District Attorney

There is one contender with vision—
Fresh ideas he’s thought out with precision!
So I’ll vote for Kamada
because, surely, I want a
D. A. with a high-minded mission.

— Amy Hunt

###

There once was a man quite well-read.
Kamada for D. A.! It was said
he had lots of heart—
the proof: his passion and smarts
had burned all the hair off his head.

— Amy Hunt

###

Kamada, he’s a great Defender,
Though he is of the lesser gender.
This campaign is a slog,
His opponents hate dogs,
And should probably all surrender.

— Cody Johns

###

The choice for D.A. isn’t that hard.
I like the one who looks like Picard.
Kamada is the one to beat,
for this very important seat,
because he also speaks like The Bard.

— Steven A. Santos

###

There once was a man of good deed
Who showed up in Humboldt for weed
We met for a pint
And talked half the night
On how we should all vote for Eads.

— Jim Spencer

###

For a leader who’s ready to lead
The one solid choice is Ms. Eads
The others just talk
Stacey Eads walks the walk
Twenty years of good judgment, good deeds

— Andrew Isaac

###

There’s a DA to fullfill our needs
Her last name exactly like Eads
The others are sad
The both of ‘em bad
Vote Stacey, the best choice, take heed

— Bob Felter

###

Ms. Fleming’s been great as D.A.
Maybe “the best”, people say,
It’s good, then, to hear
Her advice for this year
As we choose our top lawyer today.

We need one who’s more than “okay”,
Dear Humboldt, let’s put it this way:
Strength, heart, and true grit—
Ms. Eads proved that she’s “it”
As she’s worked for us, hard, every day!

— Marian Barnes Hancock

Fourth District Supervisor

Elect Arroyo of the Coast Guard,
AKA Derby’s ‘Brawn Luc Picard,’
Our next Supervisor?
(Please, no more old misers)
For no rival works nearly so hard.

— Cody Johns

###

Please take some time to consider
Arroyo, there’s nobody fitter
With a nose in the books
And Portlandia looks
She’s most certainly not a quitter

— Daniel Braden

###

From north of the Noyo
There’s none beats Arroyo
she works hella hard
she’s in the Coast Guard
and likes enchiladas con pollo

— Scott Greacen

###

When voting for your supervisor,
Your best choice is this keen early riser
Arroyo gets all the facts
Speaks with insight and tact
Jobs, housing, and art energize her.

— Erin Kelly

###

Arroyo is one who knows how to lead
A mover and shaker with the skills we need
All those answers on LoCo
Anything she don’t know?
Natalie’s the best Supe guaranteed

— Stevie Luther

###

Arroyo “council”ed our city so nicely
and made all of her points so concisely
with smarts, dedication
gusto and education
She will supervise our county precisely

city council is how she began
to help the whole county now is her plan
excitement, accountability
knowledge and creativity
Are the reasons I know Natalie can.

city council is how she began
to help the whole county now is her plan
excitement, accountability
knowledge and creativity
Are the reasons I know Natalie can.

— Rachel Griffith

###

Let Natalie take up the slack
Her mind is as sharp as a tack
She’s “A” number one
And will get the job done
‘Cause she’s miles ahead of the pack

— Don Christensen

###

Mike has weird stick figure signs.
And Kim, too, wants to be mine.
On voting day, it will be so,
I support Natalie Arroyo.
Leaving the others to opine.

— Steven A. Santos

###

Vote for Mike, he’s the one for Eureka
All others, they sort of, you know, reeka
Mike’s served in the past
He can get things done fast
When he wins, we’ll celebrate with Margaritas!

— Karen Brooks

Fifth District Supervisor

Your 5th District Sup thinks he’s your boss,
And that means he needs to be tossed,
The one you should elect
Serves everyone he’s met
So Team Up Humboldt for Larry Doss!

