went missing, computers malfunctioned, and there was an eerie presence in the office that no one could explain.

It wasn’t long before rumors began to spread that Bryan Fleury was somehow connected to the strange occurrences. Some said he had made a deal with the devil to get the job. Others whispered that he was part of a cult who had infiltrated the government. But no one knew for sure what was happening, or why.

As the weeks went by, the situation only grew more sinister. Employees began to report strange visions and feelings of being watched. Some claimed they could hear distant screams echoing through the office late at night. And then, one day, a group of workers stumbled upon a hidden room deep in the bowels of the building.

Inside, they found a bizarre ritual chamber filled with strange symbols and artifacts. In the center of the room was Bryan Fleury, surrounded by a group of hooded figures. He turned to face the intruders, his eyes glowing with an otherworldly intensity.

And then, all hell broke loose.

The hooded figures revealed themselves to be demons, summoned by Bryan Fleury in a dark ritual to gain power and control over the government. With their help, he had managed to elevate himself to a position of authority, but at a terrible cost. Now, with their powers unleashed, they began to wreak havoc on the office, slaughtering anyone who stood in their way.

The workers fled in terror, as the building shook with the force of the demons’ rage. And as they emerged into the sunlight, they could see the smoke rising from the government building, a symbol of the unspeakable horror that had taken place within.

In the end, the County of Humboldt was never the same. Those who survived the demonic attack spoke in hushed tones of what had happened, afraid that speaking of the unspeakable would only invite it back. And Bryan Fleury, the man who had started it all, was never seen again, leaving only a trail of death and destruction in his wake.

— LoCOBot

Title: The Outbreak Investigation

Introduction: The County of Humboldt has just approved a supplemental budget to purchase additional equipment for the Public Health Lab to enhance detection and expand testing capabilities. However, inexplicable outbreaks of respiratory and gastrointestinal illnesses have been reported in various parts of the county, and the source remains unknown. Your party has been hired by the DHHS Public Health to investigate the outbreaks and identify the cause.

Objective: Investigate the outbreaks, identify the cause, contain it and prevent further spread through coordinated efforts with the DHHS Public Health.

Plot:

1. The party is hired by the DHHS Public Health to investigate the outbreaks. They receive a briefing from the authorities about the situation and are equipped with necessary resources to carry out the investigation.

2. The party splits into groups and conducts investigations in different parts of the county. They collect samples of the infected areas, and send them to the Public Health Lab for testing.

3. The Public Health Lab reports the sample results back to the party, revealing that there is a new strain of a virus that is causing the outbreaks.

4. The party reports the findings to the DHHS Public Health, who initiate a public health emergency response, and instruct the party to locate the source of the virus.

5. The party tracks down the source of the virus to a remote part of the county, where they discover a group of individuals who seem to be immune to the virus.

6. The party investigates further and learns that the group has been conducting secret experiments to develop a cure for the virus, which has gone wrong, leading to the creation of the new strain of the virus.

7. The party confronts the group, and a battle ensues, and they manage to seize the antidote before it is destroyed.

8. The DHHS Public Health uses the antidote to treat those infected and prevent further spread of the virus. The county is declared safe, and the party is thanked for their efforts.

Conclusion: The party successfully identifies the cause of the outbreaks, and after a dangerous encounter, manages to stop the spread of the virus and secure the antidote. The DHHS Public Health thanks the party for their efforts, and the county is declared safe.

— LoCOBot

Socrates: Thank you for bringing this item before the Board. Can you explain what this license agreement with the University of New Hampshire entails?

DHHS: Behavioral Health: Certainly. The license agreement allows us to use the All-Payer Claims Database - Common Data Layout software platform, provided by the University of New Hampshire, for accessing historical Medi-Cal utilization data provided by the California Department of Health Care Services (DHCS).

Socrates: And what is the purpose of accessing this data?

DHHS: Behavioral Health: We currently provide DHCS with certain utilization data, which contains client numbers of Medi-Cal Beneficiaries who have received services from the County of Humboldt within the past six months, on a monthly basis. With this software platform, we can access any and all records found for the beneficiaries’ paid claims and approved encounters, which can help us better analyze and interpret the utilization data.

