Hank Sims / @ 8:02 p.m. / Two Makes it True

BOOM EUREKA: This Time It’s Clearly Idiots Setting Off Fireworks

Have you heard like three BOOMS in the last half-hour, Eureka?

Yeah. Us too. 

This time, because we are near ground zero, we can faithfully report that what you heard was some sort of industrial-grade illegal firework.

Why can we tell you this?

Because we heard the post-BOOM crackle-crackle-crackle, indicating something doing something shiny and vaguely interesting in the sky, post-boom.

Hey, there was another one!

The only question left in the instance, to our mind, is why? Why are people so excited as to spend their hard-earned money on illicit shock and awe today? Maybe they are celebrating the Warriors’ brutal evisceration of the Houston Rockets, the league’s most miserable basketball team? Maybe they’re sending Steph Curry well-wishes? Maybe grandma left them some money in her will, and they are eager to spend it all?

What do YOU think, Humboldt?

There was another one!





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