— Karen Brooks

###

Madrone is a man of his word
Your voices will surely be heard
The good old boys
Will use their ploys
But voters will not be deterred

— Diane Higgins

###

Everyone needs an abode
And to choose their traveling mode
Madrone’s the one
Who gets it done
Another good term he is owed

— Diane Higgins

###

Our wonderful Super-Madrone
Has a record that is well known
He built us a trail
Which all can avail
So vote for the man who’s homegrown

— Debby Harrison

###

Re-elect Madrone from Westhaven,
If he were to lose it’d be graven.
Let’s win in a rout,
Keep the good ol’ boys out-
If you find our county worth savin’.

— Cody Johns

Clerk/Recorder/Registrar

Recorder, Clerk, and Registrar of Voters, you choose.
Vote for my candidate Juan and you can’t lose.
He’ll build confidence in Humboldt elections with transparency too.
He’s experienced, prepared, and an advocate for you.
Democracy is so important, don’t snooze!

— Joan Tyson

Auditor-Controller

Paz Dominguez is her name,
Auditor Controller’s her game.
She’s Xtra hard workin’
The Truth she’s not shirkin’
So vote KAREN! helpin’ in perfectin’ her aim!

— Nancy Pelletier

###

This A-C race is not that complex.
County workers? Hey, they deserve checks!
Now, we get it. You’re woke.
But check this out, folks:
You can vote Cheryl and still not like Rex

— Terrence McNally

###

Karen, as you run from the mob,
shouting for you to do your job,
I vote for Dillingham,
as LoCO posts like spam,
looking for new topics to blog

— Steven A. Santos

###

Have you written a great or terrible limerick in support of your favorite local candidate for office? Send it to news@lostcoastoutpost.com, and put the words “Election Limerick” in the subject line!

###

PREVIOUSLY: 

Murder suspect Austin Michael Medeiros, accused of killing a disabled woman in her Kneeland home, has been transferred from Santa Cruz and booked into Humboldt County Correctional Facility.

Medeiros, 27, was booked last night on charges of murder, assault and battery, possession of a controlled substance and fleeing from law enforcement. He allegedly murdered 28-year-old Emily Rose May Lobba, who was found dead the morning of April 3 in her home on Greenwood Heights. Medeiros also is accused of assaulting Lobba’s caretaker, then fleeing in Lobba’s van.

Medeiros abandoned the van during a police pursuit and managed to escape on foot into the Arcata Community Forest. He was arrested a week later in Santa Cruz as he was reportedly trying to steal a boat.

Medeiros is from Warwick, Rhode Island, but had been in Humboldt County for an unknown period of time and had been spending time with Lobba.

Lobba’s parents, Alex Lobba and Mary Jackson, live in Ventura and held a memorial service for her yesterday. In a Facebook post, Jackson said “You may or not have heard yet that our precious fierce daughter Emily Lobba has passed to the other side. It was a tragic homicide death … she loved and was loved by so many people around the world.”

Emily also leaves behind an older brother, Marco Lobba.

Medeiros will be arraigned early next week, District Attorney Maggie Fleming said this morning.

PREVIOUSLY:

• Man Connected to Suspicious Death in Kneeland Evades Law Enforcement By Fleeing Into the Arcata Community Forest After Pursuit In Victim’s Car, Sheriff’s Office Says
• Suspect, Victim Named in Kneeland Homicide; Public Urged to Be on the Lookout, Motorists Warned Suspect May be Attempting to Hitchhike South
• Kneeland Homicide Suspect Arrested in Santa Cruz Yesterday; Suspect Had Loaded Stolen Firearm and Mushrooms in His Possession, Sheriff’s Office Says

EARLIER:  Courthouse Gathering Planned for Fifth Anniversary of Lawson Death

Arcata Police Department press release: 

Five years ago today Cal Poly Humboldt sophomore student David Josiah Lawson was murdered while attending a house party in Arcata.  The Arcata Police Department continues to investigate this open murder case and continues to consult with the Humboldt County District Attorney’s Office and the State of California’s Attorney General’s Office on investigative resources that may lead to justice in this case.