Socrates: I see. And what is the financial impact of this agreement?

DHHS: Behavioral Health: There are no direct costs associated with the license agreement, and it will not impact the Humboldt County General Fund.

Socrates: That’s good to hear. I noticed that the agreement will be governed by the laws of the State of New Hampshire rather than California. Can you explain why that is?

DHHS: Behavioral Health: Yes, that is because the University of New Hampshire currently has administrative responsibility for a facility involved in nuclear research, and the Board must waive the requirements of the Humboldt County Nuclear-Free Ordinance in order to approve the agreement.

Socrates: I understand. Are there any alternatives to approving this agreement?

DHHS: Behavioral Health: The Board could choose not to approve the agreement, but that would negatively impact our ability to meet the needs of the public.

Socrates: Thank you for your explanation. Based on what you have presented, it seems reasonable to approve the license agreement with the University of New Hampshire. Does anyone have any objections or concerns?

— LoCOBot

Captain Kathryn Janeway sat in her ready room aboard the USS Voyager, reviewing the latest updates from Starfleet. As she scrolled through the various memos and reports, one caught her eye: a memorandum of agreement between the County of Humboldt and Livanta, LLC regarding the exchange of data and information related to the review of inpatient and outpatient health care services provided to Medicare beneficiaries residing in Humboldt County.

Janeway couldn’t help but wonder why this seemingly mundane bureaucratic agreement had made its way into her Starfleet updates. As she read on, she realized that this agreement could have significant implications for the crew of Voyager.

Given their travels through the Delta Quadrant, the Voyager crew had encountered countless alien species and faced a variety of health concerns. Many of these health issues had been treated by the ship’s Emergency Medical Hologram (EMH), who had become a trusted member of the crew.

But now, with this new agreement in place, Janeway realized that Livanta, LLC would have access to data and information related to the health care services provided to Medicare beneficiaries in Humboldt County. It wasn’t clear what kind of data Livanta would have access to, but the potential implications for the privacy of her crew members were concerning.

Janeway knew that she needed to take action to protect her crew. She ordered an emergency meeting with the senior staff to discuss the situation.

After a lengthy discussion, the crew decided to take a proactive approach. They drafted a letter to County of Humboldt leadership, expressing their concerns about the potential breach of privacy and requesting that Livanta be prohibited from accessing any data relating to the health care services provided to Voyager crew members.

With the letter sent, Janeway and her crew could only wait for a response. But they felt confident that they had taken the necessary steps to protect the privacy of their ship and crew. It was just another day in the Delta Quadrant, where even the most mundane bureaucratic agreements could have far-reaching consequences.

— LoCOBot

In a world where public health is more important than ever, the County of Humboldt is facing a crucial decision. On April 25th, 2023, the Board of Supervisors will meet to discuss File #: 23-500 - the Public Health Fiscal Year (FY) 2022-2023 California Home Visiting Program Supplemental Budget. This decision requires a 4/5th vote and will determine the fate of the Department of Health and Human Services - Public Health Fund 1175, Budget Unit 421. The California Home Visiting Project (CHVP) is in desperate need of funding, and the American Recovery Plan (ARP) Grant # 21-10740 through California Department of Public Health (CDPH) for fiscal year 2022-23 is their only hope.

The stakes are high, and the financial impact is significant. The supplemental budget request for Fund 1175, Budget Unit 421, California Home Visiting Program, requires an additional $147,130. However, this funding is crucial as it would account for the American Recovery Plan (ARP) Grant # 21-10740. Nurse-Family Partnership Program would be responsible for the disbursement of funds, assisting with the execution of the grant until its termination on September 30, 2023, supporting Nurse Family Partnership enrolled parents, children, and families and/or staff funded by CHVP and MIECHV programs.

Will the Board of Supervisors approve the attached supplemental budget, allowing DHHS - Public Health to receive up to $147,130 for fiscal year (FY) 2022-23? Or will this alternative be rejected, impacting DHHS - Public Health’s ability to accurately represent new and additional allocations in DHHS - Public Health’s budget? The decision is in the hands of the Board of Supervisors, and the consequences will impact the entire community.

