Non-Emergencies
February 2016
All Simulated Hell is About to Break Loose in the Eel River Valley
Don’t Panic, Carlotta! The Sheriff’s Office is Blowing Up a Tree at Pamplin Grove
December 2015
At Ease, Eureka! That Unholy Caterwauling Was Only Cops Going Christmas Shopping
Don’t Freak Out About That Light on the Hill, Arcata and McKinleyville
October 2015
The Humboldt Bay Power Plant Is Not Exploding
Man Walking Through Eureka with a Rifle? Eh, Not Really
September 2015
Bomb-Bot Deployed on Bag of Laundry Near the Blue Lake Post Office Last Night
Fake Plane to Fake Crash at the California Redwood Coast–Humboldt County Airport This Afternoon
August 2015
All Simulated Hell is About to Break Loose at a Humboldt State Dorm
July 2015
DUMPSTER DEATH SCARE: Dump Truck Driver Fears That He Dumped a Dumpster-Dweller Into the Trash
Everything is Fine at ACV This Morning
Arcata Fire is Going to Torch Some Rooms Inside a McKinleyville House Tuesday
June 2015
Kayaker’s Personal Emergency Drill Unwittingly Prompts Public Emergency Response
THAT DOES NOT GO THERE: Car Makes a Detour Into Fortuna Main Street Storefront, Witnesses Say
Q: ‘Hello, Lamppost! Whatcha Knowing?’; A: ‘Some Nice Tourists’ Car Hood’
(UPDATED: FALSE REPORT) Rescue Swimmers Searching Del Norte Street Pier for Reported Drowning Victim
May 2015
Kids Evacuated From Eureka City School Bus on Highway 101 This Morning
FYI: Serial Burglar is Out and About While He Awaits Sentencing
Humboldt Bay Fire is Going to Train By Completely Mutilating the Ol’ Norman’s Dry Cleaning Building
More on the (Smoke) Grenade That Shut Down the Arcata Plaza Yesterday
April 2015
SPOILER ALERT: Arcata Hostage Crisis Turns Out to Just Be Play Rehearsal
Today’s Non-Emergency Near McKinleyville High is Another ‘Every 15 Minutes’ Production
March 2015
Don’t Panic! Tsunami Warning Test Coming Wednesday
Rio Dell Turns Off Man’s Water; Man Allegedly Turns It Back On, Gets Arrested
Dusty Smoke Alarm Garners Impressive Response From Arcata Fire District
December 2014
Yes, There Will Be a Visible Fire Near Blue Lake Today
Yes, There Will Be Helicopters in Humboldt’s Skies This Week
November 2014
Is Your Subaru Station Wagon Sinking into the Marsh Behind Blue Ox Millworks Right Now?
[PHOTO] Transient Tenants Let Weeds Overrun NoHum Nest
Again: All the Emergency Personnel at the Jail This Morning? That’s a Drill
October 2014
Do Not Be Alarmed By This Morning’s Blaring Nuclear Plant Alarm
EPD Doesn’t Want You to Be Duped By World’s Most Obvious Ukrainian Email Scam
Another Inmate Walkaway From Sheriff’s Work Crew; Zane Middle School Briefly on Lockdown
No, the Humboldt County Jail is Not on Fire
Get Ready For Simulated Catastrophe! The Great American Shakeout Happens This Morning
September 2014
Sprinkler Douses Mini-Blaze at Bayshore Mall
Coast Guard Chopper Delivers Lunch to Stranded Boaters
Fortuna High School Evacuated When Rogue Ballast Sets Off Fire Alarm
May 2014
The Chaos You’re About to See at Fortuna High is Only a Drill
(VIDEO) There’s a Great Big Plume of Smoke Rising From the South Jetty, But Don’t Freak Out About It
March 2014
THE INSIDE SCOOP: That Standoff in Eureka Was a Stand Against an Empty House
January 2014
New Crabs Prez Is Youngest, Maybe Nicest
November 2013
LoCO’s Big, Dumb Guy Fieri Watch, DAY 6
(VIDEO) Quadcopter Aerial Views of Arcata Skate Park
October 2013
7.3 Magnitude Quake Off Japan’s Eastern Coast — No Tsunamis For Us, HumCo
No, Humboldt County Is Not Exploding: It’s the Great California Shakeout
September 2013
Yes, There Was a Naked Man Strolling Down Myrtle Avenue Today (NSFW)
Plaza Point Apartments Evacuated
Who Is Ruining the North Jetty’s Dolos By Making Them Something Worth Looking At?
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