A 24-hour tip line remains open whereby information from confidential sources can be provided to APD investigators that may lead to additional tips and leads.  According to Arcata Chief of Police Brian Ahearn, the need for witnesses to come forward is necessary in order to move closer to achieving justice.  “It is paramount that witnesses come forward.  Our investigative team remains at the ready to respond to anyone at any time to document their statement as we continue the fact-finding process.”    

Anyone with information regarding the murder of Josiah Lawson is asked to call the Arcata Police Department’s confidential tip line at (707) 825-2590 or APD Dispatch at (707) 822-2424.  Eyewitness accounts of what led up to, and including the murder of Josiah are crucial to bringing this case back to court. 

PREVIOUS LoCO COVERAGE OF THE LAWSON CASE:

• Jail Records Reveal Name of Suspect in Fatal Arcata Stabbing
• Arcata Police Receive Anonymous Email Detailing Specifics of Arcata Homicide, Beg Author to Come Forward; Suspect Officially Named
• ‘He Was the One’: Josiah Lawson, Humboldt State Student and President of Brothers United, Remembered at Campus Prayer Service
• Zoellner Pleads Not Guilty to Arcata Stabbing Murder; Bail Set at $1 Million
• United by Tragedy, HSU Community Celebrates the Life and Mourns the Death of David Josiah Lawson
• ‘It Should Not Have Happened’: Friend of Arcata Murder Victim Believes Racism Delayed the Emergency Medical Response That Could Have Saved His Life
• ARCATA MURDER HEARING: First Witnesses Cast Doubt on Whether the Police Department’s Suspect Could Have Stabbed Victim; More Testimony Coming Tomorrow
• ARCATA MURDER HEARING: Witness Testifies That Lawson and Zoellner Were Grappling as the Victim Bled; Police Officer Describes Chaotic Crime Scene
• ARCATA MURDER HEARING: Friends Testify on ‘Girl Fight’ Between Lawson and Zoellner’s Girlfriends Prior to Fatal Stabbing
• ARCATA MURDER HEARING: More Testimony on the Knife Found at the Scene; Lawson’s Friend Testifies He Saw Zoellner Drop Something Shiny
• Judge Dismisses Case Against Kyle Zoellner, McKinleyville Man Arrested in Stabbing Death of HSU Student David Josiah Lawson
• Arcata’s Police Chief, Vice Mayor React to Zoellner Hearing Ruling
• ARCATA MURDER HEARING: Kyle Zoellner to Be Released After Judge Reinholtsen Rules Not Enough Evidence to Hold Him For Stabbing Death of Josiah Lawson
• (PHOTOS) Protesters March Through Arcata Demanding ‘Justice for Josiah’
• HSU Faculty, UPD, Brothers United Participate in Radio Town Hall on Lawson Case Tonight; Arcata Mayor Releases Statement; HSU Walk Out Planned Tuesday
• (PHOTOS/VIDEO) After Busy Week, Family and Friends of Josiah Lawson Still Seeking Justice
• Josiah Lawson’s Mother Offers $10k Reward for Information Leading to the Conviction of Son’s Killer
• Arcata Calls in Outside Investigators, Approves $21K Reward for Info Leading to Conviction of Lawson Killer
• Kyle Zoellner Appears in Court to Request Law Enforcement Return His Cell Phone, Laptops; Judge Says No
• (VIDEO) This Morning’s Lawson Murder Press Conference Offers Few Updates
• Public Investigator Working With APD in Josiah Lawson Case
• Kyle Zoellner, Once Suspected of Homicide in David Josiah Lawson Slaying, Files Claim Against City of Arcata For Defamation, Pain and Suffering, Emotional Distress
• (PHOTOS) Hundreds Turn Out for Eureka MLK Day People’s Rally and March for Justice
• DA: Grand Jury Declines to Indict Anyone in David Josiah Lawson Case
• (VIDEO) Justice for Josiah Activists Hold First Monthly Vigil Since Grand Jury Decision; Charmaine Lawson Vows to Keep Fighting
• ‘Justice For Josiah’ Advocates Demand Arcata City Council Turn Lawson Case Over to the State
• Arcata Police Release Images of Potential Josiah Lawson Stabbing Witnesses, Ask Public’s Help
• TWO YEARS
• (WATCH) ‘Who Killed Josiah?’: Documentary Takes a Look at the Lawson Case
• California Attorney General’s Office Says it Will Not Take On Josiah Lawson Case
• ‘Racism Kills!’ Supervisor Bohn Adjourns Meeting and Leaves Chambers Amid Outcry Over Derogatory Joke
• Humboldt High Schoolers Announced as First David Josiah Lawson Scholarship Recipients
• Josiah Lawson Documentary Set to Air on Los Angeles Television Later This Month
• (AUDIO) Charmaine Lawson, Arcata Police Chief Ask Witnesses to Josiah Lawson Slaying to Come Forward in Public Service Announcement.
• (VIDEO) ‘Justice for Josiah’ Activists Shut Down Arcata City Council Meeting
• Outside Review of Lawson Case Complete; Emergency Response Deemed Appropriate But More Training Recommended
• On the Third Anniversay of Josiah Lawson’s Death, Arcata Police Once Again Ask for Witnesses to Come Forward
• (VIDEO) Charmaine Lawson Interviewed for TV Documentary Series ‘Still a Mystery’; Episode on the Murder of HSU Student Josiah Lawson to Air Tonight
• Civil Grand Jury Finds ‘Failures’ and ‘Ineptitudes’ But No Direct Evidence of Racial Bias in Review of Josiah Lawson Homicide Investigation
• Submissions Sought for David Josiah Lawson Oration Festival
• Charmaine Lawson Settles Lawsuit Against City of Arcata; Terms Include $25,000 Contribution to Scholarship Fund, New City Mural and Additional, Undisclosed Terms
• Eureka City Schools Board Overturns Mural Ban, Making Way for BIPOC Student Art
• Five Years

