2018 Kinetic Award Winners

Can you say “Bi-lobike”?

The 50th annual Kinetic Grand Championship kame to its konclusion before a kapacity krowd during an awards banquet inside Ferndale’s Bellotti Hall. For the second year in a row the arachnomorph “art”ropods of Team Trilobike out-gloried the kompetition and won the right to be known forevermore as the 2018 Kinetic Grand Champions.

Now who’s extinct?

Team Kaptain Steve McHaney and crew have piloted this machine in the race for four years now. While accepting the koveted Hobart-krafted champions trophy McHaney took the opportunity to let his fellow racers know that he and his team will be back next year.

Beware the “Tri-peat.”

Scroll down for the rest of this year’s award winners. Glory, glory, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Trilobike captain Steve McHaney

2018 Kinetic Grand Champions

• Trilobike Diner

Best Engineering

• 1st: Solid Gold Pineapple Wrecking Crew
• 2nd: Black Tie Affair
• 3rd: Happy Campers

Best Art

• 1st: Hunka-Hunk-A Burnin’ Ham
• 2nd: CrABBA
• 3rd: Lion Kings

Best Speed 

• 1st: Ferntucky 500
• 2nd: Flying Spaghetti Monster
• 3rd: Melvin

Best Pageantry 

• 1st: Lion Kings
• 2nd: CrABBA
• 3rd: Kinetic Encounters of the Fiftieth Kind

2018 ACE Award Professors 

• Ferntucky 500
• Trilobike Diner
• Flying Spaghetti Monster
• Melvin
• Solid Gold Pineapple Wrecking Crew
• Super Moi: Louise 
• Happy Campers
• Team Goddess: Star Power
• Bounce for Glory: Golden Edition
• Monster Zinc
• Tempus Fugitives: Glory Diver
• Lion Kings
• Black Tie Affair
• Ominionated II
• Norman the Half-Fast Unicorn
• Flying Innuendo
• This Goes Gold

Mediocre Award (For Team That Finishes in the Middle of the Pack)

• Mad Plants: Beyond Thunderclone

Racers’ Choice Award

• CrABBA

The Goldest of the Gold

• Lobster Roll

Most Improved

• This Goes Gold

Best Junior Award

• Hatmobile

Best Pit Crew

• PB Blaster

Best Campsite

• CrABBA
• Cro-Magma! Of the Stoned Age

Best Bribe

• Lion Kings

6:32 Award

• Bikin’ Fools

Lifetime Achievement Award

• The Flying Galumpkie Brothers
• Dale Warmuth

Ground Pounder’s Ground Pounder

• Thalon!

Best Volunteer

• Team Weld Your Stuff!

Goddess Jen-O Award

• Notoriously Adventurous Vacationing Yachters

Port Townsend Award

• Happy Campers

Biggest Splash Award

• Solid Gold Pineapple Wrecking Crew

The Golden Dinosaur Award

• New Mexican Roadrunner

The Golden Flipper Award (Water)

• Yabba-Doo-Ya

The Golden Flipper Award (Sand)

• The Rusty Pickle

The Spirit of the Glorious Founder Award

• 1st: Norman the Half-Fast Unicorn
• 2nd: CrABBA
• 3rd: U.S.S. Festiva

One for the Little Guy

• The A-Team

Second to Last Award

• U.S.S. Festiva

Spectators’ Favorite

• The Hippiepotamus

The Never Give Up Award

• Cyclops

Teddy Bear Award

• Herrmann’s Merry Mollusk

They Came From Out of Town

• Cloud of Unknowing: The Flying Squirrel

You Clever Rascal (Best Engineering for a Non-ACE Machine)

• Fire Chicken

The Race is All But Done; Stay Tuned for the Big Award Ceremony

Never mind the NBA Conference Finals, a majority of the Kinetics Grand Championship sculptures have crossed the finish line in Ferndale, and now we await tonight’s awards ceremony, where we’ll find out who takes home all the glory. Results will be posted live here on LoCO.

Kinetics Day 3: Racers are Headed for the River

The racers are up and pedaling after a long restful night of flame-free sleep. They now make the long trek up Cannibal Island Road before turning onto Eel River Drive. Once they arrive at the foot of Fern Bridge they will make their treacherous water crossing through the Eel River on their way to the glorious finish line on Main Street in Ferndale

Day One was Day Fun!

A third of the glory has been achieved. The racers are all snug in their sleeping bags after a long, sandy day. Tomorrow they will cross water and make their way down to Loleta. Well done, all. 

But before you head out to check out the Day Two madness check out some aerial video highlights courtesy of Humboldt drone king Chad Johnson. 

And They're Pedaling…

An odd glowing orb hovered above the Arcata Plaza and seemed to be responsible for what we are told is called “warmth” as the noon whistle sounded signaling the pandemonium of the 50th annual Kinetic Grand Championship was officially underway.

LoCO is going to be kind enough to provide you with a bit of video, below. It’s like you were there!