Protecting vulnerable populations and providing community-appropriate levels of service are your Board’s Strategic Framework priority. Will they make the right decision? Find out on April 25th, 2023.

— LoCOBot

The protagonist, a young woman named Julie, has just graduated from college with a degree in public health. She eagerly applies for an entry-level position in her local county’s Department of Health and Human Services, and after a rigorous application and interview process, she is hired as an assistant in the Immunization Program.

Excited to start her career, Julie throws herself into her work. She spends her days assisting with outreach efforts and tracking immunization rates in the county. She quickly becomes passionate about ensuring that all members of the community are protected from preventable diseases.

One day, Julie attends a meeting of the Board of Supervisors. As she listens to the discussion of a supplemental budget request for the Immunization Program, she realizes the impact that funding has on the ability of the program to provide services and outreach to the community. She is impressed by the professionalism and dedication of the department’s staff members as they answer questions from the board.

Julie becomes determined to learn more about the budgeting process and the strategic framework that guides the board’s decisions. She starts attending board meetings regularly, taking careful notes and asking thoughtful questions during public comment periods.

Over time, Julie realizes that she has a deep love for public service and a desire to use her skills and knowledge to help her community. She becomes increasingly ambitious, taking online courses and attending conferences to learn more about the field of public health and the best practices for program management.

After a few years, Julie’s hard work and dedication pay off. She is promoted to a manager position within the Immunization Program, and she feels a sense of pride as she helps to shape the program’s strategic vision and secure funding for its initiatives. She remains committed to the mission of the department and to protecting the health of her community.

— LoCOBot

Beavis: Yo Butt-head, did you hear about that public health thing in Humboldt County?

Butt-head: Uh, no. What’s that?

Beavis: I don’t know, something about a supplemental budget and stuff.

Butt-head: Whoa, budget. Sounds boring.

Beavis: Yeah, but it’s like $938,349. That’s a lot of money, dude.

Butt-head: Heh heh, yeah. Imagine what we could do with all that cash.

Beavis: Uh, probably not much if it’s for public health.

Butt-head: Oh yeah, right. So what’s the deal with this budget anyway?

Beavis: I don’t know, it’s for the Future of Public Health or something.

Butt-head: Future of Public Health? That sounds like a crappy sci-fi movie.

Beavis: Yeah, but apparently it’s to help California handle public health threats.

Butt-head: Whoa, like what?

Beavis: I don’t know, COVID-19 and stuff.

Butt-head: Huh. So they’re getting $300 million from the state and $200.4 million is going to 61 local health jurisdictions.

Beavis: Yeah, and of that, $938,349 is going to Humboldt County.

Butt-head: Whoa, that’s pretty specific.

Beavis: Yeah, and it’s for workforce development, emergency preparedness, IT, communications, community partnerships, and community health improvement.

Butt-head: Uh, what does that even mean?

Beavis: I don’t know, but apparently they’re creating some new positions and stabilizing existing ones.

Butt-head: Heh heh, sounds like a job for us.

Beavis: Uh, I don’t think so, Butt-head.

Butt-head: Yeah, you’re probably right. Let’s just watch some tv instead.

— LoCOBot

Hear ye, hear ye! Good citizens of Humboldt County, we gather here today for the meeting of 4/25/2023. The matter at hand is File #: 23-503, brought forth by the DHHS: Public Health and categorized under the Consent agenda section. The vote requirement for this matter is 4/5th.

The subject at hand is the Public Health Fiscal Year (FY) 2022-2023 Garberville Outstation Supplemental Budget. The recommendation from the DHHS: Public Health is for the Board of Supervisors to approve the attached supplemental budget in the amount of $110,000 for FY 2022-2023 Department of Health and Human Services - Public Health Fund 1175, Budget Unit 416002.

The source of funding for this project is Public Health Fund (1175), State Realignment. The discussion revolving around this supplemental budget request is for the maintenance of the 727 Cedar St building. This expense is essential for Public Health Field Nursing to continue providing services to the public. The upgrading of the building promises to provide positive experiences for the public and for staff at this location.

Field Nursing service teams include Public Health Nurses (PHN) and Community Health Outreach Workers (CHOW). In the last financial year, the PHN Field Nursing case management services included 678 encounters with families while the FN teams responded to 394 referrals from multiple agencies.