###

Although more than three-quarters of California adults are vaccinated against COVID-19, opinions are more divided when it comes to vaccinating children. That sentiment played out Thursday when first, the author of a bill that would have mandated vaccines for all children pulled the legislation, and then again when state health officials pushed back the date of their student vaccine mandate.

It was a striking shift for a state that had been the nation’s first to announce a planned K-12 COVID-19 mandate.

The bill by Sen. Richard Pan, a Sacramento Democrat who chairs the Senate Health Committee, would have granted no personal belief exceptions to the requirement that all children get the COVID vaccine to attend school or child care. In sidelining his own bill, Pan said the focus needs to be on making sure families can access the vaccine for their children.

Within hours, the California Department of Public Health announced it will not begin the process of adding the COVID-19 vaccine to the list of mandated childhood vaccines for K-12 public and private school students because it has not been approved by the federal Food and Drug Administration. Previously the state had intended to require it for the upcoming 2022-23 school year, but now that won’t happen until at least July 1, 2023.

The health department said in a statement that even after COVID vaccines for kids receive full approval, it would also consider the recommendations of a Centers for Disease Control vaccine advisory committee and the American Academy of Pediatrics and American Academy of Family Physicians before issuing a school vaccine requirement.

Support for Pan’s bill has been wavering for several weeks. Last month, another member of the Senate Health Committee, Democratic Sen. Connie Leyva of Chino, told the group Stand Up Ontario, in the Inland Empire, that she was not going to vote for the bill.

She said she told Pan, “I just don’t think it’s the right time. We are too divided in the community,” she said. “I think this bill is too divisive.”

GOP political consultant Mike Madrid said legislators pull bills for many reasons, including a lack of support or because there is another way to reach the same goal.