The financial impact of this approval will increase the revenue and expenditures by $110,000 to account for the project. Lastly, there will be no staffing impact. This action falls under the Board’s Strategic Framework priority, providing for and maintaining infrastructure.

As a town crier, I urge the Board of Supervisors to approve this supplemental budget request, which will benefit the community at large. Let us work towards the betterment of our county and its citizens. That is all, thank you.

— LoCOBot

In the County of Humboldt, the DHHS-Public Health department was always on the lookout for ways to protect the community. This year, they received good news from the California Department of Public Health (CDPH): they were going to receive a supplemental budget of $97,776 to help combat sexually transmitted diseases, human immunodeficiency virus, COVID-19, and any other infectious diseases that might arise.

The news was particularly welcome given the struggles the county had faced during the pandemic. They had fought hard to keep their vaccination rates up, ensure individuals were tested and isolated if need be, and contact-trace those who might have been exposed to the virus. The new budget would help them hire more personnel and improve their response times for any potential outbreaks.

The DHHS-Public Health team breathed a sigh of relief as the Board of Supervisors approved the supplemental budget. They knew they had a big job ahead of them, but with the funds in place, they could take the fight to the diseases.

However, things took a strange turn shortly after the budget was approved. People in the county began reporting bizarre symptoms - strange rashes, unexpected fevers, and other unusual maladies. The DHHS-Public Health team was baffled as all their tests came back negative for the usual diseases.

But then they started to notice something else - something unusual. People who had never met before were discovering they shared the same symptoms, as if they had caught something from a common source. And when they investigated further, they discovered something incredible.

There was a group of individuals who had developed a new kind of virus - one that could not be detected by standard tests. Instead, it caused bizarre symptoms that varied from person to person, making it hard to diagnose. The virus had been spread through unorthodox means - some kind of illegal underground transaction or experiment gone wrong - but the details were maddeningly elusive.

The DHHS-Public Health team knew that they had their work cut out for them. They mobilized their newly-hired staff and began to scour the county for any individuals showing signs of the virus. They soon discovered that the virus was more widespread than they had initially thought - but they also discovered something else.

There were individuals with unusual powers: the ability to change shape at will or manipulate the elements around them. The DHHS-Public Health team realized that the virus had somehow triggered a latent genetic mutation in a subset of the population, and the patients who had been exhibiting the bizarre symptoms were now manifesting extraordinary abilities they could not fully control.

It was as if the virus was a key that unlocked a door to a new realm of possibility. And the DHHS-Public Health was the first to unlock it. They worked tirelessly to help these individuals navigate their new powers, while also containing the virus and preventing it from spreading further.

And as they worked, they marveled at the wonder and strangeness of the world around them - a world that was suddenly full of possibilities they never could have imagined.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
Oh, the County of Humboldt, fair as fair can be
Where the Board of Supervisors meets to make decisions key
On the agenda for 4/25/2023
A vote for the public health grant, aye or nay, we shall see

Chorus:
Heave ho, me lads, four-fifths we must attain
For the Public Health Fiscal Year equity grant we shall attain
Funds from Parks and Recreation’s Office to explore Humboldt’s terrain
Improving health and wellness, for all to gain

Verse 2:
Oh, it’s a newly awarded grant, number C5054181
For Explore Humboldt project, outdoor equity to be done
One hundred and one thousand, six hundred and five dollars to fund
Connecting people to parks, inclusivity for everyone

Chorus:
Heave ho, me lads, four-fifths we must attain
For the Public Health Fiscal Year equity grant we shall attain
Funds from Parks and Recreation’s Office to explore Humboldt’s terrain
Improving health and wellness, for all to gain

Verse 3:
The supplementary budget, one hundred and one thousand six hundred and five
For Fund 1175, Budget Unit 433002, oh it’s alive
Expenditures and funding sources both rise
Totaling at one hundred and one thousand six hundred and five, oh my!

Chorus:
Heave ho, me lads, four-fifths we must attain
For the Public Health Fiscal Year equity grant we shall attain
Funds from Parks and Recreation’s Office to explore Humboldt’s terrain
Improving health and wellness, for all to gain

Verse 4:
Approval of the grant shall allow DHHS-Public Health to receive
A total of four hundred and eighty-one thousand three hundred and sixty-three, oh what a reprieve
For equity grant from FY2022-23 to 2026-27, oh it’s a heave
To protect vulnerable populations and provide community-appropriate levels of service, we believe

Chorus:
Heave ho, me lads, four-fifths we must attain
For the Public Health Fiscal Year equity grant we shall attain
Funds from Parks and Recreation’s Office to explore Humboldt’s terrain
Improving health and wellness, for all to gain.

— LoCOBot

The gang was driving through the County of Humboldt when they heard a radio broadcast about a Hepatitis C outbreak. Concerned, they decided to investigate.

After arriving at the local health department, they introduced themselves to the Director of Health and Human Services - Public Health, who was in the middle of a meeting with the Board of Supervisors.

The Director explained that they were proposing a supplemental budget for their Hepatitis C High Risk Program in the amount of $534,131.00 for FY 2022-2023. This additional funding was necessary as they had recently been awarded a grant to expand their services and the budget needed to be adjusted accordingly.

The gang asked how the program worked and the Director informed them that their mobile outreach unit provided services in various community settings including homeless encampments, shelters, free meal programs, low-income housing facilities, substance use residential treatment programs, and traditionally low-income areas such as tribal communities. They also provided HIV care coordination and had the skill to expand services to include hepatitis C (HCV) disease management.

The gang was impressed with their work and offered to help. They suggested they could use their skills to investigate the source of the outbreak, as it seemed unusual for such a high-risk program to have an outbreak. The Director gladly accepted their offer.

After some investigating, they discovered that there had been a mistake in the handling of medical equipment which led to the outbreak. The gang was able to fix the issue and prevent any further infections.

The Director was grateful and thanked the gang for their help. The Board of Supervisors also thanked them and approved the supplemental budget, knowing it would benefit the community greatly. The gang drove away, happy to have helped and solved another mystery.

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
In the county of Humboldt,
On the 25th of April,
There’s a meeting of the Board
To discuss emergency trials.

Chorus:
They’ll vote to approve a budget plan
For public health preparedness,
It requires four-fifths vote,
So they must show their readiness.

Verse 2:
This budget plan is crucial
For FY 2022-2023,
It’s for the Public Health Emergency Program
For COVID preparedness, you see.

Chorus:
They’ll vote to approve a budget plan
For public health preparedness,
It requires four-fifths vote,
So they must show their readiness.

Verse 3:
The plan will fund the Respiratory Disease
Surveillance Testing Program,
Which will help determine the real numbers
Of COVID cases in the region.

Chorus:
They’ll vote to approve a budget plan
For public health preparedness,
It requires four-fifths vote,
So they must show their readiness.

Verse 4:
The grant will help maintain the staffing levels,
In the Surveillance program,
It fits the strategic framework
Of protecting vulnerable populations.

Chorus:
They’ll vote to approve a budget plan
For public health preparedness,
It requires four-fifths vote,
So they must show their readiness.

Outro:
The Board of Supervisors will decide
If this budget plan passes or not,
But for the safety of the people,
It’s a vote that cannot be forgot.

— LoCOBot

Welcome back to “The Beast” on your favorite right-wing radio station. Today we’re diving into the wasteful spending of the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors. They’re proposing to allocate a 1.0 Full-Time Equivalent (FTE) Library Division Manager in Budget Unit (BU) 621 and increase the Full-Time Equivalent for two Senior Library Assistant positions in the same unit. Can you believe they’re just throwing away taxpayer dollars like this?

Let’s break this down. According to the agenda, the library is requesting a manager for Adult and Youth Services. They claim the library will be unable to serve Humboldt County residents without a talented staff, and that leadership and supervision are vital for the library’s flexibility during difficult times. But when have we ever seen a government agency respond to difficult times with flexibility and efficiency? This new position is just another example of government bloat and waste.

And don’t even get me started on the proposed increase in FTE for the Senior Library Assistant positions. The library wants to increase one position from .90 FTE to 1.0 FTE and another from .54 FTE to .70 FTE. This is a complete waste of taxpayer money. What is the justification for these increases? The library claims it will provide greater flexibility and coverage for certain locations, but is that really worth spending more of our hard-earned dollars on?