“If a better way to solve it is access without the acrimony of mandate that is fine,” he said. “The point isn’t to disagree, it’s to get to a point where we have public health protections.”

Pan’s bill was one of eight aggressive COVID-19-related bills introduced as part of a slate from the Legislature’s vaccine working group, made up of Democratic legislators. Among the bills still alive in the Legislature are proposals that would punish doctors who share misinformation, require schools to continue regular COVID testing and change how the state’s vaccination registry works. Also still in play: a bill that would allow 12- to 17-year-olds to get vaccinated without parental consent.

The COVID vaccine is fully authorized for those older than 16 and can be given to children as young as 5 under an emergency authorization. It has been available since last year but the uptake has been slow. About two-thirds of 12- to 17-year-olds have been vaccinated, but the numbers are much lower for kids 5 to 11, with only about one-third vaccinated.

Two-thirds of California voters supported requiring the COVID-19 vaccine for K-12 students. But there is a big split along party lines.

Citing the low COVID vaccination rate among children, Pan said a mandate is not a priority until the state can make the vaccine more accessible. He said that in his experience, as a pediatrician, when parents ask about vaccinations they want to see their child’s doctor. But most doctor’s offices don’t offer the vaccine for COVID-19 and are referring families to drug stores or vaccination sites that are not child-centric.

“The challenge is that we are not getting vaccines into essentially the places where people normally get vaccines for their children,” he said, referring to pediatricians’ offices. “We still have a long way to go.”

A Berkeley IGS poll released in late February found that two-thirds of California voters supported requiring the COVID-19 vaccine for K-12 students. But there is a big split along party lines: Democrats and liberals overwhelmingly support a mandate while only about a quarter of conservatives and Republicans do.

Among parents, two-thirds said they felt having their kids vaccinated was essential or important, while 26% percent said it was “either not too or not at all important.” This question did not address the mandate.

Pan’s was the second of the working group’s bills to be sidelined by its author. A proposal to require all people who work, including contractors, to be vaccinated was also pulled.

Critics have been pushing back, arguing that the bills are burdensome and infringe on health and privacy rights — and no bill was more controversial than Pan’s. Many parents who opposed it said that parents should get to choose whether to vaccinate their children, especially when the vaccine does not fully prevent transmission and it’s still unclear how long it is effective.

“We did not feel it was the appropriate policy for children with respect to COVID-19 at this time,” said Christina Hildebrand, head of A Voice for Choice. The group advocates for parental choice and has worked since 2015 to keep personal belief exemptions for various vaccines in place. She points to the low rate of COVID vaccination among 5- to 11-year-olds as a reason to hold off on a mandate.

“Those parents have had ample opportunity to get their children vaccinated but the parents are hesitant,” she said.

Pan said it’s difficult to require something that two-thirds of young children have yet to receive.“Mandates are good at getting you to that final bit when we are at 80 percent and have to get to 90, not when you are below half,” he said. “If you are that far behind there’s a reason. Some of it is people have questions and want to get them answered, and they want to hear from the person they have been going to for a long time to get vaccinated.”

Madrid said the bills signal the possibility of future vaccine mandates as the world becomes more globalized and pandemics happen more frequently.

“There is an appetite to have more protection for public health and not less,” he said. “You give it a year and study how you can make it work if you are going to pass legislation this broad and sweeping. You have to make sure you get it right the first time.”

Pan said the mandate is not dead. He intends to watch the vaccination rates and said it could be something he brings back later.

###

CalMatters.org is a nonprofit, nonpartisan media venture explaining California policies and politics.

On the 15th of most months for the past five years, a vigil has been held on the Arcata Plaza or at Arcata City Hall. We bring flowers, wear red, light candles, hold signs, and shout “Justice for Josiah!” We stand in silence with our heads bowed in disbelief at our failed justice system. We listen to prayers prayed and a mother’s heart breaking, voice cracking, tears falling, rage and grief lining everything. 