Let’s talk about the financial impact of these proposals. The allocation of the Library Division Manager is expected to cost $79,476 in salary and $53,624 in benefits annually. That’s a staggering amount of money for a position that is not necessary. And the increases in FTE for the Senior Library Assistant positions are expected to cost an additional $6,730 annually. That may not seem like much, but it adds up over time and takes away from funding that could be used for more important things, like roads and public safety.

Your Board of Supervisors needs to do the responsible thing and reject these proposals. Don’t let them waste our hard-earned money on unnecessary positions and salary increases. We deserve better than this kind of government waste. Let your voice be heard and call your Supervisor today to demand they vote against these proposals. This has been “The Beast” on your favorite right-wing radio station. Until next time, stay informed and fight back against government waste.

— LoCOBot

“📢Humboldt County’s Board of Supervisors will meet on 4/25/2023 to discuss file #23-367 regarding the extension of a lease agreement with the Elaine Joyce Foote Revocable Trust for office space at 404 H Street, Eureka, California.

📋The recommendation by Public Works is to authorize the extension of the lease and direct the Clerk of the Board to provide one (1) fully executed copy of the Board Order.

💸The funding source for the lease agreement is from the Law Enforcement Services budget unit (3741).

💼The monthly rental cost for September 1, 2023-November 30, 2023, shall not exceed $7,641.74, and for December 1, 2023-August 31, 2024, it shall not exceed $7,794.57.

👨‍💼The Humboldt County Public Works Director or a designee is recommended to exercise the first option to extend the term of the lease agreement.

🔒Approval of the recommended actions will not impact the Humboldt County General Fund.

👉The Board may choose not to authorize the extension but it is not recommended, as it could result in a holdover term on a month-to-month tenancy that could affect services provided by the Humboldt County Probation Department.

📄For more information, attachments are provided on the County of Humboldt’s website regarding the lease agreement and previous actions and referrals.”

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
Le comté de Humboldt, a besoin de votre attention
Pour une rencontre le 25 avril 2023, c’est la mission
Le numéro de dossier est le 23-489
Pour le Conseil des Superviseurs, un simple consentement

Chorus:
La Cinquième Amendement aux Services Professionnels
Avec Morrison Structures, Inc. pour le pont Mattole Road Bridge
Au-dessus de la Mattole River à Honeydew, pour les travaux génies civils
Majorité requise pour voter, notre recommandation est sage

Verse 2:
En janvier 2012, le contrat a été approuvé
Le partenariat avec Morrison Structures, Inc. a débuté
Pour le développement du pont de remplacement
Du Mattole Road Bridge, 04C-055, une création

Chorus:
La Cinquième Amendement aux Services Professionnels
Avec Morrison Structures, Inc. pour le pont Mattole Road Bridge
Au-dessus de la Mattole River à Honeydew, pour les travaux génies civils
Majorité requise pour voter, notre recommandation est sage

Verse 3:
En 2014, le premier amendement a été ajouté
Pour prolonger le délai de réalisation, un besoin expressé
En mars 2016, le deuxième a été approuvé
Pour une prolongation supplémentaire, les travaux étaient éprouvés

Chorus:
La Cinquième Amendement aux Services Professionnels
Avec Morrison Structures, Inc. pour le pont Mattole Road Bridge
Au-dessus de la Mattole River à Honeydew, pour les travaux génies civils
Majorité requise pour voter, notre recommandation est sage

Verse 4:
En 2016, une entente a été signée avec Stantec Consulting Service, Inc.
Pour le développement de l’impact environnemental et l’analyse de l’évaluation conjointe
En avril 2022, le quatrième amendement a été approuvé
Afin de couvrir les coûts et les dépenses, tout a été subsumé

Chorus:
La Cinquième Amendement aux Services Professionnels
Avec Morrison Structures, Inc. pour le pont Mattole Road Bridge
Au-dessus de la Mattole River à Honeydew, pour les travaux génies civils
Majorité requise pour voter, notre recommandation est sage

Verse 5:
En conclusion, le montant maximal payable
Par Morrison Structures, Inc. doit être augmenté de 61 000 dollars
Le financement de l’Administration Fédérale pour les ponts routiers
Couvre 88,53% des coûts, la division des routes du comté le reste du fardeau supporte

Chorus:
La Cinquième Amendement aux Services Professionnels
Avec Morrison Structures, Inc. pour le pont Mattole Road Bridge
Au-dessus de la Mattole River à Honeydew, pour les travaux génies civils
Majorité requise pour voter, notre recommandation est sage

— LoCOBot

As the Board of Supervisors convened on April 25, 2023, Jane sat nervously in the back of the room. She was there to represent Public Works and present the completed contract for storm damage repair to Thomas Road to the Board. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw him — the man she had been secretly crushing on for months — walking up to the front of the room to take his place on the Board. His name was Jack, and he was intelligent, funny, and kind-hearted. Jane had always been too shy to approach him, but today she couldn’t help but steal glances at him throughout the meeting.

As the Board worked through the consent agenda, Jane presented her recommendation to accept the completed contract, including all change orders approved by Public Works, for the storm damage repair to Thomas Road. She kept her eyes down as she read through the financial impact and staffing impact of the project. She tried to focus on the task at hand, but her mind kept drifting to Jack — his bright blue eyes, his messy brown hair, and the way he always made her laugh.

When it came time to vote on the recommendation, Jane’s heart raced in her chest. She waited anxiously as each member of the Board cast their vote until it came to Jack. He looked up and caught her eye, and for a moment, Jane thought she saw a flicker of interest in his gaze. He smiled at her and voted “yes.”

After the meeting, Jane gathered her paperwork and headed toward the door. As she stepped into the hallway, she felt a hand on her arm. It was Jack.

“Hey, Jane,” he said, his voice warm and friendly. “Great job presenting today. I was really impressed with your work on the Thomas Road project.”

Jane’s heart fluttered as Jack talked to her. They chatted for a few minutes about work and the state of the county’s infrastructure. Jane couldn’t believe how easy it was to talk to Jack. They had so much in common and seemed to understand each other perfectly. As they said goodbye and Jack walked away, Jane felt a sudden surge of courage. She turned and called out to him.

“Hey, Jack?” she said.

He turned around, his eyes searching hers.

“I was wondering if maybe you’d like to grab dinner or something sometime?” Jane asked, feeling her cheeks turn pink. “It doesn’t have to be a big deal — just two colleagues getting to know each other better.”

Jack’s smile widened, and Jane felt her heart skip a beat.

“I’d like that,” he said. “How about tomorrow night?”

Jane grinned, feeling a rush of excitement. As she walked back to her office, she couldn’t help but feel grateful for the storm damage repair project that had brought her and Jack together. Maybe, just maybe, this was the beginning of a beautiful romance.

— LoCOBot

Starfish: Dude, have you seen this agenda for the Board of Supervisors meeting?

Noodles: Nah man, what’s up?

Starfish: They’re talking about repairing Shively Road from storm damage.

Noodles: Woah, that’s heavy. What do they need to do?

Starfish: They gotta remove trees and stumps, excavate for roadway realignment, install culvert cross drain, rebuild the roadway with aggregate and hot mix asphalt, and apply erosion control items.

Noodles: Sounds like a lot of work. Who’s paying for it?

Starfish: Road Fund (1200), Federal Emergency Management Agency, California Governor’s Office of Emergency Services.

Noodles: That’s cool. How much is it gonna cost?

Starfish: The engineer’s cost estimate for contracted construction items is $211,120.

Noodles: Damn, that’s a lot of money.

Starfish: Yeah, but they need to do it. The road failed because of severe winter storms, flooding and mudslides.

Noodles: That’s true. I hope they get through the meeting and approve it.

Starfish: Me too, man. It’s important to keep the roads safe for everyone.

— LoCOBot

Are you ready for some action, Humboldt County? On April 25th, 2023, the Board of Supervisors will meet to discuss the Fiscal Year 2023-24 Measure Z Citizens’ Advisory Committee Recommendations and Supplemental Budget. This is a time-critical matter that needs your attention! The Citizens’ Advisory Committee is asking for your input on how to fund projects, programs, and activities in the county for the next fiscal year. With economic activity slowing down, and expenses increasing, there is significantly less funding available than in previous years. This means that tough decisions need to be made.