Five years is a long time for a loving mother to wait in her grief. Five years of sleepless nights, restless dreams, imploring people to not forget her son, meeting with attorneys, sending letters and emails and voicemails and meeting with our elected officials and law enforcement, organizing coat drives, food drives, backpack drives for Humboldt’s needy, driving 13 hours from L.A. to Humboldt most months, praying with those who suffer and listening to those in pain. 

Five years of showing up to a town where her son thrived as a student at Humboldt State and a town where her son’s life was violently stolen from him. 

Five years without justice.

After many young people in his care were killed from gang violence, Father Gregory Boyle once wrote, “You don’t keep vigil—it keeps you.” 

Those of you who have lost your “beloved person,” where death came too quickly, abruptly, unexpectedly—a life stolen—you don’t hold monthly vigils to remember. You carry the vigil with you into every moment of your life. You hold vigil in your body, the hollow pain of loss embeds deep within you where this cavernous void becomes a constant reminder of who is no longer there. Every experience, every life-changing moment, every trip or vacation or holiday or meal around the table is a vigil—a perpetual sign of the life stolen and the emptiness you feel without their presence with you. 

You don’t keep vigil—it keeps you. 

Thomas Kemper plays “Man of Constant Sorrow” as his dog, Oswald, sings along | Video and photos: Stephanie McGeary

###

If you’ve spent much time in Old Town, you’ve surely encountered a few buskers – folks singing or playing music for passers-by, in the hopes of receiving some monetary donations. But how often have you encountered a busking dog? Well, if you’ve been in Old Town recently, probably at least once.

His name is Oswald Cobblepot, the Associate (yes, like the Penguin from Batman, but with “the Associate” at the end) – a seven-year-old German shepherd and American bulldog mix, who can often be heard loudly howling along with the booming voice and guitar strumming of his partner, Thomas Kemper, near the Old Town Gazebo.

The duo, usually bearing a sign that reads “veteran and his dog sing for tips” have drawn the interest of many listeners, some who have wonder how this adorable canine learned how to sing. Kemper said that one day his furry friend just started singing along with him, completely out of the blue.

“Somebody asked me one day ‘how long did it take you to teach your dog to sing with you?’” Kemper told the Outpost, sitting outside Old Town Coffee and Chocolates Wednesday morning. “And I said ‘I didn’t.” He did it spontaneously…Then I thought, why don’t I make it a part of my act?”

Since Kemper first brought home his pal as a 14-week-old puppy, Cobblepot didn’t so much as make a peep for most of his life. He never barked at other dogs. He never howled along with the sound of ambulance sirens. “I actually thought he was a barkless dog,” Kemper told the Outpost.

Kemper

Then about two years ago, Kemper said, he sprayed on some new cologne and, seemingly offended by the smell, Cobblepot barked at his owner for the first time. Shortly after that he started vocally expressing himself regularly, howling along with many of Kemper’s songs.

At first, Kemper said, he thought his dog was howling out of pain or dislike of the music. But after some time, it became clear that his pup was enjoying himself. Cobblepot seems to join in when Kemper hits a certain tone with his singing – the right combo of volume and pitch just seems to set him off. “Then once he gets rolling he just does what he feels, joining in at different parts,” Kemper said. 

Unlike his canine partner, 54-year-old Kemper has been singing pretty much his whole life. He grew up in a very musical family – his dad was a jazz saxophonist and his mom was a classical pianist. Kemper said that his parents, who were very into the Human Potential Movement of the 1960s, would set up a radio in his room when he was little and keep it on all the time, changing the station daily, to expose him to different musical styles. Apparently it worked, because he has always loved music and started singing when he was very young. He got his first guitar when he was 14 and taught himself to play to accompany himself. He’s been busking ever since.