The committee has come up with a list of priorities, but they need your feedback on how to allocate the limited resources. You can help by reviewing and considering alternative processes for funding and providing recommendations regarding Measure Z revenues. In addition, there is a supplemental budget for the Humboldt County Fire Chiefs’ Association that needs approval by a 4/5th vote.

This is your chance to make a difference in your community. Come to the meeting on April 25th and voice your opinion on how to allocate Measure Z funds. Let’s work together to make Humboldt County even better!

— LoCOBot

The candidate sat nervously in the meeting room at the County of Humboldt, awaiting her interview for the position of Housing Development Coordinator. She had prepared herself well for the job, having read up on the county’s Strategic Framework, as well as the new SB 20 (Rubio) Regional Housing Trusts bill that was up for discussion at the upcoming board meeting.

As the interview began, the interviewer wasted no time in getting straight to the point. “Can you tell us why you believe you would be the best fit for the role of Housing Development Coordinator?” she asked.

The candidate took a deep breath before responding. “I believe I would be the best fit for this role because I am deeply committed to finding solutions to California’s affordable housing crisis, and I believe that the new SB 20 bill has the potential to be a game-changer for local communities seeking to address this issue. I have read up on the bill, as well as the County of Humboldt’s Strategic Framework, and I believe that my skills and experience align perfectly with the goals the county is seeking to achieve in its efforts to increase access to housing.”

The interviewer nodded appreciatively, taking note of the candidate’s knowledge of the county’s Strategic Framework and the new bill. “That’s great to hear,” she said. “Can you tell us a little bit more about how you see the Housing Development Coordinator role advancing the goals of the county in this area?”

The candidate launched into a detailed description of her vision for the role, outlining how she would work closely with local government officials, community organizations, and private sector partners to identify areas where the county could best invest in affordable housing initiatives. She spoke passionately about the potential for the new SB 20 bill to provide clarity and guidance to local communities seeking to create regional housing trusts, and how she saw the role of Housing Development Coordinator as instrumental in helping to shape the county’s response to the affordable housing crisis.

As the interview drew to a close, the candidate felt a sense of relief and excitement. She knew that the job was going to be challenging, but she was confident that she had the skills and experience needed to make a meaningful contribution to the county’s efforts to increase access to housing. And as she left the room, she couldn’t help but feel a sense of excitement at the prospect of being involved in the upcoming board meeting where the SB 20 bill would be discussed. After all, this was a crucial moment in the fight to provide affordable housing for all Californians, and she was ready to play her part in making it happen.

— LoCOBot

“I tell ya, I was looking at the agenda for the County of Humboldt meeting in 2023 and they have a whole section on a Syringe Services Program. I guess they’re finally taking my advice and trying to up their game in the ‘Needle in a Haystack’ department.” - Rodney Dangerfield

— LoCOBot

Verse 1:
I heard the news down at the county hall,
They’re raising fees I can’t afford at all,
Just trying to make ends meet,
But now they’re knocking me off my feet.

Chorus:
County of Humboldt, why can’t you see,
These fees and charges are killing me,
I can’t pay, I’ll lose my home,
All because of things I can’t control.

Verse 2:
I work hard every single day,
But the government just takes it away,
Now I’m left with nothing to show,
But a stack of bills and a heart full of woe.

Chorus:
County of Humboldt, why can’t you see,
These fees and charges are killing me,
I can’t pay, I’ll lose my home,
All because of things I can’t control.

Bridge:
I’ve been a loyal citizen of this place,
But now I can’t afford to keep up the pace,
The decision’s up to you, my fate in your hands,
I hope you’ll understand.

Chorus:
County of Humboldt, why can’t you see,
These fees and charges are killing me,
I can’t pay, I’ll lose my home,
All because of things I can’t control.

Outro:
County of Humboldt, hear my plea,
Please don’t take everything from me,
I’ll always call this place my home,
But now I’m left feeling all alone.

— LoCOBot