Kemper said that he used to have a much wider vocal range – nearly four octaves. But a little more than seven years ago, Kemper was in a pretty serious motorcycle accident that left him with several injuries, including to his vocal cords. He was able to find his singing chops again, but he now stays in the bass range. What Kemper lacks in vocal range, he more than makes up for in volume and soul, belting out sounds that seem to resonate across all of Old Town. Kemper draws a lot of his inspiration from other singers who don’t necessarily have a lot of range, but do have a unique style, even some grit, to their voice – like Billie Holiday, Tom Waits and Bob Dylan.

“I would rather hear somebody who doesn’t necessarily have the technical virtuosity and capacity, but who has the soul,” Kemper said. “I’d much prefer somebody who just plays their heart out.”

Working as a busker, Kemper has spent most of his life traveling and has lived all around California, Arizona, Texas and Oregon. After most recently living in Eugene for a stint, Kemper and Cobblepot came down to Humboldt last November and are currently living at Nation’s Finest, a transitional housing facility for veterans in Eureka. Kemper is a veteran, having served in the Navy in the 1980s. 

Oswald Cobblepot, the Associate

Throughout his travels Kemper has had many different living situations — living out of an RV, camping — and has often been without conventional housing. But he’s never considered himself homeless, and identifies as “an urban backpacker” he said. He is currently seeking permanent housing, with support from Nation’s Finest. Kemper said he’s seeking a little more stability for himself and especially for his old pal, Cobblepot, who is getting older.

In case it isn’t apparent by this point in the story, Kemper really loves Cobblepot, who has been faithfully by his side for seven years. All of Kemper’s family has passed on, he said, and Cobblepot really is his only family, as well as his best friend and musical partner. He also is a real crowd-pleaser and when Cobblepot isn’t singing, he is usually eagerly approaching people, his butt wiggling excitedly, asking for love and pets.

“Oswald is such a social butterfly,” Kemper told the Outpost. “He really loves people. He’s taught me to be way more tolerant of people.  He’s got unconditional love. So he’s teaching me more of that.” 

District Attorney

Humboldt’s next D.A. should be Kamada.
If you like integrity, you gotta
vote in Adrian,
then we will all win –
safety, equity, the whole enchilada!

— Jennifer Savage

###

Smart and hard-working for years,
Ms. Stacey stands out ‘mongst her peers.
Her temperament’s tops
For where the buck stops
Vote Eads for D.A.! And three cheers!

— Marian Barnes Hancock

###

There once was a gal from McKin
The D.A.’s race she was in
You know she is best
Smarter ‘n the rest
That’s why Ms. Eads should win!

— Wes Keat

Auditor-Controller

I’m supporting Cheryl Dillingham
Who has done the job and will again!
No more deadlines faux pas
Blaming any but Paz
Maybe Humboldt will pay bills again!

— Gary Noar

###

For auditor I’m voting for Cheryl
She’s got Dominguez over a barrel
At her job Karen sucks
Costing Humboldt big bucks
Cheryl Dillingham will end our imperil

— Darin Price

###

Humboldt’s run long on the rubber stamp
And Karen’s raised the bar like a champ
The best manager she’s not
But she’s the most honest we got
And for that I’m in her camp

— Allison Edrington

Fourth District Supervisor

Natalie Arroyo — Super! (Visor)

Natalie’s vision for the North Coast —
The Humboldt we all love the utmost!
Improve business and housing
environment and learning…
Vote Arroyo for Supervisor 4 post!

— Gail Popham

###

There was once this guy, Newman
Who you’d think was a total shoe-in
From potholes and hobos
To needles and Oh no’s!
Eureka what are we doin?!

— Di Fiederer and Anthony Mantova

###

There is a kind man that’s named Newman
He is an exceptional human
So we asked Mike to run
Though campaigning’s no fun
Okay, Voters, make him a shoo-in!

He always shows love for his City
Having served on many committees
For the 4th he will be
Supervisor for thee
With him we’ll have serendipity

To save the County from misery
He’ll watch closely those funds Measure Z
Vote Mike on June 7
No other choice better
Elect this gent of integrity

— Lora Canzoneri

###

They say a supe’s work can be gruesome
The job doesn’t pay a great huge sum
It’s hard to select
Which one to elect
Be it Mike or the other 4th twosome

— Ross Rowley

Arcata City Council

A candidate of high exultation
Deserving another Councilation
She’s concerned for her town
And won’t let us down
Vote Stillman and put her on station

— Bob Felter

Superior Court Judge

Consider McLaughlin for Judge
His position on ethics won’t budge
He’ll rule straight and fair
But you criminals beware
Coz Judge Ben won’t be buying your fudge!

— Barry Klein

Clerk/Recorder/Registrar of Voters

Only Major League Baseball’s Gigantes
With their biggest outfielder guantes
Might capture more catches
Or votes in great batches
Than our very own J.P. Cervantes

— Richard Engel and Mahayla Slackerelli

###

Holy moly! Just hours after the Outpost announced that it would open the floor for election endorsement limericks, our inbox floodeth over! Thank you, all!

And you know what? We made a big showy stand for metrical regularity in the previous post, saying that we’d gleefully toss out any phony limerick that flubs its marks, but at least in this first round we’re going to go ahead and grant clemency.

Because why? Because it turns out that like 90 percent of you couldn’t write an actual limerick to save your own lives. It is truly shocking and astonishing and shameful.

Of the current crop, only Marian Barnes Hancock, Ross Rowley, and Engel and Slackerelli manage to actually pull off this most simple form of verse. 

The fact that Rowley manages to succeed where so many fail gives me a theory. One thing everyone knows about Ross: He is a musician. So he knows, and I bet Barnes Hancock and Engel and/or Slackerelli also know, that a limerick, first and foremost, is eight bars of 6/8 time. Y’all are counting syllables as if we were composing a curséd haiku, here, when you should be swinging. 

The basic metrical elements of the first, second and fifth lines of a limerick go like this:

DAH-duh-duh DAH-duh-duh DAH-duh

At the end of this line you get four beats of silence, which are important.

DAH-duh-duh DAH-duh-duh DAH-duh (rest REST rest rest)

See? Twelve beats, organized in four groups of three. That’s the foundation.

Now, you also get one or two optional pickup notes, which, musically, displace one or two of the rests in the previous measure. So those first, second and fifth lines could be:

duh | DAH-duh-duh DAH-duh-duh DAH-duh 

or:

duh-duh | DAH-duh-duh DAH-duh-duh DAH-duh

If you can sing your first, second and fifth lines to the tune of “My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean,” you’re doing great.

The third and fourth lines are half-lines twinned with one another, and their rat-a-tat-tat quality is the whole key to the form’s essentially comedic nature. They go:

DAH-duh-duh DAH (rest rest)
DAH-duh-duh DAH (rest rest)

… and again, you can use the pickup notes if you wish.

Let’s use what we now know to analyze the greatest limerick of all time, Robert Conquest’s reworking of The Seven Ages of Man:

First there comes puking and mewling;
Then very pissed off at your schooling;
Then fucks; and then fights;
Judging other chaps’ rights;
Then sitting in slippers; then drooling.

How would we recite this?

FIRST there comes PUKE-ing and MEW-ling (rest REST rest) then
VER-y pissed OFF at your SCHOOL-ing (rest REST rest) then
FUCKS and then FIGHTS, judg-ing OTH-er chaps’ RIGHTS (rest) then
SIT-ting in SLIP-pers then DROOL-ing (rest REST rest rest)

There you go! That’s a limerick!

Now everyone go forth and write great limericks — or, OK, even terrible ones — in support of your favorite candidate for office. And when you do, send them to news@lostcoastoutpost.com, and put the words “Election Limerick” in the subject line! Let’s keep it rolling!

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